janie423 Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Exactly. When they made plans he would have buckled her down for a day and time. You guys are crazy if you don't think it's shady he hasn't specified a time with her up to a DAY til they're supposed to meet? Girl, if you're smart- you'll tell him "Oh! I would have loved to meet with you, but I never heard from you...:eek:" Crazy? Not sure about that, just more adaptable perhaps. Some people live "off the wall" a little and don't like to pin down a time or place because they like to go with their mood for that day. Doesn't mean they're not interested, just different styles. That said, on the pessimistic end of the spectrum, he could be juggling a S/O and therefore may be unclear if he can keep the date. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted May 6, 2010 Share Posted May 6, 2010 Crazy? Not sure about that, just more adaptable perhaps. Some people live "off the wall" a little and don't like to pin down a time or place because they like to go with their mood for that day. Doesn't mean they're not interested, just different styles. That said, on the pessimistic end of the spectrum, he could be juggling a S/O and therefore may be unclear if he can keep the date. my gut says this is the case... Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted May 6, 2010 Share Posted May 6, 2010 [/b] my gut says this is the case... The OP hasn't chimed in today, so I am assuming the date is happening at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cinderella7 Posted May 6, 2010 Author Share Posted May 6, 2010 So...the date didn't end up happening tonight. He texted me about a work conflict and having a meeting moved up to later in the day, so he may not be able to make it out to my part of town to have dinner at a reasonable hour (we live about 45 minutes away from each other). He apologized via text, sent me a few messages throughout the day, and then called me tonight and we chatted for about 20 minutes. He apologized again over the phone and then asked about meeting up this weekend. I'm out of town this weekend, but he said he would call me again soon & we could try to set something up for next week. Normally I'd be irritated about a guy not following through and rescheduling a date, but he went through all of the effort with texting & calling & mentioning going out again that I think I feel okay about it (not thrilled, but willing to give him a second shot). However, I teasingly stated on the phone that one 'missed connection' like this was okay but a second one wouldn't be tolerated. And yeah, I do need to express a little more interest/excitement in this guy. I have a tendency to keep my cards pretty close to my chest to avoid being seen as needy or coming on too strong, and I can take this tendency to extreme levels. So he may have been waiting for some encouragement that I was excited/looking forward to/even remembered that we had made plans for tonight, because I gave no indication of anything like that prior to tonight. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cinderella7 Posted May 6, 2010 Author Share Posted May 6, 2010 Oh, and I found out we have a mutual friend (small world) and this guy is confirmed to be single. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted May 6, 2010 Share Posted May 6, 2010 good. i like it! now -learn from this. from now forward pin him down on a day, time and place. leave no room for misunderstanding between the two of you. the next possible outing is still left hanging - so the effort and commitment needs to be made to avoid a second possible blunder to which you could both only blame both. ask for the concrete date time. see if he is willing to place you in a position of a priority.. even over work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cinderella7 Posted May 6, 2010 Author Share Posted May 6, 2010 good. i like it! now -learn from this. from now forward pin him down on a day, time and place. leave no room for misunderstanding between the two of you. the next possible outing is still left hanging - so the effort and commitment needs to be made to avoid a second possible blunder to which you could both only blame both. ask for the concrete date time. see if he is willing to place you in a position of a priority.. even over work. The next time we speak, if he brings up meeting up again, I will definitely try to firm up a date/time/place. Not just pick a day and see what happens. However, I don't expect him to prioritize a first date over work right off the bat. From what I know, he's got a pretty intense career, and so do I. I would never put a first date over my job. Maybe months or a year into a relationship? Sure. But never a first date. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted May 6, 2010 Share Posted May 6, 2010 is it work or play that takes you out of town so many weekends? Link to post Share on other sites
janie423 Posted May 6, 2010 Share Posted May 6, 2010 The next time we speak, if he brings up meeting up again, I will definitely try to firm up a date/time/place. Not just pick a day and see what happens. However, I don't expect him to prioritize a first date over work right off the bat. From what I know, he's got a pretty intense career, and so do I. I would never put a first date over my job. Maybe months or a year into a relationship? Sure. But never a first date. no job in the world keeps me from a first date with someone I really am attracted to . . . frankly I think you're both lukewarm on this deal. Link to post Share on other sites
txsilkysmoothe Posted May 7, 2010 Share Posted May 7, 2010 is it work or play that takes you out of town so many weekends? THIS. You certainly hold him accountable for being available to see you, but I count two weekends that you have been "busy." I'd still be concerned that he's going to think you're not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted May 7, 2010 Share Posted May 7, 2010 This is pretty simple : My strategy : He says we will go out on Wednesday. I always say :" I will call to confirm a few hours prior to the time so I can get ready for the date " I tell the guy ," If you don't confirm I will assume you had other plans and I will make other plans myself." You say it non chalantley because afterall it is your time and your life.. I say this because I have had online dates. Some forget the date , or never show. I never get ready for a date unless I confirm. Period. I don't like wasting my time...Oh and have a plan B if he does not show despite everything....like go to a movie , get some dinner and move forward. I should mention I have not online dated for about 2 years now... A new guy asks you out on a date . He is either going to say : "I would love to take you out , how does Wednesday sound ? " You say sounds good , what time ? " He responds with the time and you say where are we meeting ? OR you get , "Hey I would love to see you next week" . ( thats bunk unless he comes up with a set time or day ) Link to post Share on other sites
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