Going after someone in a relationship?

[Pfiend101]

I am curious what your thoughts are about someone who goes after a woman or man that is already in a relationship?

 

My thoughts are that it is wrong. That you shouldn't mess with someone elses relationship. It is a very low move in my opinion. I don't respect those who do it. Say the person in the relationship is swooned by the other person and decides to end the current one. Both are at fault however it says a lot to me about the person that initiated it. I have no respect for these types of people.

 

If someones taken, they are taken. Wait till they are single or stay the hell out of other people's business. It is something I just couldn't do. No matter how much I was attracted to the person in the relationship. Character is what it boils down to.

 

There's my rant for the day.

[Kaplan]

I tend to think it's wrong.

 

My friend did that with his wife, though. It doesn't make much sense to me because, first of all, she should have said "no" when he asked her out. Right? I mean why would you be with someone if you didn't like them enough to say, "no" to another guy that asks you out. And that's the other thing, if her old boyfriend was such a loser that she needed to dump him than why should she wait for another guy to ask her out to dump him? If your boyfriend deserves to get dumped, just dump him as soon as you figure that out. And how can you date a girl you got in that manner? You've got to be thinking, "what's stopping her from doing that again?" But it worked for my friend. They're a fine couple now too, and I love them both. It's weird.

 

I don't think what we're talking about is even comparable with cheating though. I'm not going to lie, I've been tempted to do it.

[EasyHeart]

I used to think it was wrong, until I realized that other guys were constantly chasing after my girlfriends.

 

Married is different from dating. Married is off-limits. Women who are just dating are fair game. Most likely, they are not going to cheat on their BFs, but a lot of women who are unhappy in their relationships start scouting for a new boyfriend before they break up with their current one. It's a ****ty thing to do, but the reality is that a lot of them do it. So you might as well get on her radar.

[xRJ85x]

If you really think about it (and watch the plenty of movies that have such a subplot), it's not wrong if everyone considers their situation carefully. If a guy really is in love with a girl, then he should have every right to tell her how her feels. It's up to the girl to take that and really think about it. How happy is she with her current guy? Would she be happier with the other guy? Then she would obviously have to make the dreaded decision of talking and/or breaking up with her current bf. It's really only wrong if the girl cheats.

[Eeyore79]

I tend to subscribe to the view that anyone who is married is off limits, but anyone who is not married is fair game. Of course, there are shades of grey - I probably wouldn't waste my time pursuing someone who lives with a partner or is engaged (too much hassle). But if someone was just dating, then I'd express my interest and let them decide what to do about it - I wouldn't be pushy or actively pursue them, just be friendly and let them know I'd be interested if they decided to end their current relationship. As long as they're not cheating, I don't see why it's a big deal if they choose to dump their current partner because they prefer someone else.

[That_girl]

I have no respect for people who do this because I feel like they must not have any respect for themselves...

Sometimes we fall for someone that's unavailable, it's not horrible to want them and secretly wish that their relationship ends. lol That being said though, it's very selfish to actively try and screw it up. If I were the one in the relationship I'd be weary of the one trying to eff it up.

[ADF]

I agree. People who do this are pretty low. Frankly, I think a lot of men who do it are not even that interested in the other guy's GF. Often, they just want to assert power over the other man, to belittle and humiliate him. I've never had it done to me personally, but I've seen guys do it.

[TheBigQuestion]

Unacceptable in virtually all situations.

[xRJ85x]

It's a disgusting thing to do. Just because it happens in Hollywood does not make it ok.

 

I think I'm being misunderstood. There's a big difference between letting a girl in a relationship know one's feelings for her, and her making a responsible decision, and someone actually trying to break up a couple because of those feelings. The latter is completely unacceptable. There's no harm in the former.

[Romance]

Well if the person in the relationship is willing to cheat, then they are just as wrong as you. I dunno, I would never get with a guy who had a girlfriend, I'm not trying to be a homewrecker.

[2sunny]

I think I'm being misunderstood. There's a big difference between letting a girl in a relationship know one's feelings for her, and her making a responsible decision, and someone actually trying to break up a couple because of those feelings. The latter is completely unacceptable. There's no harm in the former.

 

you are splitting hairs to try to justify the principle of the matter.

 

if YOU are seriously dating someone and he shows enough interest in another gal to get her attention - thus taking that attention away from your relationship - does that make you a happy gal inside the relationship? not usually.

 

either way you look at it it's wrong... to everyone involved - just to serve the intended cheaters ego.

[spookie]

i think it depends on what you mean by "relationship".

 

if you're talking married or engaged, i agree - low move.

 

but how about casually dating someone? for a lot of us cynics, love and emotional commitment aren't instantaneous. it may take months, or even years, to get there, during which we might be open to jumping ship, if we truly believed a better person had come along.

 

i'm not talking about cheating, just being open to not ending up with the person you're currently with, in the casual dating stage of a relationship.

 

that's why i think anything prior to engagement's fair game as far as expressing your interest goes, tho it's wrong to actually start the new relationship before the previous partner is out of the piucture.

Edited April 19, 2010 by spookie

[Kaplan]

What if he beats her? Does that make it OK?

[phineas]

Not interested in a chick in a relationship.

If she'll jump ship for me, then she'd probably jump ship for someone else.

 

However, if it's just dating & not exclusive their fair game.

[make me believe]

WOW! I certainly hope all of you who think people in relationships are not off-limits explain that to any potential partners in the future! "Yes, you're my girlfriend, but we're not married so that doesn't mean I'm off-limits to other women!"

 

I have no respect for people who don't respect other people's relationships. Anyone who goes after somebody who is in a realtionship deserves to have the same thing done to them. Btw, if people in dating relationships are not off-limits, does that mean your girlfriend/boyfriend is not off-limits to others?

[phineas]

WOW! I certainly hope all of you who think people in relationships are not off-limits explain that to any potential partners in the future! "Yes, you're my girlfriend, but we're not married so that doesn't mean I'm off-limits to other women!"

 

I have no respect for people who don't respect other people's relationships. Anyone who goes after somebody who is in a realtionship deserves to have the same thing done to them. Btw, if people in dating relationships are not off-limits, does that mean your girlfriend/boyfriend is not off-limits to others?

 

Dateing means just that.

Dateing.

Non-exclusive.

Non-serious relationship.

NOT BF/GF

 

If somone is my girl I shouldn't have to tell someone to stay away from her.

[Pfiend101]

If somone is my girl I shouldn't have to tell someone to stay away from her.

Exactly what I think.