Love_Bug Posted January 23, 2004 Share Posted January 23, 2004 I love my boyfriend but some times he just acts childish and will not go around my friends and family and is very jealous of my male friends. I am not sure what to do about this because the rest of the time when it is just the two of us or around his family he is sweet and caring. But when I have made him go around my friends and family he wont say any thing and just makes every one uncomfortable. I am seriously thinking about dumping him because I need to be able to be around friends and family and not feel guilty. He gets upset if I do not spend every free minute with him but he wont go around my people so what should I do? Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 23, 2004 Share Posted January 23, 2004 Talk to him, and tell him your legitimate concerns. If he doesn't shape up, you have a right to leave and find someone you are more healthily compatible with. Link to post Share on other sites
dario Posted January 23, 2004 Share Posted January 23, 2004 Talk to him NOW. There is a reason for the way in which he acts. Link to post Share on other sites
OnlyEverything Posted January 23, 2004 Share Posted January 23, 2004 My Ex was the same way. Except I'm a guy and she was a girl, a little diff from your situation. she was just very very shy. I mean she was 23 and was still shy and uncomfortable around my fam or friends, she wouldn't ever really talk. She was herself around me and around her family and around her friends, in fact she would scream(in laughter) and be loud and everything. She just had a low self-esteem and it was hard for her to think of anything to say around my friends or my family. Self-conscious about her appearance or looking good in front of my mom or not feeling as smart as some of my friend's girlfriends, or as cool etc. Just silly stuff. At first it used to bug me. And I didn't feel bad about going out, I just felt bad for her that she couldn't enjoy herself and feel comfy around new people or my family because I felt that she was missing out on fun in her life. She was also very jealous and got really jealous of a girl I worked with. I didn't like or wasn't even attracted to any other girl other than My lovely girlfriend and loved and cherished her so much, But she would still get so jealous if I even brought up her name if she asked me how my workday was. She would get all quiet and standoff-ish. She just had some issues with feeling comfortable with herself. I tried to help her and build her up really good and make her feel good about herself, but it never got thru to her. I'd say talk to your guy. Let him know how it makes you feel but don't be bitter or hate him, unless he's being rude about it. He may just have some inferiority issues to work thru. I wish you so much luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Love_Bug Posted January 23, 2004 Author Share Posted January 23, 2004 He expected me to stay with him at all times and would want to go with me to a freinds house but would then want to stay in the car or would make it very obvious that he did not want to be there or would say "Can we go yet" after I had only been there a minute so I wouldnt have a chance to see my freinds really and he would get angery if I told him I was going to stay and viset with my freinds. Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted January 23, 2004 Share Posted January 23, 2004 How long have you guys been together? Is the relationship serious? Do you love him? If it isn't anything serious yet, then cut all ties with him. He's got issues and if he's going to continue to be rude like this, then you don't need him. He'll be nothing more than a nusiance in your life. People can't change over night so if you don't want to invest the time in him, then definitely move on. It seriously isn't worth it. You could be enjoying your boyfriend and your friends at the same time. It happens more then not, so go out and find someone who doesn't have so many issues. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Love_Bug Posted January 23, 2004 Author Share Posted January 23, 2004 We have only been together for about 4 months but we got serious very quickly. I love him but I agree with you, I should be able to enjoy my freinds and boyfreind at the same time and not have to worry about him being jelous because most of my freinds are male. Link to post Share on other sites
cantsleep02 Posted January 23, 2004 Share Posted January 23, 2004 Listen, I was kind of like that with my girlfriend and yeah it definitly caused alot of problems, but it wasnt my fault and it might not be his, i found out after going to therapy that the way i acted was because of my childhood and how i grew up in a bad environment and never learned how to feel things the right way, if that makes sense, because i didnt have a teacher or a good parent, so dont leave him, definitly tell him that you dont like it but it got better with me and my girlfriend for a while once i realized the things that were wrong. Dont leave him, he probably needs you there for him, and if you love him give him another chance Link to post Share on other sites
OnlyEverything Posted January 23, 2004 Share Posted January 23, 2004 If you love him enuff, give him another chance....But If he's being rude about it, That's disrepectful. I mean Like I said, I felt bad for my girl because she felt so uncomfortable and was being quiet, even though people thought she was rude for not talking. I mean in High School, she told me people used to think she was stuck-up or aloof, when in actuality, she was just quiet and shy. But sometimes I would go places I liked like the music store or the vintage bookstore etc and She I'd invite her and she'd say, "Sure, Whatever you want to do, It's spend money on hunny day" or something like that, But then when we were out she would get quiet and look all tired and look like she wasn't having a good time and constantly be asking me, Are you ready yet? Find what you were looking for? over and over sometimes. And she HATED going to the video store because she said it annoyed her looking for a movie, so "Could We Make It Quick? Otherwise i'll get annoyed".... things like that bugged me a bit. It felt disrespectful, Well then Stay Home! But that's not a good attitude to have. So I don't know. Remember some people are just set in their ways and can't be changed, she left me about 6 months ago to go find herself, so I miss her a lot, But I know she had probs so she needed to sort those things out, Because as much as I tried to help her and had tons and tons of patience with her, I obviously couldn't help her. Link to post Share on other sites
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