Met with ex bf after 1 month! Sunday! what happened!!!!

[wingman2]

Hey guys sorry for not saying a word around here in some time. I took Lull's advice by giving it at least a week, and talking to her on my terms, seeing what it was she wanted to talk to me about but not asking her that directly. As you know last weekend she tried several times to talk to me but always putting her off showing that I'm busy and responding the next day or several hours later. Well this time I decided to talk on my terms. Was trying to act myself, make things short and sweet while allowing her to direct the conversation and see where things go. I was keeping it according to my agenda since the main reason for communicating with her was trying to figure out what she wanted to talk to me about. Also I just wanted to make things a bit more interesting this time around.

 

Well the bizarre thing is she didn't want to talk on messenger nor the phone. She was just texting me the entire time and we pretty much communicated through text. While I may not have come across as exciting to talk to I was doing a better job at being myself. While she seemed to have had little to really say. All she was asking was what I'm doing, how I'm doing, how I've been doing, how school has been, nothing really exciting but I would say a lot more. I just kept it going for a bit to see if she wanted to talk on the phone or something or bring anything important up but by half hour I was thinking of just saying I'm going to bed and ending it. Well apparently she got to it before I did. Yeah she cut it off with me, without even saying good night or that she has to go or anything. It was right after I texted her telling her that I went to a concert the other day and then she never sends anything back. She completely got me fooled in her trap. I was the one allowing her to say what exactly she wanted to talk about last weekend and then I was planning on cutting it off with her and going back into NC then getting her to wonder why I've disappeared but apparently I guess all she wanted to do was get back at me for disappearing when I stopped the questioning.

 

Ok now things are a little bit different, she just texted back 45 minutes after I texted her. All she had to say about the concert I went to the other day was "that sounds cool" why is she responding with such lame responses? I feel like she just doesn't even care. Well I don't want to show that I've just been waiting around for her and this is obviously getting me no where so I'm thinking of just not saying anything back and going back into NC.

 

I just feel like I've failed, like my chance was a month ago when she contacted me the first time but now I just feel like she has absolutately no interest in me whatsoever and no longer cares. Maybe she's just over me and no longer wants to be a part of my life anymore. I don't know, just disappointed but like I said just wanted to see if there was anything important she wanted to talk about. She's on her myspace right now too, weird considering she has to get up early tomorrow. It's possible she may have just needed to get ready for bed or perhaps take a shower but sometimes I feel like what if she has a new boyfriend and he called her up or something or that's why she's up at this hour. I don't know, I guess I shouldn't just assume things. I just feel like there's almost no hope and it hurts because even if I'm no longer in love with her I still really love her and would still want a relationship with her so bad. I'm not exactly sure what's going on. What do you guys feel that she's doing? Why the long delay in her text and why do you guys think she may have seemed really uninterested in talking when she wanted to last weekend? What would she be getting out of this? It just got me no where that's for sure. I'm going to go along with what Sup said and just go into NC. This week of NC has been hard for me but I can get my mind on track and focus on myself. I gave her the chance to open up so I'm just going to pull away now and just see what happens, see how long it takes for her to get back with me. I really hope there's still hope. What do you guys think? Things aren't looking too well for me, wish I were in the same boat as the both of you, I just feel like I do nothing but keep making my situation worse.

[supersub]

Hi Sup! Ok, she called. Did she say she'd like to see you this week or did you say it? how did you feel the conversation? of course it's gonna be a bit weird but actions are all that matter right now and the fact is she called and you'll see her, so we'll go from there after you meet.

I think it's great she called and contacted you so don't overthink too much and wait till you see her. I do believe guards have gone up a bit though, as you said, but you know? I think it's gonna be like that for a while, until you both feel 100% strong and let yourself go again without no fear, because it's not that you're completely "cured" and have no problem in letting your feelings show, so why should she?

Man, this is hard, right? we know this was not gonna be easy and it certainly isn't but remember what your goal is and you said it yourself. You prefer to fight for this than having nothing at all.

 

From my end, I'm having a sort of sad night (yeah, I gave you advice and now I feel down!!!! I should read my words, right?)

I was out all day in the congress and just arrived but the night is taking its toll now and I'm missing him so much. He has to call, text or sth. These are the moments when I hate the situation I'm in. I'm only happy when he calls!!!!! and this can't be! My God!!!!! And when I think about it I say to myself: "Go easy on it, please! he sent you an email on Thursday, give it time!!!" but I can't help myself and wonder where he is, who he is with, "does he miss me?" "is he meeting another woman???" ahhhhhh!!!

