Slept with ex...what to do now!!!

[AMN819]

I did one of the WORST things I could do. I slept with my ex. I am still COMPLETELY in love with him...he wasn't ready for marriage/moving in together, so we split up.....the thing is, he has a girlfriend. It's not serious, but he's most likely not gonna tell her, so I DO feel guilty. I have NEVER been like that before. I just REALLY love him and want him back. What do I do??

[KS]

I think you've got to take it really slowly now. If you push too hard he's just going to stay with his g/f.

 

I'd stay suggestive, let him know that you might be interested in him but you're not bothered either way. And also show disdain to hi s current g/f.

[AMN819]

I know I can't push it...I DEFINATELY don't want him to feel like I am trying to push him right back to how it was before. I honestly learned SO much after losing him and I have changed a lot. I think the relationship would be 100times better now. At the same time, I don't want him to think I have turned into some ho and I am just gonna continue being his b*tch. He doesn't love his new girlfriend...his friend told me he definately doesn't have feelings (for her) remotely close to how he felt (or feels) about me. The thing that bothered me was that he didn't tell me he loves me yesterday...I didn't either, but I didn't want to push it. He just told me he missed me a lot. We hadn't talked in 6 months, so I was just happy being with him. I don't know how to handle the situation anymore

[heartburn]

If you did not have feelings for him, I would have told you to enjoy the sex. But you are letting your feeling get the way. If you pretend you are not paying him any attention and that he is the farest from your mind, watch him run back to you. Especially, when he thinks you are giving that 'good sex' to some-else. Catch what I am saying. You are not a HO. Men do it, hell we can do. Just a little better!

[KS]

Being a ho has got nothing to do with the number of people a woman has sex with.

 

It's to do with the way she comports herself.

[AMN819]

It's not that I consider myself a ho for sleeping with him...I consider myself a ho b/c he has a girlfriend.

 

I really love him and I want to be with him more than anything. I have been acting completely like it's just a fling....I don't FEEL like that, but I'll pretend! Yesterday I sent him a text message to see if he was busy and he said "yeah...I'll call you at 3". He called me from work and just acted like we were still in a relationship. Just talked to me about work and a fight with his roomate and what he did the night before. It was kinda weird.

 

Now, I just wonder...should I wait a few weeks and tell him how I really feel or just leave it be?

[sweetmind20]

granted,i can't really tell you what to do.. i don't know the type of guy your ex is.. but the fact that he cheated on his gf, is a sign that he is not too trustworthy. have you ever thought that he may just turn around and do the same thing to you if you two ever got back together?just something to think about.

[AMN819]

Honestly, yes..I have thought about that. I confronted him about the fact that me being with him would mean he is cheating on his girlfriend. He had told me prior to then, they weren't too serious. I don't know what to believe anymore. I just don't know if I should talk to him about how I feel or not!

[sweetmind20]

your ex said that it wasn't too serious? well, if the gf found out dont you think she would be hurt? of course. and you shouldn't fool yourself into thinking that he isn't having sex with her. look what happened after you two slept together... you got even more attached, right? i'm sure his current woman is in the same boat, only she doesn't know that he is out there lying to her.

if i were you, no matter how much i loved this person.. i would move on. yes, it hurts.. but answer yourself this. why did we break up in the first place? and if he truly wanted to be with you, or thought there was a chance to work things out,... he would have waited and worked on being friends with you and seeing where things went from there.. not hopping into some other girl's bed.. whom now he has the nerve to say he isn't serious about. i hate to break it to you,but it sounds like he's using you. he may very well still care for you, but it seems to me he isn't serious about either of you. he isn't serious enough to break it off with her to be with you and he isn't serous about her so he sleeps with you.. just think about all this..hope it helps. good luck.

[jmargel]

Originally posted by heartburn

If you did not have feelings for him, I would have told you to enjoy the sex. But you are letting your feeling get the way. If you pretend you are not paying him any attention and that he is the farest from your mind, watch him run back to you. Especially, when he thinks you are giving that 'good sex' to some-else. Catch what I am saying. You are not a HO. Men do it, hell we can do. Just a little better!

 

What kinda crap is that? Its women like you who give a good woman a bad name. This guy is a player, and if you were in her situation you would be falling for it.

 

This guy has the best of both worlds right now. Stop playing his head-games and move on. If he really wanted to be with you, he would have ended the relationship with his gf before sleeping with you.

 

Even getting back with him, the way you did. You aren't going to have any trust in him.

 

Heartburn, you make it seem like all men are players. When you assume & stereotype someone you are just making yourself look like a fool. You may have been hurt in a past relationship like everyone else on here, but at least they aren't judging the whole opposite sex based on an ex.

[AMN819]

I DO feel very much guilty for putting this girl at risk of getting hurt b/c I DO know how it feels to be cheated on. I don't know if he is serious with her or not...hopefully, I can TRY to move on...We'll have to see! Thanx!