Awaiting 3rd draft of D papers......

[phineas]

I told her what I wanted.

Joint legal & psyhical custody of the children.

a 50/50 split.

 

Put that in writing & we don't go in front of a judge.

Since we have that now & have had that since we seperated last yr she will be hard pressed to get sole psyhical custody because the courts don't want to upset what currently works for the kids.

 

In exchange I voluntarily give her child support & don't create a legal battle neither of us can really afford.

 

1st draft should of just been a picture of me bent over with a chain-saw jammed in my ass & a dotted line underneath.

 

I sent it back.

 

2nd draft was joint legal custody with visitation rights. sigh.

Close but no cigar.

 

I sent it back along with a list of legal definitions of the many different types of custody in my state & circled which one I wanted.

 

She tried to claim the lawyers did it. Ok. but she is paying the lawyers. They do what she tells them.

 

She wants the divorce BADLY.

There is something going on with OM & she needs the divorce.

She told his family she was divorced & she isn't.

 

I'm not a lawyer, but i'm also not an idiot.

 

I just want to sign the papers & move on.

But not at the cost of loosing power over my children.

[floridapad]

If she is eager to be with OM then you are in a good position. She will give in if you slow the process down a bit. Don't be afraid to get exxactly what you want.

[phineas]

If she is eager to be with OM then you are in a good position. She will give in if you slow the process down a bit. Don't be afraid to get exxactly what you want.

 

Oh, i've realized this. Desperation though seems to be a better word.

She's said "Why won't you just let me go"

And has accused me of draging it out on purpose.

asked me what it will take for me to sign them.

 

I told her what I wanted.

 

All I want is a 50/50 split with the kids. Joint legal & psyical custody.

I do not want to see the words visitation anywhere near the agreement because we are sharing the kids.

 

I want her to agree that we part with what we had before the marriage (she has done this)

 

I don't think i'm asking for much at all.

Just equal rights when concerning my kids.

 

If she has sole custody she could actually move far enough away (but stay in the state) to make it impracticle for me to see my kids regularly.

 

with a 50/50 split she has to stay in the local area because she cannot upset the schedule.

[floridapad]

You are so right about her having the ability to move away and take the kids but I do believe you could put that clause into your divorce papers. I plan on putting that the children can not leave the county they currently live in. My friend did not and now the kids live 400 miles away and he has to pay for everything.

[phineas]

You are so right about her having the ability to move away and take the kids but I do believe you could put that clause into your divorce papers. I plan on putting that the children can not leave the county they currently live in. My friend did not and now the kids live 400 miles away and he has to pay for everything.

 

She says she is going to have a lawyers draw it up.

 

she can't go out of state with the kids period.

The law won't allow it.

 

I really don't see her moving out of the area either.

She could never get enough child support out of me legally to cover daycare.

 

Right now my family provides that 2 to 3 days a week.

[carhill]

The verbiage you're discussing is essentially boilerplate. The lawyer's paralegal could have it done in less than a day. Either the lawyer is incompetent, milking billing, or stbx is holding things up herself.

 

My guess is all three

[phineas]

The verbiage you're discussing is essentially boilerplate. The lawyer's paralegal could have it done in less than a day. Either the lawyer is incompetent, milking billing, or stbx is holding things up herself.

 

My guess is all three

 

I agree.

It's just less stressful to let her think I actually believe the para-legal made a mistake instead of calling her out for trying to pull fast one over me.

 

Last night she told me the para-legal was busy yesterday & couldn't draw it up but would do it today & wanted to make sure i'd sign as long as 50/50 on the kids & she didn't want anything from me was in there & I agree'd.

 

Today when she dropped off the kids she didn't even mention the paperwork.

 

When I get it, if ANYTHING else is changed or I see anymore sillyness we go to court.

 

For some reason she keeps severly underestimating my intelligence & I don't know why.

[phineas]

Ok,

I get both legal & psyical custody.

Primary residency.

 

In exchange,

No custody battle.

No court.

And I agree to pay her off monthly (err pay child support)

 

If I wanted to pay a lawyer & go to court the bottom line is i'd probably wind up pissing her off & paying more in child support & not be able to get primary residency because she has them one more night than me & that's how the courts look at it.

 

The things working in my favor is she wants it out of the courts because she's told the OM's very church going family that she is allready divorced & has been for a while.

 

OM knows she is married.

She needs divorce ASAP because I think she is moving in with him soon.

 

I sign today & then it's just waiting for the next step.

[carhill]

If you get legal and physical custody (you didn't mention 'joint' in this last post) why would you pay her child support? TBH, I'd structure it differently, to take advantage of the tax benefits of alimony, since it sounds like she needs blanket financial support, or do a cash settlement (e.g. write her a check). I recall a friend dangling some juicy stocks in front of his stbx and she bit, creating a huge tax nightmare for herself. She got bad financial advice. He did well in the end.

 

Anyway, if you haven't looked at all aspects (including tax ramifications) of a settlement offer, I'd suggest that. Sounds like you are getting what you want (the kids), so the rest is just business. It'll all work out

[phineas]

If you get legal and physical custody (you didn't mention 'joint' in this last post) why would you pay her child support? TBH, I'd structure it differently, to take advantage of the tax benefits of alimony, since it sounds like she needs blanket financial support, or do a cash settlement (e.g. write her a check). I recall a friend dangling some juicy stocks in front of his stbx and she bit, creating a huge tax nightmare for herself. She got bad financial advice. He did well in the end.

 

Anyway, if you haven't looked at all aspects (including tax ramifications) of a settlement offer, I'd suggest that. Sounds like you are getting what you want (the kids), so the rest is just business. It'll all work out

 

Sorry. I meant JOINT.

 

I'm not out to screw her.

Just walk away without loosing control over my kids.

 

I have to co-parent with her for the next 16 1/2 yrs.

I want this to be as un-pleasant as possible & just over.