 

Anyway, I'll try to resist. He'll come around eventually, he has an answer to provide and can't run away because HE started the game, right???

 

I'm crazy... I know

 

Hi Lull!

 

First off, again there are highs and lows. Don't stress too much about it, though I know how you are feeling. Try to remember that at the end of the day you are both playing some sort of strategy, try not to overthink. It will come back around! Yes he does miss you, and so what if he is meeting other women he is probably doing nothing more than meeting them, and they are not you, cannot replace you, you know that and so does he, feelings are not switched off like a light. I've met other women and I believe my ex has met other guys, but there is 'something' between us, as there is with you and yours. Remember we are all split up, and at the end of the day you cannot control what they do EVER, so don't worry about it.

 

I think we both knew we were going to see each other. She told me that she only had certain times this week, which I believe, cos I am in the same boat because of commitments that I genuinely have also. So we are having dinner one night this week. It was me that asked. She made the call, so I asked.

 

The weird thing is that when we talk on the phone she is eager to show me how busy she is, its kind of overkill, non stop talk then when we text she is really short. I find it an interesting para dime. I guess its her game, though I'm starting to see it for what it is. Desperation springs to mind. Its like she is saying she is never alone, but you know what, you have to learn to be alone, and that's something I don't find difficulty in. To be honest I'm starting to find her retort to be rather boring, because it smacks of desperation, and feels forced. This is good news for me, because I feel like I'm ready to move on from her if that's the way it has to be. Im at the point where Im getting fed up with it all. Indifference is setting in.. So its really down to her at the end of the day. We will see how dinner goes.

 

Funny how things work out, but Lull to reiterate on your situation. I think its fine, its just a silent time, just like I had this week.

 

No worries!!

 

Hang in there kid!

[wingman2]

Anyone care for what I had to say?

[supersub]

Hey guys sorry for not saying a word around here in some time. I took Lull's advice by giving it at least a week, and talking to her on my terms, seeing what it was she wanted to talk to me about but not asking her that directly. As you know last weekend she tried several times to talk to me but always putting her off showing that I'm busy and responding the next day or several hours later. Well this time I decided to talk on my terms. Was trying to act myself, make things short and sweet while allowing her to direct the conversation and see where things go. I was keeping it according to my agenda since the main reason for communicating with her was trying to figure out what she wanted to talk to me about. Also I just wanted to make things a bit more interesting this time around.

 

Well the bizarre thing is she didn't want to talk on messenger nor the phone. She was just texting me the entire time and we pretty much communicated through text. While I may not have come across as exciting to talk to I was doing a better job at being myself. While she seemed to have had little to really say. All she was asking was what I'm doing, how I'm doing, how I've been doing, how school has been, nothing really exciting but I would say a lot more. I just kept it going for a bit to see if she wanted to talk on the phone or something or bring anything important up but by half hour I was thinking of just saying I'm going to bed and ending it. Well apparently she got to it before I did. Yeah she cut it off with me, without even saying good night or that she has to go or anything. It was right after I texted her telling her that I went to a concert the other day and then she never sends anything back. She completely got me fooled in her trap. I was the one allowing her to say what exactly she wanted to talk about last weekend and then I was planning on cutting it off with her and going back into NC then getting her to wonder why I've disappeared but apparently I guess all she wanted to do was get back at me for disappearing when I stopped the questioning.

 

Ok now things are a little bit different, she just texted back 45 minutes after I texted her. All she had to say about the concert I went to the other day was "that sounds cool" why is she responding with such lame responses? I feel like she just doesn't even care. Well I don't want to show that I've just been waiting around for her and this is obviously getting me no where so I'm thinking of just not saying anything back and going back into NC.

 

I just feel like I've failed, like my chance was a month ago when she contacted me the first time but now I just feel like she has absolutately no interest in me whatsoever and no longer cares. Maybe she's just over me and no longer wants to be a part of my life anymore. I don't know, just disappointed but like I said just wanted to see if there was anything important she wanted to talk about. She's on her myspace right now too, weird considering she has to get up early tomorrow. It's possible she may have just needed to get ready for bed or perhaps take a shower but sometimes I feel like what if she has a new boyfriend and he called her up or something or that's why she's up at this hour. I don't know, I guess I shouldn't just assume things. I just feel like there's almost no hope and it hurts because even if I'm no longer in love with her I still really love her and would still want a relationship with her so bad. I'm not exactly sure what's going on. What do you guys feel that she's doing? Why the long delay in her text and why do you guys think she may have seemed really uninterested in talking when she wanted to last weekend? What would she be getting out of this? It just got me no where that's for sure. I'm going to go along with what Sup said and just go into NC. This week of NC has been hard for me but I can get my mind on track and focus on myself. I gave her the chance to open up so I'm just going to pull away now and just see what happens, see how long it takes for her to get back with me. I really hope there's still hope. What do you guys think? Things aren't looking too well for me, wish I were in the same boat as the both of you, I just feel like I do nothing but keep making my situation worse.

