MM left family for 2 days then went back to wife!

[vanilla chai]

It's so sad that you want to hurt others cause your hurt. May i suggest you finish your education and become something other than a crazy person. Oh yeah run now and get a therapist.

[katiecox]

Come on, do you really think an 18 month old baby will know anything about a video? I meant that it will go to the wife's family, and she will take it out on her husband, her kid with him, and it will tear the family apart.

 

I've seen that done to me as the child of a cheating man, and I felt helpless in the whole situation. My mother was humiliated and she took out her anger on me, ALOT. I took a long time to forgive her, I didn't deserve that, and I told myself I would Never do that to another person, ever.

 

Now that I'm put in this situation, I understand how the other person feels as well. A part of me just feels as if the BS should know what is going on, because it's only fair that I'm suffering, to be lied to and bullied all this way when I begged to be let off this roller coaster long ago.

 

Another part of me just woke up and decided I wasn't going to be like my mother, to keep taking some sh*thead back over and over again. It's done. And to make sure he won't come back? The pics and vids could just be an *accident*, oops, lost my phone it got leaked on the internet, whatever. Forward them the link. Pretend I'm the victim in this too. Obviously I've contemplated this over and over again.

 

The bottom line is whether I want to do this to the child and wife. When my anger subsides, I think not. But if he does come begging and pisses me off again, I'm not so sure I care if my hard drive and phone both go *missing* at the same time... I live near student housing and these guys are eager to share porn.

[bentnotbroken]

Come on, do you really think an 18 month old baby will know anything about a video? I meant that it will go to the wife's family, and she will take it out on her husband, her kid with him, and it will tear the family apart.

 

I've seen that done to me as the child of a cheating man, and I felt helpless in the whole situation. My mother was humiliated and she took out her anger on me, ALOT. I took a long time to forgive her, I didn't deserve that, and I told myself I would Never do that to another person, ever.

 

Now that I'm put in this situation, I understand how the other person feels as well. A part of me just feels as if the BS should know what is going on, because it's only fair that I'm suffering, to be lied to and bullied all this way when I begged to be let off this roller coaster long ago.

 

Another part of me just woke up and decided I wasn't going to be like my mother, to keep taking some sh*thead back over and over again. It's done. And to make sure he won't come back? The pics and vids could just be an *accident*, oops, lost my phone it got leaked on the internet, whatever. Forward them the link. Pretend I'm the victim in this too. Obviously I've contemplated this over and over again.

 

The bottom line is whether I want to do this to the child and wife. When my anger subsides, I think not. But if he does come begging and pisses me off again, I'm not so sure I care if my hard drive and phone both go *missing* at the same time... I live near student housing and these guys are eager to share porn.

 

 

You can be pretend to be a victim all you want, it won't make it true. You were a willing participant who was more than willing to ride that roller coaster. You bought the ticket, boarded the ride and made yourself comfortable. He is responsible for his lies, you are responsible listening. It is on you for not walking away. Go look in the mirror and look at the person who put you in this situation.

[silverfish]

Come on, do you really think an 18 month old baby will know anything about a video? I meant that it will go to the wife's family, and she will take it out on her husband, her kid with him, and it will tear the family apart.

 

I've seen that done to me as the child of a cheating man, and I felt helpless in the whole situation. My mother was humiliated and she took out her anger on me, ALOT. I took a long time to forgive her, I didn't deserve that, and I told myself I would Never do that to another person, ever.

 

Now that I'm put in this situation, I understand how the other person feels as well. A part of me just feels as if the BS should know what is going on, because it's only fair that I'm suffering, to be lied to and bullied all this way when I begged to be let off this roller coaster long ago.

 

Another part of me just woke up and decided I wasn't going to be like my mother, to keep taking some sh*thead back over and over again. It's done. And to make sure he won't come back? The pics and vids could just be an *accident*, oops, lost my phone it got leaked on the internet, whatever. Forward them the link. Pretend I'm the victim in this too. Obviously I've contemplated this over and over again.

 

The bottom line is whether I want to do this to the child and wife. When my anger subsides, I think not. But if he does come begging and pisses me off again, I'm not so sure I care if my hard drive and phone both go *missing* at the same time... I live near student housing and these guys are eager to share porn.

 

Katie, you aren't going to do any of this stuff, I get it, you're venting.

 

Can I ask you then - given the bolded part of your post...why are you hell bent on repeating history? He told you his wife was dead...are you a stupid person? You don't seem particularly stupid to me....so are your actions those of a stupid person? Maybe, at this moment in time...yes they are.

