Met with ex bf after 1 month! Sunday! what happened!!!!

[lullaby]

Let me fill you in with my situation now. Where was I? Oh right, the text on Monday, he sent me that and there it finished, it was just a simple text.

 

Then, I knew he had an exam yesterday afternoon so I sent him an email wishing him luck (shouldn't have done that maybe) and asked him to confirm his presence at my birthday, because I needed to make the reservations. He replied thanking me for the good wishes and said he will come but after dinner (my birthday is on Sunday actually, of course the idea is to have dinner at a disco and then dance there). I knew it was going to be difficult for him to come to dinner with all my friends when they ALL know my situation with him and it was going to be awkward!! I do hope he comes, he said he would. And that's all I have for now.

 

I get a bit down at moments, because it's like I get too excited too soon about things and expect more from him, but then when I think about it, we're taking it slow, I don't need to be so dependent on him, right?

But it's so damn hard!!!!!!! I was hoping to receive an email from him today but nothing so far. I won't contact him again. He has another exam tomorrow but I won't do a thing. I'm kinda angry, don't know exactly why, well, I do know. I was hoping him to call me or something by now

 

Sometimes I wonder whether if I'm doing the right thing, I'm so afraid to have false hopes.

Anyway, it's fine, it's the road I decided to take and now I have to see where it goes. There's nothing set on stone, right? The die is cast and I can't chicken now. We've reached this far!!!!

It's just that I'd love him to be more opened to me and decide once and for all to get back (he truly had decided that because he contacted me), I'm getting tired of these games really.

 

Let's see how this goes!!

 

Thanks for reading!

[supersub]

Let me fill you in with my situation now. Where was I? Oh right, the text on Monday, he sent me that and there it finished, it was just a simple text.

 

Then, I knew he had an exam yesterday afternoon so I sent him an email wishing him luck (shouldn't have done that maybe) and asked him to confirm his presence at my birthday, because I needed to make the reservations. He replied thanking me for the good wishes and said he will come but after dinner (my birthday is on Sunday actually, of course the idea is to have dinner at a disco and then dance there). I knew it was going to be difficult for him to come to dinner with all my friends when they ALL know my situation with him and it was going to be awkward!! I do hope he comes, he said he would. And that's all I have for now.

 

I get a bit down at moments, because it's like I get too excited too soon about things and expect more from him, but then when I think about it, we're taking it slow, I don't need to be so dependent on him, right?

But it's so damn hard!!!!!!! I was hoping to receive an email from him today but nothing so far. I won't contact him again. He has another exam tomorrow but I won't do a thing. I'm kinda angry, don't know exactly why, well, I do know. I was hoping him to call me or something by now

 

Sometimes I wonder whether if I'm doing the right thing, I'm so afraid to have false hopes.

Anyway, it's fine, it's the road I decided to take and now I have to see where it goes. There's nothing set on stone, right? The die is cast and I can't chicken now. We've reached this far!!!!

It's just that I'd love him to be more opened to me and decide once and for all to get back (he truly had decided that because he contacted me), I'm getting tired of these games really.

 

Let's see how this goes!!

 

Thanks for reading!

 

Hopefully all went well. As we said prior its always difficult in this strange time when you are hoping to rekindle. Hopefully everything has gone well and I should be hearing about it soon. Its not so much of a game as just individuals trying to protect their pride. Imagine if we had no pride in these circumstances? We would all be back with or ex's. Strange thought that really.

 

I've had a busy memorial day so that is why I'm only just getting back. Got out of town with friends so that was a good thing.

 

The text she sent? It was for someone else. I don't even remember what it said. I just responded with a question mark and she said 'sorry' and that was it. Nothing else has happened since then. I dont expect any incredible moments either. There are these periods of emptiness, but that's all.

 

I've had a few moments this weekend. Moments where I wonder how she could discard me so easily, but to be honest they don't make me weep, just make me wonder at times.

 

As for her coming back around again I have this to say. If it does happen, it would take a twist of fate or act of God similar to a climactic scene from a romantic movie, and I have to be honest. I don't see it happening.

 

Me moving on 99%

 

Her coming back 0.5%

 

Her begging to come back 0.5%

 

Do you?

 

Ha ha.

 

Supersub:laugh:

[lullaby]

Hi Sup! Sup the man is back!

Glad to hear you've been out with friends enjoying and having a good time!!

 

As for her, yes, it's what we've been saying all along. If she does come back, she needs to offer her everything, 100%, till the last drop of breath, so you both can try again, otherwise, it's not worth the effort because you're moving on and there's no point in loosing what you've accomplished. You're going to have more of those moments, we all do, but the important thing is know it's just a moment, and that as time goes by, each moment will hurt less and less, and then it won't even bother. Congrats for thinking that way!!!!

 

As for me... well, we hooked up in the end He came Saturday night. He spent the whole night with me and my friends at the pub, having fun, which was quite heavy for him regarding that all my friends knew about our situation and he stood and put up with it with maturity actually. We danced, laughed, and then he offered to take me home and I asked him to come up for coffee, it was already 6 am. We talked for hours, really, and there was no physical contact. Only silly glances, jokes, smiles...

 

At one moment, he asks "How are you feeling? Emotionally speaking". And I said I was Ok, that I was better and stable and more relaxed. He replied "Good. That's what I wanted to hear. I couldn't have come otherwise. I'm better too, and we'll both have time to talk about what happened when the moment is right" Good answer, right?

 

It was already 8 am by now, so... well... we ended talking in bed, dressed up and all, but couldn't stop talking about life, everything, really like old times. Until at one moment he kissed me... oh God! it was just so sweet... and you know what happened, don't need to tell you. Things got out of control a bit, but it was as sweet as ever, gentle and delicate. We slept together, then woke up, he made "breakfast" at 2pm! LOL! he said he had had a great time, that time would tell but that he needed me in his life. We spent the afternoon together and then he left because we both had other things to do.

 

He then sent me a text Sunday night, wishing me good night. I sent him an email yesterday and he then called me because he couldn't reply my email during the day So... how do you see it?

 

Of course I'm happy, excited and can't believe we're finally on the road towards getting back. It's still tough, because I don't want to cross any boundarie, but it's going great.

Don't know what is going to happen, and if it was ok to have sex or not, but we both needed it, we felt it, and it was not "one night hook up", it was more than that.

 

So there is my update, hope you'd enjoyed it and let me know what you think!

 

Proud of you Sup!

[supersub]

Hi Sup! Sup the man is back!

Glad to hear you've been out with friends enjoying and having a good time!!

