360 pounds - given up!

[Sussexwoman]

Hi folks I have been dieting for 33 years. I am 51 and weight over 360lbs. My weight has doubled since my first diet.

 

In 33 yrs, I have tried everytype of diet there is.

 

People ask, what do I eat in an average day now.

 

Well, twice a day I'll have some kind of meat or fish or prawns or tuna with salad or a green vegetable like broccoli or sprouts, or mushrooms onions and capsicums. I use mayo and olive oil. I don't eat desserts and never touch alcohol. So basically, Atkins style, but with cheats.

 

I don't touch caffeine, I drink fruit tea, occasionally have a glass of milk or a sugarfree fizzy drink. I don't have sugar in the house and I avoid wheat. I do not eat pizza or McDonalds as a rule, though do have one maybe once or twice a year.

 

I never buy potatoes or rice or anything made of wheat, but I do eat them occasionally in a restaurant or at someone else's house.

 

Occasionally I will eat cake or a pastry. Maybe 4-5 times a year. I rarely eat fruit.

 

My biggest problem is that I am addicted to chocolate and every day is a struggle not to buy any. Sometimes I go 3, 4 days without it. I have gone as long as 5 months, and once, 18 months. In that 18 months I was completely sugar free, and did not lose one ounce.

 

I even bought a self hypnosis "stop eating chocolate" MP3 but I still want it 24/7. I managed 3 days until last night, when a well-meaning acquaintance bought me a giant bar, which I ate in 15 minutes.

 

I have a big appetite and like largish portions, though I only ever have one course. Little portions just leave me feeling hungry, so I end up eating more, or something else.

 

I am also able to eat when not hungry, and have a habit of doing so, a habit I don't seem to be able to stop.

 

Every time I try to be strict and keep to Atkins I fail. The chocolate addiction wins every time.

 

I've tried low fat low calorie so I can incorporate a small chocolate bar each day as part of my calorie count, but the lack of fat in the diet makes me so incredibly hungry all day long that I never stop snacking and picking, and so I always end up doubling my calorie allowance every day.

 

When I re introduce the fat (olive oil, mayo, etc) my appetite dies off very noticeably.

 

At my weight, exercise is no longer an option, other than water aerobics or swimming, which I do usually but at the moment cannot be bothered. I cannot walk more than about 500 metres.

 

Last year I went on a meat-and-fat-only diet for 5 months, and lost eleven pounds. That is the only diet that caused me to lose any weight at all. I felt brilliant but I missed other foods so much that I gave up (while I was on holiday, surrounded by carbs!)

 

All my friends and family eat whatever they want, and many of them drink a fair amount of alcohol as well. All around me I see people enjoying cakes, pastries, chocolate, pasta, pizza, meals out, and it really annoys me that my intake of all these things is severely restricted (in some cases to zero) yet here I am 5ft 3 and 360 pounds, and they are all slim. It is incredibly unfair.

 

I've read up loads about the dangers of obesity, early death, stroke, heart failure, etc, but none of it seems to scare me enough. I have my bloods checked yearly and I have excellent cholesterol readings and normal blood pressure.

 

I absolutely hate being this fat, and it restricts my life to an enormous degree. In fact I'd say that I am only having half a life because of all the sporty and active things I am now unable to do -- I cannot even ride a bike, and the cinema and theatre are now out of bounds as I can no longer fit between the arm rests on the seats. I think my sex life would be a LOT better if I were lighter as I now don't ever want to go on top, and the flab does get in the way in many positions. I do not see fat as sexy, and I think I would be a lot more uninhibited if I wasn't so ashamed of my body. I'm very sexual and would love to do more (3somes, parties, etc) but not at this weight, I am far too embarrassed and I know that 90% of people would find me grossly unattractive.

 

Yet, despite all that, I just cannot keep to any diet. Even the thought of dying young hasn't scared me into compliance.

 

How can I motivate myself?

Edited May 6, 2010 by Sussexwoman

[Rorschach]

Its not the chocolate that is stopping you from losing weight, it's the portion size. I used to weigh 300 pounds (I'm down to about 259) and while I am younger than you and male so losing weight is easier, it's far from easy.

 

But if you're willing to work the biggest thing is knowing what a good diet looks like.

 

Large portions will destroy a diet just a surely as mounds of sweets will, I know how much it sucks, trust me I do, but when you start a diet your going to feel hungry, it's just the way it is. Your body is used to eating two to three times as much as it really needs, so reducing it to only as much as it needs is going to make you feel empty.

