Wolvesbaned Posted January 22, 2004 Share Posted January 22, 2004 I feel highly cynical about love right now and want to know why you do it? Why do you continue trying? For those of you who are going through a rough time right now with your marriage, why do you continue trying? Besides the keeping the sanctity of marriage, "for better/worse"? Are you just hoping it's a momentary brain-freeze? Do you want and expect the same diligence and patience from her/him? If so, can you see yourself knowingly putting your love through the pain you're going through now? Thanks guys, I just want to know why you do it? Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted January 22, 2004 Share Posted January 22, 2004 i am not married, but it would be the more tactful thing to do-to try to work things out with the SO. i mean you did commit to marriage..and maybe it will not work after counseling or what ever steps that are taken to save the marriage, but i do not think it is something that you should give up lightly on. won't it hurt just about as much just to turn your back on this person that you love, or once loved? Link to post Share on other sites
doniker Posted January 22, 2004 Share Posted January 22, 2004 I am married and not that happy. but where else am I going to go? We have a young daughter, I am just going to walk out on her? I've worked hard to buy my house, truck, cars, what I am going to just leave and live in some apartment and have more bills to pay? And only see my kid part time? What else is out there, maybe another woman with a different set of problems and hang ups? that's why I stay and suffer in my current marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 22, 2004 Share Posted January 22, 2004 When I was a little boy, I kept hearing adult voices saying of the opposite sex, "You can't live with them and you can't live without them." As an adult, I fully understand what they meant. After studying the syndrome for a time, I have come to find that it's quite true. There are times when things will be great...and times when they won't. Everything has a season. It's all in your attitude and how you look at things. The people who seem to have the most success in relationships are the people who communicate well and who don't have unreasonable expectations. The minute you start thinking a relationship is going to end all of your problems and make everyday of your life exciting and wonderful, you are dead meat. Begin to have the attitude that you're going to be happy regardless and let no person stand in your way of that. If you're with a mate who wants to do that, see an attorney. Otherwise, enjoy every moment just as it comes and have fun...even if you're in the midst of battle. Dead people aren't so lucky. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wolvesbaned Posted January 22, 2004 Author Share Posted January 22, 2004 To repond to my own question, this is why I do it: 1) I do think it's a momentary brain-freeze. 2) I believe love is worth fighting for. 3) I take marriage seriously. 4) I love him. I used to believe that if you love someone you just wouldn't or try to avoid hurting them. But we're human, and no matter how super-aware we may think we are about these things, life happens. As for marriage, I feel that a lot of people overly use it as the only excuse because they can not live with the negative stigma of being in a "failed marriage". Love is forgiveness and patience. But when do you know you are compromising too much? *BTW Thanks for all you responses. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted January 22, 2004 Share Posted January 22, 2004 why do you continue trying? because hope springs eternal But when do you know you are compromising too much? when my first instinct is to choke the snot out of him because he's (or I am) being too pig-headed to come up with a solution that works for both of us. honestly, it's easy to identify the whole of a relationship by its high points or low spots, rather than look at it overall. sure, there are going to be some trade-offs or compromises throughout the duration of that relationship, but to me that shows a person is willing to die of self for that relationship to survive. there just isn't anyone else I can imagine who could do some of the things my DH does (good or annoying) and I still find it okay. Link to post Share on other sites
niko1999 Posted January 22, 2004 Share Posted January 22, 2004 Becuase anything worthwhile is something that has to be worked for. Its worthwhile, it has hard patches, and sometimes the good patches have to be worked for. Did I make any sense at all? My brain is fried today Link to post Share on other sites
AprilFool Posted January 23, 2004 Share Posted January 23, 2004 Mostly because I promised God for better or worse. Secondly, I don't like the thought of how humiliated I would feel for having a failed marriage after such a short time. Because when I get two miles down the road, I start to realize that I'm heading for the life I lived BEFORE I got married, and realize that even when it's the worst it's ever been, it's still a LOOOOOOT better than what I came from. I say to myself, "Well, so he does this....at least he doesn't do that!" I hope it will get better. I just like having a husband Albeit a lousy one sometimes Link to post Share on other sites
VivianLee Posted January 23, 2004 Share Posted January 23, 2004 I don't know.... Link to post Share on other sites
animo Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Well i am sorta happy with my marriage. My only concern is that my sexlife is just horribly frustrating. I keep hoping that it will change, that my wife will feel like having sex again or that i will stop wanting to make love to her. I think that in the end nothing will get better... But i keep on going because i love my wife very much...and i feel that other then my sexlife i am pretty happy with my marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
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