Why would a girl rather be single?

[Mary3]

The immature women lie but the decent women tell the truth. If the woman cannot even say I DON'T FEEL THAT WAY, then you dodged a bullet by not ending up with her. You can walk away thanking your lucky star for your damage control. Because the liar has a damaged character and is to be pitied.

 

Have you ever said to a woman : "Wow your vagine stinks , your thighs have cottage cheese all over them and your breath smells like my dead uncle "

 

Ever said that before ?

[USMCHokie]

How can you judge somebody in 10 minutes and know if you'd want to date somebody?

 

 

Generally, physical attractiveness is what gets you in the door, and that hardly takes any time at all to judge. Personality and all the non-physical attributes are what keep you in the house.

[PutTheBlameOnMame]

I have to have romantic feelings in order to be with someone...other wise it's just weird.

[Peaceful Guy]

An interesting read on this subject matter is ladder theory.

 

that's the dumbest ****ing thing ever somedude! it looks like of of those oversimplified diagrams of how medicine goes in your mouth, travels strait down to your tummy, then spreads by way of arrow to the rest of your body. i really think you're too smart for this stuff, but you've been convinced that there's something wrong with you.. or something.. so you're willing to listen to people that are probably WAY clueless, they just claim/pretend with confidence to know what they're talking aboot.

[somedude81]

that's the dumbest ****ing thing ever somedude! it looks like of of those oversimplified diagrams of how medicine goes in your mouth, travels strait down to your tummy, then spreads by way of arrow to the rest of your body. i really think you're too smart for this stuff, but you've been convinced that there's something wrong with you.. or something.. so you're willing to listen to people that are probably WAY clueless, they just claim/pretend with confidence to know what they're talking aboot.

Since I have never had a friendship with a girl turn sexual, it's not something I can disprove.

 

Also since many women make up their minds and say that they will never change their feelings about a guy, that really sounds like more support for ladder theory.

 

Honestly I wish the theory was wrong, but so far I've seen nothing to the contrary.

[Peaceful Guy]

Since I have never had a friendship with a girl turn sexual, it's not something I can disprove.

 

Also since many women make up their minds and say that they will never change their feelings about a guy, that really sounds like more support for ladder theory.

 

Honestly I wish the theory was wrong, but so far I've seen nothing to the contrary.

 

its WAY oversimplifying things. you have to distinguish between what people say, as in, their boistrious or over rationalized ideas.. and the choices that people actually make. i think that what you may be missing is that YOU don't want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you. the way things can be is SO much better than just seeing something you want and getting it. i dunno.. i guess im confused by how you seem to be a very deep and thoughtful person, but at the same time judge the other half of our population by the ideas of the most shallow and thoughtless.. ?? whats up with that? do you see what i mean? and by the way, even though ive maybe been blunt, or harsh, or whatever.. i really am rooting for you here.. im kind of in a similar situation.. not always, but currently.. i guess i just get a lot of peace from reorganizing priorities and not trying to change myself for other people, and i feel like you might be the same.. am i way off here????

[Feelin Frisky]

Ugh, I don't understand women.

 

Why would a girl rather be single than to be with a guy who likes them. If she thinks the guy is at least cute, fun and knows he has common interests; why reject him just because she doesn't have romantic feelings right at that moment?

 

If a girl who was decent looking but I didn't have any feelings for, expressed an interest in me I would absolutely give her a shot. I think most guys would.

 

No one really wants to be single. She has stuff she ain't telling you and that means you ought to take a hint and split. There are so many reasons that are innocent as well as related to sexual preference. My uncle for instance looked like Pierce Brosnan when he was younger. He stayed single and didn't entertain women at all because he had been burned in a fire from his chest to his thighs in a fire in his youth. Might have even burned his prick off. Ya never know. And there comes a point where it's wrong to insist on having to know.

[threebyfate]

Why would a girl rather be single than to be with a guy who likes them. If she thinks the guy is at least cute, fun and knows he has common interests; why reject him just because she doesn't have romantic feelings right at that moment?

Haven't read the entire thread and am too lazy so I'm just going to answer this question. Why bother when there are plenty more fish in the ocean? No romantic feelings means no interest. Might as well be dating a friend and no, I don't believe in FWBs.

 

Being single is a lot of fun. You're free to date whomever you want and also, to do whatever you want!

 

Having said that, I wouldn't replace what I currently have, with singledom. Nothing beats a love marriage and expecting your first child.

