heartburn Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 Maybe someone out there can give me some advice. I think I already have the answer, I just need someone who has experience pain and hurt from their mates to tell me I am doing the right thing. I have been living with this guy over 10 years. We share a child together. He never wanted to get married. I knew he always cheated on me. He use stay out all night and always gave some poor excuses. He never could keep a job, so I was the one financially supported the household, while he hang out with his friends and smoked MaryJane. He also over the years abused me. Well about a year ago, I got tired and put him out. I told him unless he change, we were never getting back together. This affected our child alot. So after nine months, for our child happiness, I asked him to move back in and get married. Knowing in my heart he was not ready for this. Well, this was a big mistake! The day before our scheduled wedding, he told me to cancel it, he did not want to do it. Which I did, I was not going to force him to do something he did not want to do. But instead I told him he had to move out, because I was not going to "shack" anymore. Hoping to work out our differences apart. He moved out and stayed with an older lady in the same apartment complex I was in. In a way, I was at ease because he was not living with me and we both agreed to focus on our relationship not living together. We still were sexually involved. About a week after this arrangement, he moved an 18 year old girl (he is 35) in with him and the older lady who was supporting him. His plan was to see us both at the same time. I found out his scheme. This hurted so much, because I thought, after the years we have been together, that he love me and our child enough to not bring another woman under our noses. Not this way, at least! Well, now he want me back! He has cried and beg me to take him back. He actually wants to get married. But check this out, he has no way of supporting himself. He has no JOB. And though, I love him alot; I am not letting him back into my life. He thinks that I am wrong and I should give him one more chance. What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 He has had his chances. Run. Flee. Link to post Share on other sites
[email protected] Posted January 25, 2004 Share Posted January 25, 2004 LOOK!! You know the answer, but you still love him that's why you got doubts about it. it's clear that he is not for you and he's a bad example for your son. Don't waiste more time with him, you deserve a better life,after 10 years of pain. So good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
silk_sword Posted January 25, 2004 Share Posted January 25, 2004 if u think staying with this guy is better for your child, than u r lying to yourself. u know it's better to leave this guy. neither u nor your child deserve this. this is the type of father he will be. he will continue to mess up your child's life and run away from responsibility, selfishly returning at his own convenience. do u want this for your child? do u want your child to grow up believing that he/she is really that worthless? your child will be mad and/or sad when u leave this guy, but they're merely temporary emotions. in addition, if u love your child u won't care if he/she hates u, because u r making the right decision for his/her future. this is what u have to remember. u need to be strong for yourself and your child. u both deserve much more. stop letting this guy destroy u and your child. live! this guy is poison and u r dying a slow aggravating death with him. and, eventually he will also bring down your child (emotionally). he won't change. u can't make him change. he doesn't want to change himself. u need to leave. yes, it's hard to leave. yes, it's almost unbearable. but, u must and u will. u r strong enough and worth more than this. i wish u the best and i hope u find your path soon. follow the light. don't let the darkness consume u. my prayers r with u. Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted January 25, 2004 Share Posted January 25, 2004 I can't believe what I've just read! I can't say that I've experienced your pain, because I'm not stupid enough to put up with the s**t that you are willing to put up with! You want to know what I think? You know, if you accept this man back into your life and the relationship goes sour, it's gonna be all your fault -- it's not gonna be his, it's gonna be yours. I mean, you know that you're willing to put up with his crap, so if it doesn't work out, it must be because there is something wrong with you. You're just not giving him enough chances. So, just keep giving him chance after chance and maybe, after about 50 years, he'll get off of his a$$ and finally get a job and realize that he does want to marry you, without having this 18 year old little girl on the side! Good luck and let us know how it works out for you! With much love, ~Vivid Link to post Share on other sites
