has been 3 years and broke up with only a bye

[greenfairy]

Hello.I posted once before .my boyfriend asked for breaking up with me last Friday.I really dont know what's wrong with him or me.I have 100% believe i am a very good girl .We loved each other so much .He told me he will come here 2 years later to continue his study,telling me the school will offer scholarship for outstanding students to study aboard.(he is smart)At the same time,we both are having exams these few months. I told him I would go to find summer job for him to see if i got enough money .He agreed.And he said he would work for me .

 

But until last friday he told me he didnt want me to work. He even told me he 'd teach a high school girl at her home.Later ,he told me "I couldnt take care of you so much.I guess we better seperate,there's no reason to continue.you can find better boys to love you" I begged him to stay with me and told him i wont leave him. He told me " i will be scientist i will be so busy .even we got married.we will be so happy in the first month.later then i will back to my work and do my research.I will back home at 23:00 and some days i wont go back home".i asked again"will u let me to go out ?" he said"i will lock you at home"I asked why and he told me that i 'd go out to find another man."we should break up i dont want u blame me later and i sacrifice myself "he said.

 

 

at the end,he ended up with me with just a BYE .I didnt know everything clearly yet so I called him more than 30 times.He blocked my phone.I sent him 3 sms ,no reply,I sent more than 3 email ,no reply.He is evaporated.I even went to his blog and left a comment to him,he deleted my comment and blocked me.

 

 

So is that really love.Why he doesnt appreciate all the things i did for him.I really love him so deeply until now.I am having my public exam and he told me such things i really feel so sad.I cry every night.

 

 

I hope someone can say something here.thank u

[Els]

i asked again"will u let me to go out ?" he said"i will lock you at home"I asked why and he told me that i 'd go out to find another man.

 

....Uh. Either he is one screwed up man or he was saying this on purpose to push you away. Either way, don't you think he sounds... screwed up?!?!

[greenfairy]

i really dont understand why he would leave me suddenly.Maybe he wanted to leave me already and told this lie to me....

[Els]

Don't you find anything WRONG with that statement that I quoted from him!?!?!?

[Gradschooler]

How old are you both?

[Always A Lesson]

Greenfairy, Your story is heartbreaking. After 3 years of showing love, then one day ALL THESE EXCUSES and BYEEEEE....OUCH!!! I know love is not logical , but I smell a rat. First, thank God you found this site! Second, if you haven't already,... go NC. Thirdly, at this point try to maintain your sanity. Sounds funny , but you can literally drive yourself wacky trying to figure it all out.

 

Believe me, don't do it to yourself. Continue to post here and start the healing process. I've had 3 heartbreaks in a row but nothing compared to this last one. It literally knocked me off my feet. It's been 6 months NC and I can't believe how far I've come. When I look back, I can't believe how down I was, and I'm a strong person, people look to me for strength.

 

 

I'm not totally there yet, but I'm on my way. One thing I've realized about LS is the knowledge that it offers, so much I didn't know before coming here, most of these people know what they're talking about!

[Rollercoasterr]

Don't you find anything WRONG with that statement that I quoted from him!?!?!?

 

 

Going to go ahead and agree with Elswyth on this one. You see NOTHING wrong with that statement????

[aerogurl87]

He wanted to lock you in the house while he was away at work? What does he think you are, Rapunzel? Look, you dodged a bullet with this one Green fairy, the guy obviously has control issues and is screwed up in the head. You know there is a fine line between genius and insanity and he seems to have crossed it, in my opinion. Go no contact. Throw yourself into your studies, family, or friends, whatever it takes to get yourself through this. I've been there where the person you love just blocks you out of their life completely without warning. But something's up, I don't believe you got the whole truth out of him (and you maybe never will) but you have to move on for your own sanity at this point. If he doesn't want to make things work with you, then that's his loss.

[Els]

I just realized that the scariest thing...

 

Is that she actually asked him 'Will you let me go out'?!?

[greenfairy]

I just realized that the scariest thing...

 

Is that she actually asked him 'Will you let me go out'?!?

 

firstly,thank you so much for your comment.I replied so late because i am having exams.

 

u are really smart ,i actually asked him"will you let me go out ?"after he told me i had to wait for him until night every day.

 

and he answered:no

 

i then asked "can i work with you ?"

 

he asked"will u become a doctor or phycist?"

 

i said" impossible i am an art student "

 

he then left me ...

[greenfairy]

Other than what everyone else stated about that locking you in the house comment being cah-razy, I find his reasons to be lame. Because he is a scientist and won't be home?!? Hello, what kind of an excuse is that? My bf does have a professor who is going for tenure and he lives at the school because of it, but you don't let your career choice affect your relationship unless you are not that into the relationship.

 

Scientists get married and have lives, too! But the guy seems too crazy and possesive to hang around with, anyway.

 

 

yes totally agree i tried to use example to show him by saying "other famous scientists have wives too why not us?"