 

As for her, yes, it's what we've been saying all along. If she does come back, she needs to offer her everything, 100%, till the last drop of breath, so you both can try again, otherwise, it's not worth the effort because you're moving on and there's no point in loosing what you've accomplished. You're going to have more of those moments, we all do, but the important thing is know it's just a moment, and that as time goes by, each moment will hurt less and less, and then it won't even bother. Congrats for thinking that way!!!!

 

As for me... well, we hooked up in the end He came Saturday night. He spent the whole night with me and my friends at the pub, having fun, which was quite heavy for him regarding that all my friends knew about our situation and he stood and put up with it with maturity actually. We danced, laughed, and then he offered to take me home and I asked him to come up for coffee, it was already 6 am. We talked for hours, really, and there was no physical contact. Only silly glances, jokes, smiles...

 

At one moment, he asks "How are you feeling? Emotionally speaking". And I said I was Ok, that I was better and stable and more relaxed. He replied "Good. That's what I wanted to hear. I couldn't have come otherwise. I'm better too, and we'll both have time to talk about what happened when the moment is right" Good answer, right?

 

It was already 8 am by now, so... well... we ended talking in bed, dressed up and all, but couldn't stop talking about life, everything, really like old times. Until at one moment he kissed me... oh God! it was just so sweet... and you know what happened, don't need to tell you. Things got out of control a bit, but it was as sweet as ever, gentle and delicate. We slept together, then woke up, he made "breakfast" at 2pm! LOL! he said he had had a great time, that time would tell but that he needed me in his life. We spent the afternoon together and then he left because we both had other things to do.

 

He then sent me a text Sunday night, wishing me good night. I sent him an email yesterday and he then called me because he couldn't reply my email during the day So... how do you see it?

 

Of course I'm happy, excited and can't believe we're finally on the road towards getting back. It's still tough, because I don't want to cross any boundarie, but it's going great.

Don't know what is going to happen, and if it was ok to have sex or not, but we both needed it, we felt it, and it was not "one night hook up", it was more than that.

 

So there is my update, hope you'd enjoyed it and let me know what you think!

 

Proud of you Sup!

 

Seems good, but he needs to clarify in what way he is going to be in your life, wouldn't you agree? It does seem there is more to it, but try to find out in what way he means. Know what I mean?

 

Yes things are okay here.

 

There seem to be a few girls interested which is always good. Taking it in my stride.

 

There is one that a friend of mine introduced me too, and she is very pretty. Little feisty. Good humor, hopefully will meet up with her again soon. She apparently asked about me a few weeks ago so it can't be bad.

 

Elsewhere just staying busy and working out as much as I can.

 

How do you feel Lull? How do yo feel deep down this is going for you?

 

Sup.

[lullaby]

Hi Sup!

 

Good! Dating is going to boost your confidence even more! and it's gonna help you a lot! Hope everything goes well with this girl, or another, who knows? there is no one brinding you down now!

 

Yes, I see what you mean. I didn't want to ask because I don't think it's time yet. Actually, when we started kissing he said "not sure if I'm ready to have such a shocking moment, but I can't stand being apart from you". And I said I didn't know either, because although I know I love him and want him back, I need to trust again and deliver myself 100%, and I'm not there yet.

I feel good, I'm happy and smiling. Things are falling into place, work, love, but I do know it need to be real and concentrate.

I now know I can call him, or text him without thinking that much, just letting it happen.

I can't tell what he feels or thinks because everything changed after we slept together. Whatever reason or idea we had, it was replaced by another one because we never thought we would end up at my place staying together.

 

What you mean is that he has to be sincere and honest and if he wants me in his life, he has to be clear and let me know if we're going to be a couple, if we're just fooling around or what. But I do see him in love, and don't think he is taking it lightly, just messing around, he's too cautious about what he says, how he acts, so I don't get mixed signals. Can't blame him for that!

 

I guess I'll wait to see him next time (probably this weekend), and if the moment comes, I'll ask him and see where do we take it from here.

 

I sense it's like the beginning, when you're just flirting, and trying to seduce the other one, and can't wait for the weekend to come so you meet him! it's exactly like that.

 

Does it make sense?

[supersub]

Hi Sup!

 

Good! Dating is going to boost your confidence even more! and it's gonna help you a lot! Hope everything goes well with this girl, or another, who knows? there is no one brinding you down now!

 

Yes, I see what you mean. I didn't want to ask because I don't think it's time yet. Actually, when we started kissing he said "not sure if I'm ready to have such a shocking moment, but I can't stand being apart from you". And I said I didn't know either, because although I know I love him and want him back, I need to trust again and deliver myself 100%, and I'm not there yet.

I feel good, I'm happy and smiling. Things are falling into place, work, love, but I do know it need to be real and concentrate.

I now know I can call him, or text him without thinking that much, just letting it happen.

I can't tell what he feels or thinks because everything changed after we slept together. Whatever reason or idea we had, it was replaced by another one because we never thought we would end up at my place staying together.

 

What you mean is that he has to be sincere and honest and if he wants me in his life, he has to be clear and let me know if we're going to be a couple, if we're just fooling around or what. But I do see him in love, and don't think he is taking it lightly, just messing around, he's too cautious about what he says, how he acts, so I don't get mixed signals. Can't blame him for that!

 

I guess I'll wait to see him next time (probably this weekend), and if the moment comes, I'll ask him and see where do we take it from here.

 

I sense it's like the beginning, when you're just flirting, and trying to seduce the other one, and can't wait for the weekend to come so you meet him! it's exactly like that.

 

Does it make sense?

 

I can understand you need to take some time to figure it out what he meant by that. And you should, just wanted you to be aware.

 

Yes it does make sense. A new beginning. Kind of how I felt on a date a few weeks ago with my ex. That's a wonderful feeling! Keep it natural!

 

You know..

 

I'm not doing well today. I have no clue what is going on with me. I don't want her back, but there is this gaping void inside of me, and I cannot seem to get rid of this feeling. I just want it gone.

 

I don't know if its because I feel suckered by her, and then rejected, and that's what makes me feel like this.

 

I can function. I can get out, I can exercise whatever no problem. I don't tend to sit and mope, but right now? Something is wrong. Its like these clouds won't lift and I don't like feelings I don't understand.

 

Ive never been confused in my life. I'm the sort of bloke who knows what he wants and goes after it. I have zest and I'm a go getter. What has happened to that guy? I liked him!

 

I feel like a photocopy of myself today. Heck I know you can never understand complex human relationships, despite them all having the same familiar ring to them, but how about some peace of mind from all of this stuff. Its all relative after all isn't it?

 

I know one thing I regret the attempt at reconciliation now. Its set me back and done more harm than good.

 

Though I am no where near where I was in December, I actually feel slightly depressed. This is not good. Not good at all.

 

Wheres the Prozac!

 

(Still have to try and laugh!)

[lullaby]

I can understand you need to take some time to figure it out what he meant by that. And you should, just wanted you to be aware.

