LDR question

[feelingtorn]

Hi, I am a 33-year old female who currently lives with a boyfriend. My boyfriend is 27-year old and recently has been accepted to a graduate school in midwest. We now live in northwest.

 

I have a master's degree and have a job/a condo. I like my life and have no desire to move to midwest, especially a small town in Midwest. I lived in a small town once for my graduate study and experienced lots of racism and difficulty of finding essential amendities for asian people.

 

We have been together a little more than a year. We have lots in common and much in love. He is scheduled to move to midwest in 3 months.

 

Here is my big question. Should we give a try to LDR? I am financially comfortable and have no clock ticking. To be more specific, I have no desire to have babies. I think I can handle two years of waiting, but the problem is he wants to move another state for his Phd. It means a total of 6 or more years. I think this is too much, espcially for two people who have been dating a little more than a year. I also have some doubts about him mainly because of our age gap. I have realized that I do not want any money from men, but also do not want to pay money to men. My bf is younger and expects financial help from me. For example, he now lives with me without paying any rent. It is fine for now, but when he invites me to move with him, it implies that I support him finanically. I do not have any desire to have babies, including him.

 

I think I am going to tell him gently that I am no longer interested in staying in the relationship with him right before his move. Ok, I've just realized that I answered my own question above. Do you think I am making the right decision?

[Els]

If your only concern is financing him, you might want to talk to him about that before making any decisions.

 

However, it seems like that isn't your only concern. In that case, yes, it would be wiser to break things off.

[Deeblondie82]

You Need to follow what you feel. Staying in a LDR is tough and if you dont want to have that family life yet.. Do what is best for your life and his

[Spygurl]

Yup. i think you are making the best choice for you. you sound like a smart, stable, and mature woman who has thought this thru carefully. I would not continue an LDR for an indefinite amount of time or move with him to financially support someone who is not your obligation. You will just end up resenting him. I am currently in an LDR (for a year now), and am making plans to move, but will continue my independent lifestyle. I have a great job offer there and he is under no pressure to support me, although he has offered. I wish you the best. Always take care of yourself first, because in my experience, no one else will do it for you.

 

Good luck.