Samari Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 when i was younger i had a lot of i don't know what you'd call it.. i'de go up to girls more often and just go for it.. i guess nowadays i let my butterflies get the better of me! but.. really.. i've found that once i know a few people in a room it gets easier. for instance, if you know 8 people in a group of 9.. its easy to talk to the 1 you don't know.. but if you know 1 or 0 people in a group of 9.. its tough. i like to talk to people (usually guys) about nerd stuff, whatever.. before i go talk to others that aren't as immediately easy to talk to, such as beautiful women! and actually, that's good practice for other guys that get overwhelmed in new social situations.. start with what makes you comfortable, and then branch out. As long as you know one person I think you're "okay". Even if it's a large group. That way if you get in a conversation with someone at least you can say something along the lines of "Oh well I came with so and so..." which can serve as a little bit of a spring board if you're conversing with someone.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Details, details. The mall idea sounds like a good one. Ok: here's a tried and true way to meet women (or men). Buy a golden retriever puppy and take him to the coffee shop. It cant miss I actually recommend a really cute kitten for the guys I think more women dig baby cats then dogs!
Author Peaceful Guy Posted May 1, 2010 Author Posted May 1, 2010 Buy a golden retriever puppy and take him to the coffee shop. It cant miss oh.. yeah.. i tried that one.. it worked for a while but he kept wanting food and water and stuff.. he was a real bummer! kidding.. of course!
Author Peaceful Guy Posted May 1, 2010 Author Posted May 1, 2010 I actually recommend a really cute kitten for the guys I think more women dig baby cats then dogs! how bout a half puppy half kitty that never gets old and is always sleepy?
Author Peaceful Guy Posted May 1, 2010 Author Posted May 1, 2010 See? just look at how safe it is!! okay.. well.. i see what you're saying. i do take risks.. i do snowboarding and wakeboarding and skateboarding and jet skiing and stuff.. but sky diving ive decided is just not for me.. but hey, if you ever need to, you can drop by my house for some lemonade or something.. "really peaceful guy? puns?"
Author Peaceful Guy Posted May 1, 2010 Author Posted May 1, 2010 As long as you know one person I think you're "okay". Even if it's a large group. That way if you get in a conversation with someone at least you can say something along the lines of "Oh well I came with so and so..." which can serve as a little bit of a spring board if you're conversing with someone. i agree.. that ties in with the b-day party one.. i did that a few years ago and was comfortable.
Author Peaceful Guy Posted May 1, 2010 Author Posted May 1, 2010 Anyhoo to answer the ops original question I say at malls/shopping thats were I met my current partner.. oh.. how'd you pull that one off? did she catch your eye and you went and talked to her?? daring.. :)
SpanksTheMonkey Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 oh.. how'd you pull that one off? did she catch your eye and you went and talked to her?? daring.. :) Actually yea but it was HIM who caut my eye I know the name is deceiving but I'm a female lol.. I saw him and took a chance it payed off were going on one year now and things look very good for the future
Author Peaceful Guy Posted May 2, 2010 Author Posted May 2, 2010 I saw him and took a chance it payed off were going on one year now and things look very good for the future very cool..
Author Peaceful Guy Posted May 2, 2010 Author Posted May 2, 2010 I met one of my good friends in an elevator that's great! just guessing here, but i bet you two are silly!
littleka Posted May 8, 2010 Posted May 8, 2010 All great advice people but what if you're "new in town" how do you get started? I've tried community college but all the people I've met are twice my age, married with children. Not that they are bad people at all. We usually have great conversations during break but they aren't just willing to go out on weekends for drinks and a movie you know. We are not in the same level in life. I'm thinking about starting a language class in the summer but in the meantime how the hell do I deal with the loneliness? If only I was brave enough to sky dive.
skydiveaddict Posted May 8, 2010 Posted May 8, 2010 If only I was brave enough to sky dive. You dont need to be brave. Your first jump will tandem, you will be buckled to an instructor. He'll pull all the right cords at the right time. you can just enjoy the ride
alphamale Posted May 8, 2010 Posted May 8, 2010 i would try the special interest groups on teh internet
ADF Posted May 8, 2010 Posted May 8, 2010 It is often best to meet people through shared interests and activities. It doesn't matter what the activity is; it can be anything from judo lessons to a book club. Just whatever you're into. People in these situations are usually friendlier and less guarded than they might be at a bar or a club. Plus, you already know you have at least one interest in common. BTW, in my opinion, dance club are actually pretty lousy places to meet people. Most clubs are not happy place. The vibe at most clubs is nasty, competitive, belligerant, and occasionally violent. These places are full of horny, drunk men trying to act like bad-asses in front of women. Fights are frequent and can get vicious. Women in these places know many of the men are on their worst behavior, and are especially cautious and difficult to talk to.
Author Peaceful Guy Posted May 8, 2010 Author Posted May 8, 2010 BTW, in my opinion, dance club are actually pretty lousy places to meet people. Most clubs are not happy place. The vibe at most clubs is nasty, competitive, belligerant, and occasionally violent. These places are full of horny, drunk men trying to act like bad-asses in front of women. Fights are frequent and can get vicious. Women in these places know many of the men are on their worst behavior, and are especially cautious and difficult to talk to. i agree! It is often best to meet people through shared interests and activities. It doesn't matter what the activity is; it can be anything from judo lessons to a book club. Just whatever you're into. People in these situations are usually friendlier and less guarded than they might be at a bar or a club. Plus, you already know you have at least one interest in common. i think this is true, and what i need to gravitate towards. thanks.
Tim The Enchanter Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 All great advice people but what if you're "new in town" how do you get started? I've tried community college but all the people I've met are twice my age, married with children. Not that they are bad people at all. We usually have great conversations during break but they aren't just willing to go out on weekends for drinks and a movie you know. We are not in the same level in life. I'm thinking about starting a language class in the summer but in the meantime how the hell do I deal with the loneliness? If only I was brave enough to sky dive. If it's of any comfort, you're far from alone in this situation. I'm not even 'new' to my city - I've been here for almost three years now. I've tried all kinds of things for meeting new people, but have only had very limited success. The most social thing I did was martial arts, but I mostly met guys. I did make a few good friends from that, but no potential girlfriends. I've tried volunteering, language classes and meditation. I'm running out of options! I'm thinking about going back to language classes, but I think my chances of meeting someone that way are slim. I don't know. Being at school, college or university made it seem that making friends was a piece of cake. I'm in my thirties now and it's like the hardest thing in the world. If it wasn't for internet dating, I probably would have been single and celibate for decades.
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