 

Yes it does make sense. A new beginning. Kind of how I felt on a date a few weeks ago with my ex. That's a wonderful feeling! Keep it natural!

 

You know..

 

I'm not doing well today. I have no clue what is going on with me. I don't want her back, but there is this gaping void inside of me, and I cannot seem to get rid of this feeling. I just want it gone.

 

I don't know if its because I feel suckered by her, and then rejected, and that's what makes me feel like this.

 

I can function. I can get out, I can exercise whatever no problem. I don't tend to sit and mope, but right now? Something is wrong. Its like these clouds won't lift and I don't like feelings I don't understand.

 

Ive never been confused in my life. I'm the sort of bloke who knows what he wants and goes after it. I have zest and I'm a go getter. What has happened to that guy? I liked him!

 

I feel like a photocopy of myself today. Heck I know you can never understand complex human relationships, despite them all having the same familiar ring to them, but how about some peace of mind from all of this stuff. Its all relative after all isn't it?

 

I know one thing I regret the attempt at reconciliation now. Its set me back and done more harm than good.

 

Though I am no where near where I was in December, I actually feel slightly depressed. This is not good. Not good at all.

 

Wheres the Prozac!

 

(Still have to try and laugh!)

 

You know? I gotta be totally honest with you. I really thought you needed time to mourn and a moment of weakness of some sort at some moment, and here it is! Because what happened was the least simple!!!! I mean, of course you're going to feel a bit down, bit depressed, and you should allow those feelings to come, but don't let them sink you.

 

Even though you've already been through the most heartbreaking process in December, your feelings for her appeared again and you left yourself exposed to that new reconciliation, so there's no doubt you're going to sense bitterness and anger for not being able to work it out with her.

 

Anyhow, I can't help but to see positive things, because you tried, and you said it yourself, people usually go the easy way and say "close the door, move on, it never works out", but what if??? you now know it could have worked, but didn't, but at least you didn't dedicate a long time to it, just a couple of months of your life to see if you could salvage a relationship with someone you loved. Doesn't look that bad to me.

 

You're now struggling with the remaining feelings you once had in December, it's just that they came back haunting you because the situation resembles to that one, but it's different! YOU'RE A NEW PERSON NOW! Yes, it didn't work, so what? You're open to someone else now and that's a huge advance!!!!!

 

Stop trying to analyze the relationship, because as you put it, human relationships are complex! and they should be, otherwise, they wouldn't bring us so much joy when everything is working.

 

Don't want to sound like I know all, of course I don't!!! My God! I don't even know where is all going with my ex, we may never get back, but I'm trying and I'm happy now! and I know it's a hard process, with stones on the road, but I'll be able to jump them, and you did! You jumped the stones, stumbled a bit, but got up and worked on yourself.

 

No matter how you are, when it comes to love, your whole essence as a person transforms and you wouldn't believe the things you're capable of doing until you live them. All your strong qualities go down the drains when you're vulnerable and in love, what can you do?

 

Don't know if I helped, hope so...

[supersub]

You know? I gotta be totally honest with you. I really thought you needed time to mourn and a moment of weakness of some sort at some moment, and here it is! Because what happened was the least simple!!!! I mean, of course you're going to feel a bit down, bit depressed, and you should allow those feelings to come, but don't let them sink you.

 

Even though you've already been through the most heartbreaking process in December, your feelings for her appeared again and you left yourself exposed to that new reconciliation, so there's no doubt you're going to sense bitterness and anger for not being able to work it out with her.

 

Anyhow, I can't help but to see positive things, because you tried, and you said it yourself, people usually go the easy way and say "close the door, move on, it never works out", but what if??? you now know it could have worked, but didn't, but at least you didn't dedicate a long time to it, just a couple of months of your life to see if you could salvage a relationship with someone you loved. Doesn't look that bad to me.

 

You're now struggling with the remaining feelings you once had in December, it's just that they came back haunting you because the situation resembles to that one, but it's different! YOU'RE A NEW PERSON NOW! Yes, it didn't work, so what? You're open to someone else now and that's a huge advance!!!!!

 

Stop trying to analyze the relationship, because as you put it, human relationships are complex! and they should be, otherwise, they wouldn't bring us so much joy when everything is working.

 

Don't want to sound like I know all, of course I don't!!! My God! I don't even know where is all going with my ex, we may never get back, but I'm trying and I'm happy now! and I know it's a hard process, with stones on the road, but I'll be able to jump them, and you did! You jumped the stones, stumbled a bit, but got up and worked on yourself.

 

No matter how you are, when it comes to love, your whole essence as a person transforms and you wouldn't believe the things you're capable of doing until you live them. All your strong qualities go down the drains when you're vulnerable and in love, what can you do?

 

Don't know if I helped, hope so...

 

Thanks Lull, you really are a great friend on here. I really appreciate your thoughts. Proving once again that others are important. Sometimes you just need a light to shine the way.

 

You are right I guess it has set me back, but not to a terrible point.

 

I think the thought that is continually stuck in my head is this.

 

Why did she bother coming back, only to leave so quick and over something so stupid?

 

Guess I'll never know, and just need to accept that.

 

Feel better now. Its strange how this stuff can mess with your head. I know I'm so close to being at a point where my feelings for her will be totally flushed.

 

I know I'm going to come out stronger and show tremendous poise. I know that I will hold my head up, wear a confident smile always.

 

Just had a lapse today.

 

Of course my hopes for reconciliation for you and your ex are still strong. I think things are very, very hopeful, but don't you find things go so much slower in a reconnect?

 

I think that frustrated me the most, so I say to you be a little more patient than I was, if this is truly what you want.

 

Thanks again for the thoughtful words, you helped me through today and I really appreciate it.

 

Best,

 

Sup

[lullaby]

Thanks Lull, you really are a great friend on here. I really appreciate your thoughts. Proving once again that others are important. Sometimes you just need a light to shine the way.

 

You are right I guess it has set me back, but not to a terrible point.

 

I think the thought that is continually stuck in my head is this.

 

Why did she bother coming back, only to leave so quick and over something so stupid?

 

Guess I'll never know, and just need to accept that.

 

Feel better now. Its strange how this stuff can mess with your head. I know I'm so close to being at a point where my feelings for her will be totally flushed.

 

I know I'm going to come out stronger and show tremendous poise. I know that I will hold my head up, wear a confident smile always.

 

Just had a lapse today.

 

Of course my hopes for reconciliation for you and your ex are still strong. I think things are very, very hopeful, but don't you find things go so much slower in a reconnect?

 

I think that frustrated me the most, so I say to you be a little more patient than I was, if this is truly what you want.

 

Thanks again for the thoughtful words, you helped me through today and I really appreciate it.

