Amicable divorce?

[just_some_guy]

Is it possible to divorce and have an amicable relationship, maybe during or afterwards?

 

If the marriage is not one full of hatred and anger, but one that has become unhealthy and unhappy, but there's still love enough to be friends, does that work?

 

I'm just wondering if we get to a place in life that two people decide that being husband and wife is not a good idea, but perhaps there is unfinished work between and mutual respect and love, can it work out that way?

[Chrome Barracuda]

Civil, maybe.

 

Amicable, Never!

[LucreziaBorgia]

Me and my ex are having a very amicable divorce. We are doing all the paperwork ourselves and will go together and file them at the courthouse. Non-contested, we worked out child stuff together, no need for alimony or child support, etc.

 

He and I are still family to each other, even though we didn't work out as husband and wife. We are close, and are friends with each other's SO's. It took some years to get here, but now that we managed to finally reach the year and a day mark of living in separate residences, it is time to file the paperwork.

 

We separated five years ago. He is moving in with his girlfriend and I just recently got engaged. I'd say its high time to get those papers done! They make it hard to divorce here - you have to have a year and a day of uninterrupted time of living in separate residences. We finally got it down consecutively this year.

 

I will say this - our feelings were settled years ago. If we had divorced a few years back, it probably would have been more tense.

[ADF]

It is possible. My parents have what anyone would call an amicable divorce. However, I think their case is pretty rare. More often than not, divorce creates a lot of bad blood that never fully washes away.

[jthorne]

I think it's possible if both parties agree it's for the best. Knowing your history, I'm not sure your wife is there yet...

[carhill]

Yep, possible. Stbx and I are doing it. No lawyers; minimal paralegal billings. Amicable property settlement. No children, so no custody/support agreements. Both financially viable, so no support necessary there.

 

I have no interest in being her 'friend' after the divorce is final but am 'friendly' (as is she) because it is my nature and it assists in the amicable dissolution process. I hope she continues as friends with the couples we were friends with as a married couple. I see no issues with that. Life goes on. MC was instrumental in promoting this mindset, IMO. I recommend it. Good luck

[ADF]

Yep, possible. Stbx and I are doing it. No lawyers; minimal paralegal billings. Amicable property settlement. No children, so no custody/support agreements. Both financially viable, so no support necessary there.

 

I have no interest in being her 'friend' after the divorce is final but am 'friendly' (as is she) because it is my nature and it assists in the amicable dissolution process. I hope she continues as friends with the couples we were friends with as a married couple. I see no issues with that. Life goes on. MC was instrumental in promoting this mindset, IMO. I recommend it. Good luck

 

 

I work in family law. It is precisely in cases like yours--where there are no children, no support issues, and no property disputes--that amicable divorces can happen.

 

People who decide to divorce usually worry about getting a bad settlement. That certainly can happen. But what they often don't anticipate is how brutal the process can be, regardless of how equitable the final settlement is. When disagreements about property arise, things can get nasty. When child custody issues come into it, nasty can turn to downright psychotic. Regardless of the outcome, people often leave divorce litigation broken and exhausted. I'm glad you dodged that bullet.

[carhill]

Let's just say I made it worth stbx's while to be 'friendly'. Life and sanity are qualifiable. I can always make more money and buy more stuff. My lawyer (not for family law) taught me to boil things down to the simplicity of what I want at the most basic level and go for that. Everything else is negotiable. I wanted my sanity and my ability to work (my business). Everything else was negotiable. Worked out great. Win-win. Only 'losers' were the lawyers but they seem to keep plenty busy anyway.

 

Also, MC helped with healthy communication of boundaries, so 'negotiating' wasn't an emotional process, rather a logical and business-like one. Get to the solution that satisfies all parties and de-escalate disagreements while still clearly communicating what one 'wants'. I now see the benefits of that educational process. Good life lesson.

[Lizzie60]

Is it possible to divorce and have an amicable relationship, maybe during or afterwards?

 

If the marriage is not one full of hatred and anger, but one that has become unhealthy and unhappy, but there's still love enough to be friends, does that work?

 

I'm just wondering if we get to a place in life that two people decide that being husband and wife is not a good idea, but perhaps there is unfinished work between and mutual respect and love, can it work out that way?

 

I never divorced.. because I never married.. but being long-term common-law spouse is about the same thing...

 

I never ever 'divorce' on bad terms.. I'm still friends with both my exes..

[D-Lish]

I had an amicable divorce with my exH- even though he cheated. We have mutual respect for one another to this day.

[trippi1432]

I think that my ex and I are finally getting to amicable...that's coming a long way for us considering the beginning when he left. There was a lot of bashing and hatred. Not going to say that it will always be like this, but taking advantage from the mental anguish for now.

[phineas]

My wife used the phrase "amicable divorce"

Sure hunny, whatever you say. LOL!

 

I have one kid starting preschool & another will be going in 2yrs.

I'm stuck with my STBXW for a VERY LONG TIME whether I like it or not.

 

She cheated & is still with OM.

We get along because I just don't care anymore.

 

I'm broke, but man i'm happy.

 

And when she tries to start an argument it's very easy to stop it in it's tracks.

I either just walk out of her apartment, walk into my house, or hang up the phone & send her 5 calls in a row straight to VM.

 

10 mins. later she's apologizing & I tell her that behaviour shouldn't of happened in the first place.

 

She's a little dense but she's learning that "amicable divorce" means I don't have to deal with her **** anymore.

[Got it]

Yes we had an amicable divorce. No children, both making enough money, etc.

 

We talk a couple times a week. We aren't best friends anymore but there is still a friendship.

[Zombie]

Is it possible to divorce and have an amicable relationship, maybe during or afterwards?

 

If the marriage is not one full of hatred and anger, but one that has become unhealthy and unhappy, but there's still love enough to be friends, does that work?

 

I'm just wondering if we get to a place in life that two people decide that being husband and wife is not a good idea, but perhaps there is unfinished work between and mutual respect and love, can it work out that way?

 

In a word, no. I've been through one divorce and child custody case (which I won btw...) and am presently separated from my wife. She needs space apparently...

 

It's ALWAYS messy in my opinion.

[MoscaVia]

No, its not always messy. It IS always painful, but it can be amicable. My H and I are going thru an amicable divorce. We picked out his place together, we even intend to "switch " places now and then so he can be in the house with the kids overnight on occasion. We made good roommates but never good marriage partners- no romance, no romantic love or attraction. We filed on our own, decided all arrangements on our ow- no child support, no FOC, no lawyers. We are always there for each other. Mutual respect and co-parents. We don't "hang out" because we have nothing in common other than the kids- but there is no fighting, no hurtful words...only support. And ofcoarse, sadness right now. But amicable....yes.