I'm not sure how I feel about her...

[pandora's_labrynth]

i posted this in yahoo answers until i discovered this board so i'll just copy and paste. the friend who i'm talking about was just a friend who trapped me in the friend zone, and i didn't want that but now it changed. here's my story:

 

 

so i met this girl, a friend of a friend and we started hanging out with eachother and i thought she was cute and i wanted to start a fling with her. the problem was that she is insanely obsessed over an aquaintance of mine to the point where it creeped out all her friends, and i started to feel sympathy for her. i became a good friend who she confided in, and i even told her i had feelings for her but she said there was an intense feeling missing between the both of us. i simply liked her and wanted to go out with her. she also happens to be promiscious, at least used to be. being around her showed me a different point of view since everyone around me warned me that shes crazy. the problem was through all of this it took me 3 months to realize that all of it was fake, or so i thought. i managed to save the friendship between a close friend of mine because i was seeing this girl so much that it was affecting my friendship with my friend who i care about, and she started to not like the fact that i was spending so much time with this girl. i stopped talking to this girl for a month and i even stopped liking her, yet i did a video drawing of this girl because it inspired me to do a piece about her mind which i thought was fascinating because i never met someone like this before. i feel bad for doing it but i started to wonder if i myself am obsessed with her.

 

a week ago i texted her late at night, cause i was drunk, and i ended up going over to her house after not seeing her for a month. the day after, we started to get intimate but never had sex, but we came to the agreement that it would mean nothing. the thing is, we were drinking so we were intentionally going to have sex, but we never did cause she had to stop, but we did do other stuff. i asked her if we could continue some other time, and she agreed. next day she tells me she cant cause she wants to tell this guy she loves him and she doesnt want to get intimate (her word) with anyone she doesnt love. i told her ok. the thing is, shes been obsessed with this guy since the end of '08, and they had a fling that ended 6 months ago.

 

i finally talked to him about it and he told me everything, that hes sick of her, that when he slept with her he had to do it really trashed, etc. he wanted her to leave him alone since she would txt him an insanely amount of times. he was thinking of getting a restraining order. he told me to help him get rid of her. i told him i cant do that cause she doesnt have any feelings for me but he begged me to talk to her, even though he already talked to her and she still doesnt leave him alone. so i told her what he told me and i never shouldve gotten involved in it. she wants to talk to him to go off on him and end their supposed friendship (they go to the same school).

 

now my problem is that i shouldnt have gotten involved in any way, and hanging out with her has made me feel bad for her. i find myself thinking about her more and started to think that maybe shes not that crazy, and that im a jerk for judging her. the night we shared was great but i know it meant nothing, and we know that. she constantly tells me that she doesnt have feelings for me and that she loves me as a friend. and i get annoyed cause i already know that but she keeps telling me over and over, like to remind me.

 

i talked to my friend about it and she says i should stay away immediately. im gonna try and do that but i cant help but secretly wish that this girl falls for me cause i would treat her so well and i can handle her, but i know that'll never happend. i know i dont love her, i may like her a little bit, i think about her constantly and feel odd knowing that i cant be with her. i didnt have that problem when i didnt see her for a month. but now, i feel anxiety, like i have to see her, and when i do i feel better, and secretly hope that she opens her eyes and sees that ive been there for her and listened to all her problems. but i feel like i dont deserve it because in turn ive become obsessed with her, but in a private way. i dont txt her alot or anything. but i think about her and feel good when im around her, and when im not, i hate to say it but my heart aches. i know i could make her life so much simpler, but i cant force her to feel a way that she doesnt. what i mean by making her life simple is by actually showing her appreciation and always being there for her. i do those things or i used to do them, which is why she thinks im a great guy yet, she feels nothing. she doesnt know alot about me cause she talks about herself alot but i sometimes feel that if she knew everything, it wouldnt change anything so i try and be mysterious around her. now through all of this, i've become the crazy one. she was mad at me earlier because i was giving her vague but truthful answers as to why i stopped hanging out with her. she started to question why i talk to her and why she talks to me.

 

 

apologies for the lengthy post