Author Toodamnpragmatic Posted April 19, 2010 Author Share Posted April 19, 2010 I am amazed that there are actually surveys that state otherwise. These are written I am convinced solely for for rags like Cosmo, Glamour...... that really do not serve to empower women but make them self conscious about weight, looks, relationships, career, salary..... Pretty boring to tell them the truth, that the majority of males with a family and a happy home with a good sex life, are content and faithful..... Doesn't sell books and magazines. Could there be a one-night stand? Maybe..... but no LTR's. Cheating is reserved for primarily "bad boy" and those getting very little at home..... Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 do not serve to empower women but make them self conscious ..... HUGE agreement there. I read those mags as a teen, but saw through them by my early 20s. Those magazines are so bad for women, I swear. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 What I have found so far is that when she sees me as manly and in control, she has high desire. When she sees me as conquered (by her), she has little desire. I truly believe that most women in general crave strength even to the point of disfunctionality. When I become too nice, I become undesireable to her. I think she only wants what she can't have. Once she can have something, it is no longer of interest to her. Short of divorce, I do not see a direction I can march toward to fix my situation. I see the truth of this in my situation (47, wife 45, 8 kids, 3 dogs, 3 cats, 2 horses, some chickens and ducks. And the occasional possum the kids have shanghied.) Though not sex-starved, things in my marriage have been "weird", for lack of a better term, for about a year and a half. Mostly the ol' "stuck in a rut" thing, though I could sense her gradually disconnecting. After fretting about it for a while, I turned ME around, or more precisely got back to my old self: fun, flirty, teasing, etc. What I had in mind was that, even if my marriage collapsed, I was going to preserve my identity and I was realized that, come what may, I was going to be okay. So far, that has made a world of difference. As demonstrated by the early morning BJ I woke up to a couple of nights ago. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 It is ironic to me that this question was directed towards men in marriages. At 46 years old, I have had four long-term relationships (5 years, 3 years, 12 years, and 2 1/2 years). And in each case, *I* was the one wanting more sex from my respective male partners. Now, being single, I can't find a partner who can match my libido and while my relationships ended for multiple reasons, I often wonder if my desire for lots of sex wasn't one of those reasons. I wish I could be like Lizzie and be comfortable having sex with married men; then I know I could get it a lot more. Instead, I am mostly celibate because I am not yet comfortable being alone and on my own. Yes, I could get it on a daily basis by running Craigslist ads, etc, but nothing healthy or consistent. Link to post Share on other sites
John Who Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 When I was M,we had sex daily it was out of the norm if we did not have sex,I can't give a number I just know it was alot! Best sex I ever had was with my XW,we had a strong sexual connection,but when were not having sex we just didnt get along. Now that I am single the norm would be maybe twice a week. Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 My wife and I both are 42 years of age. We have been married for a few years now. I got married later in life, compared to when some got married I suppose. We have sex at least two or three times a week, sometimes more sometimes less, depends on schedules how tired we have been etc.. I'm happy with this and she seems to be as well. Probably haven't had it as much here lately, since she had cancer and has been taking treatments, I don't mind though, I'm just glad I have her still. It also puts things in a while different perspective too. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 I think it is normal for things to cool to some degree over the years. I also suspect a person's struggle with this happening can be heavily influenced by how frequently they had sex as a single person. If they got laid all the time; a cooling in the bedroom once married could cause resentment and prompt them to think of seeking elsewhere. They had "game" before, so they have some reason to believe they could still find someone willing. They dwell on that option more and might act on it. If they didn't get laid often as a single person, they might not notice a slowing down in the bedroom or take longer to grow resentful about it. They might also believe since they had limited options as a single person, leaving the marriage would put them in a similar boat they have with the marriage, only minus the long term companionship. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 Me and my gf are in our twenties. We have been dating about a year and half and living with eachother about a year. I would like to have sex probably 3 or 4 times a week. In reality we have sex once a week if I'm lucky. Link to post Share on other sites
jurney Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 Me 45 wife 46 married for 19yrs.been together for 21yrs. two kids age 13 and 10. Avg is about 2 to 3 times a week Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 How many are having enough great sex on this Forum???? We keep going back and forth on this topic. There are some women who seem quite happy with their sex lives and from my last topic posted many disagreeing with my premise that if a man is getting good quality, regular sex at home, the vast majority would never cheat and those that do, do so because of the lack of it at home. So in this Forum, and I'm not sure how many men actually are here, but of those that I know, only mem11363 is getting plenty at home:cool: (and even for him it is somewhat of a compromise)...... The rest of the males here, come here to kvetch and search for a solution/answer/understanding of this issue.... I get it pretty regularly. The main thing stopping us is our schedules, often-times I'M the one too tired, lol. In the beginning, we went through a phase where she shut the sex down hardcore, for no good reason. I basically had to pull back and get all aloof and distant before she started showing me some attention again. She's immature. I wouldn't stray out of respect for my gf, but I do have a crush on someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 56 yrs old, wife is 49. Four kids but only one left at home. Sex 1-2 times per week plus she gives me a BJ every 7-10 days, basically in recognition of the fact that my drive is higher than hers. Works for me... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 43 years old, married 14 years, 2 kids and a dog. Great sex twice per week with wife, solo an additional twice per week (usually alone, sometimes in bed next to her). Funny you should ask this because just yesterday she requested we use the HitachiMagic Wand that I bought for her over 3 years ago which was still factory sealed in the box http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t107563/ An amazing toy and a fun morning ! What, you bought your wife a Hitachi Magic Wand and she left it sealed in the box for 3 years?!?!?!?! :eek::mad: Link to post Share on other sites
