giotto Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 You're welcome ....... good job it was free cos I'm not sure that I helped! well, an input from a lady is always useful... just to make sure I make some sense... Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 well, an input from a lady is always useful... just to make sure I make some sense... Well then, I'm very glad to be of service. Link to post Share on other sites
florence of suburbia Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 (edited) Re the comment that courting won't work for HV and Gioto b/c their wives have issues...I don't mean to make light of anyone's situation, but everyone has issues. And to each person those issues are very real and daunting, whether or not they seem as "big" from an outsider's perspective. Focusing on why a certain approach won't work is not going to solve the problem. Edited February 20, 2011 by florence of suburbia Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 I can do the courting, but my wife will read through it and say... you are doing that because you want sex... which is true, really... well, I want sex amongst other things... Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 Re the comment that courting won't work for HV and Gioto b/c their wives have issues...I don't mean to make light of anyone's situation, but everyone has issues. And to each person those issues are very real and daunting, whether or not they seem as "big" from an outsider's perspective. Focusing on why a certain approach won't work is not going to solve the problem. Yes, we all have issues and comparisons of who's issue's are bigger or worse or whatever are not helpful. To that individual their issues are serious - whatever they may be. However, some issues have no bearing on that person's libido, or lack of it and therefore may not impact on their relationship or their partner's sex life. It doesn't matter how 'big' the issue is, it's the effect it has on the person's life and the lives of their families that matters. HV and giotto's wives 'issues' have a direct impact on their relationship with their husbands and on their sex lives - and therein lies their problem. HV and giotto can court their wives all they want, but if their wives don't want to be courted they are wasting their time. Link to post Share on other sites
florence of suburbia Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 HV and giotto can court their wives all they want, but if their wives don't want to be courted they are wasting their time. Good point. The desire to be courted is pretty deeply ingrained. My twelve year old fantasizes about it, while at the same time it scares her and she's not ready for it. She wouldn't know what to do with a boy if she had him. Still, I'd say their desire to be courted is blocked or undermined, not absent. Not sure that means there's nothing Giotto and HV can do about it...I honestly don't know the answer. Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Not sure that means there's nothing Giotto and HV can do about it...I honestly don't know the answer. I know the answer... my wife would like to be desired and courted and she likes cuddling. The problem is, even if I give her all this, it doesn't translate into sex on the long or short term, because she is not interested in it. Selfishly, she would love more attention, but I would get nothing in return, so it would be a waste of time. She is also a very private person and too much attention would mean an invasion of her privacy - it's very difficult for me to know where to draw the line. Basically, everything should be done according to her mood... forget about my needs! She doesn't say this to me, but her actions speak very loudly to me. Unfortunately, there isn't a magic wand for this. She needs some very heavy therapy to sort herself out, but she won't do it. She'd rather be in bed and be asleep so she doesn't have to think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Lexygirl Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Glad that worked for you, but I have to say that your advice is far from universal. Not all women play games, and I think you're a bit hypocritical to say your efforts include cessation of her game play, and meanwhile you introduce your own games. Most women I've spoken to might do something like dress sexy and try to seduce their guy - and contrary to your advice, the very best thing for the guy to do is to show how irresistible she is by grabbing her right there and throwing her on the bed or pinning her against the wall. Afterwards she feels sexy and special, and that paves the way for sex again the next day (or after a snack). Guys that ignore their girl make their girl feel like crap, and doing it enough might make them far more receptive to any OTHER guy that happens to think she is sexy. Anyway, I don't play games, and would rather not bother if that is what I'd have to do to get sex. I wholeheartedly agree with this post and was going to say something similar myself !!! Link to post Share on other sites
Honorable_Venerable Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Re the comment that courting won't work for HV and Gioto b/c their wives have issues...I don't mean to make light of anyone's situation, but everyone has issues. And to each person those issues are very real and daunting, whether or not they seem as "big" from an outsider's perspective. Focusing on why a certain approach won't work is not going to solve the problem. Ultimately, only the person with the "issue" can solve it. Anyone else can provide support, assistance or circumstances that allow them the time, resources and wherewithal to do so, but ultimately unless someone wants to resolve an issue themselves, it won't get resolved. Link to post Share on other sites
florence of suburbia Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 Ultimately, only the person with the "issue" can solve it. Anyone else can provide support, assistance or circumstances that allow them the time, resources and wherewithal to do so, but ultimately unless someone wants to resolve an issue themselves, it won't get resolved. I agree with you 100% on that one. There are personal issues and then there are relationship issues. You and your wife are dealing with both. If your wife is terrified of letting her guard down, that's a personal issue. If one person in a marriage wants sex and another does not, that's a relationship issue. I can see that solving the first is a prerequisite to solving the second, but I would be shocked if nothing more was required. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tnttim Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 I wholeheartedly agree with this post and was going to say something similar myself !!! Ladys and Gentleman let me introduce the only 2 ladies on Earth that don't play games!!!!!!!! Is dressing sexy for a man not a game? Link to post Share on other sites
Jack & Coke Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Ladys and Gentleman let me introduce the only 2 ladies on Earth that don't play games!!!!!!!! Is dressing sexy for a man not a game? Ya know, there would be more truth in relationships if we all came to grips with the fact that little "games" are constantly played, lol. It's human nature honestly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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