[Peaceful Guy]

So in other words Love-marriage is better than being single and people can pepper being single with all sorts of candy sprinkles, but really....it sucks. Maybe when your a tween or 25....beyond that...it sucks.

 

We all just try to find an excuse to make it seem good.

 

well, sometimes it sucks.. but yeah, i agree. i would much rather be in a "love-marriage" (never seen that before, but i think i know what it means ) then a sexy swingin single..

[threebyfate]

So in other words Love-marriage is better than being single and people can pepper being single with all sorts of candy sprinkles, but really....it sucks. Maybe when your a tween or 25....beyond that...it sucks.

 

We all just try to find an excuse to make it seem good.

The moral to the story is to be happy in whatever situation you're in and if your situation doesn't make you happy, do something about it.

[Peaceful Guy]

The moral to the story is to be happy in whatever situation you're in and if your situation doesn't make you happy, do something about it.

 

ya! and doing something about it should make you happy well before you achieve your goals..

[DreamerGirl27]

Ugh, I don't understand women.

 

Why would a girl rather be single than to be with a guy who likes them. If she thinks the guy is at least cute, fun and knows he has common interests; why reject him just because she doesn't have romantic feelings right at that moment?

 

If a girl who was decent looking but I didn't have any feelings for, expressed an interest in me I would absolutely give her a shot. I think most guys would.

 

I'm going to give you my honest answer. Every guy that has shown interest in me, I have not been attracted to physically. That is mostly why. I get some REALLY ugly dudes after me. No offense to them, but I am WAY out of their league...I mean, I get, really...nerdy...looking guys sometimes. A couple of them I thought were really, really good and nice guys, though, and those guys weren't horrible, but still not a perfect 10 to me... so I went out with them because I thought they were really nice. I still don't think they are a perfect 10. That's not why it didn't work out, though. It didn't work out, because time went on and they wound up with other girls. They were a bit older than me and wanted more than I did, sooner than I did.

 

As for your second part, that is EXACTLY my point about the guy I am having issues with! I think I am most definitely a decent looking girl, and I have expressed an enormous amount of interest in this guy, and he's not even willing to give me a shot. Not even one. I have given guys shots that I didn't even have the slightest interest in.

 

One guy told me once that you should date people, even if you aren't interested and that you should give people a chance. Because it isn't nice to do otherwise. He really made me think. So, I took his advice and have lived by that philosophy. I'm finally getting to the point where I am done with that, because after this whole fiasco with this guy...he is not willing to give me a chance AT ALL.

 

I just find it really bizarre...it's like I have a gigantic wart on my nose and I am walking with a cane or something.

 

Honestly, I think it is him, not me. I think he has issues.

[underpants]

I'm retired.

 

It was a good run.

 

There are just so many times you can play games or be played, climb a ladder, or whatever else they call it before it just seems...repetitive and silly. My energy seems better spent in more productive areas.

 

Good for those who find what they are looking for.

[somedude81]

I'm going to give you my honest answer. Every guy that has shown interest in me, I have not been attracted to physically. That is mostly why.

That's a very interesting statement. What percentage of the general male population would you say is attractive? I'll make that a bit more manageable. I'm in a salsa class in my university and I believe that about 85% of the girls there are attractive. A couple of girls are flat out gorgeous, while the rest are cute in their own way, the so called, Average girls. A very small minority are fat and or ugly, below average.

 

Getting back to my point, do you consider the average man to be attractive? Meaning you can be attracted to him by his looks.

 

I have a theory that looks are important to girls when considering what guys to date. But the number of men that are actually attractive is very low. The vast majority of men are average Joe's, a very small population have model looks. While for women there is a much higher population of hot girls.

 

What ends up happening is that we have women who are single but interested in looks, who end up waiting till they find a guy that lights their fire. Eventually they grow up and settle for a guy who is good in other ways.

 

 

I get some REALLY ugly dudes after me. No offense to them, but I am WAY out of their league...I mean, I get, really...nerdy...looking guys sometimes. A couple of them I thought were really, really good and nice guys, though, and those guys weren't horrible, but still not a perfect 10 to me... so I went out with them because I thought they were really nice.

It's good to see that you at least gave those guys a chance. I wish more girls did that.

 

 

As for your second part, that is EXACTLY my point about the guy I am having issues with! I think I am most definitely a decent looking girl, and I have expressed an enormous amount of interest in this guy, and he's not even willing to give me a shot. Not even one. I have given guys shots that I didn't even have the slightest interest in.

I have two ideas. He didn't like something about you, personality, age etc. Or he is waiting till he can hook up with his version of a perfect 10.