 

The good news is that after a while you won't be feeling hungry anymore because your body will adjust, but until that happens you have no choice but to face the facts and not eat. I found it helpful to carry around a journal of everything I ate and a running calorie total for the day. I got two things out of it.

 

One I had an idea of EXACTLY how many calories I ate that day and what sort of foods I was eating.

 

Two I had an object that personified my diet, I'd carry that baby around like a shield. I LITERALLY carried it everywhere, even if I wasn't planning on eating anything I'd have it with me, I'd bring it into the bathroom, I'd take it on appointments, I'd do everything with it. Any time I felt hungry and felt like I wanted to cheat myself (because your not cheating on your diet, your cheating on yourself) I'd look at my book and think 'THIS is why I'm hungry, and this is why I'm not going to eat anything'.

 

I still have my book though I don't feel the need to carry it around anymore I've become aclimated to what my diet means I get to eat.

 

I can't tell you how to get motivated, I can't tell you how to stay motivated, but if you want to lose weight you have to eat as much as a thin person eats. For me, at 300, i started eating 1600 calories a day. Its hard, but it's worth it.

[Sussexwoman]

Hi Rorschach!

 

I just came back to edit, and now I cannot, of course, as you have replied.

 

What I was going to add was something I forgot because I live with it 24/7 it's so normal for me I forget that others don't know about it till I tell them! DUH!

 

So I had better explain before reading/addressing your reply.

 

I suffer from a condition known as hyperinsulinaemia, or hyperinsulinism, combined with chronic hypoglycaemia.

 

In simple terms, I create too much insulin, which as we all know, is the fat-storing hormone. This is why I avoid sugar, fruit, juices etc and why the meat-only diet worked for me, it worked cos it kept my insulin levels low 24/7.

 

If I don't eat enough to keep my blood sugar stable, I feel restless, irritable, sleepy and unable to concentrate at work. If I try to get past that, then I start to get dizzy and feel trembly inside as my body perceives an emergency. If I continue to fight these feelings (which is v. difficult) then eventually I go into a whole-body trembling fit with blurred vision, and once I even passed out.

 

This condition leads me to always want to be well-stocked with food inside me, so that I can get on with my day without worrying that any of this process will start.

 

Right, now to your message -- for which many thanks!

[Sussexwoman]

I used to weigh 300 pounds (I'm down to about 259)

 

Congrats! I am envious!

 

Your body is used to eating two to three times as much as it really needs, so reducing it to only as much as it needs is going to make you feel empty.

 

How does one get through a whole day of hunger? I hate feeling hungry, because it is always accompanied by feelings of jitteriness, weakness, sleepiness, inability to concentrate etc.

 

The good news is that after a while you won't be feeling hungry anymore because your body will adjust, but until that happens you have no choice but to face the facts and not eat.

 

I wish I could get to that sweet spot!

 

"I'd do everything with it. Any time I felt hungry and felt like I wanted to cheat myself (because your not cheating on your diet, your cheating on yourself) I'd look at my book and think 'THIS is why I'm hungry, and this is why I'm not going to eat anything'. "

 

What a great idea you had!

 

"if you want to lose weight you have to eat as much as a thin person eats."

 

Looking at the thin people I live with, and my thin friends, family and lover, they all appear to consume more calories than me. Not that I am watching them 24/7, but for example if we have a meal out, they have 3 courses, bread, wine, side dishes; I have two courses and a glass of water.

 

"For me, at 300, i started eating 1600 calories a day."

 

I see. That is interesting. Thanks.

[Citizen Erased]

Have you been to a doctor and had them sort a diet out for you, given your medical condition? That would be your best bet. Your body will adjust. It is hard, when you have a solution for an illness that's not actually healthy for you but works, to change to something else. But 360 pounds...it's dangerous to be that heavy.

 

The change in diet, the hunger, heck even being dizzy...it passes. You pretty much just need to suck it up and deal. You need to WANT to do it though, not just do it because you think you have to.

[kassy]

I assume that you have already done these things but have you: had a check up with your doctor and had your thyroid checked (along with all other things), have you talked to a shrink at all about why you are eating, and possibly to prescribe some anti-depressants? Have you had yourself checked for allergies?

 

If you are depressed, then seeing someone about it and getting some help even if it is in the form of pills should make it easier for you to concerntrate and stick to your diet and exercise regime.

