Author trippi1432 Posted April 30, 2010 Author Share Posted April 30, 2010 Its time to catch the bus to Mexico trippi Its time for you! Funny you say that gunny...I'm all for a New Mexico transfer....don't know where this life will lead me, but as to be somewhere better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author trippi1432 Posted May 1, 2010 Author Share Posted May 1, 2010 Eh, I don't entirely agree with that statement, though I admit that I'm one to immediately start preparing for the other shoe to drop as soon as I realize that I'm happy. I still do it...gloom and doom and all of those shenanigans, but I'm getting better about just...I don't know, best way to put it is just being and appreciating the small things that go right in my life instead of focusing on the bad things and the impending doom of everything that could go wrong. Being suspicious of every good thing that comes into your life sets you up for disaster, something that someone very close to me has helped me realize...that's the same person that instilled the morals, values, and respect that made me who I am today. And said person will find their way, they're strong...passionate...just one hell of a person. We're all a work in progress from birth to death, anyone who disagrees with that and thinks that there's nothing to work on with themselves are doomed to living a mediocre life with no strong relationship or ties to any other human being. We're works of art, love. Eh, we always wait for the other shoe to drop because it eventually does. My problem is that I am always suspicious of anything good because eventually the true colors show. A girl friend and I were talking today and it's true, some things just aren't meant to be and some people can just be bad for each other once the fog lifts. I have my "fog" in a nice little Russell Stover box....not for regret, but for the few months that they made me happy. Not for dwelling, but for the one time something was good until it went bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author trippi1432 Posted May 1, 2010 Author Share Posted May 1, 2010 (Cheers for you!) :bunny::bunny: Get it, get it! LOL!! Ok...call me a chicken....backed out. SIGH!!! WTF is wrong with me??? I can't do it!! (Loser!!!) :o:o Link to post Share on other sites
Author trippi1432 Posted May 1, 2010 Author Share Posted May 1, 2010 Your first problem is that your a 2010 Western Woman that's being culturally and socially conditioned to be any and all to any and all the people that come in contact with in! Be it work, your homelife with the STBXH, the DS, the DD, the in-laws, the out-laws. You've got it in your head that your suppose to have all the answers to the questions and all of the solutions to the problems! Any and everyone around you is trying to use you for their own selfish purposes. And you need to tell them to back to hell off and get the hell off of you! Don't life to work! Work to live! Telll HR, yea I'll come back but these are my terms and conditions and if you can't deal with that? You can shove it on down the line. The reason they want you back so badly is because they know they can't replace you with just any fool off of the street. The DS? Lay down the law! This is the way it is and this is the way its going to be! And if you can't deal with that? You can just move it on down the line. And you need to seriouly get yourself some "me" time, and if someone has some problems with that? That's what the Hell its is! They're problem! And I would seriously forget this "group thing" because those people in thast group? They're not living your life, they're not having to deal with what your having to deal with. Get yourself one on one with a pyschologist. I spent 45 minutes with one and he told me I was suffering from long term depression, anxiety, PTSD, needed to quit self medicating with alcohol, and to just put out my side of the truth with my children. He got e an appointment with my MD the next day, got me on AD's and anxiety drugs. Took about three weeks for them to kick in, but I'm neither high nor low. I'm 90% + back to being the care free, happy go lucky guy I was thirty years ago before I joined the Corps, went through the seperation and divorce. I'm sleeping better and sounder, having "happy' dreams, drinkning 98% less, sleeping sounder and deeper, awakening refreshed! I'm listening to music again which is a biggie because after my divorce I quit listening to it for the mot part! Take it from a combat vet! See a pyschologist get on some AD and anxiety pills Your living your life way too hard ~ way to fast! BTW? It took me fifteen freaking years to figure that out! Gunny - I sent you a PM, but please, I need help!! My mother and daughter want to have me committed!!!!! I'm doing the right things....seeing my counselors, taking my meds and doing the group counseling...taking time off of work to reduce the stress. Yes, I've been hitting the anxiety pills more this week because I am going thru a very angry and rough time right now and am trying to adjust to being alone (kids moved out, so I am dealing with some abandonment issues). Yes, I am sleeping more...probably catching up on years of sleep that I have missed due to living too hard and too fast (thanks to work and the git it done management style, school...etc). But committed??? I got off the Zoloft because that was making me feel suicidal. The other time was earlier this month on what would have been my four year anniversary (and some personal issues going on as well). The last time was this past Monday due to some work issues and I decided to either take a leave of absence or quit. Called my counselor and did the right thing. I'm working through this....trying to get back to "me"....can your family have you committed just because you have talked about it but not taken the steps to do the actual deed? Why can't people just let people live and work things out instead of being the other f'ing shoe? Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 I've answered your PM. At best Mom and DD can have you committed for 24 hours, in which the psych will evaluate you and let you go. The one thing is that if you've made a statement about hurting yourself or others. The courts know that sometimes, most of the time that its taken out of context ~ in that you were just PO! And that you say things you really don't mean. I did it with the IRS telling them that I might as well kill myself as I would never be able to pay back the back taxes that I owed because of my divorce? To say the least they got real agreeable quick, fast and in a hurry like. I didn't mean it, but they didn't need the bad press! Your under a lot of child related/separation/divorce/job stress. The bottom line is that somethings got to give. Your in a serendipitous downard spirial! As I have been for years and years. Something had to give! I just couldn't go on drinking, nor not drinking digging dead Mariines out of rubble in Beruit each night, nor throwing dead women, children and babies and men in the back of Marine Corps dump trucks each day to be buried in mass lime covered graves? My children know not what I've done nor what I've seen nor what I've been through. But this I know! For sure and certain! AS you should know! And as you should understand! You gave and did your best! You gave 110% +! You gave all you had at the time, and if you knew now what you know? You would have given more! Its time for you! Its time to catch the bus to Mexico! John Kennedy said, "Ask not what you can do for your country! But what you can do for your country!" I answered that call, gave twenty years of my life to it! I did the same for my XW and for my children! You know what? Its time for you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author trippi1432 Posted May 1, 2010 Author Share Posted May 1, 2010 Thank you Gunny!!! :love: Link to post Share on other sites
44caliberloveletter Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 LOL!! Ok...call me a chicken....backed out. SIGH!!! WTF is wrong with me??? I can't do it!! (Loser!!!) :o:o What!?!?! Don't back out lady, go out, have a good time, and enjoy your life! You only get one! Link to post Share on other sites
Author trippi1432 Posted May 1, 2010 Author Share Posted May 1, 2010 What!?!?! Don't back out lady, go out, have a good time, and enjoy your life! You only get one! I will...I have a date tonight....he's as tall as me (ok...thinks he's taller), the most handsome young man I have ever seen....gives the best hugs and dances with me in the kitchen and is interesting to talk to. That's on a good day...lol. Spending the evening with my son. The only man that I need in my life for the next um-teen years. Feel sorry for him...LOL!!! Link to post Share on other sites
44caliberloveletter Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 I will...I have a date tonight....he's as tall as me (ok...thinks he's taller), the most handsome young man I have ever seen....gives the best hugs and dances with me in the kitchen and is interesting to talk to. That's on a good day...lol. Spending the evening with my son. Feel sorry for him...LOL!!! Haha, well that's better company than none at all Link to post Share on other sites
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