Shyness

[Thin Lizzy!]

I would like to ask a girl out, or even talk to them the problem is that I can't. I have nothing to say and think that if I do say something that it will not only embarass me but also anger the person that I am talking to. So what should I do? Continue to live like a hermit?

 

-Thanks

[Tony T]

Take your problem, multiply it a thousand times, and that was me in my younger days.

 

In collge, I fell so madly in love with one girl (and I know she loved me too because I was the most coy man on campus) that everytime she came near my heart would pound out of my chest and I could hardly stand up.

 

The girls had no idea I was terrified, they thought I was just coy and aloof and, unknown to me, many were dying for me to ask them out as a result. Women love men who seem to be difficult to get.

 

In later years, I looked back and realized that the ladies had the same problem...felt the same way. Many ladies get very nervous and shy around guys they like and some even say no to a date request when they had been dying to say yes...just because they are so shocked and nervous.

 

The answer to your problem is to realize that ladies are just as human as you. Some will really want to go out with you and some won't. That's OK.

 

For starters, you may be a lot more confident making some lady buddies that you would not consider dating and hanging with them and just being friend (and whatever you do, don't fall in love with any of them...that's a whole other problem). Through them, you will meet other girls in the course of your friendship that you will feel much more comfortable asking out.

 

Do it a few times and each time you will feel better and it will get easier.

 

These days, many ladies ask guys out. You should run into one of those situations soon and be sure to say YES.

 

Another great way to get a date without going through the tension of asking is to join a dating service and have the girls pick you. Many times, the dating service does all the arranging. You just pick the girl up and meet her at a prearranged location. You could put an ad in a local paper and specify right off that you are shy. There are girls who absolutely LOVE shy guys.

 

The more I write, the more I really don't think you have a problem at all. Get to work!!!

[billy the kid]

sorry I didn't read tony's post (limited time) but hey what do you have to loose??1) she can say "no"/. what did you loose? 2) she can say yes. so what did you gain? when you meet some one and you are attracted to them ask them out what do you have to loose?? I mean really?? I would be more worried about taking her out and spending all that hard earned cash just to find out she wasn't the one... I've done that too, not to say we didn't have a good time. so ask, spend the money and have fun.. If it's not the one you will still have fun.. why make life a pain.. injoy every minute and never be sorry unless you've done something sorry..

I would like to ask a girl out, or even talk to them the problem is that I can't. I have nothing to say and think that if I do say something that it will not only embarass me but also anger the person that I am talking to. So what should I do? Continue to live like a hermit? -Thanks

[lonestar]

I would like to ask a girl out, or even talk

to them the problem is that I can't. I have nothing to say and think that if I do say something that it will not only embarass me but also anger the person that I am talking to. So what should I do? Continue to live like a hermit? -Thanks

 

Eh shy guy, you know, I have the same problem, I'm kinda shy myself and i shy away from talking to the really pretty ones. i know how you feel cause i have the same problem, i hate rejection - especially from a woman. but you know what you've got to play the game - its all a game. be friendly and jokingly ask them out and if they reject you tell them it was all a joke in the first place. ha! don't live like a hermit - i'm talking to myself as well.