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I'm such a goof


ophelia

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Well, I've been out of the dating scene for a while and now I've met a really great guy after 8 months. I mean REALLY great. He's funny, smart, responsible, daring, sexy, attractive and we can talk up a storm and laugh our asses off together.

 

We've been dating for 2 months and things have been smooth as silk. He's a real talker and when he says he's going to do something, he does it. He's reliable, responsible, witty and an absolute GOD in the sack. We get along really well and we see each other a fair bit. But every time he leaves I feel odd. Sad? Fidgety? Anxious? Even after a great date.

 

Now, I've had some pretty crappy experiences in the past (as we all have) and I've done a lot of personal work as far as having a relationship goes. See, relationships for me used to be dramatic and too risky. This new situation is so exciting, and it feels calm at the same time. Yet, I find myself feeling a knot in my stomach after he leaves to go back to his place. We spend at least 2-3 days together a week. I love our time together and I love my time to myself too... but I am experiencing knots in my tummy and I can't sleep too well some nights after he leaves.

 

It's strange because I can't really pinpoint what this feeling is. I feel really good about "us" and so does he, ...he openly admitted this the other night. So why do I feel "fidgety" and sleepless when he leaves? I know that I often wish he'd stay another night (as we all do when you first meet someone) but I also feel relief that I can "get some work done" too. But, then I think about him a lot and feel knotty and fidgety. Argh!!! I'm a smart, level-headed, funny and hardworking gal. This feels strange and I feel the need to talk about it. I don't know what it is? Fear? Nervousness? I'm all stirred up! Whats it all about?

 

Help me calm down.

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This is just a guess based on a few short paragraphs of information. I could be way off base. But... you indicate that he is a "real talker" and doesn't spend the night as often as you'd like. Why not?

 

Maybe you need to ask him the obvious questions, and that's what's giving you these nagging feelings after he leaves. He's charming, fun and good in the sack -- but with how many others? If that's even remotely close to what's bothering you, please confront him. You have the right to know where you stand. Ask the questions you want answers to. Don't be afraid that you're going to lose him, or that your questions will drive him away -- if he's dating four other ladies, you're proably better off without him anyway.

 

This is totally based on personal experience. The one time I felt the way you are feeling now was the time I allowed myself to be blinded to really obvious signals that this guy had a girlfriend in Paris, another in Rome, and one in his same freaking apartment building, in addition to me. Blech! If you've given him your body, you have the right to know how many more he's taking.

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I'm going to disagree with Travelin Gal.

 

If you start worrying too much about this man you're going to drive him away. Take it easy and go with the flow and enjoy it now.

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