 

After that well, I agree with everything Rorschach said. Write it down, and get the portion sizes sorted and you will see some progress. I think it is the portion sizes that is probably where you are going wrong.

 

On the exercise front: I had a bad accident and my leg was really bad for a long time, so I understand how frustrating it can be not to really be able to get too physical. But start small... it is the small consistent things that add up and become part of your life. Start off with one daily goal (of whatever makes sense to you) and then slowly add more.

 

For example: swim lengths 1 time a week and aqua gym twice a week

Daily goals are things like: walk to the letterbox and get the mail each day.

 

You can do simple weights exercises too (lots can be done seated uses things like full water bottles etc etc) - the more muscle you have the more calories you will burn when resting.

 

This is already really long, so I'll stop there, but hope that helped at least a tiny bit. Just take it one day at a time.

[kassy]

Just saw the bit about your medical condition... I think you should talk to your doctor about getting a dietitian who is knowlegable about your condition help you out.

 

Something needs to change, now, and it's only going to do that if you change it.

[Sussexwoman]

Have you been to a doctor and had them sort a diet out for you, given your medical condition?

 

Yes, seen 17 different doctors, nurses, dieticians and nutritionists, over the years. They have severe disagreements between them. One dietician, after berating me passionately about the Atkins Diet and putting me on an organic wholefood vegan diet, phoned me up the next morning (after I'd spent a small fortune on organic wholefoods!!!) and recanted: Atkins was indeed right for me.

 

You need to WANT to do it though, not just do it because you think you have to.

 

I want to be slimmer, everyone my size does, but I think it's the huge time gap between putting in the work and sacrifice, and seeing results, that kills the motivation.

 

For example, I don't drink alcohol, because I know that 2 minutes later I would be in the midst of a horrendous blood-sugar crash (feels just like a severe panic attack).

 

But if I choose to deny myself a bar of chocolate right now, and have a little weep because I want it sooo bad, I won't instantly see the result of that painful sacrifice.

 

If God said, "go without chocolate for today and in the morning you will wake up weighing 90 pounds", I could do it. I guess it's the "go without chocolate today, and in five years time you might be a bit slimmer" thing.

[Rorschach]

Yes, seen 17 different doctors, nurses, dieticians and nutritionists, over the years. They have severe disagreements between them. One dietician, after berating me passionately about the Atkins Diet and putting me on an organic wholefood vegan diet, phoned me up the next morning (after I'd spent a small fortune on organic wholefoods!!!) and recanted: Atkins was indeed right for me.

 

Thats because nutritionalists don't know which end is their ass which and end is their mouth. I'm not saying they don't know anything, but the human body and human diet is STILL not completely understood, so conflicting studies pop up EVERYWHERE. Its amazing how little we know about how the body processes foods actually. So if you go see a nutrionalist just go see ONE, that way you don't get conflicting advice.

 

Oh and if he says anything about organic/vegan go find a different one, that is crap.

 

As for the motivation you're absolutely right, I'd say it was a good month between the time I started the diet and the time I saw a noticeable change in my body. I saw the scales changing very quickly (I think I lost 5 pounds the first week) but I didn't see any physical differences for awhile. But thats just why alot of people don't lose weight, it's just a fact of life anything worth doing isn't easy, and it's not just skipping chocolate, it's changing probably everything about the way you are eating right now.

[dreamingoftigers]

ah the good ole nutritionists LOL

 

My H having studied to be a Registered Holistic Nutritionist I know that they are pretty limited in their scope.

 

I do not wish to share my weight on here (it is high, I will say that I got married at 315 lbs and weigh less now) but I did lose 70lbs by following the precepts at fa.org.

 

The chocolate has to go. It HAS to. I suspect that you have a chemically sensitive system like mine and any little bit of sugar sends you flying. The up and down of the refined sugar completely screws up your metabolism and will probably take a month to recover.

 

If you wish to know the food plan I was on (and I wasn't exercising either) PM me and I'll let you know. I know it is annoying to hear a million suggestions like (eat a lemon and light a candle before breakfast blah blah blah).

 

The portion sizes are killer. I found out that I actually need VERY little food to not feel hungry when I got rid of the sugar and flour. The fact that I have been so addictively hooked on the sugar and flour made me eat about double what a normal person ate. If I only needed about half, you can see where the excess weight came from in a hurry).