[2sunny]

you are your own actions. if you choose to be that way expect only to create what that world will be around you - in all aspects.

 

it won't be pretty for you - is that what you want? to go through life bitter and angry and resentful... spreading that everywhere you go?

 

congratulations - and welcome to your life you have created for yourself...

[2sunny]

because it's only fair

 

nothing is fair. know that for sure. now get over it and move forward.

[fooled once]

On our first date, he told me his wife DIED.

 

I later found out she's very much alive and they're very much married but it was too late, I fell in love.

 

I tried to break up with him about 5 times, each time, he comes back torn, telling me he loves me, we will work out, etc. I felt so sorry for him each time.

 

Finally, I got tired of being a secret, not being able to talk when I'm upset, just to say 'hi', whenever, so I threw an ultimatum. He told me to give him 3 weeks, which I did. Every day, he told me he would divorce his wife and there is 0% of him not separating. I told him to stay away unless he was sure. He said he was, and convinced me to have sex with him these 3 weeks.

 

Then on Friday, he told his wife he was leaving and wanted to separate. He drove up to my place all happy, and we spent 2 wonderful days waking up beside each other together. On Sunday, he went to his place to pick up the kid for swim lessons, and wife ambushed him with sister, mom, priest who married them, etc. Guilt-tripped him into staying cuz of baby, and blackmailed him with not being able to see child if he left. He drove over to break up with me and we drove over to his buddy's place. He cried in front of his buddy and I felt so sorry for his situation. Stuck with an overweight wife who is pulling the dirty to keep him! She even got all their mutual friends to call him and counsel him! Talk about washing dirty linens in public. I bet that has got to be humiliating when he realizes he's back in the ****hole.

 

He caved! He assumed that divorce would be easy but we were both naive. Now at last it's over. I have so much anger and wish I can send all our X-rated photos and videos to her place. I don't believe in karma and don't give a crap about that I will get in return.

 

I really hope he stays unhappy in his M bcuz he already told BW that he hates her, he finds no sexual attraction/satisfaction in her, etc. The relationship is already ruined in my opinion, and will only get worse with time.

 

Someone calm me down before I raise hell...

 

So because she is overweight, she doesn't deserve to be loved? Wait until life catches up to you. Her daughter is 18 months old, she could have thyroid issues, she could have other issues which are stopping her from losing the weight. But I guess that doesn't matter to you, right?

 

As for what he SAID happened, I don't believe it at all! How long have you been having an affair with a married man? How long between him telling you his wife is DEAD until you learned she wasn't dead? How can you even say you love a man who would claim such an outrageous lie? You obviously don't even KNOW him. Well, you do know he is a liar, but I guess as long as he only lies TO his wife and about his wife, then he is a good guy?

 

I don't believe there was any intervention and honestly, YOU HAVE NO IDEA if there was.

 

IF he really told his wife he wanted a divorce, do you have any idea how badly HER world crumbled? Do you even care? I mean, you want her to care that your feelings are hurt, but you seem to not care what you would be doing to her and her family - people who have never done one single thing to you. Oh, HE did, but you invited that in. You chose to continue to see him. You chose to have sex with him. YOU ALLOWED IT - you are NOT a victim so quit acting like you are!

 

This possibly counts as one of the most cruel and hurtful things I have ever read on LS.

 

I totally agree.

 

And sorry for the TJ, but please, for the love of God, would women please pass on to other women NOT to make sex videos with their partners! Do you know how many young women I see in my office trying to get an injunction against an ex-boyfriend from sharing a sex video? And how often that by the time they get to me it's already been distributed on the internet?

 

I know it sounds sexy, racy and a turn-on, but please quit doing it. Someday, you'll be a momma or an aunt or somebody's Godmother and the last thing you want is a child looking at you naked performing sexual acts. I've seen so many women personally devestated by these videos.

 

Okay, back to the regular programming of this thread...

 

I have never understood why people do this. To me, this is a stupid, immature, juvenile thing to do.

 

Come on, do you really think an 18 month old baby will know anything about a video? I meant that it will go to the wife's family, and she will take it out on her husband, her kid with him, and it will tear the family apart.

 

I've seen that done to me as the child of a cheating man, and I felt helpless in the whole situation. My mother was humiliated and she took out her anger on me, ALOT. I took a long time to forgive her, I didn't deserve that, and I told myself I would Never do that to another person, ever.

