MY BOYFRIEND IS WRECKING M Y HEAD

[COOLCAT]

I don't know what to do.I have been going ou t with my boyfriend for a year and a half and we used to get on very well.We have lived together for the last 9 months.However he has has absolotuly no time for me and i feel like breaking up with him.He never ever wants to do something /anything with just me his friends are always around(also we live with twop of his freinds aswell which doesn't help matters).When he comes hom efrom work he just drinks beeer and ewatches videos or else goes out with his friends.The only time we have time together is wehen we are in bed.Anyway here are some examples he went on holidays for three weeks to visit a friend(and an exgirlfriend) and didn't even ask me to go with him.He works 4 nights a week tuesday wed thurs and fri so i usually may see him on a saturday.We don't see each other from tue to sat at all beacuse of our clashing hours.Anyway he is going to spend this weekend with his friends until wed and then he is going straight back to work which means i won't have seen him in nearly two weeks.He never rings me when I am at work and he is at home and i amt totally sick of making the effort.He totally takes me for granted.The main probs are I love him and also i signed the lease so i have to stay here until november which could be awkward if we did break up.Also my confidence is now totally shot as regards relationships.I don't know what to do help!

[kim]

hey i completely understand what is going on. I have only been dating someone for 3 months and he acts the same way. He always is with his friends, and whenever I see him we are always with them. I never see him alone. I care about the guy that I am with and it sounds like you care about the guy that you are with. I am going to call the guy I am dating tonight and ask him to go out with me alone, and have a little talk. I think that you should talk to your boyfriend and let him know how you feel and see what he says. If he cares about you he will start making more of an effort, if not they maybe you should try just being friends. Hope it works for both of us.

[Tony T]

Your boyfriend isn't wrecking anything, you are.

 

You have total and complete control over your life. Your boyfriend is simply being the butthead that he is. He is a rude, uncaring and possibly cheating jerk that you should get far away from, in my opinion.

 

So exactly what are you getting out of the realtionship at this time? You have obviously addressed this with him with no results.

 

If you are remaining in the situation after you have put him on notice that his behavior is not acceptable to you and he has not changed, you are completely responsible for any damage done to your life.

 

Do some damage control and change your address...make it different from his. You most certainly deserve a man who will give you love and quality time. You should have been out of there the minute he went off for holidays for three weeks, part of which was to visit his ex. I smell a dead rat there really bad.

 

Certainly others have told you these same things. I couldn't possibly be the first.

[billy the kid]

well cool cat it sounds to me like you are only needed at the bed part of the relationship. personaly I would find some one who wants to see me at other times also..now you did say that you are in love with him so it might be hard, but you also mentioned a lease, so you must have been thinking long and hard about this.. no one here can tell you what to do, but I really think you already know what to

 

do.

I don't know what to do.I have been going ou t with my boyfriend for a year and a half and we used to get on very well.We have lived together for the last 9 months.However he has has absolotuly no time for me and i feel like breaking up with him.He never ever wants to do something /anything with just me his friends are always around(also we live with twop of his freinds aswell which doesn't help matters).When he comes hom efrom work he just drinks beeer and ewatches videos or else goes out with his friends.The only time we have time together is wehen we are in bed.Anyway here are some examples he went on holidays for three weeks to visit a friend(and an exgirlfriend) and didn't even ask me to go with him.He works 4 nights a week tuesday wed thurs and fri so i usually may see him on a saturday.We don't see each other from tue to sat at all beacuse of our clashing hours.Anyway he is going to spend this weekend with his friends until wed and then he is going straight back to work which means i won't have seen him in nearly two weeks.He never rings me when I am at work and he is at home and i amt totally sick of making the effort.He totally takes me for granted.The main probs are I love him and also i signed the lease so i have to stay here until november which could be awkward if we did break up.Also my confidence is now totally shot as regards relationships.I don't know what to do help!

[jessi]

ok...I gotta say i totally agree with tony.

 

Keep this in mind...he is taking you for granted right...well, you are showing him that he can. By putting up with all this, and not leaving him, you are basically telling him that you love him so much that he can do whatever he wants to, and when he needs you, you'll be there waiting for him. I dont mean to sound mean, but GET OUT of the relationship. Something is messed up with him ditching you to spend time with his exgirlfried. Are you sure that there is not something still between them? From someone whose been there, i can tell you that it wont get better, it will get worse. Dont ever let a guy take you for granted, no matter how much you love him and no matter how much it hurts. Breaking up is hard, but it really puts things into perspective...trust me. I know...i just broke off a 6yr relationship, and although i am confused as hell right now, it is better than hurting so much. And, i keep telling myself that life has a way of working out...you just gotta take the first steps to get there. good luck.