Huge anxiety when someone doesn't respond to a text/e-mail/VM

[Ariadne]

I have huge issue with this. And yes in the past, most times I was dumped by a person stopping contact abruptly.

 

Tell me about it.

[Ariadne]

(And nowadays I don't expect anyone to respond anymore so I don't have a problem with this)

Edited April 28, 2010 by Ariadne

[amymarieca]

Yeah, even if he does respond later - non-immediate response signals that you are just not on his mind.

 

Or maybe he does things that involve him not sitting by the phone 24/7? I don't answer my phone all the time, and it doesn't mean I am not thinking about the other person.

[Phateless]

I have always had this problem. The more important the person is to me the worse it gets. But even with friends, I get anxious if i send a text and don't get a response in 30mins or so. I am somehow afraid that they are going to abandon me and that I will never hear from them again.

 

 

I wish I would just not care.

 

Do others feel like this?

 

I do, but only when it's someone I'm dating or really into. I've learned to cope and calm myself but it's very debilitating.

[CLC2008]

I used to... all the time. And then one day I realized there was a reason. I intuitively knew they WOULD, in fact, abandon me. In essence, it was about THEM, not me... and I had to learn how to be a better people picker, both in men and friends.

 

I don't have that anxiety whatsoever with BF, or with certain friends.

 

There is truth to this.

[ADF]

I think your response is pretty normal, and is a problem built into the technology itself.

 

If the last contact we have with someone comes in the form of a face-to-face conversation, or even a phone call, we don't tend to get anxious. We have a sense of what their mood or disposition was, and that helps make us feel secure.

 

With text messages, it is much more difficult to get a sense of what the person is feeling. When they don't answer right away, we immediately wonder of they are upset for some reason.

[Brady_to_Moss]

Geez..people txt me and i dont respond for days...or i may not even respond...its a txt chill out

[Slove01]

I have always had this problem. The more important the person is to me the worse it gets. But even with friends, I get anxious if i send a text and don't get a response in 30mins or so. I am somehow afraid that they are going to abandon me and that I will never hear from them again.

 

 

I wish I would just not care.

 

Do others feel like this?

 

Hey listen I use to feel the same way, every time I get a text, I have to reply.

 

Anyway I don't anymore, there is no ways around it. You can try positive affirmations they do work.

 

But you have to realize that, if you don't sometime peopel don't reply they are just busy. And the next time when your friend don't reply right away, just so "oh well..." and focus on something else. Find a hobby do or do something or call another friend, or whatever. just don't keep thinking about it.

[mixwell]

I think the only times I get a little anxious is if it is a girl I am very into and we send a few texts and then she doesn't reply right away I start thinking what the hell and I do still get that feeling but I usually just end it on that and talk to them via phone or email or whatever.. This girl in my scenario works an office job like myself so we usually email everyday and chat on the phone about every day.