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I Need Help!


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I have a serious problem with relationships, both friendship and romantic. For the last seven years, I have been afraid of knowing other people. I am now twenty and a junior in college; I have yet to have a girlfriend or even group of friends to "hang out" with. The closest I've ever come to kissing someone is a handshake. Almost everyday since I was thirteen, once class was over, I locked myself in my bedroom and did not exit until the next morning. I didn't go to my prom. (The only party I've ever gone to was a sixth grade dance.) I've never gone to a high school or a college sporting event.

 

As I said, I'm now a junior in college. The only people I know are the people in my classes. I'm afraid to approach to them or anybody I don't know. I'm not afraid of being rejected so much as I'm afraid of being accepted. In the last six months I spent five hundred dollars on online dating services, thinking that meeting people as a pen pal would be easier than face to face. In every service I subscribed to, someone sent me a letter wanting to know me. I might have sent one or two letters, each with a nice reply. But when signs say she likes me, I bail out every time. The same thing happens when someone (guy or girl) just wants to be a friend.

 

So here I stand, a twenty year old loner. People all around me enjoy my presence, but I never feel secure around other people. For the last two years, I've attempted to change this with no success. Got any suggestions?

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It might be time to see a therapist. There's a disorder that is similar to the situation you describe. Disorders can be treated - and are much easier to get rid of with the help of a trained specialist. Your life is impacted negatively by this, which means it's time to get help. Good luck!

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