 

Now that I'm put in this situation, I understand how the other person feels as well. A part of me just feels as if the BS should know what is going on, because it's only fair that I'm suffering, to be lied to and bullied all this way when I begged to be let off this roller coaster long ago.

 

Another part of me just woke up and decided I wasn't going to be like my mother, to keep taking some sh*thead back over and over again. It's done. And to make sure he won't come back? The pics and vids could just be an *accident*, oops, lost my phone it got leaked on the internet, whatever. Forward them the link. Pretend I'm the victim in this too. Obviously I've contemplated this over and over again.

 

The bottom line is whether I want to do this to the child and wife. When my anger subsides, I think not. But if he does come begging and pisses me off again, I'm not so sure I care if my hard drive and phone both go *missing* at the same time... I live near student housing and these guys are eager to share porn.

 

So because your mother made a choice, to take your dad back, you are now deciding to exact revenge on a woman who is fighting for her marriage. What about your father? You saw what HIS cheating did to your mother, yet you got involved with a married guy.

 

You really need some intense counseling. You are showing signs of incredible cruelty and it isn't something to be proud of. I hope you get some help.

[Jilly Bean]

Katie - while I get your motive (to hurt his family), I don't see how sending sex videos of you is going to accomplish that.

 

His wife and family already know you exist, so it's not like you're letting them in on some secret.

 

If his wife took him back after knowing about you and the affair, she's not going to care at all about a sex video. She clearly already knows her husband has been having sex with you. You said yourself that your Mom took your cheating Dad back time and time again, so why do you think his marriage is any different?

 

So, your intention of ripping apart his family with a sex video isn't going to work, and probably will, like the other posters said, result in a restraining order and/or legal action against you.

 

Consider the risk/reward here. You have everything to lose, and nothing to gain.

[scatterd]

You both are the kind of people everyone loves.That understand weight could be from hormones,having kids.thyroid or such.Boy a good way to judge a person she should be running.Then that way you can take her place hope you dont gain weight or piss him off.Good luck to you both.You are such a loving unselfish and caring person.Have a lovely life .

Edited April 27, 2010 by scatterd

[Bootsie]

Katie.... this is the kind of action you WILL regret later on. It can very easily backfire. If you send them on to her, you have no control what she may do with them - do you really want your family, your colleagues, strangers you meet on the street... to see those?

 

Sure, you're angry - but you found out what kind of person she is, and what kind of person he is. Do you really want to be with a guy who could fold every time his BW pulled some stunt on him? He's shown you now that he will - would - does - has. You no longer have to live with that threat, and fear, hanging over your heads. The worst has happened. He's a wuss, she has no morals or compunction about exploiting that, and you're better off out of it.

 

If he contacts you again - and chances are he will, given the scenario you've sketched - you can tell him how very disappointed you are that his balls were just pin-on ones from the joke shop, but relieved that you found out before it really mattered. This could all have played out 6 months, a year after you'd been happily together, having built a new life together, thinking you'd made it... There are some stories here on LS that would shudder your weebles!

 

Enjoy your anger - but use it constructively. Don't do anything that could bite you more than it would bite him / them. I'm sorry this had a horrid ending for you.

 

 

Why the need to attack the man's wife like this (in bold above)? I see you often do it and also for the wife your own husband betrayed to be with you.

 

Is this allowed or do you sometimes get restricted for this?

[BlueeyedJonesy]

Happens all the time bootsie. and don't say anything. unless your an OW you'll be reported...double standard...thread jack end.

[norajane]

I've seen that done to me as the child of a cheating man, and I felt helpless in the whole situation. My mother was humiliated and she took out her anger on me, ALOT. I took a long time to forgive her, I didn't deserve that, and I told myself I would Never do that to another person, ever.

 

Now that I'm put in this situation, I understand how the other person feels as well. A part of me just feels as if the BS should know what is going on, because it's only fair that I'm suffering, to be lied to and bullied all this way when I begged to be let off this roller coaster long ago.

 

Another part of me just woke up and decided I wasn't going to be like my mother, to keep taking some sh*thead back over and over again.

 

I tried to break up with him about 5 times, each time, he comes back torn, telling me he loves me, we will work out, etc. I felt so sorry for him each time.

 

I threw an ultimatum. He told me to give him 3 weeks, which I did. Every day, he told me he would divorce his wife and there is 0% of him not separating. I told him to stay away unless he was sure. He said he was, and convinced me to have sex with him these 3 weeks.

