Balance

[trippi1432]

"The goal is balance.

 

We need balance between work and play. We need balance between giving and receiving. We need balance in thought and feelings. We need balance in caring for our physical self and our spiritual self.

 

A balanced life has harmony between a professional life and a personal life. There may be times when we need to climb mountains at work. There may be times when we put extra energy into our relationships. But the overall picture needs to balance.

 

Just as a balanced nutritional diet takes into account the realm of our nutritional needs to stay healthy, a balanced work, love, family, play, private time, recovery time, and spiritual time - time with God. If we get out of balance, our inner voice will tell us. We need to listen.

 

Today, I will examine my life to see if the scales have swung too far in any area, or not far enough in some. I will work toward achieving balance." (Beattie, 1990)

 

Beattie, M. (1990). Balance. In M. Beattie, The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations on Codependency (p. 119). Center City: Hazelden Publishing.

[You Go Girl]

We need a checklist balance sheet for each of us individually.

 

There must be someplace on the net that has one!

 

I fear mine will make me change my procrastinate NOW! attitude.

[2sunny]

good balance for me is when three things are in alignment:

 

my head

my heart

my gut

 

when they are aligned everything goes so smoothly - with such little effort. i rarely allow someone else to take me off balance. if something is wrong - my gut is usually the first to signal to me that something is wrong.

[trippi1432]

We need a checklist balance sheet for each of us individually.

 

There must be someplace on the net that has one!

 

I fear mine will make me change my procrastinate NOW! attitude.

 

Yeah...procrastination is hard....so many things to do and so little time to do it in. It gets better when you just take one thing at a time. I told a friend the other day that if chaos came in a controlled environment, I would have it made. I didn't meet the goals I intended yesterday, but I did get my car washed.....at least that was something before I slept for 10 hours (and I don't typically sleep).

[BubbleFreak]

Good thread, trippi.

 

It's so true for me. Happyness = balance in life. I should really analyse my own life and see what needs changing.

[trippi1432]

good balance for me is when three things are in alignment:

 

my head

my heart

my gut

 

when they are aligned everything goes so smoothly - with such little effort. i rarely allow someone else to take me off balance. if something is wrong - my gut is usually the first to signal to me that something is wrong.

 

I will have to ask about these 2Sunny....in a perfect world, they should be aligned.....and you are right, with very little effort...I will stop short in saying that those have been extremely rare instances for me and typically ended badly anyway....not sure if it's my head, heart or gut that has gone stone stupid.

 

Today, I just know not to trust any of them when it comes to men, but work towards achieving a better balance between my professional life and my personal life when it comes to my family and girlfriends.

[trippi1432]

Good thread, trippi.

 

It's so true for me. Happyness = balance in life. I should really analyse my own life and see what needs changing.

 

Thanks....that's the journey I am on...finding my own happiness and starting over...to overcome. Remember to keep balance when changing anything though...I think that could be a good lesson. Keep the scales even.

[BubbleFreak]

Sometimes you need a little unbalance to motivate you.

[trippi1432]

Sometimes you need a little unbalance to motivate you.

 

Wait...now you are talking about picking on OCD peeps to freak them out...that's not motivation....:rolleyes: Forgive me...inside joke.

[2sunny]

I will have to ask about these 2Sunny....in a perfect world, they should be aligned.....and you are right, with very little effort...I will stop short in saying that those have been extremely rare instances for me and typically ended badly anyway....not sure if it's my head, heart or gut that has gone stone stupid.

 

Today, I just know not to trust any of them when it comes to men, but work towards achieving a better balance between my professional life and my personal life when it comes to my family and girlfriends.

 

if it's the men category that's been eating away at your balanced energy - you may be leading to heavily with the heart and not paying attention to the clues that your head should be capable of processing.

[trippi1432]

if it's the men category that's been eating away at your balanced energy - you may be leading to heavily with the heart and not paying attention to the clues that your head should be capable of processing.