Manchester Man Posted April 23, 2010 Share Posted April 23, 2010 47 yo 2 kids married 8 years. Sex w her every 2-3 weeks, maybe less. By myself every 2-3 days, more if I'm not tired. Terrible marriage, one kid sleeps in the room. Link to post Share on other sites
tnhusband Posted April 23, 2010 Share Posted April 23, 2010 male 43, wife 38, married 10 years with 3 kids. Sex 1-5 times a week - some weeks life gets in the way and other weeks we are so in sync. Some weeks she's insatiable, some weeks it's me but we communicate so much better than we used to. Had a few years of her having libido problems - removed some of the career stress in her life and got her off the pill - the 2 greatest things we ever did for our marriage. Now she's happy her libido matches mine 90% of the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Tethys Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 Married 2 months. We're in our mid- to late-30s. Sex every 2-3 weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
linwood Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 What, you bought your wife a Hitachi Magic Wand and she left it sealed in the box for 3 years?!?!?!?! :eek::mad: I have a hard time getting my wife to put hers away. Link to post Share on other sites
Bill13 Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 Me 55, she 54, together since 16, sex always was regular and great. 1 kid long gone on his own. Used to be 3 times a week on average. 4 years ago averaged about once a week. 2 years ago down to once every couple of weeks, In the past year, about once a month. Sex is still great when it happens (on both sides) I could live with once a week, really i could.......... Link to post Share on other sites
Blindsidedagainalive Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 I am having great sex several times a week. Unfortunately, I am by myself. Link to post Share on other sites
She's_NotInLove_w/Me Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 (edited) Both 38 years of age, married 16 years, together 17... 5 kids together, emotional and non-sexual side of the marriage is EXTREMELY roller coaster like. Sex is great, but only occurs 4-6 times monthly. My ideal would be once every 2-3 days. We can go 10 days without sometimes, we can be intimate 2 days in a row, or even twice in one day sometimes. But still averages only 4-6 times monthly. She controls when it happens, and she refuses me once in a while, but otherwise I can deal with 4-6 times monthly if I had to. It's certainly not horrible or deal breaking by any means. More of an irritant, and an occasional sore spot. I have a very very strong intuition that if we fix the other problems in the marriage, the sex and intimacy will return naturally... Edited April 26, 2010 by She's_NotInLove_w/Me Link to post Share on other sites
bullhunter Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 male age 60, wife also 60 married 22 years, together 35 we have sex on the average of 4+ times a week, sometimes more not always "exciting" but always satisfying. my wife has always had a high libido and has consistently been willing to be experimental enough to keep me happy I did have an affair (EA) but the issues I/we had were not sexual Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted April 27, 2010 Share Posted April 27, 2010 So what do you think, TDP? There's been a real range of answers here. Does it confirm your expectations? male age 60, wife also 60 married 22 years, together 35 we have sex on the average of 4+ times a week, sometimes more not always "exciting" but always satisfying. my wife has always had a high libido and has consistently been willing to be experimental enough to keep me happy This post had me all excited. "Yes! This will be us in our 60s!" I did have an affair (EA) but the issues I/we had were not sexual Until I read that Sounds like you've moved past it, though, so kudos! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toodamnpragmatic Posted April 27, 2010 Author Share Posted April 27, 2010 So what do you think, TDP? There's been a real range of answers here. Does it confirm your expectations? This post had me all excited. "Yes! This will be us in our 60s!" Until I read that Sounds like you've moved past it, though, so kudos! at the # of males in highly sexual marriages.... Thought it was an urban legend;)..... Don't know what's wrong with my circle and what my spouse tells me...... Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted April 27, 2010 Share Posted April 27, 2010 Don't know what's wrong with my circle and what my spouse tells me...... it's in my circle too... I don't know anybody in a LTR who's actually sexually happy... they are all complaining, all of them... and my wife tells me she knows many work colleagues (all women) who are in sexless relationships and very happy about that! Hence her proposal of a sexless marriage some time ago, as you might remember... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toodamnpragmatic Posted April 27, 2010 Author Share Posted April 27, 2010 it's in my circle too... I don't know anybody in a LTR who's actually sexually happy... they are all complaining, all of them... and my wife tells me she knows many work colleagues (all women) who are in sexless relationships and very happy about that! Hence her proposal of a sexless marriage some time ago, as you might remember... It's what I hear too.... Some exceptions, some whose husband's are the ones not too interested, some in so-so marriages...... I actually think LS is atypical.... Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted April 27, 2010 Share Posted April 27, 2010 It's what I hear too.... Some exceptions, some whose husband's are the ones not too interested, some in so-so marriages...... I actually think LS is atypical.... I'm sure LS is atypical....and not only in this dept! Still, the average is probably somewhere between the activity reported on LS (which draws people interested in sex and sexuality) and what you hear from your social group. What is in the tap water where you live? Link to post Share on other sites
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