 

The fa food plan was the only one I found that made the most sense and I can't wait to go back on it. You make all of your food the night before (weighed so you can't cheat yourself, don't modify either). It is balanced and healthy eating, no bs, no one apple a day and starve. You get to EAT, but it is all healthy. My skin looked great! Plus no spending for weight loss plans or stupid fake chocolate bars. No condescending a-holes. No sugar rush and you DO NOT get hungry after a couple of days (the refined crap leaves your system and you start to feel normal, you moods even out too).

 

Gosh, thank you, now after having written that I now have the motivation to return to it, so thanks!

[Sussexwoman]

have you: had a check up with your doctor and had your thyroid checked (along with all other things), have you talked to a shrink at all about why you are eating, and possibly to prescribe some anti-depressants? Have you had yourself checked for allergies?

 

Hi Kassy! They checked my thyroid once, but they won't do it again because I do not have any other symptoms of an underactive thyroid. (The NHS won't spend money on unnecessary tests.)

 

I'm not at all depressed. Apart from the weight, I have an absolutely fantastic life and am very lucky compared to others. I love my work, I love my life, and have a great home life and a wonderful man to love. I even have a cat! Food is part of the conviviality of life. I love the sensuous nature of food, I love using it to celebrate, I love eating out with friends.

 

"Write it down, and get the portion sizes sorted and you will see some progress. I think it is the portion sizes that is probably where you are going wrong."

 

It could be. I wonder how on earth I can just cut back on what I usually eat, and bear the constant yearnings and hunger, and not give in. I work from home, so food is constantly available. Mind you, when I worked in an office I had a drawer full of chocolate and snacks.

 

"I understand how frustrating it can be not to really be able to get too physical. But start small... swim ... do simple weights exercises too (lots can be done seated uses things like full water bottles etc etc)"

 

I have yearly membership to the pool, own a pair of aquafit barbells, and have a set of nylon barbells in my office here. I just cannot be bothered to use them other than now and again, halfheartedly.

 

Sometimes I wonder why I am on this apparent "suicide mission". I want to live, because I am very full of life. People who know me say I am bubbly and viviacious, I am intelligent and educated to degree level, and I have no real problems in life, I am solvent and enjoy good health generally. I just don't know why I do what I do...

[Sussexwoman]

Thats because nutritionalists don't know which end is their ass which and end is their mouth. I'm not saying they don't know anything, but the human body and human diet is STILL not completely understood, so conflicting studies pop up EVERYWHERE.

 

That is the absolute truth!

 

Every year I go to my surgery to see the practice nurse and she does my smear test and takes my blood. As I lay on the couch above my head is a large laminated poster showing clearly which foods to eat and which to avoid, in order to lose weight. This diet is Gospel Truth as far as the entire surgery is concerned, and it goes like this: cut back on meat and fat and dairy, and eat loads of bread, fruit, juices, pasta, potatoes, cereals and rice. This is the mantra repeated by each doctor in that practice, and is dictated to me each time I pop in with a sprained ankle or whatever. The fact that people like me cannot eat that stuff is not taken into account. The fact that most fat people got fat from eating carbs is ignored.

[Sussexwoman]

QUOTE=dreamingoftiger "I did lose 70lbs by following the precepts at fa.org."

 

I just checked that out. I see no diets at Friends Academy!

 

"The chocolate has to go. It HAS to. I suspect that you have a chemically sensitive system like mine and any little bit of sugar sends you flying. The up and down of the refined sugar completely screws up your metabolism and will probably take a month to recover."

 

I have a rebound hypo reaction if I eat pure sugars like fruit juice, actual sugar, etc, but I find the dairy product in the chocolate slows down the absorption of the sugar, and I do not get a reaction. I bloody well wish I did because that WOULD keep me off it.

 

"If you wish to know the food plan I was on (and I wasn't exercising either) PM me and I'll let you know. I know it is annoying to hear a million suggestions like (eat a lemon and light a candle before breakfast blah blah blah)."

 

I've tried that one, till I ran out of candles LOL.

 

"I actually need VERY little food to not feel hungry when I got rid of the sugar and flour. The fact that I have been so addictively hooked on the sugar and flour made me eat about double what a normal person ate."

 

Yes, I have found that, too, when I try what my doc wants me to do, ie low fat high carb. I think it's because they send your blood glucose sky high then when it starts to plummet, the hunger is just horrendous!