 

Best,

 

Sup

 

 

Thanks Sup! You really helped me too so it's mutual

 

It's time and you'll feel better sooner than not! you'll see!

 

I think it was probably a failure for her too, and she must also be wondering why it didn't work out.

 

She came back because she still had feelings for you, that's for sure, but perhaps was not ready to get back together.

 

One always has feelings and will always see that someone as special, which doesn't mean that you're still in love with that person. Perhaps, that's what happened, and she realized she loved you but was not ready to commit as you deserved, you confessed you were a little anxious, and she may not haven known how to handle that. Don't know, could have been right?

 

Yes! It's really slow!!! I don't know why the process is like this, but of course, we can't go back to the way we were in an instant.

 

now, for example. I haven't heard from him yet, and I'm dying to see if we're meeting this weekend or what! I texted him yesterday morning wishing him a good day, and he replied kindly and that was all. No news today, but I'm not supposed to think we're gonna connect every single day! I guess I'll wait till tomorrow and contact him and see how the weekend comes, right? What do you think?

 

Because, on the one hand, I don't want to sound eager to see him or needy, but on the other, he already knows how I feel, and he decided to reconnect, so I'm not to blame for contacting him. He's a big guy and knows where he's getting into, right?

And besides, I know he loves attention and silly details, and perhaps he's waiting for me to do something because he already came to my party, called me, stayed.... ahhhhh!!!!! I'm crazy today!

 

Let me know how you're doing!!

[supersub]

Thanks Sup! You really helped me too so it's mutual

 

It's time and you'll feel better sooner than not! you'll see!

 

I think it was probably a failure for her too, and she must also be wondering why it didn't work out.

 

She came back because she still had feelings for you, that's for sure, but perhaps was not ready to get back together.

 

One always has feelings and will always see that someone as special, which doesn't mean that you're still in love with that person. Perhaps, that's what happened, and she realized she loved you but was not ready to commit as you deserved, you confessed you were a little anxious, and she may not haven known how to handle that. Don't know, could have been right?

 

Yes! It's really slow!!! I don't know why the process is like this, but of course, we can't go back to the way we were in an instant.

 

now, for example. I haven't heard from him yet, and I'm dying to see if we're meeting this weekend or what! I texted him yesterday morning wishing him a good day, and he replied kindly and that was all. No news today, but I'm not supposed to think we're gonna connect every single day! I guess I'll wait till tomorrow and contact him and see how the weekend comes, right? What do you think?

 

Because, on the one hand, I don't want to sound eager to see him or needy, but on the other, he already knows how I feel, and he decided to reconnect, so I'm not to blame for contacting him. He's a big guy and knows where he's getting into, right?

And besides, I know he loves attention and silly details, and perhaps he's waiting for me to do something because he already came to my party, called me, stayed.... ahhhhh!!!!! I'm crazy today!

 

Let me know how you're doing!!

 

Yes thats the hard part isnt it? Its the fact that you are well aware that the process is not like when you met the first time. The second time you slow it down because you have to, but it feels a little artificial, and that's the hard part. You are not at a comfort level yet, the attraction is there, but the relationship is not quite. I know that feeling.

 

Don't second guess, I think leave it a few days then contact. There is no harm in that at all.

 

Well I do have some news. A friend called me late last night, and is trying to see if I can get the day off tomorrow to go to an adventure park (Roller-coasters and the like) I'm just awaiting confirmation to get the time off, but the text basically read. "Hello bud, want to go to (Adventure park name) with me my girlfriend and a load of her girlfriends?"

 

I was like. Erm Theme park+me+girls = yeah!

 

Fingers crossed I get to go.

 

RE: My ex, there are a thousand possibilities, and I'm not in hope that she will come back. I think there are still feelings there even today from her side. However its not my concern anymore.

 

[lullaby]

Yes thats the hard part isnt it? Its the fact that you are well aware that the process is not like when you met the first time. The second time you slow it down because you have to, but it feels a little artificial, and that's the hard part. You are not at a comfort level yet, the attraction is there, but the relationship is not quite. I know that feeling.

 

Don't second guess, I think leave it a few days then contact. There is no harm in that at all.

 

Well I do have some news. A friend called me late last night, and is trying to see if I can get the day off tomorrow to go to an adventure park (Roller-coasters and the like) I'm just awaiting confirmation to get the time off, but the text basically read. "Hello bud, want to go to (Adventure park name) with me my girlfriend and a load of her girlfriends?"

 

I was like. Erm Theme park+me+girls = yeah!

 

Fingers crossed I get to go.

 

RE: My ex, there are a thousand possibilities, and I'm not in hope that she will come back. I think there are still feelings there even today from her side. However its not my concern anymore.

 

 

Hey Sup!! Good for you!!! Let me know if you go the amusement park then! and about the girls! Have a great time and use it to liberate all those negative feelings and thoughts that have been bombing your mind, ok? They say amusement parks are a great way to release energy and renovate, did you know??? so this just fits!

 

And as regards your ex, of course there are tons of possibilities but as you put it, it's not your concern anymore.

 

According to my stuff, yes, you're right. I'm not in a comfort zone yet, because even though I see many signs that show he wants to get back, or when I remember all the reconnection process, he did a lot of things, calls, texts, emails, even came to my party this weekend when he had other places to go (he said he had 2 other invitations from friends to go out), but then, whenever there's a day he doesn't appear, I get scared again and I hate it!!!

 

And I get eager and anxious, but at the same time, I'm starting to recognize certain things I used to do that were wrong. For example, I talk a lot and real fast, and sometimes I don't even listen to what other people say, and my ex hates that, but now I see it was not just that, it's that I sometimes forget details about our relationship or his life, and now I'm beginning to remember the little details because I worked on myself. So, my point is that I shouldn't be this anxious coz these things help me to change, and may help him to see what he did wrong from his part, right?

 

Anyway, let's see. I'm sending him an email tomorrow, something light and casual to test the waters for the weekend.

 

Wish me luck!!!

[supersub]

Hey Sup!! Good for you!!! Let me know if you go the amusement park then! and about the girls! Have a great time and use it to liberate all those negative feelings and thoughts that have been bombing your mind, ok? They say amusement parks are a great way to release energy and renovate, did you know??? so this just fits!

 

And as regards your ex, of course there are tons of possibilities but as you put it, it's not your concern anymore.

 

According to my stuff, yes, you're right. I'm not in a comfort zone yet, because even though I see many signs that show he wants to get back, or when I remember all the reconnection process, he did a lot of things, calls, texts, emails, even came to my party this weekend when he had other places to go (he said he had 2 other invitations from friends to go out), but then, whenever there's a day he doesn't appear, I get scared again and I hate it!!!