silk_sword Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 don't listen to vivid. his lack of tact is definately blatant! but, he is right that u can't stay with this guy. u need to move on and find what u deserve. let your soul soar to heaven. don't accept anything. go for everything and the promise (expectation) of more. lots of love! u deserve much love! Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 They're both right, Vivid and Silk. You deserve both brutal reality and reassuring poetry. Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by silk_sword don't listen to vivid. his lack of tact is definately blatant! Hold your tongue, little one! There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with my tact, you little brat. Remember -- I am everything that you don't want in a man and I won you over, didn't I????? ~V Link to post Share on other sites
silk_sword Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 oooooooooo vivid - y r u such a cocky ugggg!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by dyermaker They're both right, Vivid and Silk. You deserve both brutal reality and reassuring poetry. Thanks Dyer! By the way, I'm listening to 'Fool in the Rain' - Led Zep rocks!!! ~V Link to post Share on other sites
silk_sword Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 and by the way, who was really won here? someone looks a bit hooked!!! can't leave, because this is just too good. Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by silk_sword oooooooooo vivid - y r u such a cocky ugggg!!!!!!!!! You know you love the fact that I'm so stuck on myself!!! ~V Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 ...And I run in the rain 'till I'm breathless... I'm playing that on the guitar now. I was playing No Quarter, but I switched when you mentioned it. Link to post Share on other sites
silk_sword Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 dyer - u always have great comments or at least funny ones (as on other posts). Link to post Share on other sites
silk_sword Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 god u make me so angry vivid!!!! cool dyer, your playing right now? i love the guitar. can't wait to learn! Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by dyermaker ...And I run in the rain 'till I'm breathless... I'm playing that on the guitar now. I was playing No Quarter, but I switched when you mentioned it. ...and watch the people go shuffling downtown... ...just a fool standing on the wrong block... I've got the tablature transcription for that song. Pretty easy, eh? ~V Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by silk_sword god u make me so angry vivid!!!! That's good -- Builds character! ~V Link to post Share on other sites
silk_sword Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 ok how about u stay stuck on yourself. it's fun to be that way, with yourself - ALONE!!! hmm... yep that builds character alright! oh and btw - sex is a wonderful weapon for women. would u like to know how? Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by silk_sword hmm... yep that builds character alright! oh and btw - sex is a wonderful weapon for women. would u like to know how? Don't flatter yourself, little girl! We both know what's up. ~V Link to post Share on other sites
silk_sword Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 u! Link to post Share on other sites
silk_sword Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 - i need affection. i'm gonna get pouty! Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by silk_sword cool dyer, your playing right now? i love the guitar. can't wait to learn! Yeah I often play when I'm on the computer, I have a little mini-amp under my desk lol. I play sitting down because the first acoustic I owned didn't have a strap, so I got used to not being able to stand up with it. Good luck learning Viv, I play with tab, it's so much more convenient than notes. At first tab was hard, like I'd have to count and stuff, but it got easier, now I can look at a tab and pretty much play in time the first time I see it, it gets harder when the songs are approgegiated (how in the HELL do you spell that??) because you have to realize what the chords are intuitively or else it sounds choppy. I remember the first song I tried to play with tab was stairway, and it was each note, ignoring notes at once. When I saw someone else do it, I realized that I'd have to learn barre chords, and when I did, it sounded so much more fluid, and more stairwayesque. Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by silk_sword - i need affection. i'm gonna get pouty! 5 more hours, little one, and Daddy will be home! ~V Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by dyermaker Good luck learning Yeah, I've been playing on and off for about 15 years. All my stuff is at silk_swords house. She is teaching me the piano and I'm teaching her the guitar. Dyer, By the way -- Ever heard how some Led Zep made some conceptual songs to 'The Lord of the Rings'? Misty Mountain Hop - Possible Over the hills and far away - Possible Starway to heaven - Possible Battle of Evermore - DEFINATELY!!! ~V Link to post Share on other sites
silk_sword Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 let me get the cinnamon papi. dyer - how long have u been playing for? was it hard to learn? ever play for a band? (sorry - i pry too much!) Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts