360 pounds - given up!

[Rorschach]

 

I keep seeing adverts for slimming pills, but assume they are all rubbish?

 

Yes they are all crap. In fact they're worse than crap, they prey on weak willed people who feel bad about themselves but not bad enough to actually diet/workout.

 

There is no easy answer to lose weight, the only easy way is to stay big and die young. Losing weight is hard, it's always hard and there is nothing you can do to make it easy. The answer on how to lose weight is right in front of people, diet and exercise. Its just as simple (and yet frustratingly complicated) as that. If you have medical issues that complicates things beyond my own personal knowledge as far as what a good diet looks like, but it doesn't change the fact that the ONLY reliable way to lose weight is diet and exercise.

 

Even if you paid to get liposuction all that would happen is you would be temporarily skinny while your body built the fat reserves back up as you will never have changed the habits that made you heavy in the first place.

[KikiW]

QUOTE=KikiW

 

"I was on Weight Watchers' online program, which was going fantastically until I had a major life change and fell off the wagon. Just now trying to get back on, but it worked wonders. They REQUIRE that you eat at LEAST 3 meals, but want you to have 2-3 snacks as well."

 

Sorry, I cannot see how increasing my doof intake can result in weight loss.

 

"Was down over 40 pounds from my peak doing that."

 

Congrats!

 

"Good luck"

 

Thanks!

 

you mean food intake? Actually it's not the amount of food, it's the portions and number of times per day you eat.

 

If you skip meals (like I tend to do, only to shovel it in later), the body goes into starvation mode and holds on to what it already has, then holds on to what it gets when it gets it. If you eat smaller portions and snack so that you are eating something every 2-4 hours, your body knows it will continue being fed regularly and try and maximize the energy it gets from the food you eat.

 

I never would have believed it worked, except I watched my jeans get to the point where I would slide them off my hips without so much as a tug while eating 5 or 6 times a day.

[cuppa]

 

I have an account with Fitday which also tracks everything you eat. I input my food for a few days, but never seem to be able to keep it up because I keep forgetting to input and when I get round to remembering, I forget what I've eaten.

 

What I have eaten today:

Breakfast/lunch was 2 pork chops with 3oz mushrooms in cream.

 

Dinner was the same, but with some sweetcorn as well, as it was in the fridge going off.

 

I have 2 bags of crisps in the house and 2 bars of chocolate. I suspect I might eat one of each (but not two bars of chocolate!)

 

So basically, what I'm getting at, you keep focusing on the chocolate addiction but I was a chocolate addict (and I had at least 1 bar a day + 2 medium starbucks mocha ). For a while, I was loaded with caffeine & chocolate but there was no way that I could gain weight from chocolate alone if I eat everything else in moderation (I did however have problems with my health because of this).

 

Ok, so I put basic calculation.

 

Age: 30 (guessing)

Height: 5'5 (guessing)

Lifestyle: Sedentary (no active exercises)

Weight: 360 lbs

 

Strictly from the calorie perspective, if you eat 2630 calorie a day, you will potentially lose 2 lbs a week. So lets calculate what you eat.

 

Breakfast:

 

1 pork chops with 3oz mushrooms in cream

I'm going to use this label

[COLOR=#93a445]Serving Size: [/COLOR]1 chops[COLOR=#93a445]; Calories: [/COLOR]368[COLOR=#93a445], Total Fat: [/COLOR]23.675[COLOR=#93a445], Carbs: [/COLOR]12.5312[COLOR=#93a445], Protein: [/COLOR]27.

Mushrom creem sauce

[COLOR=#93a445]Serving Size: [/COLOR]1 oz[COLOR=#93a445]; Calories: [/COLOR]34[COLOR=#93a445], Total Fat: [/COLOR]2.92g[COLOR=#93a445], Carbs: [/COLOR]1.59g[COLOR=#93a445], Protein: [/COLOR]0.65g[COLOR=#93a445] [/COLOR]

 

Lunch & dinner the same, says the sweetcorn is extra 150 calories.

 

So that brings only 1380 calories.

 

How big is a bag of chip? Says, a bag of chip is 500 calories. This brings 1880 calories. 1 bar of chocolate is another 500 calories - that brings 2360 calories total.

 

You are still under your calorie intake. And if you add 20 min brisk walking (150 calories) or do stair climbing for 10 mins, you can potentially get 2200 net calories. You can still lose 2 lbs a week, mathematically speaking.

[cuppa]

There are a lot of dark chocolate out there that have low sugar. From time to time (like once a week), I eat them, only 270 calories with very little sugar. This is an alternative to your chocolate addiction. Don't quit cold turkey but compensate in others. Like some said, spread your porkchops into 6 small servings, eat them every 3 hours. Or best, do 3 porkchops small servings, alternate with snacks like fruits (a lot of them till you full), vegetables, and you can have your chocolate in your snack time.

 

Keep it under 2500 calories. I am sure you will see changes, slow maybe, but steady. Once you get into the groove, start adding brisk walking everyday. You have to be strong will about this, no pain no gain.

[Lecturer]

You make fantastic, intelligent points/questions, and I will address them happily!

 

What do you mean by small, please?

 

Small = smaller. It's up to you. IE: divide them in half, eat them in two parts.

 

I can understand that logic. I have a problem -- I crave that "full-up" feeling. Feeling full makes me feel great, and feeling half-full or hungry makes me feel horrible and I yearn for more. That is clearly what makes me overeat. I hate feeling empty and hungry.

 

I understand this completely.. I'm the same exact way. I'd rather get really hungry and eat 1 enormous meal. Unfortunately, with the way our bodies evolved, this is not good. When you eat in a feast/famine manner, our bodies behave as such and will store a huge amount of fat for that famine period that it expects (but never comes). At the same time, metabolism takes a kick in the teeth, because your body is trying to not use its caloric reserves - so you'll feel all lethargic and drained after eating so much.