 

And I get eager and anxious, but at the same time, I'm starting to recognize certain things I used to do that were wrong. For example, I talk a lot and real fast, and sometimes I don't even listen to what other people say, and my ex hates that, but now I see it was not just that, it's that I sometimes forget details about our relationship or his life, and now I'm beginning to remember the little details because I worked on myself. So, my point is that I shouldn't be this anxious coz these things help me to change, and may help him to see what he did wrong from his part, right?

 

Anyway, let's see. I'm sending him an email tomorrow, something light and casual to test the waters for the weekend.

 

Wish me luck!!!

 

Hey that's great you are realizing things you did wrong. You will get to apply what you have learned. To listen a little more. That's a good thing. If he does the same then all will be fine.

 

Its hard, but just stick with it. It will be okay.

 

Didn't get to go to theme park, as some people pulled out last minute but I still took the day off, about to have lunch with a friend.

 

Thought about her today, but still feel the same, dont plan to try and get back, will not contact.

 

Its just the times where you are alone that will think about that person. I still feel like she has unfinished business. I'm not bothered if she is with someone else, In fact it would be a great thing if she is, because it will mean it certainly isn't my issue any more.

 

Good luck for the weekend. Keep me informed.

 

Sup.

[lullaby]

Hey that's great you are realizing things you did wrong. You will get to apply what you have learned. To listen a little more. That's a good thing. If he does the same then all will be fine.

 

Its hard, but just stick with it. It will be okay.

 

Didn't get to go to theme park, as some people pulled out last minute but I still took the day off, about to have lunch with a friend.

 

Thought about her today, but still feel the same, dont plan to try and get back, will not contact.

 

Its just the times where you are alone that will think about that person. I still feel like she has unfinished business. I'm not bothered if she is with someone else, In fact it would be a great thing if she is, because it will mean it certainly isn't my issue any more.

 

Good luck for the weekend. Keep me informed.

 

Sup.

 

Hi Sup!!! How are you doing today?

Hope you're great! I totally understand that feeling when you're alone, it's the worst moment because you sense that empty void, but it's good that you're not expecting anything from her, it's not your problem anymore, at least, not for now

 

Any other news??

 

Me and my ex... well. I don't know. Let's see if you can share some insight with me. I sent him the email on Thursday, right? it was light and casual. He didn't reply, and yesterday afternoon he called me home (didn't call my cel, I figured he wanted to know if I was home since it was Friday), but I was out having my farewell party with my co-workers. So I called him today, just an hour ago (midday). He said he wanted to thank me for the email, that he loved it, and preferred to call me instead, but never thought I would be out LOL! So we talked a bit, and he then mentioned he had a project to do for the uni (which I already knew off) and said that we could meet tomorrow afternoon (Sunday) to have a coffee or something, that he wanted to finish with this project. Besides, he mentioned he was going to help a friend with his new work tonight. He makes improvisation theater and needed a hand so my ex is going to help him.

 

OK, he never promised we would meet tonight, it was all in my head, so I can't blame him, right?

But I do sense he's loosing interest, I don't know. Perhaps it's just me and it's the other way around. I sense he's restricting himself so as not to show what he really feels, because he did say he wanted to see me and that he loved my email and would like to meet me, and mentioned the great night we had last week, but I don't know...

 

He did ask if I had plans for today and I said I had a lot to study just like him, but nothing else.

 

I guess I'll wait till tomorrow and see. I won't contact him, he said he would text me and we would arrange to meet.

 

One thing though, when we were about to break the conversation, he noticed I was a bit "mad" (he reads me perfectly) and said "I have the feeling that there's something you want to say to me", am.. yeah! probably that I was hoping we would meet tonight because I want you!!! LOL! :Dthat's what I thought of course!! but never said a word, just answered "no, why? is there something to say? we'll talk later, don't worry", but he definitely felt I was not happy with the way things were going.

 

Now, my question is, besides sharing your insight with me about the situation, I'd like to know if I should talk about something in particular when we meet (if we meet), because I don't want to waste my time Sup. It's been almost a month since he first contacted and started to talk again, and I want to know if we're on the path towards reconciliation or not. I'm not up for a game, I'm putting my all to it but I do sense I'M loosing "interest" to put it in a way, I do want him back but don't want to wait much longer for him to tell me if he wants me back or not. What do you think? Am I being to anxious???? I'm afraid I will continue loosing interest if he keeps acting like this. I mean, it's ok, he is going slow, but I don't know.....

 

Let's see! Thanks for reading. I'm needing your help!!

[2sunny]

IF he wants to see you - he will. since he's not making this his TOP priority - just understand that his top priority is not YOU.

 

you wanted to tell him you would like to see him tonight... what's wrong with honesty? tell him.

 

words should equal action.

 

if YOU expect to see him - say so.

 

since he didn't say he plans to see you tonight = he has other priorities.

 

 

if it were me - i'd stay really busy... having fun. IF and when he might want to make me the top priority - HE would need to be clear about making sure he made time for me.

 

 

this is clear - he has other things going on and you are an after thought. that isn't enough... and don't allow him to think that it is.

[2sunny]

It's been almost a month since he first contacted and started to talk again, and I want to know if we're on the path towards reconciliation or not.

 

this is not what a path of reconciliation looks like. what you have described looks like a man that's hanging around checking in with you when he doesn't have anything else going on.

 

 

expect more = or you will settle for a guy that pays attention to you when it's slightly convenient for him.

[lullaby]

this is not what a path of reconciliation looks like. what you have described looks like a man that's hanging around checking in with you when he doesn't have anything else going on.

 

 

expect more = or you will settle for a guy that pays attention to you when it's slightly convenient for him.

 

Yeah, I see what you mean, and get your point, but it's not quite like that actually. Not that I'm fooling myself, but we already had a few dates, he came to my birthday last week and stayed all night with me and my friends who looked at him like asking "why is he here?" and I never contacted him until he did.

I won't settle for this, of course, but it's confusing at times because he did show a lot of genuine interest in me this past month.

It's just that I thought we would meet tonight, he never said so, he did say he wanted to go slow and start to get to know each other again, and that doesn't mean we're supposed to meet every Saturday night, right?

 

Thanks for posting! it helps to have more opinions about it.

[2sunny]

Yeah, I see what you mean, and get your point, but it's not quite like that actually. Not that I'm fooling myself, but we already had a few dates, he came to my birthday last week and stayed all night with me and my friends who looked at him like asking "why is he here?" and I never contacted him until he did.

I won't settle for this, of course, but it's confusing at times because he did show a lot of genuine interest in me this past month.

It's just that I thought we would meet tonight, he never said so, he did say he wanted to go slow and start to get to know each other again, and that doesn't mean we're supposed to meet every Saturday night, right?

 

Thanks for posting! it helps to have more opinions about it.