 

 

Hi wing,

 

I wouldn't sweat it my friend, as I have told you over and over. This stuff is not easy, you just have to learn that the waters you Lull, and myself are traversing are not easy.

 

You didn't talk to her for a week, well her guard has gone up. You protected yourself, she is protecting herself. Lull and I are going through the same thing even now, if you read our posts, but we are a little further along.

 

You need to stop over thinking the situation, and stop worrying that you may have blown it. You haven't. Me and my ex didn't talk for months text, call nothing. I had all the thoughts, what if this, what if that. I am paying for that now because she has her guard up sometimes right now, but its all part of how it goes.

 

You need to concentrate on yourself and if she is being short and you don't like it then let it go until she contacts you, and I can bet she will, because as I have told you over and over once you start doing your own thing, they want to know why you are not chasing anymore.

 

Detach from the situation, don't let it rule your life.

 

Remember be the prize, play your game not hers.

 

That's all I can tell you.

 

Hang in there.

[lullaby]

Hi Lull!

 

First off, again there are highs and lows. Don't stress too much about it, though I know how you are feeling. Try to remember that at the end of the day you are both playing some sort of strategy, try not to overthink. It will come back around! Yes he does miss you, and so what if he is meeting other women he is probably doing nothing more than meeting them, and they are not you, cannot replace you, you know that and so does he, feelings are not switched off like a light. I've met other women and I believe my ex has met other guys, but there is 'something' between us, as there is with you and yours. Remember we are all split up, and at the end of the day you cannot control what they do EVER, so don't worry about it.

 

I think we both knew we were going to see each other. She told me that she only had certain times this week, which I believe, cos I am in the same boat because of commitments that I genuinely have also. So we are having dinner one night this week. It was me that asked. She made the call, so I asked.

 

The weird thing is that when we talk on the phone she is eager to show me how busy she is, its kind of overkill, non stop talk then when we text she is really short. I find it an interesting para dime. I guess its her game, though I'm starting to see it for what it is. Desperation springs to mind. Its like she is saying she is never alone, but you know what, you have to learn to be alone, and that's something I don't find difficulty in. To be honest I'm starting to find her retort to be rather boring, because it smacks of desperation, and feels forced. This is good news for me, because I feel like I'm ready to move on from her if that's the way it has to be. Im at the point where Im getting fed up with it all. Indifference is setting in.. So its really down to her at the end of the day. We will see how dinner goes.

 

Funny how things work out, but Lull to reiterate on your situation. I think its fine, its just a silent time, just like I had this week.

 

No worries!!

 

Hang in there kid!

 

Hi Sup! well, on the one hand, it's good that you feel ready to move on if that's the case because you wouldn't let your hopes go higher and would put a stop whenever something hurts. On the other hand, one tend to take things lighter and not worry too much but it kills us inside, right? What I mean is that, although it's great for you to see what kind of game she may be using, remember you're playing a game too, just like you told me, and you're still hoping for this relationship to work. I don't know if I'm clear, I'm a little down today so perhaps I'm not so positive.

My point is that just like you said, let's see how this date goes, she called so she wanted something from you and her guards are up, maybe she wanted to let you know she is busy so you don't think she's constantly thinking of you. She can't say "well, I have a plan and will say I busy so you think I don't have time but make the time for you".I don't know.

 

As from my end, no news actually. He hasn't contacted me since Thursday. I told him I was gonna be out for the weekend in this congress thing but he never even sent me a text, and no email so far It's driving me crazy actually because as you put it "desperation springs to mind" and this game of push and pull can be quite tiring sometimes when you're feelings are so involved, can't it? I guess I should just wait for him to come around, right? I don't want to show him I'm too expectant.

We'll see!!!

[lullaby]

Hi wing,

 

I wouldn't sweat it my friend, as I have told you over and over. This stuff is not easy, you just have to learn that the waters you Lull, and myself are traversing are not easy.

 

You didn't talk to her for a week, well her guard has gone up. You protected yourself, she is protecting herself. Lull and I are going through the same thing even now, if you read our posts, but we are a little further along.

 

You need to stop over thinking the situation, and stop worrying that you may have blown it. You haven't. Me and my ex didn't talk for months text, call nothing. I had all the thoughts, what if this, what if that. I am paying for that now because she has her guard up sometimes right now, but its all part of how it goes.

