bLooded Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 Hello now my problem is that i'am feeling my girlfriend is cheating on me. I have catched her just once to lieing me but it was for stupit ting. Now back to the problem i never catched her cheating on me but i feel it and when i'am asking her she claims she loves me and will never do that and this is not true etc.But inside me the voice and my feeling telling me that she lies to me 5 time i asked her is she cheating on me and 5 times she tells me she is not but this crap dont convince me. Now i want to hear is here on this forum a man who was feeling like once and then discovered he is right?By the way we are 4 months together and from abou 3 weeks she is in Italy and i am in Bulgaria the this means 2000KM distance.Now when she is in Italy,sometimes those feelings are burning me i know she is cheating on me it's just the very strong feeling telling me bout this and also we chat by SMS ot phone calls and she seem to feel like she did something wrong that's all for now pleace help me whit everyting you can peace. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 But inside me the voice and my feeling telling me that she lies to me 5 time i asked her is she cheating on me and 5 times she tells me she is not but this crap dont convince me. Is there any OBJECTIVE evidence that might indicate she is cheating on you? For instance phone calls, letters, casual remarks, new sex techniques etc. Just your burning feeling is not enough. Asking her five times is ineffective in finding the truth and may even anger her enough to push her towards cheating. Are you normally a trusting guy, and do you normally find her trustworthy? Or are you suspicious of people generally? ...she seems to feel like she did something wrong... That could be her guilt, or it could be something entirely different. It could even be her feeling bad because you're accusing her with no reason. I don't know Bulgarian culture...what does cheating mean in Bulgaria? Would social rules require that you dump her if she had intercourse with another man? What does cheating mean to you? What does your relationship mean to you? Please clarify so we can advise you best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bLooded Posted January 20, 2004 Author Share Posted January 20, 2004 Cheating for me is when you have a lover whois swearing to you that he loves you and telling you that you are the only one etc.,but at the same time all this tings that he is telling to you are lies and he is doing sex whit other people.Thats all. Now watch this : before 3 or 4 days i send her this SMS: Is there somebody who want to date you? She replayed me : OK OK there is one sweat but i will never cheat on you cuz i love you.Before 1 day she told me that she is going to disco and i asked her whit who ? Are you going to disco whit the sweet boy that you told me before? And she sayd yea but not only whit him.Now i dont reply when she is sending me SMS and the second one SMS that she send to me was :baby why dont you talk to me?Are you angry whit me?Dont you loving me nomore?Dont leave me i love you i miss you... But before this sms she Called me and her voice sounded guilty she was scared .... Link to post Share on other sites
Errol Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 Four months might seem like a long time to be together, but it really is a very short time for a relationship. Long Distance relationships are very difficult to maintain. If she is going out with friends to disco's or wherever and this other boy who likes her is going along too, well....it sounds like a recipe for romance. Maybe you should cut your losses now and find someone nearby -- someone you can see and touch and be with. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 OK, now I see why you're worried. Sounds like she is interested in this other fellow. I'll hand this over to the LDR (long distance relationship) experts... Link to post Share on other sites
Author bLooded Posted January 20, 2004 Author Share Posted January 20, 2004 Errol we know eachother from kids that means 10 years or more Link to post Share on other sites
Daffodil Posted January 21, 2004 Share Posted January 21, 2004 1) If you really are serious with this relationship, instead of keep on suspecting her, you should try to trust her. Even she may not sound very convincing there could be many issues other than cheating on you. It is normal if a guy hits on her and she happens to be going to clubbing with him and other people as long as the person she love is you. 2) It is also very true that, the more you accuse her, the more you would drive her away. I did that to my ex-boyfriend before and it drove him away. Now I learn that no matter what it is, you should not accuse her before you find any evidence. Moreover, if she really did cheat on you, you would have no way to find out, why put the thoughts in your head all the time and hurt yourself? 3) If you truely love her, have faith in her, tell her you love her very much and that you respect her and hope that she does the same to you (by not cheating on you). Other than that, there are really nothing you can do. How long will you two be apart for? If this is a long term long distance relationship then you should really re-consider if you can handle the jealousy. 4) One last thing, from what you have said you maybe just too worried, like I used to be. It is tough situation but accusation is not going to help. Believe in one thing: "IF you two are meant to be together, nothing can pull you two apart". Link to post Share on other sites