 

bottom line is - he's still not totally making an effort for YOU! IF he wanted to see you tonight he would have = but he doesn't want that = so he didn't line that up ahead of time.

 

sooooo, IF he calls at the last minute and tries to see you now - tell him NO. get busy being busy and having fun on your own. IF he wants to see you, make him ask ahead of time - then determine IF you want to change your plans to make time for him. since he thinks you're not that busy - he thinks he can call you IF he's bored with what he has going on or finishes having fun with someone else first... this isn't good enough - it's not enough effort for a man that's truly interested.

 

we train people how to treat us - don't train him to think he doesn't need to be making 200% effort for you. if he gets the idea that you are available to him as an after thought = that's exactly what his mind thinks you are.

[supersub]

Hi Sup!!! How are you doing today?

Hope you're great! I totally understand that feeling when you're alone, it's the worst moment because you sense that empty void, but it's good that you're not expecting anything from her, it's not your problem anymore, at least, not for now

 

Any other news??

 

Me and my ex... well. I don't know. Let's see if you can share some insight with me. I sent him the email on Thursday, right? it was light and casual. He didn't reply, and yesterday afternoon he called me home (didn't call my cel, I figured he wanted to know if I was home since it was Friday), but I was out having my farewell party with my co-workers. So I called him today, just an hour ago (midday). He said he wanted to thank me for the email, that he loved it, and preferred to call me instead, but never thought I would be out LOL! So we talked a bit, and he then mentioned he had a project to do for the uni (which I already knew off) and said that we could meet tomorrow afternoon (Sunday) to have a coffee or something, that he wanted to finish with this project. Besides, he mentioned he was going to help a friend with his new work tonight. He makes improvisation theater and needed a hand so my ex is going to help him.

 

OK, he never promised we would meet tonight, it was all in my head, so I can't blame him, right?

But I do sense he's loosing interest, I don't know. Perhaps it's just me and it's the other way around. I sense he's restricting himself so as not to show what he really feels, because he did say he wanted to see me and that he loved my email and would like to meet me, and mentioned the great night we had last week, but I don't know...

 

He did ask if I had plans for today and I said I had a lot to study just like him, but nothing else.

 

I guess I'll wait till tomorrow and see. I won't contact him, he said he would text me and we would arrange to meet.

 

One thing though, when we were about to break the conversation, he noticed I was a bit "mad" (he reads me perfectly) and said "I have the feeling that there's something you want to say to me", am.. yeah! probably that I was hoping we would meet tonight because I want you!!! LOL! :Dthat's what I thought of course!! but never said a word, just answered "no, why? is there something to say? we'll talk later, don't worry", but he definitely felt I was not happy with the way things were going.

 

Now, my question is, besides sharing your insight with me about the situation, I'd like to know if I should talk about something in particular when we meet (if we meet), because I don't want to waste my time Sup. It's been almost a month since he first contacted and started to talk again, and I want to know if we're on the path towards reconciliation or not. I'm not up for a game, I'm putting my all to it but I do sense I'M loosing "interest" to put it in a way, I do want him back but don't want to wait much longer for him to tell me if he wants me back or not. What do you think? Am I being to anxious???? I'm afraid I will continue loosing interest if he keeps acting like this. I mean, it's ok, he is going slow, but I don't know.....

 

Let's see! Thanks for reading. I'm needing your help!!

 

Hi Lull,

 

Yeah, this is where I got to. I got tired of the monotony of the reconnect. Part of you wants to ask "Are we reconnecting or what?"

 

You got to remember the guard is raised in this situation. I don't believe that anyone ever begs to come back because of pride, you have to find out if you are truly reconnecting or not and do it in a way to do that where you don't rock the boat.

 

Maybe you could ask him what he wants. I know that's what I did and she ran for the hills, but at the very least I got my answer.

 

I think both parties are interested here, but both are also playing it cool. Remember my post 'How cool is coldness" ? I posted that because there is always a concern that when you play it too cool, you can go cold. That's the minefield that is this situation. If we could get around pride, strip it away. We would have a much better idea of what is going on.

 

Just ask him, what he is looking for from the situation with you, and do it in a way that stresses that your time is valuable.

 

Me?

 

Well I just went to the pool. Went out last night with a few friends for dinner, and I'm just happy being in this holding point. There is nobody on the horizon right now, but I don't feel bothered by it. I'm just biding my time. I feel like something great is about to happen, I just have this gut feeling that the tides gonna turn soon.

 

She is slowly fading into obscurity, and that is a good thing. At some point she will be some distant memory.

 

Supposed to go out again tonight, and I have a soccer game tomorrow.

 

How are you doing? Are you okay?

[lullaby]

Hi Lull,

 

Yeah, this is where I got to. I got tired of the monotony of the reconnect. Part of you wants to ask "Are we reconnecting or what?"

 

You got to remember the guard is raised in this situation. I don't believe that anyone ever begs to come back because of pride, you have to find out if you are truly reconnecting or not and do it in a way to do that where you don't rock the boat.

 

Maybe you could ask him what he wants. I know that's what I did and she ran for the hills, but at the very least I got my answer.

 

I think both parties are interested here, but both are also playing it cool. Remember my post 'How cool is coldness" ? I posted that because there is always a concern that when you play it too cool, you can go cold. That's the minefield that is this situation. If we could get around pride, strip it away. We would have a much better idea of what is going on.

 

Just ask him, what he is looking for from the situation with you, and do it in a way that stresses that your time is valuable.

 

Me?

 

Well I just went to the pool. Went out last night with a few friends for dinner, and I'm just happy being in this holding point. There is nobody on the horizon right now, but I don't feel bothered by it. I'm just biding my time. I feel like something great is about to happen, I just have this gut feeling that the tides gonna turn soon.

 

She is slowly fading into obscurity, and that is a good thing. At some point she will be some distant memory.

 

Supposed to go out again tonight, and I have a soccer game tomorrow.

 

How are you doing? Are you okay?

 

As I put it, can't thank you enough for being here.

 

Yes, you were right on the mark with the monotony of the reconnection process. It feels I'm doing the same over and over again, playing these silly games with excuses for us to meet, to talk, an email, a call, a text, whatever, and we always end up in the same place= limbo!!!!

 

I'm OK, no near depression, nothing at all, I'm stronger than before and know where I got myself into, but he really strikes me every time we talk. I was talking to a friend today and we got to the conclusion that he's more strategist than me and that takes me aback so I'm left with nothing to do or say because of pride and fear.

 

It's exactly as you put it. I feel like walking on eggshells or in a minefield and don't know when everything is going to explode and end, or the other way around (which would be to get back together once and for all). Why is he appearing? calling me? coming to my birthday if reconciliation is not on his mind, right? It's not that I'm always initiating contact, not at all!!!!