 

Humans are not 'meant' to constantly have unlimited access to an abundance of food. Historically, feasting would occur on special occasions a couple times a year. What makes you think you deserve a feast every meal? .. I'm just kidding with the tough love, but that is a trick I use on myself.. I question myself and force myself to realize I'm not entitled to certain things.

 

The point is not to feel hungry constantly. One thing you learn in survival training is to not eat anything the first 24 hours. The reason is because our stomachs actually shrink a fair bit, fairly rapidly. You will find that, by reducing portion sizes, in about 2 weeks you wouldn't be able to eat NEARLY as much as you do now. Trust me on this - I know first hand. I used to be able to chow down a large pizza myself, no problem. About 2-3 weeks after I started my portion-size cutting, I couldn't even eat half.

 

I have read in many places that reducing food intake is the wrong way to diet as your body simply clings on to its fat reserves as it perceives itself to be in a famine situation.

 

You are almost right. This occurs if you starve yourself. This is why you need to only REDUCE food intake. Say I need 2000 calories a day, excluding exercise, to maintain weight. If I eat 1500 calories (and don't exercise), I'll have a caloric deficiency of 500. For my size/weight/body-fat level, that is probably the max I could do. If I were to cut more, then yes, my body would think I'm in a starving/famine situation and would try to hold onto fat reserves. With your weight, current metabolism, and probable calorie intake (I'm guessing 2800+ per day?), you could have a much larger deficiency, resulting in much more rapid weight loss (for a while).

 

Yes I know this and have tried many times. I find I do the exercise and weights at home for a day or two, then cannot be bothered. I cannot imagine how people keep it up, it's so boring.

 

Yes, you've got to find something that isn't boring. For me, I'd much rather play sports than just 'run'. You need something that gets you active, that you will have fun doing... and even better... that you NEED to do. Get a pet that you have to take for walks? Take care of someone's young child that you have to run after? Challenge yourself with traditional exercises, and work towards that. I made my biggest fitness advancements when I started playing hockey again and was embarrassed by how out of shape I was (I don't like to let people down). I started exercising vigorously 6 nights a week in order to stop being embarrassed. That worked for me.. you've got to find what works for you.

 

Exercise, especially swimming, makes me ravenously hungry, making it even harder to keep to the routine.

 

Yes, I can see that happening. After exercising, people often overcompensate, either by eating more or being less active for the rest of the day - the result being them seeing no results. You have to consciously counter this. The best counter is sticking to a routine which is difficult at first, but that you get used to eventually.

 

I keep seeing adverts for slimming pills, but assume they are all rubbish?

 

Rubbish. Some may medically reduce your diet, but I wouldn't trust anything like that. Only serious, medical intervention can make a real difference.. things like gastric bands (stomach staples). It's an option if all else fails, and you have serious fears about your long-term health (and you don't think diet/exercise will work for you).

 

Feel free to ask me more .

[shadowplay]

I think you need to cut out sugar completely from your diet (including white flour). You have a sugar addiction. If you have any sugar in your diet you will get stimulated. My mother has the same problem, and cutting out sugar completely is the only thing that's worked for her long term.

[Feelin Frisky]

Hi folks I have been dieting for 33 years. I am 51 and weight over 360lbs. My weight has doubled since my first diet.

 

In 33 yrs, I have tried everytype of diet there is.

 

People ask, what do I eat in an average day now.

 

Well, twice a day I'll have some kind of meat or fish or prawns or tuna with salad or a green vegetable like broccoli or sprouts, or mushrooms onions and capsicums. I use mayo and olive oil. I don't eat desserts and never touch alcohol. So basically, Atkins style, but with cheats.

 

I don't touch caffeine, I drink fruit tea, occasionally have a glass of milk or a sugarfree fizzy drink. I don't have sugar in the house and I avoid wheat. I do not eat pizza or McDonalds as a rule, though do have one maybe once or twice a year.

 

I never buy potatoes or rice or anything made of wheat, but I do eat them occasionally in a restaurant or at someone else's house.

 

Occasionally I will eat cake or a pastry. Maybe 4-5 times a year. I rarely eat fruit.

 

My biggest problem is that I am addicted to chocolate and every day is a struggle not to buy any. Sometimes I go 3, 4 days without it. I have gone as long as 5 months, and once, 18 months. In that 18 months I was completely sugar free, and did not lose one ounce.

 

I even bought a self hypnosis "stop eating chocolate" MP3 but I still want it 24/7. I managed 3 days until last night, when a well-meaning acquaintance bought me a giant bar, which I ate in 15 minutes.

 

I have a big appetite and like largish portions, though I only ever have one course. Little portions just leave me feeling hungry, so I end up eating more, or something else.

 

I am also able to eat when not hungry, and have a habit of doing so, a habit I don't seem to be able to stop.

 

Every time I try to be strict and keep to Atkins I fail. The chocolate addiction wins every time.

 

I've tried low fat low calorie so I can incorporate a small chocolate bar each day as part of my calorie count, but the lack of fat in the diet makes me so incredibly hungry all day long that I never stop snacking and picking, and so I always end up doubling my calorie allowance every day.

 

When I re introduce the fat (olive oil, mayo, etc) my appetite dies off very noticeably.

 

At my weight, exercise is no longer an option, other than water aerobics or swimming, which I do usually but at the moment cannot be bothered. I cannot walk more than about 500 metres.

 

Last year I went on a meat-and-fat-only diet for 5 months, and lost eleven pounds. That is the only diet that caused me to lose any weight at all. I felt brilliant but I missed other foods so much that I gave up (while I was on holiday, surrounded by carbs!)