Edited May 6, 2010 by Sussexwoman

[cuppa]

Are you sure that your problem is the chocolate? Could you list out your daily meals/calorie intake here starting today so we can help you?

 

Why don't u start tracking your meals? There are a few websites out there, I used http://www.livestrong.com tracker. List out every meal that you eat throughout the day so we can help you.

 

I ate chocolate everyday last year, while it caused me so many problems (like restlessness, couldn't sleep, high sugar level, etc), I didn't gain significant weight (probably about 5 lbs). But I got depressed due to unhealthy diet. So perhaps, you might be at the same spot as I was last year.

 

You don't have to completely banish chocolate from your diet to get thinner, I still eat chocolate from time to time (ie: Trader Joe's dark chocolate, the whole bar is only 270 calories and low in sugar - and dark chocolate is anti oxidant so it's not all bad for your body),

[Sussexwoman]

Hello Cuppa!

 

"Are you sure that your problem is the chocolate?"

 

Well, Atkins is supposed to work with hyperinsulin people, but no chocolate is allowed on Atkins, so yeah, in that respect, it's my problem.

 

"Could you list out your daily meals/calorie intake here starting today so we can help you? Why don't u start tracking your meals? There are a few websites out there, I used www.livestrong.com tracker. List out every meal that you eat throughout the day so we can help you."

 

I have an account with Fitday which also tracks everything you eat. I input my food for a few days, but never seem to be able to keep it up because I keep forgetting to input and when I get round to remembering, I forget what I've eaten.

 

What I have eaten today:

Breakfast/lunch was 2 pork chops with 3oz mushrooms in cream.

 

Dinner was the same, but with some sweetcorn as well, as it was in the fridge going off.

 

I have 2 bags of crisps in the house and 2 bars of chocolate. I suspect I might eat one of each (but not two bars of chocolate!)

[kassy]

Hey if you get hungry (I know you have heard this 100 times) but drink water - with some fresh lemon or lime for flavour - and it will make you feel full and also flush your system.

 

Do you drink a lot of water at the moment?

 

I think at your weight you basically have come to the point where you don't have the choice not to go to the pool and work out for 30minutes or an hour 3 times a week... you also have to be tough on yourself or you will literally die. I know you know this, but you need to make it real for yourself.

 

Maybe as motivation you might want to chose something you want to be able to do that is important to you and make it a goal and tell people about it and achieve it.

 

You can make every excuse in the world up, we all can, but at the end of the day you are the only one who can make this decision - I am sure your husband must hate watching you gain weight and think that your eating will mean that he will probably not get to spend his old age with you... I don't know if you think how about how it affects others. You sound like you have a great life, it must be hard for them to watch you seem so willing to let it all go.

 

When my leg was really bad, I was only sad about my leg, the rest of my life was great. I never realised that I was massively depressed until after my 6th operation and things turned around for the better... and then I wasn't depressed, that's the point at which I realised how low I had been. You can be depressed about just one aspect of your life. I'm not saying you are, I'm saying don't discount it.

 

I'm sorry if this was a bit harsh - for some reason it's made me think of if my mum was in your position how I would feel. It's not nice.

[Green]

DIETS DON'T WORK. You seem to know this yet you still try them... Why do you still try diets if you know they don't work?

 

Here it is plain and simple whether you decide to follow what I say is up to you. First I recomend you find a way of eating that you like, that doesn't feel like a diet... a way of eating you will continue even after you have lost some weight... if you can't get rid of choclat find a way to portion it like buy small choclates instead of an entire bar, and look for the healthiest portions you can have and maybe see if having one tiny piece a day works for you and doesn't feel like a temporary diet but a new way of life.

 

You need to eat more then 2 or 3 meals a day. You should probably strive for 5 small meals a day with the early meals being the biggest and the later meals smaller. And don't eat 4 hours before you go to sleep. This alone will probably shave 70 pounds off you.

 

Take a 20-30 minute walk as briskly as feels safe EVERY day... eventualy try to move that walk time up to an hour each day... JUST A WALK... but you have to do it each day... that would probably shave another 20 lbs off you.... do these simple things and keep a journal of it and don't give up. Do it for the next 3 months and don't intend to stop but only intesify a little after 3 months. If you falter for a day and don't go on ur walk or don't eat your 5 meals... well don't give up just get back to it... even if you skip ur walk for a week get right back to it. Keep doing this for 3 months and you will see pounds drop off. And even if pounds don't drop off just be glad no new pounds add on.