 

He caved! He assumed that divorce would be easy but we were both naive. Now at last it's over. I have so much anger

Yes, I'll bet you do have a lot of anger.

 

Anger at your mother for taking your father back over and over instead of dumping him - and instead of protecting you from that life.

Anger at your mother for taking it out on you, a helpless child.

Anger at MM for treating you the same way your father treated his OW.

Anger at MM's wife for taking him back, for wanting him back, and for not protecting her daughter by kicking out this lying sack of sh*t of a father.

 

And it's all wrapped up with anger at YOURSELF taking this lying MM back over and over and over and not having the strength of mind and conviction of character to kick his ass to the curb as soon as you found out his wife was NOT DEAD. Anger at falling for his lies over and over. Anger at feeling helpless again and again, helpless to understand why you kept choosing to screw yourself over instead of choosing better for yourself. Anger that you chose to stay in this affair after finding out his wife was not dead, anger that you chose to take him back each and every time, and anger that you chose to accept that he did not choose to live up to his promises to you.

 

That's a lot of anger. At yourself. That's what you need to deal with in order to find peace.

 

Sending that DVD? It won't make you feel better for having a sh*tty father. It won't make you feel better for having a ****ty mother. It won't even make you feel better about this MM and the choices he's made. All it will do is make you feel even more helpless when you send it and realize nothing has changed - you still have to live with your anger at yourself.

[katiecox]

 

You really need some intense counseling. You are showing signs of incredible cruelty and it isn't something to be proud of. I hope you get some help.

 

 

You might be right. That, I'll admit. The cruelty shown by my mother to me on the situation was terrible, and I see that coming out in me. At this point, I don't really care who I hurt, because I'm already damaged at best.

 

I know first hand that anybody involved in this situation will ultimately hurt the kids, most. So if you're thinking of going on in an affair, think again. Whether you envision it beforehand or not, emotions manifest themselves in some way. At least I know I'm giving up on this hopeless situation.

 

I find this support group helpful. The sympathetic comments really calmed me down, whereas the hateful, judgmental ones seem to be egging me on to do it. I'm still struggling with what I want to do deep inside, and the morals that are holding me back.

 

Gotta go to work with swollen eyes now! bleah~

[RedDevil66]

Katie, think about the pain your Dad caused you. Now think about giving this same pain to another soul. If you can, then what you are is a sociopath and need some serious therapy.

If you cannot picture the pain for another to feel, then you're just angry.

 

Revenge is never sweet and karma is more powerful than anything you can do. Let the universe give him his lashings.

 

Please get some help.

[RedDevil66]

You might be right. That, I'll admit. The cruelty shown by my mother to me on the situation was terrible, and I see that coming out in me. At this point, I don't really care who I hurt, because I'm already damaged at best.

 

I know first hand that anybody involved in this situation will ultimately hurt the kids, most. So if you're thinking of going on in an affair, think again. Whether you envision it beforehand or not, emotions manifest themselves in some way. At least I know I'm giving up on this hopeless situation.

 

I find this support group helpful. The sympathetic comments really calmed me down, whereas the hateful, judgmental ones seem to be egging me on to do it. I'm still struggling with what I want to do deep inside, and the morals that are holding me back.

 

Gotta go to work with swollen eyes now! bleah~

Here's what you do, take your pain like a woman. You caused this pain, no one else caused it.

You do nothing but sit in your anger and work through it and then let it go.

You work at being a better person.

 

That's what you do

[califnan]

My father DID betray my mother, many times. She took him back every time.

 

I understood what it felt like to be a child growing up that that sh*t going around. So I know where it really bites.

 

Sorry if I am sadistic. There is a thin line where love turns to hate.

 

Sorry if I offended you all!

 

---------------------

 

I'm not offended Katie - I know you are just trying to talk out your anger and thoughts of betrayal and frustration - or you would have already sent it ..

 

Just take the responsibility for your part, and let it go .. The less said or done by you - the better, if you really wish for him to hurt ..

[xxoo]

Another part of me just woke up and decided I wasn't going to be like my mother, to keep taking some sh*thead back over and over again. It's done. And to make sure he won't come back? The pics and vids could just be an *accident*, oops, lost my phone it got leaked on the internet, whatever. Forward them the link. Pretend I'm the victim in this too. Obviously I've contemplated this over and over again.

 

For your own good...for your own POWER and healing...you need to take control of your own choices. No "oops" sending, no "oops" sex.

