more time

[sharon]

I have been dating a guy for a few months we were friends for about 6 months before we got together, and I like him quite a bit. Brent says I love you but I don't think that he really means it. I am not really sure what we are to each other. We hang out with each other at least once a week(we are usually with his friends then too), but the other times that I am not with him he is hanging out with his friends. He never seems to be home because he is hanging out with his guy friends. I have been out with two other guys since me and Brent have been seeing each other, and all that I think about is Brent when I was with these guys. So I never usually see them more than once or twice. I care a lot about Brent and I will like to see him more, but I am not sure how to say anything without seeming clingy. If anyone has any advice please let me know.

[buddy]

You sound like you care about this guy a lot, so what is the hold up? I suggest you tell him how you feel, because you'll regret it forever if you don't. You won't sound clingy if you stay positive and carefree when you tell him. If you tell him that you think about him a lot and that you want to see where things go if you could see eachother more then you won't sound clingy. Now if you go to him and tell him he spends too much time with his buddies and not enough with you then that will for sure get him upset. Let me tell you, guys don't like to be told what to do just like women don't like to be told what to do. If he hears how you feel and wants to spend more time with you, then he will for sure do that. You sound like a very caring person and I don't see why he wouldn't want to spend more time with you. But you have to find out how your relationship with him stands first. For all you know, he could be thinking the same thing about you. One thing that I've learned is that if its meant to be then it will be. You can't force anything, but don't back down!! Good luck and most importantly just be open and honest and yourself. That way you won't regret being something you aren't. Hope it works out well!

[Taressa]

Two things concern me here. First, that Brent has kept you involved in his life at a lesser degree than his guy friends, and second, that he does not seem to be involved in any parts of your life.

 

Brent's "I Love You"'s mean no more than the actions he gives to back them up. Your post admits that you don't quite believe his words - - SMART GIRL!

 

I believe you're also wise in sensing it is time to make a move. I suggest, however, that you talk with him about his feelings and plans for being involved with your life rather than confess your growing love for him. The I-may-love-you bomb: we lose more men that way!

 

Since your relationship is still young don't feel too rushed. It's okay to invite him into your circle of friends too. Just make sure you keep some space in your life away from him so you don't become dependent and obsessed with him. Make sure also that the loneliness in your life is not pushing you to desire love feelings out of what is truly a platonic friendship.

[sharon]

well I can tell that he cares about me when we are together, but I honestly do not believe that it is love. I care about him a lot. I know that he is busy with his friends, and as soon as he gets home from work one of them calls him to hang out. I don't call him very much, because I feel that if he wanted to talk to me he would call me. Maybe I shouldn't be that way, and maybe it is a good thing that I rarely call him. I do have my own friends, and we do hang out with them too. I just would like to spend a little more time with him alone. We do distance ourselves when we are out with other people, but it isn't quite the same. I really feel that we could have a bright future with each other, if we both tried a little bit. I am just looking for some advice on how to bring up my feeling to him, without seeming clingy.