My girl Friends Exs and her Past Disturbing Me a Lot

[rajrana007]

Hi! My Name is Raj and i have been carrying on with this girl Nisha since last 9 months and we are pretty serious about each other and looking forward to marry each other. But today we were just talking about our past lives. She told me that in her life she had 2 ex boy friends with whom she just had a relation till smooching with one and with the other one some touching relation over the clothes that too. Even i had many girls in my life and i even slept with some of them which even she knows. But now the problem is i just cant stop thinking about how those guys must have touched her and how she must have felt. I am sure she hasnt had sex with them. I m going really mad thinking about her past life though even i had one. Is thinking about it is worth or just a waste of time. Please tell me ways to overcome it. I love her a lot cant leave her....... what do i do???

[mintjulep]

Forget about it. You love her, it's in the past. Breathe. Relax. Move on.

 

I've always wondered why the only people who tend to question their SO's past are the ones who can't usually handle it immediately. I'm not criticizing, just commenting. Sometimes it leads to worse problems, so, for future reference for others: Don't ask. If you have any trepidation about how you'd feel knowing the answer...just don't ask.

[moimeme]

Many people on LS have had similar problems. Thinkalot has offered her experiences for people to follow; she is doing battle with this issue successfully.

 

Here's one of her threads on the subject:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?threadid=31412

[NEONINK]

Stop thinking about it. Do you want her obsessing about your past?

 

If you treat her well... that's all that matters.

[Thinkalot]

Yes, moimeme is right..please read any of my recent posts, and read some books, or get counselling if you cant overcome/deal with the thoughts yourself. When you have a tendency to think this way, it can be difficult to overcome, and I understand how hard it can be. But it can be done! Do it now for yourself, and your partner. Good luck to you! Don't let this get control of you.

[Bunnyboy]

Maaaaaaate. This stuff is cancerous to your relationship and your own well being. Have been there myself. A wise friend once asked me 2 questions in regards to a similar issue (which basically comes down to a jealousy, perhaps in your case that another man has made your partner feel better/more turned on then you do......or something of the like) however the outcome can easily be manipulated or applied to your situation. The questions posed to me were:

 

Q1. Do you think of your ex-lovers or your experiences (and compare them) when you are with your partner?

 

Answer: No (hopefully "no" in your case as well)

 

Q2. Well what makes you think that your partner reminises about her ex-lovers and experiences (and compares them) when she is with you?

 

At the end of the day, PAST IS PAST, you cannot change it. Her past experiences are not worth your worries, especially if you love her and wish to create a future with her. Anyway, the good thing is that she is crazy for you (if you are thinking of marriage!), so start thinking about more important things, such as:

 

What can I do each day to show my partner that I love her.......and.......

What colour shirt will I wear tomorrow etc..etc...

 

I know that there are 10,000 more qualified people to give you advice over me. I suggest that you pay strong attentions to moimeme's and thinkalot's postings; they are on the money!

 

Good luck

 

Bunnyboy

[rajrana007]

Thank you Guys

 

I Guess You all are right and your suggestions are really working and nowadays we are spending quality time together and not fighting as we use to due to thinking about each others past lives. Anyways

 

Thanking u all once again

Take Care

raj

 

P.S. LOVE U NISHA

[XNemesisX]

Oh how I relate to this topic. Oh how I relate.

 

There is nothin worse than that bottom of your stomach, gut wrenching, heart hurting mental image(s) of your partner being intimate with other people.

 

BUT

 

After experiencing a cheating partner, nothin is worse than the nauseating feelings you get when someone has these intimate moments with another WHILE they are with YOU.

 

I agree with all the other replies. If she is true to you, then try your hardest to dismiss these crazy jealous feelings. I think most people have been there. In a perfect world, we would meet The One right off the bat and be eachothers first everythings and there would be no sick feelings of past encounters with exes slying their way into our psyches.

 

Just be happy and grateful if you can find someone who will be true to you while you are with them. The past is history.