Will we be dating or just hanging out, after she moves out? Afraid to ask her.

[OnlyEverything]

Okay what do you guys think? I mean, I know you'll probably think "Why Doesn't He Just Ask Her?" but I don't want to Put any extra

pressure on her right now.

 

My girlfriend is moving out next week. She's been debating for a while, But now she's finally doing it. She Loves me But she she's

feeling those Independent feelings coming on like so many other women on here. We've been together 5 years. But we're still sleeping in the same bed, snuggling a little, not too much kissing but a few small kisses, lots of hugs when she cries about all of this, holding hands if we go out to grab dinner. She's cried, I've cried...The whole thing sucks, But I'm supporting her. She doesn't want to hurt me and fears losing me but know's she needs this ....okay..so..

 

My Question is: I don't want to ask her because, I don't want to bombard her with questions about ME or US or the future....But I want to know what you think...She's moving out, But she says she still wants to hang out and do things together, have dinner together, whatever.

I mean Just today she told me that she loves me more than anything in the world and she teared up as she was packing some stuff up in the house. But what does us hanging out together mean? She hasn't actually said "I'm moving out to my own place, But I still want to Date You" or "I'm moving out and I still want to be with you". How do I read it without asking her up front?

[Errol]

I hate to say it, but my take is that she's using you as a safety net. She probably doesn't even realize it. Much like a tight-rope walker practices until they no longer need the net - her independence will "improve with practice" until she doesn't need the net anymore. Of course - everyone is different and I could be way off base here and once she gets a taste of real independece she will say to herself "what was I thinking?!" and come right back to you.

 

 

Hang out together to me means like friends - not like dating.

[bicylejunk]

yeah, sounds like friends. But if you guys are still snuggling and holding hands, i think she still loves you, so who knows..

Maybe Like Errol said, once she gets a taste of real independence she will say to herself "what was I thinking?!" and come right back to you. You never know.

 

 

Hang out with her, show her a great, fantastic time, But also do your own thing and try not to put too much expectation into

the hang-outs. I think more than anything, what you want to do is "be the one she missed out on" and just do everything you can to better yourself and be cool and kind and sincere and funny etc. Be Mr. Cool.

[sarah12]

I think that you need to tell her upfront that you cannot be friends with her for a while if she chooses to move out and date others, etc. It will be very hard for the both of you if she is unsure of what she wants, and therefore keeps you on your toes. It's not fair to you and trust me, the pain of uncertainty is very hard to bear. You're not putting pressure on her by asking her, because you need to know for the sake of your sanity, and it is the least that you deserve.

 

I read your reply to another person's thread about how your ex did some things that bothered you. Have you considered that maybe you two are not right for each other anyways? It seems that you may be hanging onto her because she is leaving you, without having looked at the relationship itself and seeing whether or not it is healthy. Some of the things you said in that thread made me think that I wouldn't appreciate some of those things if I were in that relationship.

 

Anyways, just my $0.02.