I'm paying, but i not deserve this!!

[monkey]

Hi

After returning to England to get treatment for an anxiety problem, i find my seperated one bull****ed to me about things, just so i would return.

She said i could return to her as friends & see how things went. We agreed to a cooling off period, but now i'm in England, it's changed. She says she did it because i wouldn't have leaft if she told me there, she says i should find someone else & forget her, yeh sure!!.

We been together 15 months & very close, but i got ill & she was there for me as i would be for her, hence a relationship. She put up with my emotions & panic attacks & it made her feel ****, i regret it. It doesn't warrant her lying to me.

 

We email, but inevitably i put questions, as i have a lot & think i deserve answers, but she doesn't want to talk of this.

All i talk of is 'me returning', which are her words to me before i leaft. I have letters she gave me saying this & that she's there for me. Surely i deserve this.

All is in ruins now & i've gotten all depressed, we went to start a life there together, she had a nannying gig. I was to get a visa & start a gig of my own in a kitchen i'd arranged. She says time is needed for us both, i'm not givin up on this cos i love her, this time thing i hold onto, i just hope she can look in the mirror & think what she's done is good, i couldn't!!

[Arabess]

I don't care what someone said or wrote in the past......Love is NEVER EVER a sure thing. Trying to hold someone accountable for past promises....is like trying to hold rain in the palm of your hand.

 

If she is saying now that the relationship is over and you need to move on. All you can do is honor her request and do just that......move on. NO...it's not easy....but it's doable.

 

In love....no one owes you anything. They should....but they don't .

[Tony T]

Wow, do you ever have a handle on this stuff!!!

[moimeme]

Monkey

 

Sometimes people make promises without fully understanding the situation they're letting themselves in for. It sounds as though you need quite a bit of treatment and that this illness is significant. Not everybody can handle people with those sorts of conditions. Thank your lucky stars that she bailed when she did. If she's not able to deal with you 'in sickness' and 'for worse', then it's best you find that out now before getting financially and legally attached to her.

 

Forget this woman. She is not what you thought she was, is she? You thought she could stick by you (as did she) but you both were wrong.

 

Now leave all thoughts of her behind and concentrate on getting healthy so the next woman will have no reason at all to flee.

[monkey]

Hi

She knew i took a medication for anxiety when we met & throughout the 15 months we were together. She was fine by this.

We also shared a very close sharing relationship & cared a lot for each other.

My problem escalated quite a bit because of an incident that happened & she helped me with my problem for a month before i returned home, i was a problem & it had an effect on her that i feel so bad about!. She says she did this because she cares & any other girl would have just leaft me. I agree with her & i was a burden & she knows that this wasn't me & i couldn't help it. I'm a happy, confident person with a good heart & she knows this, but this problem covers that all up temporarily.

I understand she needs space, she deaerves it, but i also believe she loves me & because love is a state of mind, after time & healing, it will change. I'm not saying we'll get back together straight away, just an opertunity to see how it goes.

 

People sometimes just give in & live thinking 'what might have been', but i love her & believe we have a future. I'm not deluded, but i'm no quitter either, i can't just throw in the towel, just because a problem arises. I never quit when i met her & she didn't want a relationship. If i had, we wouldn't have had this 15 months together. I believe time will change her.