 

and yes drink lots of water with every meal to fill you up and inbetween meals... try to avoid any drink but water... if u can or atleast minimize other drinks

 

most importantly find a way of living that works, not a diet you will quit when you've lost the weight, but a new way of living that will continue forever

[KikiW]

Honestly I am reading your posts and think the main culprit is portion control. It's my own personal downfall as well. So easy for me to skip breakfast, have something little for lunch and then chow down on 2 or 3 servings at dinner.

 

I was on Weight Watchers' online program, which was going fantastically until I had a major life change and fell off the wagon. Just now trying to get back on, but it worked wonders. They REQUIRE that you eat at LEAST 3 meals, but want you to have 2-3 snacks as well. When I was doing it faithfully, there were times I struggled to meet my points - I was full! It was a matter of measuring your food appropriately. It was a PITA at first, and my stomach needed time to downsize a little, but it honestly didn't take long. Every time my stomach growled, I drank some water or a small glass of 1% milk, or grabbed an apple, or some grapes, or some baby carrots.

 

Was down over 40 pounds from my peak doing that. Have gained some back, which is why I am going to re-train myself. Need to lose more than that to be at my best health.

 

Good luck!

[Sussexwoman]

Thank you for your message Kassy

 

"Do you drink a lot of water at the moment? "

 

In the summer I do. Otherwise I drink about three pints of fruit tea, which is really the same as water as it has no carbs, calories or anything except flavouring.

 

"you don't have the choice not to go to the pool and work out for 30minutes or an hour 3 times a week"

 

I did that since January 2004 till last November. Never lost any weight, but felt stronger and fitter. I stopped going cos I had an infection, and have not (yet) gone back to the habit.

 

"Maybe as motivation you might want to chose something you want to be able to do that is important to you and make it a goal and tell people about it and achieve it."

 

Done that many times. Have even bought smaller clothes. They are all in storage now. I have booked a holiday abroad in the sun in September with my boyfriend, who I am crazily in love with. Soon as I booked it, I looked at the calendar and said to myself, right, I have exactly 5 months before we go, and I want to lost 5 stone (70 lbs) by the time we leave, partly because I want to be able to explore the archaeological sites, which means walking/climbing over stuff, plus I want to have better sex with him, plus just walking about in the heat generally, which kills me at this weight, plus I don't want him to see me puffing and panting and sweating, plus would be nice not to be embarrassed on the plane or take up 3/4 of the double seat (thank God he is thin!) or have the usual struggle to get the seat belt closed in his car (v embarrassing!)

 

And guess what happened? Next day went straight back to overeating, eating when not hungry, and although I managed 3 days without chocolate, when an acquaintance bought me some as a thank-you, instead of giving it away I ate it! I have HUGE incentives to slim down if only for that holiday, yet I have done nothing about it. I am going on another holiday in June, wanted to lose weight for that as well, but have done nothing towards it. I do feel depressed that I am so bloody useless at keeping a promise to myself; that I have no willpower, that I don't seem to care about myself.

 

"you are the only one who can make this decision - I am sure your husband must hate watching you gain weight and think that your eating will mean that he will probably not get to spend his old age with you"

 

I am not married, but have had serial boyfriends, nose to tail for 40 years.

 

"I don't know if you think how about how it affects others... it must be hard for them to watch you seem so willing to let it all go. "

 

I cannot think of another person who is affected my my weight. It doesn't bother my boyfriend at all. I was this weight when he met me 18 months ago. I don't have children, and nobody else cares what size I am.

 

"You can be depressed about just one aspect of your life. I'm not saying you are, I'm saying don't discount it."

 

I don't discount anything without thought. But even if I go to the doc and say, I am depressed about being so fat, he'll just tell me to lose weight (by eating potatoes, pasta, sugar, etc). No way is he going to put me on drugs.

 

The diet booklet that my doc gave me (and all docs and nurses in the surgery give to everyone) is available online here:

 

http://www.sugar-bureau.co.uk/pl_lwko.pdf

 

"I'm sorry if this was a bit harsh"

 

Oh no, please don't apologise, I am grateful for your time.

Edited May 6, 2010 by Sussexwoman

[Sussexwoman]

Green you said "DIETS DON'T WORK. You seem to know this yet you still try them... Why do you still try diets if you know they don't work?"