 

So what if he comes back? You don't have to speak to speak to him. You don't have to acknowledge him. Your silence is far more powerful than a spiteful attack. A spiteful attack makes you look weak; silence makes you look strong.

 

Katie, take control! Not of him, or his wife, or his kid...but of you.

[MizzBlue72]

Katie - do yourself a BIG HUGE favor ... step back and remember: you are 25!!!

If I could take back all the stupid **** I did when I was 25 - hell, I would pay ANYTHING for that!!!

 

You are a student - free, clear!!! Find a positive outlet for your anger. Go and meet other guys - hell - date like it's going out of season.

 

There are many things in a marriage that you may not understand yet - lots and lots of history. She did not blackmail him into staying - he is a grown man - he made that choice on his own.

 

If you want to hurt him - that is one thing, but I can promise you, unless you get over this anger - this will spread into every relationship you have the rest of your life. People make mistakes - he made a huge one. And yes - you fell in love. Look towards your friends - get a voodoo doll - hell - poke his EYES out!!!

 

Also - depending on what state you are in - some women can sue for I think lack of affection ... (guys - help me on this one - I can't remember what it is called) due to the OW. A woman sued the OW and WON 6 million dollars!!!!

 

Take out this anger in a different way - it's going to ruin your life. Good luck.

Please keep posting.

[whichwayisup]

You might be right. That, I'll admit. The cruelty shown by my mother to me on the situation was terrible, and I see that coming out in me. At this point, I don't really care who I hurt, because I'm already damaged at best.

Bull. You know right from wrong. You know it would be wrong to expose him, go with your plan. YOU KNOW THIS and I believe deep down there's something holding you back. Fear of karma, fear of consquences, fear of a COP showing up at your door, with a restraining order and papers in hand to be sued for harrassment. Imagine having to go to Court, explaining all this to a Judge.

 

I'm just saying YOU DO have a choice and it's not too late to change your mind.

 

You're an adult, sorry that you had a crappy upbringing and didn't have a good relationship with your parents, but it's not a justification to go purposely be malicous and damn right cruel to mess up someone else's life, 2 innocent life's. A CHILD, an innocent child who will find out one day. Let alone his wife...And their family, extended family, friends.. Don't do it.

 

Get help, fix yourself, fix the pain from your past so you can be free of it and live a happier and healthier life.

[Montclair0011]

katie - I have been in a simlar situation so I have some empathy for you. But, honestly, you need to grow up and get yourself a shrink to work out these tortuous thoughts. Do not send that video. Bad, bad, bad. Not good. The karma that you want to send will boomarang around to you.

 

As others in this thread have already said, you are 25 years old. Because of this I will excuse your ugly remarks about the wife and tendency to crave high drama (i.e. sending a dvd to the wife? Are you nuts?). You have your whole life in front of you. You can find lots of guys. You don't need this one. If you still think you do than see paragraph 1, sentence 2.

 

Believe me, I'm still pining away over a spineless man who crawled back to a wife that makes your guy's wife sound like Julia Roberts. This is what spineless men do, even semi-spinelss men. I let him go and I got on with my life. I'm still in great pain and it's been over a year, but I heal very slowly (I'm 2x 25). Still it's better than to have hung on or wasted time getting mad at the wife. The jerk here is the husband (said his wife was dead and it went downhill from there. A new low, usually they just claim to be divorced).

[pureinheart]

On our first date, he told me his wife DIED.

 

I later found out she's very much alive and they're very much married but it was too late, I fell in love.

 

I tried to break up with him about 5 times, each time, he comes back torn, telling me he loves me, we will work out, etc. I felt so sorry for him each time.

 

Finally, I got tired of being a secret, not being able to talk when I'm upset, just to say 'hi', whenever, so I threw an ultimatum. He told me to give him 3 weeks, which I did. Every day, he told me he would divorce his wife and there is 0% of him not separating. I told him to stay away unless he was sure. He said he was, and convinced me to have sex with him these 3 weeks.

 

Then on Friday, he told his wife he was leaving and wanted to separate. He drove up to my place all happy, and we spent 2 wonderful days waking up beside each other together. On Sunday, he went to his place to pick up the kid for swim lessons, and wife ambushed him with sister, mom, priest who married them, etc. Guilt-tripped him into staying cuz of baby, and blackmailed him with not being able to see child if he left. He drove over to break up with me and we drove over to his buddy's place. He cried in front of his buddy and I felt so sorry for his situation. Stuck with an overweight wife who is pulling the dirty to keep him! She even got all their mutual friends to call him and counsel him! Talk about washing dirty linens in public. I bet that has got to be humiliating when he realizes he's back in the ****hole.

