girls

[sc]

well I'm not sure what to do about girls. I was in a relationship that lasted about 3 years and 8 months and that took up the last two years of high school and just about my first two of college. Now I'm single and "back out there". I'm out of practice and am struggling with the lady situation. Its hard for me to go up to girls now that I haven't done that since i was a sophomore in high school!!! Girls I could use some advice. I'm shy, but VERY outgoing once I feel comfortable. I could use some advice about how to go about actually getting past the initial awkwardness of meeting girls. I know that I should be myself and stuff like that, but I'm lacking the confidence I once had to be outgoing. I find that sometimes I'm bland because I'm afraid to come out and be outgoing. I also have a very hard time telling if a girl is interested in me and a lot of the time I'm too afraid to make a move with the fear of looking like an idiot. I've already screwed up a possible great relationship with a hot girl because i took too long to make a move. I could use some advice on how to get my head out of my butt!! Thanks, SC

[Taressa]

Yes, that initial contact really can be awkward and a little scary, especially when you've been off the market awhile.

 

Why not start out slowly, just develop a casual conversation with a girl who looks interesting.

 

Need something more practical? I'm pretty quiet myself but recently stopped dead in my tracks to start a conversation with a couple men. Maybe their tricks would help you:

 

The first sat outside at a cafe'. He was reading a magazine but was making eye contact with several passers- by. As I walked by he caught my eye and smiled. After five steps more I turned around, introduced myself, and had a brief conversation with him. His smile and the atmosphere of the outside cafe felt safe.

 

The first was with a less-than-average looking man. We were standing in line at a bookstore. He asked a question about the book I was purchasing. The poor fellow then lost control of the books he was carrying and I watched a funny juggling scene as he dropped and quickly re-caught the books. He looked up with a smile and made a funny remark. I was caught in his sense of humor and left the bookstore with a smile. His sense of humor disarmed an awkward situation and made me feel comfortable.

 

My guess is you have some charming characteristics that you just need to get out there. Make yourself seen and available. Seek out activities you enjoy and take notice of the women around you. Making some casual contacts will build your self esteem and renew your opposite-sex-attraction skills.

 

Just have fun; that is the greatest aphrodisiac I've known.

[It's okay..]

As a girl, here is my advice to you. Smile. That is the best ice breaker. If she smiles back then go talk to her. Eye contact is also important. It shows confidence even if you don't have any. Just keep trying. Make it a point to talk to one girl a day. Not for a date or anything like that, just to build your skills and confidence. Just do it, and don't worry about it, it will go better that way. Good luck with the ladies.