 

You need to concentrate on yourself and if she is being short and you don't like it then let it go until she contacts you, and I can bet she will, because as I have told you over and over once you start doing your own thing, they want to know why you are not chasing anymore.

 

Detach from the situation, don't let it rule your life.

 

Remember be the prize, play your game not hers.

 

That's all I can tell you.

 

Hang in there.

 

Hi Wing! Yes, just like Sup said, you don't have to overthink and believe me it's not easy because even if Sup and I are sort of "reconnecting" with our ex, there are ups and downs and moments when we feel we're doing something wrong. So no matter what the situation is like, you have to concentrate on yourself, it is a sort of game, like a chess, you make a move and she hast to think for her next move and so on.

If I were you I would go no contact for a while, at least a couple of days, and then see how you feel, and maybe you can ask her to have a coffee or something but don't mention the relationship.

I know it's tough but it's the path we've picked. It can be amazing at moments, Sup and I can give evidence of that if you read our posts, but it can also be quite confusing and dissappointing.

Hope everything goes well!

[supersub]

Hi Sup! well, on the one hand, it's good that you feel ready to move on if that's the case because you wouldn't let your hopes go higher and would put a stop whenever something hurts. On the other hand, one tend to take things lighter and not worry too much but it kills us inside, right? What I mean is that, although it's great for you to see what kind of game she may be using, remember you're playing a game too, just like you told me, and you're still hoping for this relationship to work. I don't know if I'm clear, I'm a little down today so perhaps I'm not so positive.

My point is that just like you said, let's see how this date goes, she called so she wanted something from you and her guards are up, maybe she wanted to let you know she is busy so you don't think she's constantly thinking of you. She can't say "well, I have a plan and will say I busy so you think I don't have time but make the time for you".I don't know.

 

As from my end, no news actually. He hasn't contacted me since Thursday. I told him I was gonna be out for the weekend in this congress thing but he never even sent me a text, and no email so far It's driving me crazy actually because as you put it "desperation springs to mind" and this game of push and pull can be quite tiring sometimes when you're feelings are so involved, can't it? I guess I should just wait for him to come around, right? I don't want to show him I'm too expectant.

We'll see!!!

 

Yes Lull we often see things from only our own perspective, but we don't take into account the games we are playing and its effects on the outcome. That's why indifference is key, cos then no matter what you do it wont really bother you, so yes its a great point that we are all playing some sort of strategy and sometimes that strategy can make you feel great great and then like crap!

 

A great example of this is your congress meeting the weekend. You tell it as it is, but he may well have taken it like "Well she says shes doing this congress thing, but how do I really know? How do I know this is what shes really doing.. Grrrr, I'm not gonna call. I'll let her wait.." then you start to doubt because he builds a wall, and vice versa. Thus the status quo of the game is born, and its the same for all of us. This stalemate, push pull, I'm busy, can't do it that day, but my life is soooo awesome blah blah blah. Bores me to tears! But everyone is genetically modified to protect their pride.

 

Thats how these things happen, but for all of us its easier and not as emotional as crying begging and pleading. Which I know I will never do with my ex ever again.

 

No doubt he will call Lull. No doubt in my mind. I would say Tues or Weds.

 

Do you feel better?

 

This stuff is wearing isn't it?

[lullaby]

Yes Lull we often see things from only our own perspective, but we don't take into account the games we are playing and its effects on the outcome. That's why indifference is key, cos then no matter what you do it wont really bother you, so yes its a great point that we are all playing some sort of strategy and sometimes that strategy can make you feel great great and then like crap!

 

A great example of this is your congress meeting the weekend. You tell it as it is, but he may well have taken it like "Well she says shes doing this congress thing, but how do I really know? How do I know this is what shes really doing.. Grrrr, I'm not gonna call. I'll let her wait.." then you start to doubt because he builds a wall, and vice versa. Thus the status quo of the game is born, and its the same for all of us. This stalemate, push pull, I'm busy, can't do it that day, but my life is soooo awesome blah blah blah. Bores me to tears! But everyone is genetically modified to protect their pride.

 

Thats how these things happen, but for all of us its easier and not as emotional as crying begging and pleading. Which I know I will never do with my ex ever again.

 

No doubt he will call Lull. No doubt in my mind. I would say Tues or Weds.

 

Do you feel better?

 

This stuff is wearing isn't it?

 

Hi Sup! Yes, it's totally wearing. Don't you think this push/pull tactic we're both working on with our exs is going to take away the love we have for them? I mean, I know I won't stand myself being like this for that long. Even if I keep having contact with him, if things do not take a different approach I would eventually begin to notice someone else that offers what he is not offering, right? Again, I don't know if I make myself clear.