 

And then you gave me a diet plan, not in terms of what foods to eat, but a lot of rules about how much and when. Anything that consciously alters or restricts ones food is a diet, surely?

 

"if you can't get rid of choclat find a way to portion it like buy small choclates instead of an entire bar, and look for the healthiest portions you can have and maybe see if having one tiny piece a day works for you"

 

A couple of years back when I decided to try eating low fat I bought a bag of mini Mars bars, the idea being to have one a day, for about 100 calories. This is what happened: ate one. Enjoyed it so much, ate the one alotted for the next day, vowing not to have one the next day. Later, ate a third, vowing to not eat another for 3 days. Could barely concentrate on anything, cos I was constantly thinking about that bag of small chocolates. Next day, ate just about the whole bagful. Vowed never to buy such a bag again.

 

 

"You need to eat more then 2 or 3 meals a day. You should probably strive for 5 small meals a day with the early meals being the biggest and the later meals smaller. And don't eat 4 hours before you go to sleep. This alone will probably shave 70 pounds off you."

 

I never eat after 6pm, and I go to bed between 10-11 so I already do that. I am willing to try 5 small meals, but won't I just feel hungry and unsatisfied all day long that way? And what is a "meal"?

 

"Take a 20-30 minute walk as briskly as feels safe EVERY day... eventualy try to move that walk time up to an hour each day"

 

I could do that easily, if I could get motivated and be bothered. At the moment I avoid going out if it means walking, because it really hurts my ankles and soles of my feet, I always get a backache and my thighs rub together which is intense pain.

 

"find a way of living that works, not a diet you will quit when you've lost the weight"

 

Well I kind of already have done that... I eat real food, not junk, and I don't eat many carbs at all. I don't believe I will ever "lose the weight" as such, I mean, I'm never going to look like a tight, firm, 90lb teenager, but if I could lose just 70lb my life would be so much easier...

 

The bottom line is, that whether the plan is exercise or fiddling with my diet, the main problem isn't that I don't know what to do, it's that I have no will power or motivation at all, and I cannot understand why.

[Sussexwoman]

QUOTE=KikiW

 

"I was on Weight Watchers' online program, which was going fantastically until I had a major life change and fell off the wagon. Just now trying to get back on, but it worked wonders. They REQUIRE that you eat at LEAST 3 meals, but want you to have 2-3 snacks as well."

 

Sorry, I cannot see how increasing my doof intake can result in weight loss.

 

"Was down over 40 pounds from my peak doing that."

 

Congrats!

 

"Good luck"

 

Thanks!

[Kasan]

it's that I have no will power or motivation at all, and I cannot understand why.

 

And this is why a diet will not work for you!

 

Eating to get to your weight is a lot of work and a lot of food.

 

You need to figure out what food is taking the place of. Being this large is serving an emotional need in your life. Until you delve into the reasons that you hide behind your weight, you will continue to be overweight.

 

I would start by emptying the house of all the things that are your trigger foods.

 

If you don't have chocolate in the house, you can't eat it can you?

[Lecturer]

A few points I'd like to make.

 

1. With your condition, eating 1 (or few) MASSIVE meals is not a good idea. The spiking blood sugar will only make your cravings for chocolate (to balance out) more intense, which will in turn make your cravings for other food later more intense. All the while your body is so screwed up you'll constantly feel tired.

 

To combat this, divide your meals into smaller portions, eat one and keep the knowledge that you can eat more later. Do something to stay busy for 1-2 hours. If after that time you need to eat again, go ahead and eat more. By the end of the day you may eat the same amount, but you will be doing it in a much healthier way.

 

Once you're used to eating this way, then you need to start reducing the quantity of each of these meals. This is where you will see the biggest results... the more effort you put here, the more weight you will lose (when combined with item 2).

 

2. Your metabolism is probably almost non-existent. That is, your basal metabolic rate, which burns the majority of our daily calories, is probably super-low. As long as this is the case, you'll have a really, really tough time losing weight.

 

Fixing this, too, requires a gradual but continuous approach. Doing step 1 above will help this, but you also need to do something physical, even if its really minor. Start by walking around the block twice a day.. do a simple exercise in your home a few times a day. At your size, very simple activities should start to produce results (even stretches, leg lifts, balance exercises). Take it easy at first - a light sweat is okay, but don't get your heart rate up too high the first couple weeks. The point is being consistent and always pushing yourself (gradually but steadily).

