Did I make a BIG mistake??? HELP!!!

[Allie]

I've been doing some internet dating (after being in a LTR 5+ years, I'm 31) and have met some really nice guys. I am trying to get comfortable with dating...

 

I'd like to meet nice guys to be friends with first, and would be happy if it turns into a relationship.

 

Alright. I went out on 3 or 4 dates this past month and I either shook hands with, gave a hug, or a hug and peck on the cheek. Whether they call or not, I am not worried. I'm not into getting hot and heavy right away. ;-)

 

However, last night, I got into some real trouble. This one was older than me (35) and very worldly. He touched my hand in what seemed like an innocent way, and I got all these weird feelings!!!!

 

We both live in the Bay Area, CA, but in different cities, so we met in SF (about 45 min drive for both of us)

 

Had some wine (I rarely drink), and was really relaxed and chatty. After dining and chatting at a restaurant until closing (8-12am), we went to leave. He was about to walk me to my car, then turned and kissed me! I just about fainted!

 

I think we must have stood there, on a busy street, kissing in PUBLIC! It gets worse... Please don't think I am a slut...I think we must have kissed in front of that restaurant for an hour! I said it was late, and it seemed like he resolved to drive me to my car. He helped me into the car, and I buckled up, and he leaned over and kissed me again! We kissed and kissed.

 

The next thing I knew, my underwear was off, and IT happened! IN THE CAR!!!! It was even later, that morning, and he said I looked tired to drive home (I was exhausted), so he called to get a room at a really nice hotel. He gave them a story that his secretary was supposed to have made reservations (he apologized to me beforehand for fibbing, and stated that this was the only way anyone was able to get a room in the world...) and got us a room.

 

Funny enough there were 2 double beds, as we were supposed to be on business travel...

 

This am, after having breakfast (on so little sleep, I was nto hungry), he drove me to my car, kissed me, and said 'I'll call you'.

 

Famous last words. I'm not going to hold my breath.

 

Did I just make a HUGE mistake by having sex with him so soon? I have never done this. I don't feel bad, or guilty, but I wonder if this relationship will definately go nowhere. Or should I not accept his call (IF he DOES call)...

 

Will he totally not respect me?

 

Please help!!!

[billy the kid]

please stop reading so much in to this so soon, and stop fretting over some thing you have no control over.. a few questions 1) did you have a nice time? 2) was he a gentleman? 3)did you get his # ? 4) if he doesn't call can you still go on?

 

so you went out and I guess had a good time, NO I don't think your a slut... you and everyone else here knows that s--t happens, to all of us.. so don't feel bad.. Now I really think that if he acted as a gentleman he will call. so relax and if he doesn't call, you still had a nice time, and if you did get his number you can always call him. It is really good to hear a nice story once in a while..

I've been doing some internet dating (after being in a LTR 5+ years, I'm 31) and have met some really nice guys. I am trying to get comfortable with dating... I'd like to meet nice guys to be friends with first, and would be happy if it turns into a relationship. Alright. I went out on 3 or 4 dates this past month and I either shook hands with, gave a hug, or a hug and peck on the cheek. Whether they call or not, I am not worried. I'm not into getting hot and heavy right away. ;-) However, last night, I got into some real trouble. This one was older than me (35) and very worldly. He touched my hand in what seemed like an innocent way, and I got all these weird feelings!!!!

 

We both live in the Bay Area, CA, but in different cities, so we met in SF (about 45 min drive for both of us) Had some wine (I rarely drink), and was really relaxed and chatty. After dining and chatting at a restaurant until closing (8-12am), we went to leave. He was about to walk me to my car, then turned and kissed me! I just about fainted! I think we must have stood there, on a busy street, kissing in PUBLIC! It gets worse... Please don't think I am a slut...I think we must have kissed in front of that restaurant for an hour! I said it was late, and it seemed like he resolved to drive me to my car. He helped me into the car, and I buckled up, and he leaned over and kissed me again! We kissed and kissed. The next thing I knew, my underwear was off, and IT happened! IN THE CAR!!!! It was even later, that morning, and he said I looked tired to drive home (I was exhausted), so he called to get a room at a really nice hotel. He gave them a story that his secretary was supposed to have made reservations (he apologized to me beforehand for fibbing, and stated that this was the only way anyone was able to get a room in the world...) and got us a room.

 

Funny enough there were 2 double beds, as we were supposed to be on business travel... This am, after having breakfast (on so little sleep, I was nto hungry), he drove me to my car, kissed me, and said 'I'll call you'. Famous last words. I'm not going to hold my breath. Did I just make a HUGE mistake by having sex with him so soon? I have never done this. I don't feel bad, or guilty, but I wonder if this relationship will definately go nowhere. Or should I not accept his call (IF he DOES call)... Will he totally not respect me? Please help!!!

[Tony T]

Sounds like you had a hell of a fun evening!!! Also sounds like you were a willing party, there was not force involved.

 

If he calls, let him know you enjoyed the evening and ask when you can get together again.

 

Next time, don't drink so much, make your own overnight arrangements if necessary, and don't worry so much.

 

Frankly, I really think you needed this experience. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone in advance but since it happened and nobody was hurt, it was great!!!

 

No, you didn't make a huge mistake. If this guy is Mr. Right, he is that regardless. And if he isn't, he has certainly broken you in well to the world of dating in the new millenium.

 

Some of the greatest experiences you will have in life are those that are spontaneous and fun.

[Allie]

Sounds like you had a hell of a fun evening!!! Also sounds like you were a willing party, there was not force involved. If he calls, let him know you enjoyed the evening and ask when you can get together again.

 

Next time, don't drink so much, make your own overnight arrangements if necessary, and don't worry so much. Frankly, I really think you needed this experience. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone in advance but since it happened and nobody was hurt, it was great!!! No, you didn't make a huge mistake. If this guy is Mr. Right, he is that regardless. And if he isn't, he has certainly broken you in well to the world of dating in the new millenium. Some of the greatest experiences you will have in life are those that are spontaneous and fun.

[Allie]

please stop reading so much in to this so soon, and stop fretting over some thing you have no control over.. a few questions

1) did you have a nice time?

 

I DID!!

 

2) was he a gentleman?

 

An absolute gentleman!

 

3)did you get his # ?

 

Yes.

 

4) if he doesn't call can you still go on?

 

LOL. I think so. I'm pretty much too tired to think right now.

 

Thanks for a guy's perspective!!! I appreciate it!!

 

Allie