He hasn't done anything sweet.

[mai06]

Hi guys, So i've been talking to this guy for a year and we started dating six months ago and I think he's amazing he puts so much time talking to me and having conversations we talk every single day and we're not even in the same country. He comes down to visit me but now its been 3 months and I wont be seeing him until next month so it's quite a long time in between. I'm frustrated because I don't feel special. He ruined valentines because he got into a fight with me never sent me anything even flowers where as I sent him something for his bday and vday, now our six months is coming up this monday and he asks me today for my address again. I am so dissappointed, I thought I would feel special and he would send me something and surprise me and he has my address he just didnt look hard enough because after the convo I had saying I dont want anything he found it. It just sucks because I hate knowing im going to get it its not exciting or special because i'm expecting it. He uses the excuse "I'm so far to do something special" where as I surprised him by sending him things and he had NO clue it was from me until afterwards. I just feel like although he is amazing hes just not romantic and i'm now not putting importance on dates and things like that but I feel like something that i loved (getting surprised etc) i'm now trying to give up and it just doesn't feel right but it's not worth breaking up. Was I wrong to get upset that he never planned anything in advance and is doing everything last min.

[aerogurl87]

Does he do anything for you when you two are together? I ask because it seems to me like his idea of doing something sweet for you involves you two being in close proximity with one another.

[Deeblondie82]

Yea I know what you are saying to a point. I am seeing a guy who at first was treating me like we were in the "honneymoon" stage. Then he kinda stopped, I am waiting to meet him for the first time next weekend. See how he treats me and everything. Just hint things like " I love when you tell me this" or I love hearing those complements makes my day better" Just hint things..

[Ronni_W]

Was I wrong to get upset that he never planned anything in advance and is doing everything last min.

If you are dating a guy whose personality, style and preference is more in tune with doing things spontaneously or "last minute", then that is who you must accept you are dating...or cut bait now. Same, if he is not as "romantic" as what you want and need from your partner.

 

It is not appropriate to get upset just because other people do things differently than we do, or than we want them to do. It calls for acceptance of the differences, lacking which, you will just be always upset over how he does things and, ultimately, make both your lives miserable.

 

Whether or not it's an LDR, the dynamics are going to stay the same unless you change your expectations that he must conform to suit your personality's preference for planned events/"surprises".