heartburn Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 Maybe someone out there can give me some advice. I think I already have the answer, I just need someone who has experience pain and hurt from their mates to tell me I am doing the right thing. I have been living with this guy over 10 years. We share a child together. He never wanted to get married. I knew he always cheated on me. He use stay out all night and always gave some poor excuses. He never could keep a job, so I was the one financially supported the household, while he hang out with his friends and smoked MaryJane. He also over the years abused me. Well about a year ago, I got tired and put him out. I told him unless he change, we were never getting back together. This affected our child alot. So after nine months, for our child happiness, I asked him to move back in and get married. Knowing in my heart he was not ready for this. Well, this was a big mistake! The day before our scheduled wedding, he told me to cancel it, he did not want to do it. Which I did, I was not going to force him to do something he did not want to do. But instead I told him he had to move out, because I was not going to "shack" anymore. Hoping to work out our differences apart. He moved out and stayed with an older lady in the same apartment complex I was in. In a way, I was at ease because he was not living with me and we both agreed to focus on our relationship not living together. We still were sexually involved. About a week after this arrangement, he moved an 18 year old girl (he is 35) in with him and the older lady who was supporting him. His plan was to see us both at the same time. I found out his scheme. This hurted so much, because I thought, after the years we have been together, that he love me and our child enough to not bring another woman under our noses. Not this way, at least! Well, now he want me back! He has cried and beg me to take him back. He actually wants to get married. But check this out, he has no way of supporting himself. He has no JOB. And though, I love him alot; I am not letting him back into my life. He thinks that I am wrong and I should give him one more chance. What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
ojibwaywmn Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 Damn....that is awful. As hard as it may seem, you do not take him back. He is acting like a selfish child. Kicking and screaming until he gets what he wants. If you give in, it will show that behaving like a spoiled brat is okay. You have put up with so much, now start taking care of yourself and your child. We were not put on this Earth to be subjected to pain and abuse by other people and ourselves. You are so much more than that. You deserve so much more than that. Let him know that he has blown way too many chances and that life is easier without his garbage. Link to post Share on other sites
Steve2usa Posted January 21, 2004 Share Posted January 21, 2004 Ojibway is right on. You deserve better and your child deserves better. Move on without him because he is probably just playing head games with you and your heart. Chances are the older lady has thrown him out because she is tired of supporting his lazy ass and the young girl probably feels the same. If he is a good father, then by all means let him be, but thats it. If he really loves you and is really ready to commit to you, then he has a lot to prove by 1. get a job and 2. respect your feelings and honey that is not going to happen overnight. Chin up, because there is someone out there who will treat you the way you deserve to be. Steve Link to post Share on other sites
Author heartburn Posted January 21, 2004 Author Share Posted January 21, 2004 Thank you guys, alot. Great advice! Link to post Share on other sites
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