Bleed Internal Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 I've been trying to go NC since July. Never made it more than a week. She cheated. We never officially got back together, but the past 9 months have been filled with intense grief and fights, but also lots of sex and happy moments that resemble the relationship she once had. I loved this girl very much and always made it clear that I had very little trust in her, and if we were to ever have a relationship with her again, I would need total honesty about everything. I made mistakes too and have been completely honest about them. Just about a week ago, I found out that she was still lying about so much of the reality of her infidelity. I had to stoop as low as to contact the other guy (who feels like he was cheated on too) for the truth. I've been trying to make this formerly amazing, severely dysfunctional relationship work for almost a year, but after she lied to my face over and over and over and over and crushed me for the millionth time, I vowed to take NC seriously and never speak to her ever again. I'm on day 5 of NC. Just a few days away from the longest I've ever gone. I'm determined to make it the entire month, graduate, and move to a new city to start my job. I have a lot to look forward to and would love to move knowing that I can live without her and at least have gotten her out of my system to some degree. Then I get a "I just want sex" text just now. It'd be good, but I've run back to her when she's texted me things like that so many times. It'd totally screw me up. I'm eating a healthy dinner and about to go run a few miles at the gym. I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do and I can't be weak here and let her do this to me again. Part of me wants to though. Please advise. Link to post Share on other sites
teanoranges Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Don't do it. Why would you? It's just going to mess with your head. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Cut it off and don't give in. It wouldn't just be about sex for you because you are emotionally inolved. My advice is to not "go there". It will save you lots of heartache in the long run saying no. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Dont do it . go find a girl that will love you for who you are Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Can't she just leave it on the front porch Of course you don't break NC... 10-1 she is just trying to get you to respond and sex isn't on the menu anyhow.. in reality... Link to post Share on other sites
DenverBachelor Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Then I get a "I just want sex" text just now. This sounds like a healthy relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
cdt76 Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Don't even give her the benefit of the doubt. She is a cheater who has no respect for you. Have some for yourself and don't even bother with her. Link to post Share on other sites
2yearsNC Posted May 6, 2010 Share Posted May 6, 2010 take the pussy. loose the feelings she's a whore cannot marry her. Link to post Share on other sites
Female Tech Posted May 6, 2010 Share Posted May 6, 2010 It sounds like a power move to me. Even if it wasn't, if she's cheating so often then she's just 'eating off the buffet' and is only hungry for your 'dish' at times. She knows when she beacons, you come running. I know it would feel good for that moment, but that good feeling won't last long once you leave. You'll be flooded with possible hope which will diminish quickly, and anger at yourself for going back to square one with this. So ... you haven't posted a follow up here about it. Did you do it? Or were you able to resist this tme? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bleed Internal Posted May 6, 2010 Author Share Posted May 6, 2010 take the pussy. lose the feelings she's a whore cannot marry her. i've been "taking the pussy" for 9 months. never lost the feelings. She knows when she beacons, you come running. I know it would feel good for that moment, but that good feeling won't last long once you leave. You'll be flooded with possible hope which will diminish quickly, and anger at yourself for going back to square one with this. So ... you haven't posted a follow up here about it. Did you do it? Or were you able to resist this tme? She comes running for me too. Over the past several months, there's been times when I've called her at 4am and she's been at my door 20 minutes later. She definitely wants me, but our past is too rocky. As quoted above, I "cannot marry her" but when we're together there's so much passion that it sure feels like we could. She'd be all for it too, despite my infidelities, but I'm not over hers. I don't trust her and I don't respect her. We'll have amazing sex and be nice to each other for a moment, and both of us will get our hopes high, but as soon as I think about what's happened (it's always me, she never preemptively brings up my mistakes) in the past, the anger and sadness comes out. Then the fights and arguments start. Having those feelings plus almost a week of NC makes me feel like I might even be falling out of love with her. I still catch myself thinking about her and wishing things worked out, but that's a reality that doesn't and never will exist. We screwed up and now our lives are going in separate directions. It's sad but I think I've finally reached a point of acceptance. Yes, I was able to resist this time. I actually hooked up with a different girl the same night I posted this, and then another girl the next night. It was nice. I mean, I'm single, right? They don't match up to her, but they're fun, great girls in their own right. There will be another major love. There will be another serious relationship. For the first time, I feel like I have closure on our failed relationship and I'm not allowing its demise to get me down about the future. I hope these feelings stick. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bleed Internal Posted May 7, 2010 Author Share Posted May 7, 2010 (edited) Damn, I sounded so strong yesterday. Today has been difficult though. I'm feeling down and a little weak. Good news: ONE WEEK NC! I seriously think she's the most beautiful woman in the world and I'll never see her again. I just want to text her something nice. I want us to get along. I wish we could get back together after cheating on each other like Jude Law and Sienna Miller. Our love is the absolute best when it's good. Unfortunately, it brings out the worst just as often. She always fights for me at the beginning of NC. Calling, texting. It hurts that she's past that point but I'm certain that she thinks about me all the time too. I'm also certain that she's had sex with someone else. I have no proof but she's an attention craving slut and I'm sure when I didn't respond to "I just want sex" she found what she was looking for elsewhere. In just a few paragraphs, I've expressed totally polarizing thoughts about her. This is why I know I need to stick to NC and continue working to get over her, but it's so hard and I feel so many different emotions. I can't wait to graduate and move to this new city so she's not blocks away from me and I can just move on and live my life. Edited May 7, 2010 by Bleed Internal Link to post Share on other sites
mickleb Posted May 7, 2010 Share Posted May 7, 2010 Actually, you didn't sound very strong yesterday. You sounded pretty unhealthy, still do. Keep chasing the pussy but don't pretend it's love. It sounds nothing like it. Soz. x Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted May 8, 2010 Share Posted May 8, 2010 Why would she buy the cow (YOU!) when she can get the milk for free?! Point is, she's a cheater and user. Don't you deserve better?! I've been in your position, she is only using you until she finds someone she likes better. Then you'll be back to square one. You can do a LOT better than her when you put her out of your mind and move forward with your life. Cheers. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted May 8, 2010 Share Posted May 8, 2010 Forward the text to your email, then forward the email to her existing b/f with a cc to her and a little addendum that says: -------------------------------- Hey [insert b/fs name], Here's the most recent text I got from your cheating girlfriend. Looks like she needs to get done. Do at your own discretion. Who knows who's also sharing her space. ---------------------------------------- Then block her number and email address. If this doesn't get rid of the psycho, don't know what will. Link to post Share on other sites
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