A Serious Question for Those Who Hate Porn

[ADF]

LS has featured many long and heated threads about the alleged dangers of men watching pornography. My question is simple. For those in the anti-porn camp, and especially those who see porn as a dangerous social influence, what do you propose to do about it?

 

No one on LS, so far as I know, has advocated censorship. But what's left? Aside from trying to shame or berate men for looking at porn, what concrete, specific steps do you propose society take to deal with what you see as a grave social problem?

[Els]

I'm not one of them, but I suspect they want their partners to just not WANT to look at porn as opposed to society simply 'doing something to stop them'. Censorship would then defeat their purpose because now it's forbidden fruit, ergo sweeter and more desirable.

[shadowofman]

The trend is more likely to create larger and larger populations in favor of porn. I believe the anti-pornsters are going to be phased out if they have not been already severely marginalized.

[sally4sara]

I'm not entirely for or against porn.

 

I think for a change to happen without stepping all over the first amendment, boys would need to be raised to view compatibility and connection with women on an emotional level as a way to prove their masculinity rather than simply bedding women as a way to prove their masculinity.

 

Sure we can f**k, all life does. But can you get in someone's mind and heart?

 

THAT is much harder to do.

 

And porn meets the standard way men currently have for proving their masculinity without any work. So there will also need to be an emphasis on real experience over the image of it.

[shadowofman]

I think all this masculinity talk is psych-babble. I don't feel more masculine after I watch porn. I don't associate porn with masculinity. I associate it with orgasm.

[sally4sara]

I think all this masculinity talk is psych-babble. I don't feel more masculine after I watch porn. I don't associate porn with masculinity. I associate it with orgasm.

 

It might not be a big deal to you, but I've seen it be a big deal for some. And without knowing any other way of life - one can't really say how different things would be.

 

You've been watching porn for so long, it is hard for you to really say how much influence it has made on your sexual identity. I'm not trying to suggest you're effed up or living wrong, only that you are the only way you know to be.

[shadowofman]

Porn is simply a form of visual stimulation for the purpose of orgasm. Men like it be cause porn is very visually stimulating. Much like a lover of flowers would enjoy a photo of a field.

 

People that are against porn either 1) find it degrading to someone or something, or 2) are threatened by it. The rest recognize both it's worth and it's dangers.

[Engadget]

I'm not entirely for or against porn.

 

I think for a change to happen without stepping all over the first amendment, boys would need to be raised to view compatibility and connection with women on an emotional level as a way to prove their masculinity rather than simply bedding women as a way to prove their masculinity.

 

Sure we can f**k, all life does. But can you get in someone's mind and heart?

 

THAT is much harder to do.

 

And porn meets the standard way men currently have for proving their masculinity without any work. So there will also need to be an emphasis on real experience over the image of it.

 

Yes but that male mindset was around long before porn in video, or magazine form ever, ever existed.

 

Gender roles are changing nowadays as well. Hell I'd love it if I met a girl who watched porn on her own. I know some do, but they don't out and out admit it usually.

[sally4sara]

Yes but that male mindset was around long before porn in video, or magazine form ever, ever existed.

Gender roles are changing nowadays as well. Hell I'd love it if I met a girl who watched porn on her own. I know some do, but they don't out and out admit it usually.

 

And so was proving masculinity through sex.

[ADF]

I'm not entirely for or against porn.

 

I think for a change to happen without stepping all over the first amendment, boys would need to be raised to view compatibility and connection with women on an emotional level as a way to prove their masculinity rather than simply bedding women as a way to prove their masculinity.

 

Sure we can f**k, all life does. But can you get in someone's mind and heart?

 

THAT is much harder to do.

 

And porn meets the standard way men currently have for proving their masculinity without any work. So there will also need to be an emphasis on real experience over the image of it.

 

So do you believe the men who value being meaningfully connected to women watch porn less than other men?

[dreamingoftigers]

So do you believe the men who value being meaningfully connected to women watch porn less than other men?

 

I believe this.

 

What I believe should be done about it:

 

I think that it should be more securely regulated so that no young man under the age of 18 has access to it. At least by then some other parts of his sexuality will have started to form.

 

I think that porn sites should have to advertise resources for addicts, just like VLTs, and provide a link to a questionnaire to whether or not you may have a problem.

 

I also think that porn sets should be more closely monitored so that the women have an "Advocate" in case she is in distress over treatment she is receiving.

 

That's it for now.

[Feelin Frisky]

Anti-pornsters are either frigid or semi frigid. They are also sexually repressed by tradition or dogma. There is a different biology between men and women. Men produce loads of sperm and their testosterone effects their minds to want to orgasm. Woman don't have the same biology. If you're lucky you'll find a partner who is sexually astute and willing to enjoy porn with you. Or you could marry a prude and find yourself jerking off every damn night while your partner sleeps her youth and potency away.

[ADF]

I believe this.

 

What I believe should be done about it:

 

I think that it should be more securely regulated so that no young man under the age of 18 has access to it. At least by then some other parts of his sexuality will have started to form.

 

I think that porn sites should have to advertise resources for addicts, just like VLTs, and provide a link to a questionnaire to whether or not you may have a problem.

 

I also think that porn sets should be more closely monitored so that the women have an "Advocate" in case she is in distress over treatment she is receiving.

 

That's it for now.

 

Thank you. This was the kind of answer I was fishing for. Just for the record, I am not a member of the anti-porn camp (big surprise, right?). But these are indeed concrete suggestions.