 

He caved! He assumed that divorce would be easy but we were both naive. Now at last it's over. I have so much anger and wish I can send all our X-rated photos and videos to her place. I don't believe in karma and don't give a crap about that I will get in return.

 

I really hope he stays unhappy in his M bcuz he already told BW that he hates her, he finds no sexual attraction/satisfaction in her, etc. The relationship is already ruined in my opinion, and will only get worse with time.

 

Someone calm me down before I raise hell...

 

(Bold) No way....

 

Anyway I know your angry, I was a lot with exDM and it took everything I had ...well I'll just leave it at that. Like JW says...the best revenge it to have a happy life (paraphrasing)...don't waste good time and engry on revenge, thinking revenge, nothing.

 

Own your anger then let it go...jennie-jennie had a couple of threads on here a while back that REALLY helped me release my anger and walk in peace.

 

I really think we are more angry with ourselves for allowing ourselves to be deceived. I've come to terms with my entire situation...give it time, and try not to bypass any of the greiving processes...it'll get better, I can promise you that....(((((hugggssss))))

[bittersweet memories]

Bull. You know right from wrong. You know it would be wrong to expose him, go with your plan. YOU KNOW THIS and I believe deep down there's something holding you back. Fear of karma, fear of consquences, fear of a COP showing up at your door, with a restraining order and papers in hand to be sued for harrassment. Imagine having to go to Court, explaining all this to a Judge.

 

I'm just saying YOU DO have a choice and it's not too late to change your mind.

 

You're an adult, sorry that you had a crappy upbringing and didn't have a good relationship with your parents, but it's not a justification to go purposely be malicous and damn right cruel to mess up someone else's life, 2 innocent life's. A CHILD, an innocent child who will find out one day. Let alone his wife...And their family, extended family, friends.. Don't do it.

 

Get help, fix yourself, fix the pain from your past so you can be free of it and live a happier and healthier life.

 

 

This man has been expose already. His wife already knows about OW. He made his discission and OW can't deal with it. Get over it OW and move on.

[GaLwAyGiRL]

I think more than anything you are embarassed that he picked his family over you..and hearing your history, this makes alot of sense. You are directing your anger in the wrong direction. and why why WHY would you want a man who told you his wife was dead so he could get laid?? do you think he is going to have more respect for you?? absolutely not. he is no prize katie...quite the opposite. Don't you deserve an honest man? don't you deserve a man who can face his decisions like a real man? Don't waste your time getting revenge...your only going to cause more pain than you already have.(yes you knew he was married and you continued) so quit playing the victim..you are young and have so much life ahead of you..why waste it on a slime like this guy?

[katiecox]

This man has been expose already. His wife already knows about OW. He made his discission and OW can't deal with it. Get over it OW and move on.

 

 

BS does not know about me. I made it clear from the beginning if we wanted to start a life together afterwards, he should never mention that he had an extra-marital affair. It would shatter her self-esteem completely, and his kid will judge me as the home-wrecker one day. He told me he can't leave then asked me to be his girlfriend again. The fact that he asked me to be his gf again right after he texted that it's over really pissed me off.

 

OW can't deal with it? No, I've moved on. Even if his feelings were for real, I still want it to hurt. I believe in an eye for an eye, deal with it.

 

If this is so-called a "forum", then I believe I should be able to express how I feel completely. And this is how I feel. I take strength in knowing he's suffering, and that's how I move on.

[jthorne]

I take strength in knowing he's suffering, and that's how I move on.

I am very sorry you are hurting from this. You didn't deserve to be treated that way, but you must admit you played a part as well. You are not the victim here.

 

Have you reacted the same way in different situations? Has everyone that has wronged you needed to suffer? You're only 25. Trust me, you're going to be wronged a whole lot in your life before it's over. That's just life. Most healthy, emotionally mature people deal with it, hopefully learn from it, and move on. There have been tons of women on this site that have been treated FAR worse than you have. They have conducted themselves with dignity and intergrity. Perhaps you could learn from them.

 

You are really sad. If you don't change, you will end up a bitter old lady. Gaining strength from another's suffering does nothing to help you grow as a person and move on. I almost feel sorry for you. I hope you get some help. You desperately need it.