 

All my friends and family eat whatever they want, and many of them drink a fair amount of alcohol as well. All around me I see people enjoying cakes, pastries, chocolate, pasta, pizza, meals out, and it really annoys me that my intake of all these things is severely restricted (in some cases to zero) yet here I am 5ft 3 and 360 pounds, and they are all slim. It is incredibly unfair.

 

I've read up loads about the dangers of obesity, early death, stroke, heart failure, etc, but none of it seems to scare me enough. I have my bloods checked yearly and I have excellent cholesterol readings and normal blood pressure.

 

I absolutely hate being this fat, and it restricts my life to an enormous degree. In fact I'd say that I am only having half a life because of all the sporty and active things I am now unable to do -- I cannot even ride a bike, and the cinema and theatre are now out of bounds as I can no longer fit between the arm rests on the seats. I think my sex life would be a LOT better if I were lighter as I now don't ever want to go on top, and the flab does get in the way in many positions. I do not see fat as sexy, and I think I would be a lot more uninhibited if I wasn't so ashamed of my body. I'm very sexual and would love to do more (3somes, parties, etc) but not at this weight, I am far too embarrassed and I know that 90% of people would find me grossly unattractive.

 

Yet, despite all that, I just cannot keep to any diet. Even the thought of dying young hasn't scared me into compliance.

 

How can I motivate myself?

 

"Dieting" implies a temporary stab. What you need to do--and this is not easy--is train yourself to see food as functional and not at all a pleasure/reward system. This is the indifference thin people have which is driven by thyroid and metabolism. Don't dwell on tastes, don't look at ads, start walking and see how winded you are after a measured distance. Keep at it daily until you can go further and feel less winded. Always plan a couple of days and eat exactly what you plan at the same time. Eat your protein first, then veggies and skip the starches. Don't eat a huge portion of anything. Get used to taste not mattering. Stay away from people who eat according to their mood. Join a health club and go, go,go. When you know you've lost weight, buy some new clothes and be seen by people you know--good comments boost the ego and tell you you're achieving what you want to be.

 

There are of course bariatric options but I've seen people find a way to put the most rewarding and fattening stuff into their artificially decrease stomach size--their heads have not gotten the trick that food must be functional and not a reward/pleasure system. This sets them up to remain fat despite the surgery. Remember to contain yourself and do not let social situations bring out those reward system tendencies. Dance or do something other than sample every delicacy. If you start to find a love interest this can be very good. But if the interest or infatuation turns real, be prepared to get out if the other person is toxic to your system of self esteem.

[Belle Vie]

Hi SussexWoman,

 

I've been reading your post and I really feel your frustration. I have not been 360 pounds before, but I have been overweight, and I've felt helpless with my food--everyone in my family is very overweight (250+) so I knew that was where I was headed if I wasn't careful. BUT I did take control (I lost 30 pounds) and I'm now at a healthy weight.

 

I agree with those who say this: Diets DON'T WORK. By "diet" I don't mean that you're not going to have to change your approach to food. But, except for Weight Watchers (which is a GREAT program), any diet that has you eat all of one thing, or that is asking you to combine some special combination of food, or that has the word "diet" in its title (South Beach diet, Atkins diet, etc.) is bound to fail at some point.

 

What you must think of is a LIFESTYLE CHANGE. This means that you will look at YOUR life and YOUR food triggers and YOUR mindset and make the changes that you have to to suit your own particular trouble points. For me, it's sugar. I am a sugar addict. I ate sugar all day, which just made my appetite that much more ferocious. I finally realized I CANNOT EAT SUGAR. I had to go through two weeks of withdrawal to do it, and it was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I weaned myself off of all foods with sugar in them. Now, I allow myself a dessert once in a while, but I can't have it in the house, and I don't allow it except for special occasions.

 

So, for me, there are three major factors of getting control of what I eat. The first and most improtant factor is changing your mindset and the way you view food. For instance, you've said that you HAVE to have chocolate. But do you? Really? My guess is that you have to have chocolate like I had to have sugar. It was a mental thing. You have to convince yourself that you are stronger than your trigger foods.

 

What helped me was to imagine that I was my own child, say 8 years old. The doctor has told me that if that child continues to eat sugar, she will become incredibly sick and die. What would I do to protect that child? Would I allow that child to continue to eat sugar? No, I would put my foot down. I would do everything I could to make the child comfortable through the toughest periods, and I would try to find substitute treats (fruit, plain yogurt with all-fruit jam, etc.), but I would be the adult and take care of that child.

 

If you take care of yourself as you would protect a young child in danger of disease and death, you will be able to overcome your cravings for your trigger foods.

 

I also changed my mindset by changing my view of food. Really, how comforting was that food to me? It tasted great while I was eating it, but afterward, I felt awful. So, I began to remind myself of that awful feeling BEFORE I ate poorly. Then, feeling good about eating well became the reward, not the food. The same was true for exercising. I often don't feel like exercising, but I feel great afterward. Now, that's my motivation for exercising--remembering how good I'll feel after the activity.

 

The second part of this is both the timing of your meals and portion control. Are you eating breakfast? If you're not eating breakfast, you're sabotaging your entire day. Many people will say, "I'm simply not hungry at breakfast." Absolutely doesn't matter. Eat a good breakfast (oatmeal with fruit, or scrambled egg and wheat toast--anything with protein and fiber), and you'll not be ravenous throughout the day. After a while of eating breakfast, you'll train your body to WANT breakfast (many people aren't hungry for breakfast because they eat large portions late at night). With breakfast, you'll be better able to keep your portions under control.

 

The part of this equation is incremental change and substitutions. You can't do ALL of this at once. You need to make one small change at a time. So, for instance, one change I made when I first started this journey was to give up soda. It was one thing I could focus on; I didn't change anything else. And giving up soda was a ton of calories every day, so it was a great change to make. Once that change takes hold, make another change. Perhaps vow to lift hand weights during the commercial breaks of your favorite television program three times a week. Make the change small and managable, and make it stick. Once it sticks add another change (or intensify the change you've already made).

 

As far as substitutions go, you don't want to deprive yourself of course. But you can see what's healthy for you and what's not. So if you know chocolate is your trigger, you probably don't want to eat chocolate anymore. BUT cutting it out altogether would be too difficult. So what can you have in its place, next time you have a craving? They make serveral chocolate herbal teas that you could try--the tea with a little artificial sweetener might give you that chocolate taste without the calories. Or, maybe you get some chocolate candies--even if they have calories, they will not be as caloric as full chocolate. Trade vinaigrette dressing for cream-based dressings, plain yogurt with jam for full-sugar yogurt, skim milk for whole milk, etc. For every bad food, put in a healthy food that still tastes good.

 

I did this eventually with my whole diet, and it works. But again, you make one substitution at a time and make that one thing your goal. Once you conquer that small change, you make another. Eventually, you're living the life you want to live, with the good health that you want to have.

 

It's not easy. And yes, you're making sacrifices that other people don't have to make. But this is about your life and your challenges. You just need to accept that this is your challenge, be strong, and make lifestyle changes a little at a time.

Edited May 7, 2010 by Belle Vie

[Green]

And then you gave me a diet plan, not in terms of what foods to eat, but a lot of rules about how much and when. Anything that consciously alters or restricts ones food is a diet, surely?

 

No not a diet but a permanent change in the way you live your life. The problem with you is you look for results, the way I want you to think is you are changing the way you eat regardless of results... even if you do or don't lose the weight you continue eating in a better way.

 

A couple of years back when I decided to try eating low fat I bought a bag of mini Mars bars, the idea being to have one a day, for about 100 calories. This is what happened: ate one. Enjoyed it so much, ate the one alotted for the next day, vowing not to have one the next day. Later, ate a third, vowing to not eat another for 3 days. Could barely concentrate on anything, cos I was constantly thinking about that bag of small chocolates. Next day, ate just about the whole bagful. Vowed never to buy such a bag again.

 

Figure out what works for you then, you have self control you can portion yourself. Make sure you stay full by eating 5 or 6 times a day and drinking a lot of water.

 

 

I never eat after 6pm, and I go to bed between 10-11 so I already do that. I am willing to try 5 small meals, but won't I just feel hungry and unsatisfied all day long that way? And what is a "meal"?

 

Go on the internet and look into what I'm telling you for yourself, the answers should be easy to find. I quickly found this link that kind of talks about what I'm recomending http://www.flat-stomach-exercises.com/eating-habits.html basicaly you eat through out the day so you don't get super hungry.

 

I could do that easily, if I could get motivated and be bothered. At the moment I avoid going out if it means walking, because it really hurts my ankles and soles of my feet, I always get a backache and my thighs rub together which is intense pain.

 

GET MOTIVATED! Just walk as much as you can 20 minutes if posible to begin with. Do it every day and before long you can go on 30-60 minute walks. If you can only walk 15 minutes so be it just do it... TRY!

 

Well I kind of already have done that... I eat real food, not junk, and I don't eat many carbs at all. I don't believe I will ever "lose the weight" as such, I mean, I'm never going to look like a tight, firm, 90lb teenager, but if I could lose just 70lb my life would be so much easier...

 

Don't think about the weight so much. If you get to a point where you have regularly been going on walks 30-60 minutes long that is a great place for you to be.

 

The bottom line is, that whether the plan is exercise or fiddling with my diet, the main problem isn't that I don't know what to do, it's that I have no will power or motivation at all, and I cannot understand why.

 

But you've been going about it all wrong. You look at it and think of it as deprivation and doing something just to get a result. If not walking you need to find some other activity that you can enjoy. The drinking lots of water and eating 5-6 meals would be something you would do forever even whether you lose weight or not. Just do it, if you do it today it doesn't matter if you didn't do it yesterday. Live in the moment.

[kassy]

I think you need to stop being so defensive, don't try and defend yourself. So you ate too much, and you have a health problem which you have found an unhealthy way to deal with.

 

I couldn't walk very well with my leg problem for about 5 years, there are many things you can do to help.

1) lose weight (obviously the goal here)

2) use a heat pack to warm up the joints before you start your walk

3) buy some shoes with a rocker sole (such as MBT's or Sketches I believe just put out a cheaper version) these are brilliant and make it a million times easier to walk with bad ankles.

4) get yourself an ipod full of you favorite tunes and create a playlist for that days walk.

5) walk someones dog (preferably a small one if you can't walk too far).

 

Another thing I did after my last operation was to buy a Wii - I know it sounds silly but when you are very very sedentary having to do the simple balancing games and the wii Fit games you actually do get a bit of a work out and it is quite good fun... maybe you can borrow one off a friend and give it a try and see if you like it.

 

I have to say while you say you want to change, I do find you very defensive and not very proactive. You need to decide on a strategy (one which is good) and stick to it. Maybe work some things out then run it past everyone here and see if they can't help you tweak it to get better results...

[Sussexwoman]

 

Age: 30 (guessing)

Height: 5'5 (guessing)

Lifestyle: Sedentary (no active exercises)

Weight: 360 lbs

 

Strictly from the calorie perspective, if you eat 2630 calorie a day, you will potentially lose 2 lbs a week. So lets calculate what you eat.

 

 

Hello Cuppa and thank you for your thoughts and time.

 

I am 51 and 5ft 3. Only if I go out for a meal would I ever eat as much as 2630 calories a day. My intake is usually between 1800 and 2200. So why aren't I losing weight?

 

Yesterday's food you calculated as coming to: "2360 calories including a bag of crisps and a bar of chocolate."

