What can I do to avoid this?

[hopefulInFuture]

I work for a big company. Last week we had a company conference with over 300 people abroad. I am a good looking and intelligent woman and it always happens to me that my colleagues approach me. I've met so many guys that approach me, want to date me and then I find out that they're either married or have a fiancee. Now, I understand that we are in a specific age range and there aren't many singles there, but I don't get it why they won't simply leave me alone. It's happened so many times that now it's starting to hurt me thinking that I am attracting all of the slimes out there. Lucky for me I don't trust men I know little and I don't get into this easily. But I feel frustrated. I feel that I will never find a nice guy because all I am attracting is cheaters and losers. Even last week there was a guy I work with closely who had a courage to tell me that he's fallen in love with me yet he's with a girl and he loves her deeply and doesn't want to leave her ever. Nothing happened between us but his words hurt me still. I told him he should focus on his girl and forget about me otherwise he'd lose her. He kept messaging me for days how his heart beats when he thinks about me, how great I am and so on... Why even come out and say something like this? As I rethink about his words, as beautifully as they were said, to me they mean simply: hon, I want to go to bed with you with no strings attached!

 

Now you'll tell me why even care? the thing is that initially I believe these guys, and then when I find out they're married or otherwise taken, I get angry with myself for believing. I want to tell them that they're so selfish for not thinking about others.

 

What can I do to change this? I've given myself a promise that I would no longer believe any other colleague. I hope I can stick to this promise. I am not a vulnerable person. Don't get me wrong. I am happy with my life. But I wish I find the right person and not these slimes.

[Fouts]

Well, since your problem is at the workplace, why don't you adopt a practice of letting your male colleagues know that you don't fraternize with co-workers in any way as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

 

What you're describing is a situation of working closely and getting to know someone and then finding out that he's attached. What I desribed above can be accomplished rather quickly through normal small talk and take care of this ongoing problem.