Help!

[kittinplay]

I need you guys to Help me !!1

 

First let me just give you a brief history. My husband and I got married when I was 16. Not because we loved each other but because we had our first son. That has been almost 10 years ago and 4 kids later.

 

My husband is a mamas boy. She lived with us for 4 years of our marriage but I finally got away from her when we moved 45 minutes away from where we were. Neither of us has been happy since we moved. She used to have to pay the bills. I would have mine and he would have his. I paid my bills from my pay up until I quit my job and he would hand his mother over his pay so she could pay his bills and give him an allowance. My husband also used to be a drug addict when we met. I thought he had given it up but come to find out he has still been doing it for the last 2 years. l

 

So we now live out here in the middle of no where with no friends. Everything has gone wrong since we moved. My oldest son has had to have 2 surgeries. My husband is always gone wether shooting pool, working, doing drugs, I don't know. Anything to not be here. He doesn't really give me any money for things I want so I have to collect his change and cash that in when there is enough. My husband is self employed. He used to bring home I don't know about 8000 a month. Now he brings home around 4 i would say. I don't really know exactly since I do not have access to his checking. It is almost the end of January and the 1099's have to go out for his employees so I was seperating the checks. My husband didn't have a debit card for the longest time so everytime he needed money it has been by checks. Well I almost flipped out when I seen the 3 inch stack of checks written to him for the past 4 months. All were over a hundred dollars or more. Then I start getting the late letters. Theu were coming to get his truck, then without notice my truck that I spent my dads lifeinsurance on gets repoed. The rent is not paid for the month, they just turned off the cable, the phone will be next. They are attaching the checking account for a personal loan. I have tried to get him to let me pay the bills but he floats checks to cover his payroll. I don't really know what is going on.

 

Anyway we have been fighting since my truck has been gone. I know it is just a truck but like I said I spent my dads life insurance on it when he died. I didn't really get anything else to cherish of his. My husband says I am stupid for being mad over material things. And maybe I am. That discussion led into him not being happy with me. I am bi-polar and I haven't been on my medicine since i left my job and insurance. He says I am always just sitting in the house. Don't really want to do anything else. Well I could be cheating on him like I have done in the past. But I am not. I stay home and try to take care of our kids. Anyway he said that he would probably do better without me. He wants the kids and wants me to go. Then he has sex with me and now he is totally opposite. He loves me and never discusses what we were fighting about.

 

I still have not let it go. I am almost at the point of leaving. I know that me and him will never be together forever because he is nothing that i want. He doesn't cuddle with me, sex is a nightmare its good for him. And he stil wants to be out everynight.

 

But I am confussed about the kids. I have tried to leave him and take the kids before but I always failed. He doesn't want to pay child support, still wants to come around and have sex.And so on.

 

A friend of mine has offered for me to come and stay with him. Yes it is a guy but we are just friends. I don't know what to do. I would talk to my phy..but without my truck can't get there.

 

I guess I am afraid of the end of my marriage. I am afraid of leaving my kids but I think t is probably best for the time being.

 

Does anyone have any advice?

 

Thank you for your help.

[Prettyangel]

The bottom line will always be: What do you want? Nevermind your husband and his abusive ways!

Ask yourself; Why do I want to stay in such chaos? Why do you?

 

You need serious help with this and help is out there. Your children deserve to grow up in a healthy and save enviroment.

 

Kids, Money all these excuses are not valid, if you truly want to get out, you plain do it!

If you don't want to do that for yourself, do it for your children!

 

It all goes back to YOU! What is the matter with you to want to be with a user and abuser? Drugs???????????? is that what you want your children to learn about?

[SoleMate]

You'll need some help, someone to back you up. I would not lean to much on the guy friend as that could turn into its own awkward situation. What about parents, other relatives, girlfriends, church members? You'll need legal advice to protect you and the children. A 26 year old single mother with 4 young children needs a lot of $$$ to get through the month. I understand your fear, you will need to be very strong. Can you get a job? Can someone help you with the kids? What about health insurance?