 

On many days, I would not have the crisps OR the chocolate, just have the meat and veg twice a day, yet I am not losing any weight at all.

[Green]

I think you need to stop being so defensive, don't try and defend yourself. So you ate too much, and you have a health problem which you have found an unhealthy way to deal with.

 

I couldn't walk very well with my leg problem for about 5 years, there are many things you can do to help.

1) lose weight (obviously the goal here)

2) use a heat pack to warm up the joints before you start your walk

3) buy some shoes with a rocker sole (such as MBT's or Sketches I believe just put out a cheaper version) these are brilliant and make it a million times easier to walk with bad ankles.

4) get yourself an ipod full of you favorite tunes and create a playlist for that days walk.

5) walk someones dog (preferably a small one if you can't walk too far).

 

Another thing I did after my last operation was to buy a Wii - I know it sounds silly but when you are very very sedentary having to do the simple balancing games and the wii Fit games you actually do get a bit of a work out and it is quite good fun... maybe you can borrow one off a friend and give it a try and see if you like it.

 

I have to say while you say you want to change, I do find you very defensive and not very proactive. You need to decide on a strategy (one which is good) and stick to it. Maybe work some things out then run it past everyone here and see if they can't help you tweak it to get better results...

 

I agree with this posts, stop making excuses and find a way to make it fun.

 

Hello Cuppa and thank you for your thoughts and time.

 

I am 51 and 5ft 3. Only if I go out for a meal would I ever eat as much as 2630 calories a day. My intake is usually between 1800 and 2200. So why aren't I losing weight?

 

Yesterday's food you calculated as coming to: "2360 calories including a bag of crisps and a bar of chocolate."

 

On many days, I would not have the crisps OR the chocolate, just have the meat and veg twice a day, yet I am not losing any weight at all.

 

Even if you only eat 2200 calories you seem to eat a lot of sugar and salt. I would focus less on the calories and more on the eating 5-6 meals a day so you never get very hungry and over eat. It also ramps up how fast you burn cals to spread out the meals like that. I eat fruits instead of candy as I find the sugar in fruits doesn't have the effect on my body the sugar in a cake or choclate would.

 

You need to start taking daily walks, even if it hurts just walk 15 minutes and stop... eventualy you will be walking 30-60 mins a day... SO DID YOU TAKE YOUR WALK TODAY?

[Belle Vie]

My intake is usually between 1800 and 2200. So why aren't I losing weight?

 

Unfortunately there are only two possible answers to that question:

 

1) It's medical. In which case you need to immediately make an appointment with a doctor and nutritionist to make a plan that works with your body chemistry so that you can lose weight.

 

2) You're underestimating your calories. You note that you're eating 1800-2200 calories a day. How do you calculate that number? Do you have a calorie counting book and do you measure your portions? Do you keep a food journal and record the type, amount, and calorie count of everything you eat in a day? Studies show that many people underestimate their calorie intake as much as 50%. If you're just estimating, then that could also be a source of the problem.

 

Did you know, for instance, that a single serving of beef or chicken is only 3.5 ounces? That's about the size of the palm of your hand (fingers not included!). That serving is about 300 calories. Look at the meat portion you're eating...is it the size of your palm? Or bigger? Most restaurant servings of beef are 8 to 12 ounces--two to three times a serving size! People might think they're eating 300 calories, when the amount is closer to 900-1000, in meat alone.

 

One serving of cereal is only a 1/2 cup to 3/4 cup, and is also about 200-300 calories. Most people, however, pour 3x to 4x that amount of cereal in their bowls and call it a "serving." That's just a couple examples of things I learned once I started getting serious about counting calories.

 

Also, when I eat 2,200 calories in a day, I gain more than a pound a week...given the fact that you want to lose weight, your current calorie count is too high, no matter what it is. So, you need to start with cutting back from where you are. If you're eating 1,800 calories, then you need to cut it back to 1,600 (by choosing lower calorie options of what you already eat). And adding exercise in to burn a couple hundred calories more.

 

I mentioned mindset in a previous post. I forgot to mention that another key to changing my mindset: I realized that if I wanted to change, I'd do what it took to change. If I didn't want it, I wouldn't. The only way to change is to actually change, period. The only way to do something is to do it.

 

It's almost silly, it's so simple. But I realized that continuing to do what I was doing was just sending my weight higher and higher. If I wanted things to change, I'd have to do something different. So I started exercising slowly, I kept a food journal (and made sure my calories were 1,600 or under every day), and made the substitutions I was talking about so that I ate very low-calorie and high-filling foods (lots of LARGE salads) so I felt stuffed, even though my meals were less than 500 calories each.

 

But if you don't want it bad enough, you won't do it. That's true for anything in life. You actually might need a real health scare to push you to change.

 

That was true for my sister--she was very overweight (almost 300 pounds) for YEARS, saying she just couldn't do it. But last year, her doctor told her that she wasn't just diabetic, but that she would lose her eyesight if she continued as she was. That shocked her to reality really quick. She got an exercise bike, cut the calories, and she's already lost about 75 pounds.

 

If you aren't motivated to change, then you might want to just accept yourself at 360. As you say, you're happy. So perhaps that's enough? And maybe something will come along that will be the motivation you need. Until then, you can still enjoy life as it is.

Edited May 7, 2010 by Belle Vie

[Green]

If you aren't motivated to change, then you might want to just accept yourself at 360. As you say, you're happy. So perhaps that's enough? And maybe something will come along that will be the motivation you need. Until then, you can still enjoy life as it is.

 

This is probably the reality as you know what you need to do or look into but if you aren't motivated you might as well just except yourself at what ever weight you are.

[Sussexwoman]

SHADOWPLAY

 

"I think you need to cut out sugar completely from your diet (including white flour). You have a sugar addiction. If you have any sugar in your diet you will get stimulated. My mother has the same problem, and cutting out sugar completely is the only thing that's worked for her long term."

