Embarrassed of people thinking my boyfriend doesn't want to marry me

[Lauriebell82]

Bottom line Martha, you need to trust him. If he was saying something different when you ask him about marriage like "I'm not sure I'm ready" or "Maybe in a few years" I may think differently.

 

But I am living proof that you should trust the "you WILL be engaged" claim. My fiance said it multiple times to me last year when I was waitng for him to propose. And he did!!! Some guys just have to have all their ducks in row before proposing and want to make it very special. While I agree that sometimes that equates to leading their SO on, it also just shows how much they care.

 

Don't worry about other's reactions, they aren't in your relationship. I know lots of people in their 20's who have been together for many many years and aren't married yet. Like someone else said, it's 2010...lots of couples are waiting longer to get married nowadays.

 

Please hang in there..trust me on this one!!!

[soserious1]

Why would you be "embarrassed" by the truth? The fact is that your boyfriend doesn't want to marry you.The people who should be "embarrassed" here are the ones asking rude questions.

 

People who make comments about whether you're married or not are actually being nosy and intrusive.If two people are together for a long time and not married it's pretty obvious to anyone with half a brain that they are not married yet because one or the both of the couple doesn't wish to be. Nosy people who pry deserve answers that put them in their place and that discourage further prying.

 

"We aren't married because we don't want to be" end of discussion.

[Lauriebell82]

Why would you be "embarrassed" by the truth? The fact is that your boyfriend doesn't want to marry you.The people who should be "embarrassed" here are the ones asking rude questions.

 

People who make comments about whether you're married or not are actually being nosy and intrusive.If two people are together for a long time and not married it's pretty obvious to anyone with half a brain that they are not married yet because one or the both of the couple doesn't wish to be. Nosy people who pry deserve answers that put them in their place and that discourage further prying.

 

"We aren't married because we don't want to be" end of discussion.

 

Well, I don't think Martha actually even said that people make rude comments and ask why they aren't married. I think she is just ASSUMING that they are judging her relationship because of the surprise on the people's faces. A surprise reaction doesn't automatically mean that they are shocked or judging them both for not being married.

 

And in defense of her boyfriend, he hasn't actually SAID he doesn't want to be married or marry her. Like I said some men just are nervous and want to have everything in order before they chose to propose. Yes, 10 years is a long time but they were teenagers when they got together. I have seen many people get divorced ALREADY before age 30 because they got married too quick/too young.

 

A friend of mine recently got engaged after 7 years with her boyfriend. He told her he was nervous and scared. Some men just are. Honestly, I don't think this guy would have stuck with her for 10 years if he had no intention of marrying her one day.

 

We are forgetting that they are still young..if they were in their mid 30's or 40's it would be a different story. My boyfriend wasn't ready to propose until he was 27, maybe her boyfriend is just the same way.

 

Oh, edit, I just read that people ask when they will be getting married. While that is prying a little, I have to say just from my own experience that when you say you have been together for more then 2 years that comment always sneaks in. I always made a joke and said, "When my boyfriend proposes we will get married!"

Edited May 5, 2010 by Lauriebell82