 

Good point....and may be leading too heavily with a broken heart of past experiences of not being worthy....cheating spouse...1st marriage. It all comes into play when looking at the bigger picture.

[2sunny]

Good point....and may be leading too heavily with a broken heart of past experiences of not being worthy....cheating spouse...1st marriage. It all comes into play when looking at the bigger picture.

 

some of these take us immediately out of balance... just by sheer association = assigned meaning... or the meaning that we assigned to a certain situation by a prior event. these can keep us awfully stuck in a bad place.

 

clear the slate and look at everything without assigned meaning. experience things without the emotional tug. process each situation as if it were new.

[MizzBlue72]

I have to say - I LOVE this book!! I read from it every day.

I really needed this.

Since the D, I just can not find balance in my life. At all. I feel overwhelemd and lost all at the same time.

[Gunny376]

I agree in achieving and maintaining balance in all areas of our lives. In the Corps I typically never worked less than sixty hours a week. But that wasn't just me trying to get ahead? That was me just trying to keep up, and to survive.

 

Marine boot camp or OCS is designed for one thing and one thing only? To weed out the non-hackers and underachievers. Its designed to see if your can hack it in the FMF (Fleet Marine Force ~ aka ~ the real Marine Corps.

 

Because once you've "made it" through boot camp? Any and all safeties are off. Be it a four year enlistment or even a career you will be test mentally, emotionally, psychologically, physically virtually everyday.

 

But isn't that true in any job? Perhaps in some respects the Marines and the military are a little more intense, but the bottom line is that you either part of the solution and not the problem, and part of the answers instead of the question ~ or be gone.

 

Just that plain and simple.

 

A lot of what is wrong in maintaining balance are people constantly being bombarded with ads in newspapers, magazines, radio, television, the Internet about doing this, living this way, having this and having that.

 

Achieving a college degree. But wait that's not enough anymore now you've got to have a Master to get ahead, because a bachelors simply isn't anything more than the 'new" equivalent to a high school diploma.

 

All of this successful living we're trying to achieve, trying to keep up with the Jones' is doing nothing more than wrecking hell and havoc.

 

There's a Hell of a lot to be said for "working to live ~ rather than living to work!" I've been on both sides of the equation, and I'm here to tell you, the former is much more preferable than the later.

 

I'm here to tell you that up until about a month and half ago? I wasn't a very pleasant person to be around ~ men ~ let alone women. I was your stereotypical retired United States Marine Corps.

 

Self medicating with alcohol, going ape over the least little screw up and mistake, (Sorry I'm just not accustomed to working with civilians. I work and lived by such things as:

 

We get paid to get it right the first time ~ every time!

 

We don't get paid to make mistakes, we get paid to correct and fix them'

 

We get paid to get it right the first time, not to do it over and then get it right." and and on)

 

Its not having the biggest house, driving a Benz, a BMW or a Hummer, making the most money. Its not about buying $4000 sandals, (Ref: "Real Housewives of Orange County)

 

Its about one man loving one woman, having children, being a family, being there for each and one another.

 

Its about achieving and maintaining balance. Its about telling your boss that your going to turn down an advancement, a particular job, raise

~ because your spouse, your marriage, your children, your family mean more to you than money and material possessions that money can buy.

 

Women have it particularly hard ~ because they are judged way to harshly by other women. Women in 2010 are expected to be all, know all, and do all.

 

Men need to get off their dead @zzes and pitch in more with the child care, running errands, paying the bills, cleaning the house, washing clothes, cooking meals.

 

And no Slick that doesn't make you a castrated unmanipulated male? Because you know what? When your wife leaves you? Guess who's going to have to do all that all by their lonesome!

 

That's right! You!