 

Thank you for responding to me. Yes, someone with my condition should not be eating any sugar, ever, or white carbs, ever. As I said, white carbs play almost no part in my diet, and my only sugar intake is in the form of chocolate. That is why I focus on the chocolate so much, because clearly, it has to go.

================================

 

 

FEELIN FRISKY

 

Thank you for responding to me.

 

"what you need to do--and this is not easy--is train yourself to see food as functional and not at all a pleasure/reward system. This is the indifference thin people have"

 

This is true. I have a close friend who would not eat at all if he could live without it. It's just fuel, and he does not care what it tastes like. Food for me has huge sensual enjoyment.

 

 

"start walking and see how winded you are after a measured distance. Keep at it daily"

 

I can totaly see the sense in that and have planned to do this many many times, but when it comes to opening the door and doing it, I just choose to sit on my backside instead and surf the net, watch tv, or eat more chocolate. It's like a mental illness!

 

 

"Eat your protein first, then veggies and skip the starches."

 

I don't eat starches. Haven't eaten them (other than on special occasions) for ten years.

 

"Don't eat a huge portion of anything. Get used to taste not mattering."

 

Again I can see the sense, but I cannot imagine how I can get to that point.

 

 

"Join a health club and go, go,go."

 

I belong to a swimming pool. I did have gym membership but it was a waste of money. I only went once the whole year.

 

 

"There are of course bariatric options but I've seen people find a way to put the most rewarding and fattening stuff into their artificially decrease stomach size"

 

I've been offered surgery but the doctor said if I'm just going to continue to eat chocolate there is no point.

 

 

"Remember to contain yourself and do not let social situations bring out those reward system tendencies."

 

I go right off the rails when I am faced with a huge array of carby foods to choose from! So I do tend to avoid these situations.

 

 

"If you start to find a love interest this can be very good."

 

 

[i thought I said upthread] that I have been in long term love relationships all the time I have been gaining weight. Indeed I fell madly in love with a new man just 6 weeks ago, and am so blissfully happy that everyone sees it in my face and ask me "Are you in love or something?" Yet I am still overeating and eeating chocolate.

 

 

BELLE

 

Thank you for responding to me.

 

"look at YOUR life and YOUR food triggers and YOUR mindset and make the changes that you have to"

 

My food triggers are, feeling happy (want chocolate or a special meal to "celebrate") feeling sad or annoyed (want chocolate or a special meal to "compensate"); feeling bored, feeling stressed with busy-ness.

 

 

"I ate sugar all day"

 

Ah now you see I don't do that. (My boyfriend does and he's thin!!) The ONLY sugar I eat in a normal day is in chocolate, and when it's eaten, it's eaten. And some days, I don't even have any.

 

 

"The first and most improtant factor is changing your mindset and the way you view food."

 

 

I agree. I wish I can see it as fuel only and not as entertainment, celebration, consolation, comfort. But I cannot see how to stop.

 

 

"you've said that you HAVE to have chocolate. But do you? Really?"

 

 

Well, no. I went three days this week without it. I went 5 months last year without it. I went 18 months 2000-2001 without it!

 

 

"It was a mental thing. You have to convince yourself that you are stronger than your trigger foods."

 

 

For me, it's an impulse thing. I'll suddenly think, Hmmm.. I fancy some chocolate. I try to distract myself, I drink a pint of water. Sometimes I'll go and cook a meal with the idea that if I'm not hungry, I will forget about the chocolate. But sooner or later, I "crack" and rush out to the local shop and buy a big bar. It's always a big bar. Somehow I just cannot buy a small bar.

 

 

"What helped me was to imagine that I was my own child, say 8 years old. The doctor has told me that if that child continues to eat sugar, she will become incredibly sick and die. What would I do to protect that child? Would I allow that child to continue to eat sugar? No, I would put my foot down. I would do everything I could to make the child comfortable through the toughest periods"

 

Yes, I have had this put to me before by a therapist, by coincidence. It is an excellent psychological plan. It hasn't worked for me though.

 

 

"I would try to find substitute treats (fruit, plain yogurt with all-fruit jam, etc.)"

 

Mine would have to be protein based though!

 

 

"I also changed my mindset by changing my view of food. Really, how comforting was that food to me? It tasted great while I was eating it, but afterward, I felt awful."

 

 

Yes I have thought about this, too. After I have eaten the chocolate, and I've had a drink so the taste is no longer in my mouth, I think "Why did I eat that? What do I feel now, that made it worthwhile? Do I feel better, comforted, entertained? Do I feel different than I did before eating it?" Of course the answers are always that the choc made no difference whatsoever to me.

 

 

 

"feeling good about eating well became the reward, not the food. The same was true for exercising. I often don't feel like exercising, but I feel great afterward. Now, that's my motivation for exercising--remembering how good I'll feel after the activity."

 

 

I would LOVE to get to that "place"! I always feel brilliant after aquafit class, yet I have not been for 5 months!

 

 

"the timing of your meals and portion control. Are you eating breakfast?"

 

Yes. Almost every day.

 

 

"Eat a good breakfast (oatmeal with fruit, or scrambled egg and wheat toast--anything with protein and fiber)"

 

I do not eat oatmeal, fruit, or wheat. Today I had eggs and bacon at 0900, a bar of chocolate at 12, and nothing since (it's 7pm).

 

 

"You can't do ALL of this at once. You need to make one small change at a time."

 

OK.

 

 

"you probably don't want to eat chocolate anymore. BUT cutting it out altogether would be too difficult. So what can you have in its place... chocolate herbal teas ... chocolate candies..."