 

Ideally, have a workout buddy that will do things with you - motivate each other. You need your exercise so ingrained into your routine that it would feel strange NOT to do it.

 

The calories burned in your exercising is not what you should be concerned about (at this stage). The point of the exercising is to increase your metabolic rate up to where it should be and re-teach your body how to burn calories by itself (when not exercising). You may only burn 200 calories with your workout directly, but it will lead to your body burning 2000 calories through its basal metabolic rate. It will also provide incentive to you to stick with the diet (who wants to eat food when they just worked so hard to work off the last food).

Edited May 6, 2010 by Lecturer

[Sussexwoman]

QUOTE=Kasan

 

"You need to figure out what food is taking the place of. Being this large is serving an emotional need in your life. Until you delve into the reasons that you hide behind your weight, you will continue to be overweight."

 

Yes, indeed, I have often thought this. I've evidently been overeating for a very long time, since I was overweight by age 18 (33 years ago).

 

During that time, my circumstances have changed many times, and yet I've always eaten chocolate and eaten too much, regardless of the circumstances. I've been in all types of relationships, for example where I loved the man more than he loved me, where we were equal, and where he loved me more than I loved him. I've overeaten throughout. I've had a career, I've been unemployed, and now I run my own small business and have more financial and emotional security than ever before. I am head-over-heels crazy in love with a man, which makes me walk around with a spring in my step and a silly grin on my face, and I am absolutely ecstatically happy every time I see him or we talk on the phone or email, which is almost every day. Yet even all this happiness has not stopped my overeating or the chocolate addiction. Maybe what I need is the love of a good dog?

 

"I would start by emptying the house of all the things that are your trigger foods. If you don't have chocolate in the house, you can't eat it can you?"

 

I do not have sugar or flour products in the house, ever. And I never keep chocolate in the house. There is a shop that sells a wide range of chocolate, just five doors from my house. When that closes at 6pm, there is another a minute away that is open till 10pm. I buy it and I eat it, it;s never kept in the house.

[Sussexwoman]

Hi Lecturer and thank you also for replying.

 

1. With your condition, eating 1 (or few) MASSIVE meals is not a good idea. The spiking blood sugar will only make your cravings for chocolate (to balance out) more intense

 

Yes, my worst chocolate cravings come about 15 minutes after a meal.

 

"To combat this, divide your meals into smaller portions, eat one and keep the knowledge that you can eat more later."

 

What do you mean by small, please?

 

"Do something to stay busy for 1-2 hours."

 

I am always, always busy, my days just fly by!

 

"If after that time you need to eat again, go ahead and eat more. By the end of the day you may eat the same amount, but you will be doing it in a much healthier way."

 

I can understand that logic. I have a problem -- I crave that "full-up" feeling. Feeling full makes me feel great, and feeling half-full or hungry makes me feel horrible and I yearn for more. That is clearly what makes me overeat. I hate feeling empty and hungry. (This is probably something that goes back to childhood or babyhood, I expect - maybe my mum didn't give me enough milk or something?)

 

"Once you're used to eating this way, then you need to start reducing the quantity of each of these meals."

 

I have read in many places that reducing food intake is the wrong way to diet as your body simply clings on to its fat reserves as it perceives itself to be in a famine situation.

 

"2. Your metabolism is probably almost non-existent. That is, your basal metabolic rate, which burns the majority of our daily calories, is probably super-low. As long as this is the case, you'll have a really, really tough time losing weight."

 

Yes, I lie down all night and sit down all day.

 

"you also need to do something physical, even if its really minor. Start by walking around the block twice a day.. do a simple exercise in your home a few times a day."

 

Yes I know this and have tried many times. I find I do the exercise and weights at home for a day or two, then cannot be bothered. I cannot imagine how people keep it up, it's so boring.

 

"Ideally, have a workout buddy that will do things with you"

 

I only wish I knew where to find one. I don't know one person who exercises. I am forever nagging my friends to come swimming with me, but they won't.

 

"You need your exercise so ingrained into your routine that it would feel strange NOT to do it."

 

Oh yes that would be a wonderful point to reach. I wish I had that feeling in my heart!

 

"The point of the exercising is to increase your metabolic rate"

 

Exercise, especially swimming, makes me ravenously hungry, making it even harder to keep to the routine.

 

I keep seeing adverts for slimming pills, but assume they are all rubbish?