 

I'm in love with my ex, miss him a lot, and would love to get back with him, but if he continues to play me this sort of game, I don't know how long I can take it. But again, we're both playing the game and although I feel like reconnecting with him, fear strikes and makes me think he's playing me the wrong way.

 

I do agree with you on the fact that I won't plead or beg again. Actually, I only did that 1 time, the very moment he left, then I completely dissappeared of his radar.

 

I do value your insight on what he may have thought about the congress. He may have thought I was busy with that and wouldn't want to bother me.

God this is so tiring!!!!!

 

I guess I'll keep my pride intact and wait as long as I can, because honestly, I feel angry right now and it's no good contacting him like this!

 

Btw, have you talked to your ex? when are you having dinner?

 

Best

[supersub]

Hi Sup! Yes, it's totally wearing. Don't you think this push/pull tactic we're both working on with our exs is going to take away the love we have for them? I mean, I know I won't stand myself being like this for that long. Even if I keep having contact with him, if things do not take a different approach I would eventually begin to notice someone else that offers what he is not offering, right? Again, I don't know if I make myself clear.

 

I'm in love with my ex, miss him a lot, and would love to get back with him, but if he continues to play me this sort of game, I don't know how long I can take it. But again, we're both playing the game and although I feel like reconnecting with him, fear strikes and makes me think he's playing me the wrong way.

 

I do agree with you on the fact that I won't plead or beg again. Actually, I only did that 1 time, the very moment he left, then I completely dissappeared of his radar.

 

I do value your insight on what he may have thought about the congress. He may have thought I was busy with that and wouldn't want to bother me.

God this is so tiring!!!!!

 

I guess I'll keep my pride intact and wait as long as I can, because honestly, I feel angry right now and it's no good contacting him like this!

 

Btw, have you talked to your ex? when are you having dinner?

 

Best

 

Yes, I think we are on the same page as of right now you and I. It is frustrating. However don't be angry about it. No point. Its been a strange thing the last 3 days my feelings have gone indifferent. Its like it doesn't bother me what the outcome is. Usually I have a day of that, then I'm back into the fold, but the last 3 days. I've been like "Whatever will be will be." Regardless of her being with someone else, or not loving me. I don't really dont seem to care as much.

 

Not sure why.

 

Having dinner tonight, looking forward to it, nothing more, nothing less. We shall see what happens. I know the phone stuff is strange, but when we are around each other we seem pretty cool.

 

Once again I'm just going to enjoy the time.

 

As for you, no need to make any quick decisions yet. I know this means a lot to you. Be a little more patient.

 

Did you say you would call, or did he?

[lullaby]

Yes, I think we are on the same page as of right now you and I. It is frustrating. However don't be angry about it. No point. Its been a strange thing the last 3 days my feelings have gone indifferent. Its like it doesn't bother me what the outcome is. Usually I have a day of that, then I'm back into the fold, but the last 3 days. I've been like "Whatever will be will be." Regardless of her being with someone else, or not loving me. I don't really dont seem to care as much.

 

Not sure why.

 

Having dinner tonight, looking forward to it, nothing more, nothing less. We shall see what happens. I know the phone stuff is strange, but when we are around each other we seem pretty cool.

 

Once again I'm just going to enjoy the time.

 

As for you, no need to make any quick decisions yet. I know this means a lot to you. Be a little more patient.

 

Did you say you would call, or did he?

 

Yeah, I think we're on the same page Sup. It's not like I don't care but I suffered a lot, cried a lot, haven't eaten for two weeks. That's done, it's the past and won't do that again for my ex.

I hope dinner goes well!!! I hope you have a good time with her and you'll learn more from her now. I guess as we always say, the die is cast, right?

 

Actually, we never said someone would call. The last email was on Thursday. He wrote he was still thinking of the answer and the bet because he was persevering and wanted to win. He wished me good luck on the congress. But he never said "I'll call you". Well, he never says that, he just does it. And I answered him and wrote I was already leaving for the congress meeting, that I would be out of the office Thursday afternoon and Friday, and would be in the congress all weekend too, but I did say he could contact me on the cell. I said "Ok, I'll let you think your bet, you have to win it. Have a good day", something like that. And that was it. I never said I would contact him either, so it's like ambiguous, but he does have an answer to provide as regards our bet, dont you think? or is it too open?

God, I feel like I'm 15 years old!!!!!! Sorry!!!!

