Re: is this crazy?

[Tony T]

1. "I dont understand his attitude at all, I mean, I would have been hurt if the suitation was reversed. Why wasn't he?"

 

At this point, he knows he cheated on you so he can't really say much about what you do, considering the two of you are broken up and you were also honest. The fact that you told him indicates you have an inappropriate connection with him at this time. Were you trying to make him jealous because there was no reason to clear your conscience. You did nothing wrong. I am sure he felt some different emotions when you told him but he's not about to tell you what they were.

 

2. "Ok, my question is how can he pour his feelings out to me, and then a week later, email this bimbo?"

 

People aren't easy to understand. But for the same reason that some married women read vulgar romance novels, men who are married or seeing someone can have a cyber fling with their computer screen and some typed words with no problem at all. It's all in the head. Right now, I can tell you you are the sexiest woman alive...and I am married...and my wife won't ever find out. The only thing missing is your response. Unless I spoke to your boyfriend at length, I wouldn't be able to tell if it was harmless or not but my guess is it was. This tells me that if you ever got back together, you would have to add some mystery and spice into the relationship. That is all he seeks in his love affair with his computer screen and his brain...and that's all it amounts to. By the way, it's probably better that he stores it all in his hard drive for you to see. Some of the greatest flings I have ever had took place in mind only, I mean Salma Hayek was terrific!!! I am very happy with my lady, for the record. Even President Jimmy Carter, in an interview with Playboy Magazine, admitted he has "lusted in my heart" for many women. (Our current president did a little of that too, depending on how you define "heart.") Most men just aren't honest about it, particularly with their ladies.

 

3. "Ok,,,so then on the dating side, there is a guy in my chem class who is always looking at me, and came over to chat with me really quickly yesterday. I would like (to)see this guy, but how do i get there?"

 

First, just walk up to him and continue your chat. Ask him if he would like to join you for a Coke after class. Ask him to a harmless campus event, such as a lecture, concert, etc. Ask him if he would like to study with you and then invite him to have a bite from there. Hey, you already know there's chemistry (class) between the two of you.

 

The core issues of your post, in your own words:

 

4. "...but I want this break-up to hurt him after all he put me through. I think deep down, that we have a somewhat good chance of getting back together down the road, but i am honestly not ready to go back now."

 

Yes, you want him to hurt. This is vengeance. But you want him back too, and really bad. You have to put him through some crap so he'll not do this again. Taking him back right away would send the wrong signal. You have to decide when these games will end. Then you can heal your relationship. Note: You and he will NEVER, EVER make it again unless you are able, forever, for all time, and until the end of the world forget and forgive his transgression. If you don't think you are capable of not thinking about it and not bringing it up to him in the future, go this very moment and never look back at him.

 

You are obviously very much in love with this guy. What you really want is to be with him. You would have preferred he had not been disloyal...but, lady, you fell in love with a flesh and blood, falible human being, not a robot. We all make mistakes, some big and some little. If you want to preserve your sanity and restore you happiness, get with him as soon as you feel the time is right and work this out. But don't forget, every single one of us makes mistakes.

 

5. "am i crazy?" Well, yes, a bit. But so am I and most everybody else, more a lot than a bit.