Nutmeg Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 I have been living with my boyfriend and his mom for a few years now. It is his house, and she came to stay a few years back (before we met) when he was having some trouble. We have been talking about getting a house for the last year or so, and every time it comes up, she starts talking about the furniture she wants to put in it and stuff. I don't want to live with her forever. She is a nice lady, but she is very bitter about men and life sometimes, and she has a few disgusting habits. I would like to have kids someday, and she absolutely despises them. Do I tell my boyfriend that I don't want to live with her forever? If so, how do I go about doing so? Any advice would be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Kriz Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 Well, it is HIS house. Tell him how you feel but don't come on too strong, or you might end up with a fight between you and his mother. I'm not sure wether the outcome would be positive if that were to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 Is it possible to find a house with an 'inlaw suite'? They are separate residences but attached. People often find this to be a good solution to your sort of problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Errol Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 Don't force your bf to make a choice between his parent and you. It will not be pretty. Find a compromise. Link to post Share on other sites
mintjulep Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 Originally posted by moimeme Is it possible to find a house with an 'inlaw suite'? They are separate residences but attached. People often find this to be a good solution to your sort of problem. Oh yes, yes, yes. My boyfriend's maternal grandmother has been living with his parents since her husband passed on many years ago. They are lucky enough to have a large house (6000 sq.ft. for 3 people and a cat, lol.), so she lives on the North side of the house, while they reside in the South. They get along just fine, but I've seen my boyfriend's father be snappy with grandma, even though I'm sure he loves her very much. They just don't have to spend too much time together since it's as though she lives in a different place. Even people who are not so lucky as to have a house as large as this can create these kinds of boundaries with something as simple as separate entrances. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nutmeg Posted January 21, 2004 Author Share Posted January 21, 2004 Somedays, I really, really like his mom. She can be really cool and we have fun going shopping sometimes. I just don't want to live with her and have to sit with her every night until he gets home. Ugh. I don't want to seem like a horrible person, I would just like some privacy. Sometimes I think about going and finding an apartment and moving in it by myself for a while. I just don't want to hurt his feelings by doing that. I love him and I don't want to lose him. My life feels so complicated sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
locogurl Posted January 21, 2004 Share Posted January 21, 2004 I think you should tell him. It's important that he knows how you feel. Try to soften the blow though. Don't make it seem like he's done anything wrong or that you are angry about things as they are. Be prepared for him to take a few days to process your feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
metal_chik Posted January 21, 2004 Share Posted January 21, 2004 Communication, Communication, Communication Link to post Share on other sites
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