gecolon Posted January 19, 2004 Share Posted January 19, 2004 I've been with my man for 11yrs. In the beginning he wanted to marry, but I said for us to wait, because he is 10yrs my junior. So last yr I started thinking about marriage, and he would say things like we are already married in everyonelse's eyes, and by law (common), but if that is what you want then ok we can get married. Well, I brought it up again around ThanksGiving and he's like I already told you that if that is what you want to do then let's do it. Now I don't think that is enough. I wan't him to marry me not cuz I want him to, not cuz he is afraid of loosing me if he doesn't. He has told different family members that we are getting married, and some have asked why, and he has said cuz she wants to. Well, I don't want to get married cuz I want to. I want to get married cuz we want to. Yes, he loves me, and has helped me raise my three kids from a previous marriage, he adores me, and supports me. But something just doesn't seem right about him marrying me cuz that is what I want to do. Now guys am I being unreasonable, do most men get married because of the same reason (cuz she wants to and I don't want to loose her, or I want her to be happy)? Heck, now that I wrote this, and read it, I think I might be making too much out of it. Please respond with your input. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 19, 2004 Share Posted January 19, 2004 Originally posted by gecolon Well, I don't want to get married cuz I want to. I want to get married cuz we want to. My thought is that if he didn't want to, he wouldn't be so accomadating? Link to post Share on other sites
Author gecolon Posted January 19, 2004 Author Share Posted January 19, 2004 You know, that is exactly what he says. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 19, 2004 Share Posted January 19, 2004 No problem, If I were you, I wouldn't worry about it too much. He probably just didn't realize how important to you "official" marriage is. Link to post Share on other sites
ArdeaCandidissima Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 I think you should ask him for exactly what you want. "I love you so much, I am longing to hear you say 'Please marry me'." BTW...actions speak louder than words. And for 10 years his actions have been saying, "I love you, and am committed to you and your wellbeing." So you've got the meat (hee hee). But it's fair for you to ask him to put some gravy on top, just because you want it, and he's such a great guy he wants to give you what you longing for. Don't analyze it any more than that or you run the risk of annoying a terrific fellow! Link to post Share on other sites
Samson Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 Heck, now that I wrote this, and read it, I think I might be making too much out of it. Right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gecolon Posted January 20, 2004 Author Share Posted January 20, 2004 Thanks. I needed other people to help me put it into perspective. Link to post Share on other sites
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