 

I guess I'll ask him tomorrow if we meet, because I won't do a thing, he should contact me now. Besides, he knows me and already noticed I wanted to say something and didn't, so he knows the moment of THE question is about to come soon or later.

 

Let's see what happens tomorrow, but one thing is for sure, I won't continue this path if we're not towards something solid again. I'd rather move on like you and start anew. I don't think I'm ready to do that though, but don't stand things the way they are either so....

 

Clap clap clap for you! Great news she is slowly fading away.

 

Unfinished business or not, she's gone, and you're looking for someone new, and it will come, give it time. You know how these things are, when you least expect it...

 

Keep going out, having a good time. You're busy and not wasting your time, nothing bad can come out of that, right?

 

I'll let you know if there are news. I hope he calls tomorrow so we can meet.

 

Thank youuuuu!!!

[supersub]

As I put it, can't thank you enough for being here.

 

Yes, you were right on the mark with the monotony of the reconnection process. It feels I'm doing the same over and over again, playing these silly games with excuses for us to meet, to talk, an email, a call, a text, whatever, and we always end up in the same place= limbo!!!!

 

I'm OK, no near depression, nothing at all, I'm stronger than before and know where I got myself into, but he really strikes me every time we talk. I was talking to a friend today and we got to the conclusion that he's more strategist than me and that takes me aback so I'm left with nothing to do or say because of pride and fear.

 

It's exactly as you put it. I feel like walking on eggshells or in a minefield and don't know when everything is going to explode and end, or the other way around (which would be to get back together once and for all). Why is he appearing? calling me? coming to my birthday if reconciliation is not on his mind, right? It's not that I'm always initiating contact, not at all!!!!

 

I guess I'll ask him tomorrow if we meet, because I won't do a thing, he should contact me now. Besides, he knows me and already noticed I wanted to say something and didn't, so he knows the moment of THE question is about to come soon or later.

 

Let's see what happens tomorrow, but one thing is for sure, I won't continue this path if we're not towards something solid again. I'd rather move on like you and start anew. I don't think I'm ready to do that though, but don't stand things the way they are either so....

 

Clap clap clap for you! Great news she is slowly fading away.

 

Unfinished business or not, she's gone, and you're looking for someone new, and it will come, give it time. You know how these things are, when you least expect it...

 

Keep going out, having a good time. You're busy and not wasting your time, nothing bad can come out of that, right?

 

I'll let you know if there are news. I hope he calls tomorrow so we can meet.

 

Thank youuuuu!!!

 

Thanks Lull, someone appreciates me!

 

I guess wait and see if you are seeing him today, and then make a decision to do what you think is right. Either way let me know!

 

I totally understand as stated and what more can you say? Both of us know what a pain this stuff is, and in fact with hindsight I wished I had waited a few more months to try, because there was obviously still some issues there, but then on the other hand, maybe not. See? That's how confusing this stuff is. They had it right in the Eternal sunshine movie. Wish those memories could be erased!

 

Its funny. Ive been fine all weekend but today? Totally depressed, and its her! I cannot believe it! I just want it gone. she starts to fade away, then shes back in my mind again. I am just sick of the merry go round.

 

Let me know how your day goes.

 

Sup.

[lullaby]

Thanks Lull, someone appreciates me!

 

I guess wait and see if you are seeing him today, and then make a decision to do what you think is right. Either way let me know!

 

I totally understand as stated and what more can you say? Both of us know what a pain this stuff is, and in fact with hindsight I wished I had waited a few more months to try, because there was obviously still some issues there, but then on the other hand, maybe not. See? That's how confusing this stuff is. They had it right in the Eternal sunshine movie. Wish those memories could be erased!

 

Its funny. Ive been fine all weekend but today? Totally depressed, and its her! I cannot believe it! I just want it gone. she starts to fade away, then shes back in my mind again. I am just sick of the merry go round.

 

Let me know how your day goes.

 

Sup.

 

Oh Sup!! Don't be depressed, but hey, who am I to tell you how to feel? It's a process, we know it, and it has ups and downs.

 

I'm down too. Cried a bit today and hate it!!! Why is this so f*** hard???

Can't give you a magical advice to feel better, it just needs to pass and fade away more and more. You'll see. Remember: you've been fine a couple of days, and one down, doesn't look that bad, does it?

 

Me? Still no news of him, it's already 4pm here, don't know if he'll call or what. I doubt it. It's quite late already to meet 'in the afternoon' now, unless he decides to come at night...

 

I've been doing stuff for the uni though but it's starting to dawn on me and hurting me. I doubted whether to text him but I haven't so far. Did I get it wrong??? Am I supposed to be waiting for him to call??? What the f**?

What's even worse is that I have nothing to do, I mean, nothing planned. I do have to study a lot and can take advantage of the afternoon but besides that, nothing else....

 

I don't know what to do....

 

Hope you're doing better

[lullaby]

Well, he called an hour ago, we talked a lot. Really light and casual, and said he was still working on the project (he did call from his house because I got called ID), and said we would have to reschedule because he had to finish that.

Ok, at least he called. I'm better now, of course.

 

He did say one thing, we were talking about Christmas last year, about our presents, and he said "you're not going to give me a shirt again this year, right? I won't give you the same". Of course, these are not the exact words, but it was something as implying that we would spend Christmas together again, WTF???

 

Of course it made me happy, but see what I mean? He confuses me all the time!!!!!!!!

 

Anyway... that's about it. He still called, even though we're not meeting, and that's a good sign I guess...

 

He is sending me texts now because he doesn't want to work on the project but has to and is trying to concentrate LOL!

 

What do you make of it?

 

How are you, Sup?

[supersub]

Well, he called an hour ago, we talked a lot. Really light and casual, and said he was still working on the project (he did call from his house because I got called ID), and said we would have to reschedule because he had to finish that.

Ok, at least he called. I'm better now, of course.

 

He did say one thing, we were talking about Christmas last year, about our presents, and he said "you're not going to give me a shirt again this year, right? I won't give you the same". Of course, these are not the exact words, but it was something as implying that we would spend Christmas together again, WTF???

 

Of course it made me happy, but see what I mean? He confuses me all the time!!!!!!!!

 

Anyway... that's about it. He still called, even though we're not meeting, and that's a good sign I guess...

 

He is sending me texts now because he doesn't want to work on the project but has to and is trying to concentrate LOL!

 

What do you make of it?

 

How are you, Sup?

 

Well he did call and he said he would. So I think its still okay.

 

I guess the one question you have to ask yourself Lull is how much more of this can you take?

 

I mean that's what reconnecting is about isn't it? Putting yourself out emotionally.