[lullaby]

He wrote! He asked about my interview and the congress and said he was expecting ME to call and tell him about that LOL!!!!!

 

Let's see how it goes! I'll keep you posted

[supersub]

He wrote! He asked about my interview and the congress and said he was expecting ME to call and tell him about that LOL!!!!!

 

Let's see how it goes! I'll keep you posted

 

Don't be sorry!

 

What did I tell you!?

 

Remember I said either Tuesday or Wednesday he would contact and he has.

 

Tha'ts about... erm.. 50 bucks you owe me! LOL!

 

Awesome stuff. Plus he said he was expecting you to call. A good sign indeed.

 

Now you need to send a message back cos this looks very promising.

 

Good luck!

[lullaby]

Yes!! Good job, Sup! I owe you know!!!

 

Yes, I did answer and yes, he was expecting me to call, and I was expecting HIM to call and none of us called the other!!! LOL!!!

 

And you won't believe what happened afterwards, I got a call and I'm hired in this new job!! So I'm quitting the old one! I can't believe it! So many good news!

 

Let's see how it goes!!!!

 

Hey, but I also preticted SHE was going to call, right? remember? I told you to wait a couple of days and she did call on Saturday

[supersub]

Yes!! Good job, Sup! I owe you know!!!

 

Yes, I did answer and yes, he was expecting me to call, and I was expecting HIM to call and none of us called the other!!! LOL!!!

 

And you won't believe what happened afterwards, I got a call and I'm hired in this new job!! So I'm quitting the old one! I can't believe it! So many good news!

 

Let's see how it goes!!!!

 

Hey, but I also predicted SHE was going to call, right? remember? I told you to wait a couple of days and she did call on Saturday

 

Proud of ya Lullaby, you are beaming and you should be! Congratulations on the job, that will help your self-esteem loads!

 

No I don't remember you erm.. telling me she would call.

 

Heh, heh, Of course I do!

 

So what next for you?

[lullaby]

Thanks, Sup!!!! I'm captivated by all this!!!

 

He already answered and said we should celebrate for my new job and said he'd like to see me. I replied that would be lovely and there are high chances for us to meet this weekend I couldn't ask for more today actually!!!

 

I'll keep you posted!

 

You rock, you know?

[supersub]

Thanks, Sup!!!! I'm captivated by all this!!!

 

He already answered and said we should celebrate for my new job and said he'd like to see me. I replied that would be lovely and there are high chances for us to meet this weekend I couldn't ask for more today actually!!!

 

I'll keep you posted!

 

You rock, you know?

 

If I have been any help to you, then that makes me happy, because I want to help others.

 

And yes I do rock! Ha ha!

 

You have a great meeting set here, because you are beaming, and if you agree to meet him, he will be beaming. You both will shine, and that's always a great thing.

 

A great shot at reconciliation here, but don't forget the things you have learned.

 

Sup.

 

Proud of ya!

[wingman2]

Hey glad to hear things are going well for you lull. Looks like there's light at the end of the tunnel for you Hope it all works out great. I think you're on the road to reconciliation but I wouldn't keep my hopes up too high, just in case things tend to take a bit longer but I think you're making a lot of progress. How are things going for you Sup? I read most of the ou post you guy's have written and I recall you saying that you're getting a bit tired of this situation? Do you feel that things are just getting you no where?

 

Well I have to say I'm still a bit behind you guys but today I'm feeling better in some ways. I have to admit I could sure work on myself some more. This entire time rather than focusing on myself I've been doing the opposite until now. For about the first month I wouldn't eat so I lost a lot of weight, I hardly ate that is. Then the rest of the time I've been eating too much so now I've gained too much weight which is also not good. I've been trying to go to my gym, before the break up I worked out 5 days a week but afterwards it went to about 1 time a week. I know not good, definitely not what I should be doing but I'm starting to use my time to focus on me now. Just not having the answers and my mind spinning in circles really stops me from doing anything else.

 

To keep you guys up to date though. Sup you stand correct. She did contact me and sooner than I thought.. a lot sooner. The next night actually. She texted me asking if I mind if I can call her? It was just out of the blue, she just asked me to call her but she didn't call me, she left it up to me but wanted me to call. Although normally I would put her off, considering we've been communicating mostly through text this entire time a phone call doesn't happen too often. So I decided to give it a shot and called her since I had a little bit of time. Just to see if there was indeed anything she had to say.