[trippi1432]

I agree in achieving and maintaining balance in all areas of our lives. In the Corps I typically never worked less than sixty hours a week. But that wasn't just me trying to get ahead? That was me just trying to keep up, and to survive. (Keep in mind that if you are on salary, the longer hours you work, the less you make...I once had to pay the security guard to leave.jk)

 

Marine boot camp or OCS is designed for one thing and one thing only? To weed out the non-hackers and underachievers. Its designed to see if your can hack it in the FMF (Fleet Marine Force ~ aka ~ the real Marine Corps.

 

Because once you've "made it" through boot camp? Any and all safeties are off. Be it a four year enlistment or even a career you will be test mentally, emotionally, psychologically, physically virtually everyday.

 

But isn't that true in any job? Perhaps in some respects the Marines and the military are a little more intense, but the bottom line is that you either part of the solution and not the problem, and part of the answers instead of the question ~ or be gone.

 

Just that plain and simple.

 

A lot of what is wrong in maintaining balance are people constantly being bombarded with ads in newspapers, magazines, radio, television, the Internet about doing this, living this way, having this and having that.

 

Achieving a college degree. But wait that's not enough anymore now you've got to have a Master to get ahead, because a bachelors simply isn't anything more than the 'new" equivalent to a high school diploma. (This is so flipping true and becoming such BS in America today....they are just going to outsource your job eventually...jeez!!! I once halted working on my undergrad to work on delivering a $65M project, once it was complete, I was no longer educated enough to maintain my position in the company. I had to finish my undergrad!!! Even still, that wasn't enough to continue in my company, so I had to get my MBA....just finished that last month...now they want me to have my CPM from the ISM for the WTF????? Gimme a flipping break!!!!!)

 

All of this successful living we're trying to achieve, trying to keep up with the Jones' is doing nothing more than wrecking hell and havoc.

 

There's a Hell of a lot to be said for "working to live ~ rather than living to work!" I've been on both sides of the equation, and I'm here to tell you, the former is much more preferable than the later.

 

I'm here to tell you that up until about a month and half ago? I wasn't a very pleasant person to be around ~ men ~ let alone women. I was your stereotypical retired United States Marine Corps.

 

Self medicating with alcohol, going ape over the least little screw up and mistake, (Sorry I'm just not accustomed to working with civilians. I work and lived by such things as:

 

We get paid to get it right the first time ~ every time!

 

We don't get paid to make mistakes, we get paid to correct and fix them'

 

We get paid to get it right the first time, not to do it over and then get it right." and and on)

 

Its not having the biggest house, driving a Benz, a BMW or a Hummer, making the most money. Its not about buying $4000 sandals, (Ref: "Real Housewives of Orange County) (I drove my son thru a part of the wealthiest sections of town yesterday and he was looking at these huge houses.....He said "Mom, who the heck lives in houses like that??" Good question...don't know anyone who could afford them!!)

 

Its about one man loving one woman, having children, being a family, being there for each and one another.

 

Its about achieving and maintaining balance. Its about telling your boss that your going to turn down an advancement, a particular job, raise

~ because your spouse, your marriage, your children, your family mean more to you than money and material possessions that money can buy.

 

Women have it particularly hard ~ because they are judged way to harshly by other women. Women in 2010 are expected to be all, know all, and do all. (And expected to be "nicely" assertive while doing all of that.)

 

Men need to get off their dead @zzes and pitch in more with the child care, running errands, paying the bills, cleaning the house, washing clothes, cooking meals.

 

And no Slick that doesn't make you a castrated unmanipulated male? Because you know what? When your wife leaves you? Guess who's going to have to do all that all by their lonesome!

 

That's right! You!

 

Gunny!!! You are so awesome!!!! :love: Thank you for this post!!!

[trippi1432]

I have to say - I LOVE this book!! I read from it every day.

I really needed this.

Since the D, I just can not find balance in my life. At all. I feel overwhelemd and lost all at the same time.

 

Thanks MizzBlue...I really like this book too...going to have to buy it. There's a website too that has a lot of encouraging articles, quotes and lessons. The site is called My Cognition...you can google that. I've put it on my favorites.

 

By the way, I love your Marilyn Monroe quote!! :)