[dreamingoftigers]

Anti-pornsters are either frigid or semi frigid. They are also sexually repressed by tradition or dogma. There is a different biology between men and women. Men produce loads of sperm and their testosterone effects their minds to want to orgasm. Woman don't have the same biology. If you're lucky you'll find a partner who is sexually astute and willing to enjoy porn with you. Or you could marry a prude and find yourself jerking off every damn night while your partner sleeps her youth and potency away.

 

I absolutely loved sex and every which way it could be done, i wanted to have sex every single day a few times a day just like my husband and I used to. every position, permutation and combination available.

 

My husband developed a porn addiction and didn't want to sleep with me anymore. I think it is sad to waste such a gift as a woman who wants to get down a lot.

 

I hate porn because it replaced me, but that does not make me frigid.

[sally4sara]

So do you believe the men who value being meaningfully connected to women watch porn less than other men?

 

I have not done enough sampling to be able to say but my limited tho diverse findings say yes.

[somedude81]

I absolutely loved sex and every which way it could be done, i wanted to have sex every single day a few times a day just like my husband and I used to. every position, permutation and combination available.

 

My husband developed a porn addiction and didn't want to sleep with me anymore. I think it is sad to waste such a gift as a woman who wants to get down a lot.

 

I hate porn because it replaced me, but that does not make me frigid.

I don't mean to be rude but you are a heavier woman. Most men are turned on by women with thin attractive bodies.

 

That may be why he chose porn...

[Woggle]

I am sorry for women going through this issue but I must admit a little bit of smug satisfaction that now women have something that makes them feel unneeded and disposable. For how long have women been touting the vibrator as something that makes men obsolete?

[ADF]

I have not done enough sampling to be able to say but my limited tho diverse findings say yes.

 

I don't know the answer, either. However, I can say with some confidence that porn watching is probably FAR more common among men than many women believe.

 

Recently, the University of Montreal tried to do a controlled study about a possible link between exposure to porn and violence towards women. In the end, the study had to be abandoned because the researchers could not assemble a control group. They could not find a single man who didn't look at porn!

 

Alfred Kinsey once said that 90% or men masturbated, and the remaining 10% were liars. Again, I don't know this for a fact, but I suspect the same holds true for porn.

[sally4sara]

I don't know the answer, either. However, I can say with some confidence that porn watching is probably FAR more common among men than many women believe.

 

Recently, the University of Montreal tried to do a controlled study about a possible link between exposure to porn and violence towards women. In the end, the study had to be abandoned because the researchers could not assemble a control group. They could not find a single man who didn't look at porn!

 

Alfred Kinsey once said that 90% or men masturbated, and the remaining 10% were liars. Again, I don't know this for a fact, but I suspect the same holds true for porn.

 

I know most watch. A study could start with "at what age did you start", "how often do you watch" and "what porn do you prefer" rather than simple "do you watch" tho.

[sweetjasmine]

So do you believe the men who value being meaningfully connected to women watch porn less than other men?

 

I don't know if it's true in general, but that matches my personal experience.

 

However, I can say with some confidence that porn watching is probably FAR more common among men than many women believe.

 

Eh? I tend to assume every man with a normally functioning body watches it to some extent or another. I do believe the very few who say they don't watch porn at all and get themselves off using their imagination.

[ADF]

I know most watch. A study could start with "at what age did you start", "how often do you watch" and "what porn do you prefer" rather than simple "do you watch" tho.

 

Yes. yes. I didn't think of that. Excellent point.

[threebyfate]

LS has featured many long and heated threads about the alleged dangers of men watching pornography. My question is simple. For those in the anti-porn camp, and especially those who see porn as a dangerous social influence, what do you propose to do about it?

 

No one on LS, so far as I know, has advocated censorship. But what's left? Aside from trying to shame or berate men for looking at porn, what concrete, specific steps do you propose society take to deal with what you see as a grave social problem?

While I don't think that porn is a danger to society, I do feel that it's pretty scummy.

 

How I've dealt with it is not to get involved with men who NEED it. The more women who take this action, the less that porn needing men get to add to the gene pool or even have sex, which will make them rely on porn more hence their strain will eventually die out. With the cessation of porn needing men, the demand for porn will die and women who get involved in the skin industry will have to go out and get real jobs, which means more tax payers.

[dreamingoftigers]

I don't mean to be rude but you are a heavier woman. Most men are turned on by women with thin attractive bodies.

 

That may be why he chose porn...

 

Um, he looks at heavier women. and he married me at a much heavier weight than I am now.

 

Furthermore. c'mon, as if the real thing should get turned down.

[blair08]

I have a link that talks about a womans struggle in the porn industry, how she broke free from it and about alot of others porn stars who got out of it as well. Including some men porn actors too. It tells the other side of porn and how its not glamorous as they make it out to be. I think one of most lowest, cruelest things a person can say to someone or about someone who was/is in the porn industry that has been abused and suffered is, well they deserved what they got. I have heard people say it, and seen it on here. It wouldn't matter much if I posted the link because people or someone will make a justification about the site, and condemn them all because that person doing the condemning loves porn and is a advocate for it anyway.

[sally4sara]

One of the things I wondered about.

 

In another thread about porn, some offered up a link to interview of porn actresses talking about how badly they were treated by directors and male porn actors.

 

I've also read that for a male to get into porn they have to start with gay porn. Not sure how 100% that is, but if the actor isn't gay, needs the money bad enough to do it anyway, could that angst contribute to how they treat their female counterparts?