 

 

I've never found a substitute (have tried!) I really dislike anything chocolate "flavoured" and also I hate dark chocolate. I am very, very fussy about the type of chocolate that I want, and I won't eat any other kind.

 

 

"Trade vinaigrette dressing for cream-based dressings"

 

I have ONLY mayonnaise on salad.

 

 

"plain yogurt with jam for full-sugar yogurt, skim milk for whole milk, etc."

 

I don't eat yoghurt, or jam, and rarely drink milk (maybe 2 pints a year)

 

 

"For every bad food, put in a healthy food that still tastes good."

 

 

Depends what you mean by a "bad" food and a "healthy" food.

 

 

"I did this eventually with my whole diet, and it works."

 

 

I am really glad to hear it worked for you!

 

 

"you're making sacrifices that other people don't have to make."

 

 

I do find that extremely hard. I feel very envious of people who eat what they want etc.

 

 

However, I have given up smoking cannabis and later cigarettes too, all alcohol, sugar (apart from chocolate), sodas, caffeine, desserts, flour, potatoes, rice and pasta. (I do eat some of these but only occasionally, when eating in a restaurant.)

 

It feels as though chocolate is the only pleasure, the only indulgence left for me, maybe that is why it's so darned hard to give it up?

[Sussexwoman]

GREEN

 

"Even if you only eat 2200 calories you seem to eat a lot of sugar and salt."

 

I don't think salt is a problem; I don't have high blood pressure. I don't eat crisps every day, that was only one day's food, not every day.

 

"I would focus less on the calories and more on the eating 5-6 meals a day so you never get very hungry and over eat."

 

OK

 

"You need to start taking daily walks, even if it hurts just walk 15 minutes and stop... eventualy you will be walking 30-60 mins a day... SO DID YOU TAKE YOUR WALK TODAY?"

 

Yes I know, and no I didn't. I had clients in for private consultation the whole morning then my b/f came round soon after they left, and we spent the entire afternoon having sex :-)

 

===================================================

 

 

1) It's medical. In which case you need to immediately make an appointment with a doctor and nutritionist to make a plan that works with your body chemistry so that you can lose weight.

 

Seen loads of docs, nutritionists, dieticians, they all disagree with each other.

 

 

2) You're underestimating your calories. You note that you're eating 1800-2200 calories a day. How do you calculate that number?

 

I used Fitday every day for 5 months, long enough to be able to now estimate my calories.

 

"Did you know, for instance, that a single serving of beef or chicken is only 3.5 ounces?"

 

Yes.

 

"Look at the meat portion you're eating...is it the size of your palm? Or bigger?"

 

I'd say my usual portion is probably 2 times the size of my palm.

 

"One serving of cereal is only a 1/2 cup to 3/4 cup"

 

Lucky I don't eat cereal then!

 

"given the fact that you want to lose weight, your current calorie count is too high, no matter what it is."

 

I agree!

 

"I realized that if I wanted to change, I'd do what it took to change. If I didn't want it, I wouldn't."

 

This is what I am struggling with.

 

"The only way to do something is to do it."

 

Honesty homespun philosophy. Love it.

 

"I ate very low-calorie and high-filling foods (lots of LARGE salads) so I felt stuffed, even though my meals were less than 500 calories each."

 

God I wish that worked for me!

 

"But if you don't want it bad enough, you won't do it. That's true for anything in life. You actually might need a real health scare to push you to change."

 

I agree with you!

 

"If you aren't motivated to change, then you might want to just accept yourself at 360. As you say, you're happy."

 

I am generally happy with my life, yeah, but I don't revel in being 360. I dislike it. But as you say, maybe I just don't hate it enough, yet?

 

"And maybe something will come along that will be the motivation you need."

 

Things HAVE come along that are motivations, yet they have failed to motivate me. I know this is crazy! For example, I am mad about motorbikes, and years ago used to ride one. But now, I cannot get on one as my legs are just so heavy and I am not limber enough to get my leg over.

 

Anyway, the new boyfriend owns several motorbikes, including some big, juicy, gorgeous ones that I would absolutely love to have a go at riding. And, to my amazement, he said I could ride any of them! I tried getting on one, and could not because of my fat. So, look at the massive incentive I have -- the chance to ride an amazing bike. Yet still I eat chocolate and overeat. It's mad, it's mental, it's illogical. Yet I do it.

[Arabella]

I've lost over 140 lbs myself, but honestly from the sounds of it, you already know all the things that make losing weight possible (although I disagree about some things). So, I won't add anything to that department.

 

However, I will say this. While you obviously have physical issues that make it more difficult for you to lose weight, I think your main problem is psychological.

 

Maybe you don't need help from a nutritionist right now, but rather a psychologist. A professional will be able to help you understand and conquer your obsessive eating behavior and therefore, make it possible for you to implement whatever weight loss method you choose (diet, surgery, etc).

 

Best of luck,

 

Arabella

[Belle Vie]

Maybe you don't need help from a nutritionist right now, but rather a psychologist. A professional will be able to help you understand and conquer your obsessive eating behavior and therefore, make it possible for you to implement whatever weight loss method you choose (diet, surgery, etc).

 

I agree completely. While you'll find support and advice here, you won't find the motivation you're looking for here. We can't give that to you; it's only going to come from within you. A therapist could help you find out why you're letting food control you, why you're yourself off the hook so easily, and what it will take to motivate you to change your mindset and your life.

[SadandConfusedWA]

To put it blantly: your attitude sucks. You find exercise "boring", you hate feeling "half full", you like "big portions" etc etc. Guess what? Losing weight is not easy and it is uncomfortable.

 

Your desire to look better and be healthier must override the discomfort of feeling half full and exercising. If there is nothing serious going on medically, and it looks like it has been ruled out, then you are GROSSLY under-estimating the amount of calories that you are eating. Why don't you try measuring EXACTLY what you eat every single day for a week and using a website to calculate your caloric intake; but oh yeah you said you can't be bothered with that either

[Sussexwoman]

To put it blantly: your attitude sucks.