 

Well the conversation wasn't awkward like our first meet together, but it really didn't get us anywhere kind of like the night before when we talked. However it did have the effect of bringing me back, sort of felt like I was with her again talking on the phone on those long nights and I'm sure it felt that way for her too because this time we both weren't too nervous, at least I wasn't but regardless we both kept our guards up that's for sure. I almost completely forgot for a bit that we were even broken up and almost about to call her baby or say I love you lol. I kept it to myself though. She was really kind and polite, however she was also really quiet. She really didn't have much to say, I was allowing her to open up with me if she had anything she wanted to talk about but because she really wasn't talking I was doing all the talking. Asking how she's been and then just going off about what I've been up to. Discussed my day and then talked to her about the concert I went to on Friday and told her a little about that. I told her how one of the lead singers of one of the bands who played is a personal friend of mine who's going to be giving me free guitar lessons.

 

I didn't get much out of the conversation, the entire thing lasted 10 minutes and I tried hard to allow her to direct the course of the conversation but the most I got out of her is that apparently she's doing really bad in college. When I met her she told me that she failed two exams and this time I asked how she's been doing on her project which apparently she failed that as well. Just straight out told me she never got it done and just completely failed it. This grew a lot of concern in me because she's always been a very ambitious and motivated girl at least while she was with me. I'm just concerned as to why she's doing so bad and it's causing me to wonder, popping my questions into my head. I even asked her how come she failed it in which she responded "It's complicated, don't feel like getting into it" I know from before she was having problems with it but it's sad to know that she didn't even get it done. Do you guys perhaps might know as to why she's having a tough time in school? Well of course you guy's wouldn't know what am I saying. Just makes me wonder though.

 

Well anyway I then asked if she's still going on that trip to Europe with her family this summer but when I asked she wasn't there, guess she put the phone down or something, but when she came back she said she didn't want to keep me waiting so she'll talk to me another time. I said alright I'll talk to you another time and hung up. Kind of suspicious if you ask me. Take note this conversation took place around midnight. I haven't spoken to her since and I'm thinking of just keeping NC until she comes around again. I hope I didn't do the wrong thing by calling her. I feel like she may have had some other things to say but perhaps like Lull said in one of her post, she may have felt that I was expecting something from her which I kind of am. Perhaps she was expecting something from me too. I just find it odd how she wanted me to call yet she didn't really have much to say. Neither did she the night before.

 

It did set me back though and made me think of her a lot more which was really hard for me the past two days. Well sorry for rambling on. Let me know what you guys think and good luck for the both of you.

[supersub]

Well guys All over for me.

 

Date went great, then like that! it went south, over something silly, don't want to go into details. No point. Not interested in negatives. I've had enough, and that's all anyone needs to know.

 

The point is that it doesn't bother me anymore. I'm done with the drama indifferent to it.

 

Looking forward to moving on now.

 

Best of luck to you guys, please keep me informed on your situation and I will try to help as best I can.

 

Best,

 

Sup:cool:

[lullaby]

Hi Sup! So sad to hear that, but if you say you're fine, then everything is OK. I won't ask what happened, I respect if you don't want to dwell on it.

You were already a bit tired of everything so...

 

I wish you the best and hope you can move on from it. At least, you know now that you did all you could and never gave up, right?

 

With me everything is great, expecting to meet him on the weekend so I'll keep you posted

 

I'm here if you need anything, ok?

 

Best!

[supersub]

Its cool. I'm still breathing. Thing is it was over something so stupid. That we both kind of caused, I think we are both just at an end with it.

 

We have talked on the phone today, but I doubt it will come around again, she told me she doesn't want to try and I told her I am also done with it, so there you go.

 

Still my heart and hopes go out to everyone else and their situations and I wish you all well.

 

Time to move forward.

[wingman2]

I'm sorry to hear that sup. Hope not all is lost for u. Think u guys can give some insight on my post though? Would really apppreciate it. I won't bug u guys too much.

[supersub]

Hi Wing,

 

Honestly, I don't think there's much else I can tell you that I haven't already. I think that you need to distance yourself for a while and just forget about her, and work on you. Period.

 

Just thought I would let everyone know that I finally figured out that my ex gave me more headaches than any reconciliation was worth! and I think she feels the same way!

 

So finally we agree on something!

 

LOL!

 

Hope everyone is doing good!!!

 

Where is Lullaby?

 

Supersub

[lullaby]

Hi guys!

Wing, I agree with Sup. You've reached a point in which there is so much confusion and thoughts swirling in your mind that you won't be able to see any clear idea or even know what you really feel, because you're living through what your ex does. Don't know if you see my point, but you really need to take time for yourself. It's not easy, but you won't get anything from her if you first don't know what you really want for you. Although you may seem to know you want her back, you love her, please take a time and think it through.