Daffoli Posted January 21, 2004 Share Posted January 21, 2004 P.S., 5) One more important thing, if she is really cheating on you, why would she even tell you that she is going out with that guy? If she intend to cheat on you, she can lie to you and saying that she is only going out with her friends. She can tell you nobody is hitting on her and that solves the problem. She tells you because she has nothing to hide. Well, sometimes that is not totally true but it is always easier to lie than have to explain so much by telling you that she went out with this other guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Kriz Posted January 21, 2004 Share Posted January 21, 2004 Is there any OBJECTIVE evidence that might indicate she is cheating on you? For instance phone calls, letters, casual remarks, new sex techniques etc Is that an indicator for cheating? You always forget about porn, don't you Solemate Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 21, 2004 Share Posted January 21, 2004 Originally posted by Kriz^ Is that an indicator for cheating? You always forget about porn, don't you Solemate Must every thread migrate to porn? Anyways, I think that it's not about whether she's cheating or not. I think it's about trust. If you don't trust her, leave her. You're not a judge, you're not a jury, you OWN your heart, and the verdict is yours. Consider yourself the John Ashcroft of your heart, feel free to hold her as an enemy combatant and send her to Guantanamo Bay, and out of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bLooded Posted January 21, 2004 Author Share Posted January 21, 2004 NO!!! She is lieing to me and ill prove it today to me and to you i know i am right ... By the way she told me he goin out whit boy cuz the best lie is the lie who is closest to the TRUTH i am sorry for my english i hope you'll understand me peace out ppl.Also the more time have passed the more lies i discovered on my own ... i think there is no reason to put all her claimings she loves me that i am the one who she is seeking wtf i'll bust her i swear (I LOVE HER ALOT AND I PREFER TO BE WHIT HER) lol also this is interesting she told me she wanna baby from me and she wants to get marry whit me i am 19 years old she is 20 lol ... Iwant all of thiz junk here is bull**** but in 1 2 days ill know be whit me ppl 10x Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 21, 2004 Share Posted January 21, 2004 I am with you! Leave the B@$#!, and get out. It's not about proving you are right. You think that if you "bust" her, she is going to want you? Get out. Get out. Get out. Link to post Share on other sites
Kriz Posted January 21, 2004 Share Posted January 21, 2004 I'm sorry if this is harsh, but... Get a grip or get a pet instead. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bLooded Posted January 21, 2004 Author Share Posted January 21, 2004 I forgot to tell you this its very important and its true: Did you heared when a person loves person very much he can feel when the other person is dead or something bad happened to him.. in this situation i feel she is cheating on me i am also very sensitive and know tings others dont know (most) here is example of what iam talking about..... My friend he is bulgarian and lives in Brzil now he lives here whit me told me this: He has a girlfriend in Brasil and he feeled she is cheating on him... then he dreamed strange dream: He dreamed his girlfriend how she is having sex whit a man whi is not familiar to my friend then 2 or 3 days after the dream he (my friend) catched her whit the exactly the same guy from his dream .. this is all for now Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted January 21, 2004 Share Posted January 21, 2004 [Are new sex techniques] an indicator for cheating? Yes, it's #19 from "46 Clues Your Partner is Having an Affair" by Dr. Robert Huizenga (http://www.spyarsenal.com/46-clues.html) "19) Suddenly wants to try new love techniques." Just throwing that in to respond to my favorite Belgian online. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 21, 2004 Share Posted January 21, 2004 That didn't seem important or relevant to me, maybe I didn't get it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bLooded Posted January 21, 2004 Author Share Posted January 21, 2004 how did you reached 19 ? explain to me ? Link to post Share on other sites
corporal17 Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 I have been in a relationship for 7 1/2 years. I married the woman 3 1/2 years ago. I have always suspected cheating. Things that she did and the way she acted, I just knew she was unfaithful. Well BINGO, I was right! On Dec. 28 I called her cell phone and listened to her messages, she had one from the man she was cheating with. But it has not only been him in 7 1/2 years. I now find out about at least 3 other times she has cheated on me. Now don't pass judgement, I am/was a very trusting boyfriend/husband. I never showed her I thought she was cheating. She was, and as short as your relationship was/is, I hope you will be careful of yourself. I am now separated waiting on a divorce, and it is absolutely the most painful time of my life so far. Everyone always says if it's meant to be it will, but I married this woman thinking it was right. I have very strong views on marriage, marrieages are suppose to last forever, right? Wrong. Communication is the key to a successful marriage, so communicate with her. The heart ache is a lot less if you are not married and there are no children involved. Hope you are feeling better! Link to post Share on other sites
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