sweetbilly Posted January 22, 2004 Posted January 22, 2004 I need some good advice, and preferably from the ladies, guys, thanks. I don't know why but I have problems getting past the "friends" part. I don't know if it's me or if it's the way I come off? I mean, I always try to be respectful, I don't blatantly look at a womans breasts, and I always try to leave a good impression of myself. let me give you an example. I asked this woman I liked to have coffee with me. I looked into her eyes, then down to her lips. "I did this because I know i'm sending a subliminal message that says, i'm here, i like you, just take me, but i'm still a gentleman! She seemed flattered, then she told me, "no" then later said it was because of our circumstances "Unfortunately". Does this mean she's not interested in me, and dosen't want to go out? or does this mean "chase me" and you can have me? I like her, I think she's cute, even though, other guys might not think of her as the hottest woman they've ever seen. And I'm not looking for a one night stand, but a really good committed relationship. I'm really willing to overlook physical beauty, which is something i've never really done in the past. Because this time i'm looking for a person that will treat me good for a change. I thought she would be interested in me; I know she dosen't get asked out much. Is there signs to look for? when I asked she was all smiles! should I pursue her? does she really mean no? how can I tell? I even caught her looking at me once, then she turned her head really fast. she was my psych instructor last year, and I know this sounds bad, but were about the same age; she's maybe a little older than me. But at least i'm a man. I would never jeopardies her tenure or her morals by asking for better grades, besides i'm a straight "A" student in every class, and I don't need help. "Well, only with relationships"
tattoomytoe Posted January 22, 2004 Posted January 22, 2004 well first off, the instructors, no matter how ugly and young they are, should not date students. but why not just talk with her and hang out with her at school, like between classes, when she has free time. let her get to know you.
cdn Posted January 22, 2004 Posted January 22, 2004 I asked this woman I liked to have coffee with me.<snip> She seemed flattered, then she told me, "no" then later said it was because of our circumstances "Unfortunately". I would never jeopardies her tenure or her morals by asking for better grades, besides i'm a straight "A" student in every class, and I don't need help. If you don't want to jeopardize her tenure or her morals, then accept her response and find someone else to befriend/date. Professors are typically prohibited from dating students and her response confirms her desire to maintain her professional standing. If, once you are finished with your studies, you and she are both still interested in each other, pursue it then.
Author sweetbilly Posted January 23, 2004 Author Posted January 23, 2004 I think most of you have been confused by my question. my question was more along the lines of, I seem to have the same problem with all women; no matter who it is. and I don't understand the "I like you" or the " I don't like you" signals that women send. And what I didn't say was I wrote her a note that said I was willing to wait the mandatory one year that the college asks students to wait before engaging in a relationship with instructors, besides i waited until the last day of class to ask her out and left her my ph#. so I guess what i'm asking is, with the information I have, will she call? Is she interested? if shes not, did I do the right thing by leaving her my #? can someone help me identify the signs women will give when they're interested, so i'll know. How do you keep a womans attention, and not fall into the friendship trap, without being a jerk, or looking desperate and insecure. do women like the man who's macho or do they like the nice guy who's sweet and respectful, and how can you tell?
tattoomytoe Posted January 23, 2004 Posted January 23, 2004 You did the right thing, by leaving her your #, but (i'll put myself in her shoes-this is how i personally would act) i totally hate the phone, or to actually have to call a guy, that says he's interested... i probobly wouldn't. 1. i do not have a great self esteem, so i would think yeah right. 2. what if you changed your mind and didn't think you might like me anymore, then if i called i would be embarrassed. is there any way that you can pass her notes or something? or give her a call. you may have to definately show her that you are sincerly interested, she could have been hurt in the past. Or maybe she thinks you might be TO GOOD for her...which is very intimidating. hope this helps somewhat!
Author sweetbilly Posted January 23, 2004 Author Posted January 23, 2004 I've wrote to her on her e-mail, but i didn't know what to say except that I was very interested in her, and I wanted her to call me when she felt comfortable enough. I expect that if she wants to call me- if she likes me?- then she will. But I don't want to be in a relationship when she does. And I don't want to wait forever for her to make up her mind either! I mean, i'll be ok if she dosen't want to see me; it won't hurt my feelings. But i'm trying to understand if she wants to see me, and if i should pursue her or let it go? and if this is something i'll have to go through every time I ask someone out; this could get exhausting! is there any subtle hints I should look for? will it be the same with every woman? i'm actually a very shy person and it's hard to get up the guts to ask someone you don't know that well to go out. is there an easier way to break the ice with a woman, the right way?
tattoomytoe Posted January 23, 2004 Posted January 23, 2004 this could get exhausting! no i do not think it something you will go thru everytime youask someone out. and all chics are different, so what works for her, may not be what works for me, and so on... but you have done the basics...so now it is pretty much up to her on whether or not she accepts your offer. in the meantime don't put everything on hold, persue other dating interests... there is that old saying 'when it rains, it pours' i found this to be true with dating a lot!
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