Look at Sup, he worked on himself. Sadly, the outcome was not the best, but he is not killing himself right now for it, he knows he did what he could and even agreed on something with his ex, but he gave it time, and gave his thoughts time to settle down and really see if he was willing to go all this trouble of "reconnecting with your ex". And to do this reconnection, you need to be "recovered" from the break up and you must have come to terms with it and start anew, otherwise, it won't work. And take it from me, it can be quite an exhausting thing if you're not mentally prepared and ready for so. So just take it easy my friend, relax, enjoy, and time will tell.

 

Sup!! good to hear you're doing good! at least you know you didn't quit, like I already said! You didn't know if it was going to work out or not, but you both gave it a try. Good for you I still wonder what was that silly thing you argued about!

 

I have no news so far, well, yes, but silly emails we've been sending each other. He is still "flirting" with me, but not in a sexy way, in an innocent "beginning of relationship" way LOL!! So we still have to fix a day to meet but I know it will happen so I'm totally looking forward to it!! We'll see!

Thanks for caring!!!

[supersub]

Hi guys!

Wing, I agree with Sup. You've reached a point in which there is so much confusion and thoughts swirling in your mind that you won't be able to see any clear idea or even know what you really feel, because you're living through what your ex does. Don't know if you see my point, but you really need to take time for yourself. It's not easy, but you won't get anything from her if you first don't know what you really want for you. Although you may seem to know you want her back, you love her, please take a time and think it through.

Look at Sup, he worked on himself. Sadly, the outcome was not the best, but he is not killing himself right now for it, he knows he did what he could and even agreed on something with his ex, but he gave it time, and gave his thoughts time to settle down and really see if he was willing to go all this trouble of "reconnecting with your ex". And to do this reconnection, you need to be "recovered" from the break up and you must have come to terms with it and start anew, otherwise, it won't work. And take it from me, it can be quite an exhausting thing if you're not mentally prepared and ready for so. So just take it easy my friend, relax, enjoy, and time will tell.

 

Sup!! good to hear you're doing good! at least you know you didn't quit, like I already said! You didn't know if it was going to work out or not, but you both gave it a try. Good for you I still wonder what was that silly thing you argued about!

 

I have no news so far, well, yes, but silly emails we've been sending each other. He is still "flirting" with me, but not in a sexy way, in an innocent "beginning of relationship" way LOL!! So we still have to fix a day to meet but I know it will happen so I'm totally looking forward to it!! We'll see!

Thanks for caring!!!

 

Just keep doing what you are doing Lull. I think you are in a great position for things to work out. Much better than mine.

 

Me, I guess I still had issues trusting my ex, and I also realized that even if we got back together we would both have to do some serious talking which she hates. Now I think I was happy to make some changes, but my ex? I really do not think that she would, so here's the thing. Even if the other night would have been perfect and we got back together, then I believe that other issues would have come up, and I would have wanted to talk them through, and she would not have.

 

I will say that I felt like I had stubbed a toe somewhat yesterday:sick:, I was a little upset about the proceedings, but at the end of the day, why go backwards when you can move forward? I was still happy, and I am happy today.

 

I think my point is this, you have to be totally sure you want to try, and part of finding that out is by actually trying to makeup. Sooner or later something will happen that will tell you for sure, that this is something to either follow or give up on.

 

I chose to give up. Either way you win. Especially if you have done most of your grieving.

 

Sure there's a piece that will miss that person, but you have perspective, and you can function.

 

I do know this I wont be going around again with this girl.

 

[lullaby]

Hey!!! The date has been fixed yesterday afternoon! We were sending each other emails as every single day from the past three days (

) and I mentioned that I had already talked to my boss about quitting, so he congratulated me and said "well, ok, let's fix a day so we can meet and you'll tell me all about this new job. Saturday afternoon?" So that's it!!! We're meeting tomorrow afternoon!!!! I don't know if we're going out or what, the weather is awful here and it's cold but who knows right?

 

I'm relaxed though, I'm trying not to get my hopes high and work with what happens at the moment.

 

I'll keep you posted!!!!

 

Btw, I'm glad you're doing better. So you never talked to your ex again?

It's interesting that you notice that you still may have some trusting issues with her. It would have been really complicated and tough for you to work things out with her if you still can't trust her completely. I don't know, I think it would be hard. Perhaps you need more time, who knows? you never know what's going to happen tomorrow, right? in the meantime, it's good that you're recovering yourself from it, analyzing how you feel and the thoughts that come to your mind so you can come up with a better understanding of the whole experiencie for future times!

 

Wish you the best! Let's keep in touch, ok? I will still have to fill you in with the details of my everyday story LOL!!!