 

What a coincidence! I think your attitude sucks, too, and I'd never take advice from someone whose very name is SAD AND CONFUSED. Duh!

[kassy]

I think it is interesting that you have chosen to disregard my last post and sad and confuseds last post... I mean we aren't here to coddle you and say there there poor you you got mobidly obese and can't be bothered to change, oh isn't life unfair.

 

If you want to actually take on board some of the things people are suggesting then that is great, but at the moment you seem content to just defend your position that you know everything about weight loss and are doing most things well and somehow you are just really obese. It hasn't happened by accident, you are in my opinion in denial of what you eat, and lazy to boot. I have absolutely no idea what you came on this forum to do as it doesn't appear that you have any inclination to change a single thing in your life.

 

Also you don't think your weight affects anyone but yourself... seriously!! The fact that you can't ride a motor bike with your boyfriend, you don't think that makes him sad?? You can't walk more than 500m... so yeah that has to effect the way your entire life is lived and as a consequence how others have to act around you. Add to that they are forced to watch you slowly kill yourself... yeah no, totally, you aren't being selfish and it clearly doesn't affect anyone else at all. Get real.

 

I wish you all the best, but unless you actually want help changing things there is bugger all any of us can do to help.

[SadandConfusedWA]

Hi Rorschach!

 

I just came back to edit, and now I cannot, of course, as you have replied.

 

What I was going to add was something I forgot because I live with it 24/7 it's so normal for me I forget that others don't know about it till I tell them! DUH!

 

So I had better explain before reading/addressing your reply.

 

I suffer from a condition known as hyperinsulinaemia, or hyperinsulinism, combined with chronic hypoglycaemia.

 

And to address this, the condition is quite common. Me and my mum both have it and it simply means that you need to have some food when you get the shakes. For your blood sugar to even out you really only need say a cereal bar or few dried apricots. You don't need a truckload of food and it is in no way to blame for your weight gain (my mum is the same size she was when she was 20 and is now 56).

 

If you have 5 small meals a day and avoid high sugar foods, you can eliminate getting the sugar crashes almost completly.

 

I have gained 20lbs in the past year and I HATE it. Yet, I know I only have myself to blame. You should try taking more responsibility and control of your life.

[Belle Vie]

Me again, SW....

 

You've obviously gotten a lot of responses to your original post. Now that you're read them all, I was curious: What WOULD you like from us on this forum? We've given you all the advice we can think of, and we've tried to tell you that you CAN change. And you can.

 

But you're making conscious choices to eat more than you know you should and exercise not at all. (And they are conscious, whether you want to admit it or not) Right there, you're done. Not a chance for change. If you're not willing to make ANY change, then you know that in your heart you prefer your current lifestyle to getting healthy.

 

If you prefer health to your current situation, however, tell us: What ONE thing in your life are you willing to change today? Something small enough to accomplish, but big enough to make a difference? Such as making a 10-minute walk every day (10 minutes too much? Make it five. Five minutes too much? Make it one.) OR taking a swim 2x a week OR cutting the portion of just ONE thing you eat regularly in half OR trade an unhealthy food for a healthy one, etc. (by the way, mayonaisse on salad or on anything, for that matter=UNHEALTHY!)

 

Are those changes too big? Make it something smaller. Choose a high-calorie food that doesn't mean that much to you, but that you eat regularly anyway, to not eat anymore. You don't have to give up chocolate. Knock out something that won't hurt. (For instance, when I gave up soda, it wasn't that big of a deal, because I didn't like it all that much in the first place.)

 

Or, vow to leave just THREE BITES of food on your plate at each meal. Three bites--that's not too much too give up is it?

 

You can do just one of these small things, can't you? I've said before that you don't have to do this all at once. You can start with one change. If you like, we can be your sounding board. We'll cheer you on each day you achieve in sustaining it. We'll tell you to get back to it if you falter. Remember, your goal is no longer to lose the weight. Your goal is to make just one small change in your life. Tiny. Hardly even notice it.

 

So what change will you make? Tell us, right now. And tell us what you'd like from US to help you make it.

[Green]

GO ON YOUR WALK! respond to this and tell me about how you took a walk. Enjoy the walk, clear you mind and reflect on things. Observe whats going on outside while you take your walk.... GO ON YOUR WALK TODAY! It doesn't matter what you did in the past or will do tommorow but here in the now you need to go on your walk it will only take 20-30 minutes out of your day to take this walk and the effects will be two fold. FIRST your going to burn cals on the walk SECOND you will build muscle THIRD its good for your heart/lungs FINALY your going to rev up your matabolism... it will make a HUGE difference. YOU CAN FIT IT INTO YOUR DAY and ENJOY IT. DO IT NOW IF YOU HAVN"T DONE IT YET JUST DO IT AND COME BAcK AND TELL US. DON"T RESPOND TILL YOU'VE DONE IT>>> JUST GO NOW! NOW!

[pandagirl]

I am thin person, so maybe my advice will not be heeded, but back in my teens, I was pretty unhappy, weighed 30 lbs more than I do now... etc.

 

Anyway, the point is -- I think you know what you have to do to lose weight. But your emotional and intellectual parts aren't matching up. You *understand* how to lose weight, but something isn't clicking for you.

 

Everyone is giving you the advice of eating less, cutting out chocolate, exercising, etc....this is all pretty obvious information, right? You know these stuff already, so that begs the question, what is stopping you?

 

You say you're happy, which is great! But part of you must be really sad that you are very overweight. To try over and over again to lose weight and not be successful, must feel like a huge failure.

 

Let me ask you a question: do you think you deserve to lose weight and be happy?