stace79 Posted April 23, 2010 Share Posted April 23, 2010 My ex and I broke up October last year. We've been talking a lot lately and thinking about reconciling. We both know we have issues and need to see a counselor to work through them. We live seven hours apart right now, and he is somewhat isolated there from friends/family. (He's from my city originally.) In January-March, my ex was on a dating service and met several women off it. One woman he still hangs out with among a group of friends. She is into him, but he is not interested in her (according to him). Another woman was on the dating site just to meet people -- she has two kids and my ex hangs out with them at the beach some times. He says nothing romantic ever happened and he thinks she's a fun person to hang out with, plus he likes her son who is early teens. The last woman he had a date scheduled to spend the day at the zoo with her. He canceled it because he and I started talking again. However, she is his friend on facebook, and apparently she still calls and texts him. She invited him to get coffee this weekend, but he declined. I am very jealous and insecure about this situation. I have told him that I think I can grow to be comfortable with the first two women I wrote about, because he doesn't have interest in them romantically, he hangs out with them in groups (not alone on dates) and he has said he wants me to meet them both. The last woman I have an issue with because he has not even met her in person, so it's not like they're really even "friends" and his initial interest was a romantic one. He doesn't know her friends, so if they met it'd have to be one-on-one, which I'd view as a date. I think if he's working things out with me, he should not still pursue relationships -- friendship or otherwise -- with women he met off a dating site. Again, the first two women he seems to have already developed a friendship with, so I can sorta see how he'd want to be able to stay friends with them. He has been rather insistent that he has to be able to make new friends in his city, because he doesn't have that many. I think he also is just trying to hold on to his independence, unfortunately. I need some unbiased, rational logic from you LSers. I'm open to arguments for and against my opinions, but really want logical reasoning so that I can discuss this with him intelligently and not just being emotional. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted April 23, 2010 Share Posted April 23, 2010 I don't think I would want to go out with an ex again. If I did go out with an ex again I would expect all contact to end with these so called friends as soon as we made things official and started going out again. If it was a really great friendship which I doubt... I would say look invite them to your bday party or new years party, or we can go as a couple to their parties... but you are not having private txt, phone time, or hang outs with this person Link to post Share on other sites
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