 

You have to work very hard at it, and you have to decide for yourself if its worth it. You have taken on that responsibility. See it through. Go for it!

 

I think you should give it more time. I certainly think there is more positivism than my circumstances.

 

Im doing okay, but I will admit none of this makes sense to me anymore. I have never been in a situation like this in my life, and I think its more just that bizarre feeling you have. Its like 2 years of your life just decimated, and though you know the reasons, you think "Why cant we just have sorted it out?"

 

Still proud of my resolve. No contact. Not one drunk and dial or text (Ever I might add)

 

There have been times where I'm wondering..

 

Does she still think about me? Does she wonder how I am?

 

Not that it matters. I just need more time. Hopefully another month I think and I'm hoping (baring no incidents) that I will come through this awful funk that I am really resenting now.

 

So sick of it. Just want it gone. Its like Flu that won't go away.

[lullaby]

Well he did call and he said he would. So I think its still okay.

 

I guess the one question you have to ask yourself Lull is how much more of this can you take?

 

I mean that's what reconnecting is about isn't it? Putting yourself out emotionally.

 

You have to work very hard at it, and you have to decide for yourself if its worth it. You have taken on that responsibility. See it through. Go for it!

 

I think you should give it more time. I certainly think there is more positivism than my circumstances.

 

Im doing okay, but I will admit none of this makes sense to me anymore. I have never been in a situation like this in my life, and I think its more just that bizarre feeling you have. Its like 2 years of your life just decimated, and though you know the reasons, you think "Why cant we just have sorted it out?"

 

Still proud of my resolve. No contact. Not one drunk and dial or text (Ever I might add)

 

There have been times where I'm wondering..

 

Does she still think about me? Does she wonder how I am?

 

Not that it matters. I just need more time. Hopefully another month I think and I'm hoping (baring no incidents) that I will come through this awful funk that I am really resenting now.

 

So sick of it. Just want it gone. Its like Flu that won't go away.

 

 

Yes, I know. He did call and didn't have to actually, because it was never a fixed date or something. I think everything lies in the fact that he is repressing himself and not putting himself out emotionally like me, because you can tell he wants me, has feelings for me (he called me "love" during our conversation) but he's afraid, and may want to wait so that he doesn't make a mistake again, I guess... Don't know.

 

I know where I got myself into, I can't quit now, and things are OK, they are positive, it's just that anxiety that gets in the way.

 

Besides, it's the way we deal with it, and my ex manages differently than me I guess.

 

I do agree it's more time too, because I bet he never though I would be so open to talk again, to see him, for the last phone call we had after breaking up I was a mess, and treated him really awful, so... it's reasonable for him to expect someone unhappy to talk or see him, and it was the other way around, so he needs to understand my position as well.

 

I will continue, see where it takes me, because from the time being I can't give up, I love him and I won't stop, I just need to keep working on it now.

 

Yesterday we continued sending texts until we went to bed like old times;)

 

Now, of course she thinks about you and how you're, that is never going to change, but hey, who said mourning a relationship took a week or two??

 

I'm not saying you're gonna be crying over her for a year, but you do need to cleanse yourself up from the negatives thoughts and feelings for her, and that won't happen overnight. You're finally putting a closure to it and it's never easy.

 

Unless you're having second thoughts about her, and want to contact, which I know you don't want to... then just try to hold on. It'll look better then, you know it.

 

And yes, I could be the first time it happens because it could mean it's the first time you're in love... don't know, could be.

 

And as you said to me once, don't think about what SHE is feeling or thinking, think about YOURSELF! You need to move on, well, that's what you decided, and that's what you should do.

 

Flu never lasts more than a month so....

[supersub]

Yes, I know. He did call and didn't have to actually, because it was never a fixed date or something. I think everything lies in the fact that he is repressing himself and not putting himself out emotionally like me, because you can tell he wants me, has feelings for me (he called me "love" during our conversation) but he's afraid, and may want to wait so that he doesn't make a mistake again, I guess... Don't know.

 

I know where I got myself into, I can't quit now, and things are OK, they are positive, it's just that anxiety that gets in the way.

 

Besides, it's the way we deal with it, and my ex manages differently than me I guess.

 

I do agree it's more time too, because I bet he never though I would be so open to talk again, to see him, for the last phone call we had after breaking up I was a mess, and treated him really awful, so... it's reasonable for him to expect someone unhappy to talk or see him, and it was the other way around, so he needs to understand my position as well.

 

I will continue, see where it takes me, because from the time being I can't give up, I love him and I won't stop, I just need to keep working on it now.

 

Yesterday we continued sending texts until we went to bed like old times;)

 

Now, of course she thinks about you and how you're, that is never going to change, but hey, who said mourning a relationship took a week or two??

 

I'm not saying you're gonna be crying over her for a year, but you do need to cleanse yourself up from the negatives thoughts and feelings for her, and that won't happen overnight. You're finally putting a closure to it and it's never easy.

 

Unless you're having second thoughts about her, and want to contact, which I know you don't want to... then just try to hold on. It'll look better then, you know it.

 

And yes, I could be the first time it happens because it could mean it's the first time you're in love... don't know, could be.

 

And as you said to me once, don't think about what SHE is feeling or thinking, think about YOURSELF! You need to move on, well, that's what you decided, and that's what you should do.

 

Flu never lasts more than a month so....

 

Ha ha!

 

Thanks Lull.

 

Yes there is always an element of risk in this situations, but like you have told me if you don't risk something then you will end up with nothing. At least you guys are BOTH trying. There will be periods when the guards up, but as long as you are still high on their agenda then I think there are no worries. For example. I dont think that when I was reconnecting that I was HIGH on my ex's agenda at all.

 

You guys are different. Its not like hes hanging out with loads of other people either trying to prove something. I can tell you that my ex had filled the void with lots of new friends, guys and girls, I was traded very quickly like a baseball card. A very different situation.

 

You guys are talking avidly and it seems, very enthusiastically also texting back and forth and the like and that is great. Keep on going. Little steps.

 

I just bought a self help book online. Not going to say the title, but in my struggle I've noticed some things I want to work on, and improve in myself. I want to be a better person so if I get into a relationship again I will have my self esteem in tact.

 

That's been a real battle after this recent slap in the face. Self esteem. When we we were reconnecting and prior, I felt really good. But since that fateful day just a few weeks ago the self esteem took a knock. So I am working hard to keep it from falling.

 

I am just trying to regain that balance that I need. You know? Just trying to keep the faith.

 

 

Ive prayed a lot too. Ive been thankful for the wonderful things I do have in my life. Ive also asked for forgiveness for being in such a rut. I think it only right to do that. I'm not a religious nut by any stretch. Its very personal for me.

 

So how are you doing today? Do you feel better? Different? How are you coping?

 

Sup:cool: