leftalone Posted January 23, 2004 Share Posted January 23, 2004 about a month ago i caught my husband cheating and he up and walked out. to make the situation worse i was 9 weeks pregnant. i was already having a rough pregnancy, but with all the stress i miscarried a week later, and he don't give a damn. i am having the hardest time gaining control of my life, i can barely make it from day to day. up untill the day he left our marriage was perfect, we hardly fought, he played a great part. now i am alone with no husband, i have lost my baby and do not know how to get my life back. any advice. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted January 23, 2004 Share Posted January 23, 2004 I can't solve your problems, all I can do right now is give you my sincerest sympathy on your losses, and a great big hug. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 23, 2004 Share Posted January 23, 2004 I can second the hug, and offer the suggestion of counseling/therapy. You had a chain reaction of incredible trauma, each one of which is reason enough alone to go. Link to post Share on other sites
lquidmetalspine Posted January 31, 2004 Share Posted January 31, 2004 Well I third that hug, and thats a group hug right there. I am in agreement with Dyer. counseling and or therapy would help out alot. Sorry that this has happened to you. Things will get better. Link to post Share on other sites
Patty Posted January 31, 2004 Share Posted January 31, 2004 Another hug from me.It would really do you good to get counceling.Talking to a professional will really help you in more ways then you could ever imagine.Loveshack is here for you though.Do come by if you need our support.Thats what we're here for. Patty Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted January 31, 2004 Share Posted January 31, 2004 And, a big hug here too. I'm well acquainted with thinking the marriage is perfect only to find out it's actually a fraud. I thought ours was great for seven years, till this past August when TBXW sat me down and told me she'd been secretly miserable for almost the whole time and had had 3 affairs during that time. Don't expect to get your life back right away. Your goal for the moment has to be "coping". For the first two months after TBXW dumped everything on me, I was a basket case. It's steadily gotten better since, but I'm not totally over things by any means; right now it's two steps forward, one step back. But I'm definitely into recovery. Confide in people. Talk to your close friends, and tell them everything you have to in order to make yourself feel better. Talk to your parents and/or siblings; mine have been an invaluable resource over the last six months. And, especially, talk to a counsellor. If you think they might help, see your doctor about low-grade antidepressants. If you think there might be any hope of fixing your marriage, or if you want to, check out marriagebuilders.com. Could have some useful info, or at least a heavy-used board where you're sure to find additional supportive listeners. Best wishes... you will get through this. It just takes time. Link to post Share on other sites
Helpme2004 Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 im so sorry for your loss on your baby been there myself its not easy too lose miscarry a child and too be alone at that..deepest sympathy as far as your husband hes a total insensitive jerk Link to post Share on other sites
Pretteangel Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 I want to say that you are in denial! If your marriage was so great why did he leave? Sometimes we may think everything is so great when it is not. It is time to be very honest with yourself here. He is not responsible for your well being. Loosing the baby was awful and I am so sorry for that however it is not his fault. You are making him responsible for your life and how you feel and react and that is plain wrong! A break up is always very difficult but when one person does not want the other anymore, they deserve respect to be let go. You are responsible for your life , now go live it. Good luck! Lean of family and friends and perhaps you need more help to get over this. God Bless. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 Let's be a little easier on leftalone. She has lost her unborn child, her belief in her happy marriage, and her actual husband, all in one short period of time. The stress of that kind of grief would push almost anyone over the edge. She may be in some denial - if so, it is a protective reaction of her mind which is only filtering part of the pain in at a time. It's quite normal to be in denial when grief is fresh. Check out "the six stages of grief". This is her time to come to grips with her losses in whatever way she can. Leftalone, I hope you are with family or friends now. If not, please call your minister/priest/rabbi/whatever, or call a local support hotline. Or keep posting here. There are many caring souls who will listen and be here for you. Please take advantage! This is not a time for you to be alone with your thoughts at all hours. We'll get you through hour to hour if need be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author leftalone Posted February 7, 2004 Author Share Posted February 7, 2004 Originally posted by Pretteangel I want to say that you are in denial! If your marriage was so great why did he leave? Sometimes we may think everything is so great when it is not. It is time to be very honest with yourself here. He is not responsible for your well being. Loosing the baby was awful and I am so sorry for that however it is not his fault. You are making him responsible for your life and how you feel and react and that is plain wrong! A break up is always very difficult but when one person does not want the other anymore, they deserve respect to be let go. You are responsible for your life , now go live it. Good luck! Lean of family and friends and perhaps you need more help to get over this. God Bless. Well, maybe you think I am in denial, but I have done research on men who cheat and 70% of the time they ACT like everything is perfect. I am not mistaken anything, his family and mine will agree, everything seemed perfect. As for my unborn child, if you know anything about pregnancy you would know how delicate that precious life is and what stress can do to a womens body. My pregnancy had no complications, untill he left. I know that I control my life, but right now it is spinning out of control because of his actions, and now I am trying to grasp it, slowly but surely. When you truely love a person like I loved my husband, they are your life, every thought, everything you do and everywhere you look you see them. Now i am readjusting to doing things for me, but that does not come easy. Link to post Share on other sites
lquidmetalspine Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 Angel if you come back to read up on things, I hope you see this. That was very horrible of you. Some of us do have problems that take us by surprise and our life seems to be gone. Leftalone has had a couple things happen to her yeah, but those two things in a reall persons life could very well cause them to be so depressed that there is little hope of comming out of it. Loosing a child alone could damage a persons thoughts and the way they live from that moment on. And having her mate leave her when she is at her most needfull time. This sickens me, and its worse that you would give that kind of advice to someone that is looking for someone to help keep her up in need. sorry to everyone, I didnt think it was right. I felt I had to say what I thought about that one. Link to post Share on other sites
Leid Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 about a month ago i caught my husband cheating and he up and walked out. to make the situation worse i was 9 weeks pregnant. i was already having a rough pregnancy, but with all the stress i miscarried a week later, and he don't give a damn. i am having the hardest time gaining control of my life, i can barely make it from day to day. up untill the day he left our marriage was perfect, we hardly fought, he played a great part. now i am alone with no husband, i have lost my baby and do not know how to get my life back. any advice. woah... sorry for your losses. I, too, offer a hug. I hope things work out for you.. and they will. Leid Link to post Share on other sites
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