 

he just answered that he is the difference .

 

for a normal girl like me of course i wont agree with him and tell him"i want to stay at home to wait for u back" ,i am not that cheap.

 

 

i really feel helpless about this man,he is just like a mad scientist

[greenfairy]

He wanted to lock you in the house while he was away at work? What does he think you are, Rapunzel? Look, you dodged a bullet with this one Green fairy, the guy obviously has control issues and is screwed up in the head. You know there is a fine line between genius and insanity and he seems to have crossed it, in my opinion. Go no contact. Throw yourself into your studies, family, or friends, whatever it takes to get yourself through this. I've been there where the person you love just blocks you out of their life completely without warning. But something's up, I don't believe you got the whole truth out of him (and you maybe never will) but you have to move on for your own sanity at this point. If he doesn't want to make things work with you, then that's his loss.

 

thank you for ur advice .

 

since he is really weird person .these months i am having exams and i seem like i wanted to take revenge on him.I dont think i am stupid but just i am an art he is a scientist.we are in different world.He might only treat me like a book.After reading me and threw me away.I guess we really loved each other so deeply,but since he is really unusual .our past conversation were always about "God " , "science invention", "best books" .I am not sure whether you know Who Nicolas Tesla is,he is a famous phycist and thats his idol.He told me before "Tesla didnt get married ,he is my idol"

 

I am not sure about it but guess he is a fool now.

[greenfairy]

Greenfairy, Your story is heartbreaking. After 3 years of showing love, then one day ALL THESE EXCUSES and BYEEEEE....OUCH!!! I know love is not logical , but I smell a rat. First, thank God you found this site! Second, if you haven't already,... go NC. Thirdly, at this point try to maintain your sanity. Sounds funny , but you can literally drive yourself wacky trying to figure it all out.

 

Believe me, don't do it to yourself. Continue to post here and start the healing process. I've had 3 heartbreaks in a row but nothing compared to this last one. It literally knocked me off my feet. It's been 6 months NC and I can't believe how far I've come. When I look back, I can't believe how down I was, and I'm a strong person, people look to me for strength.

 

 

I'm not totally there yet, but I'm on my way. One thing I've realized about LS is the knowledge that it offers, so much I didn't know before coming here, most of these people know what they're talking about!

 

 

aw thank you for ur nice advice..

 

i cant believe i would have such painful experience.

 

I always think if i treat people good ,people will treat me good as well.

 

So i always ask myself to understand his situation .

 

He is really stressed about study and always worried about if he cant come here and get married with me.

 

I guess that makes a relationship end?

 

I always think he could be one of my good friend,i kept on sending email to him by saying "please reply on me ,we can be just friends"you know i cant really forget our old days.I am having exams and sometimes i cried .

 

It's really sad that i am not live in US ,and i cant go to NC and LS.I live in Hong Kong actually.but i guess i can heal by myself by playing piano,drawing,photographing .i will show him my power,wish one day he will feel regret and knee on the floor and cry in front of me lol

[greenfairy]

How old are you both?

 

well,i am going to be 18 years old

 

and he is going to be 19 years old

 

but my mind is not childish

[greenfairy]

why I am a mad scientist otaku?

Fri Apr 23, 2010, 9:06 AM

 

people think i've gone crazy in these days.not actually...i'm just being otaku.

 

but why?

 

why don't i like being social,getting girls,having sex everynight,drinking beer with friends,getting new friends?

 

i'm admitting now.yes i am a otaku!but no one knows that.because they even don't know what it means.

 

firstly i hate my relatives.they have really silly ideas.they think they're best.but wait,who doesn't think that way?am i not thinking like that right now?yes,but i like being that way.

 

i am an otaku and i like being that way!please don't bother with my life!don't you have another job already?do it!i mean u criticize people,you say "ignorants" but what you do when you go back home is watching tv for hours.

 

i start to study after i feel relaxed when i get home.i think my life is more meaningful than other people's lives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I myself think that he wanted to try love,just he got broken family and lacking of support.Another reason is,he loves science more than me.He rather give up all these material things and live in his world.

 

please judge it and i am willing to read more.thank u !!!!!!!!!

[AnnPod]

What he says just sounds immature to me. He says he would not want you to leave the house and stuff, and still he claims to be oh so grounded in life, more than anybody else, because he prefers studying over social interaction or any type of amusement.

 

This type of isolating behavior is just a sign of a deep insecurity about one's personality that he is covered by claiming he doesn't care about anybody.

 

Every person, no matter how career or science orientated, wants to be loved, it is human nature. And he needs someone to help him to overcome his issues, maybe professional, maybe some type of person he is not as scared of as you. And for every person, no matter if scientist or artist, love is an inspiration.

 

I think you should think about yourself now. Would you like to be the projection space of his issues? He does not have anything to give to you except of his fear and aggression, so if I were you I would just cut all communication off.

 

Wish you all the best.