 

 

One guy told me once that you should date people, even if you aren't interested and that you should give people a chance. Because it isn't nice to do otherwise. He really made me think. So, I took his advice and have lived by that philosophy. I'm finally getting to the point where I am done with that, because after this whole fiasco with this guy...he is not willing to give me a chance AT ALL.

 

I just find it really bizarre...it's like I have a gigantic wart on my nose and I am walking with a cane or something.

 

Honestly, I think it is him, not me. I think he has issues.

Was the guy who told you that, somebody who wanted to date you, and you initially said no, but he convinced you otherwise? I believe that's a good belief to have and I wish more women had it. It would cause girls to give average guys like me an actual shot.

 

I don't know how many girls have written me off because I'm a short white guy, 5'6, with upper middle class looks, without ever getting to know who I am.

[DreamerGirl27]

That's a very interesting statement. What percentage of the general male population would you say is attractive? I'll make that a bit more manageable. I'm in a salsa class in my university and I believe that about 85% of the girls there are attractive. A couple of girls are flat out gorgeous, while the rest are cute in their own way, the so called, Average girls. A very small minority are fat and or ugly, below average.

 

Getting back to my point, do you consider the average man to be attractive? Meaning you can be attracted to him by his looks.

 

I have a theory that looks are important to girls when considering what guys to date. But the number of men that are actually attractive is very low. The vast majority of men are average Joe's, a very small population have model looks. While for women there is a much higher population of hot girls.

 

What ends up happening is that we have women who are single but interested in looks, who end up waiting till they find a guy that lights their fire. Eventually they grow up and settle for a guy who is good in other ways.

 

 

It's good to see that you at least gave those guys a chance. I wish more girls did that.

 

 

I have two ideas. He didn't like something about you, personality, age etc. Or he is waiting till he can hook up with his version of a perfect 10.

 

 

Was the guy who told you that, somebody who wanted to date you, and you initially said no, but he convinced you otherwise? I believe that's a good belief to have and I wish more women had it. It would cause girls to give average guys like me an actual shot.

 

I don't know how many girls have written me off because I'm a short white guy, 5'6, with upper middle class looks, without ever getting to know who I am.

 

 

I'd say about maybe 5% of the male population is attractive. I'm sorry, but you are right. Girls are just prettier than guys. I see attractive girls EVERYWHERE and I'm not gay. LoL Guys...not so much. I have a certain "look" I like, too. Most guys don't have it, either. They did in the 60's and 70's, though. (I like guys with long, shaggy hair, lol)

 

The guy who was trying to convince me to give people a chance was trying to get me to go out with his friend. I did, and then eventually ended up going out with him years later. It didn't work out with either one of them.

 

As for the guy who doesn't like me. He told me last night he doesn't think we gel well together. I was crushed. I don't know what he means. I don't feel that way. He is very fickle and picky, though. He has told me this. I do feel like I got some sort of closure, though. I guess. It still sucks, though.

 

Height definitely plays a big part in girls liking you...but, this dude that I like now isn't super tall. He's just taller than me by a few inches. That's enough for me. I hear about really short girls wanting really tall guys and I am kind like, wha?!! lol I'm 5'6" myself, so you would be kinda short to me...but if you could find a 5'4" girl, I don't see the problem there. I kinda like small men. I don't like very big guys. The guy that I have been talking about is really skinny, not a muscly or big guy at all. When I stand next to him, I don't look up, it feels like I am just looking straight on. That is perfectly fine for me, so when a really short girl wants a really tall guy, that just baffles me. I kind of like things equal, with the guy maybe being only slightly bigger/taller. I am weird, though. haha (joking of course)

 

So anyway. I am not going to message him anymore unless he messages me first. It's over. He's made it clear. He doesn't want me. Technically, he should, because I am awesome (slight sarcasm here and slight joking, but being totally serious at the same time, if that makes any sense) and I don't want to date anyone for awhile because it is going to take me awhile to get over this.

 

He was attractive to me and I loved every difference we had and every similarity. I was just really interested in getting to know him and I liked him for him. I wasn't judging any of his interests or anything. He does do that, he flat out told me. I just don't think he has found a girl that he likes just for her yet. I found him and the feeling wasn't mutual. Sucks...but that is the way it goes.

 

I am just going to die a lonely old hermit with no family now. Because I won't "settle". Ever. I refuse. I'll give guys a shot. But if I don't like 'em, I don't like 'em. So anyway. I don't know if any of this helped. But that is just my long, drawn out sob story.