"Never date a cop."

[Scarlett513]

"Never date a cop." I have heard this so many times. I've also heard it about firefighters.

 

My ex was in law enforcement. The new guy I just met is a state trooper. It's not like I go out looking for them, it's just been coincidence.

 

I'm kind of curious why people are so adamant about this, and if there's any truth behind it. I know the divorce rate is high in these professions. Would you date a cop/firefighter?

[sally4sara]

I would not date a cop, got nothing against firefighters, but no way EVER to cops.

 

They are in a position of authority and trained to react swiftly to perceived aggression. Not a great quality in a relationship when a fight occurs.

 

They are "in the know" to things regular folk are not as privy to, giving them a sense of it being okay to adopt the "what they don't know won't hurt you" mindset. It is an alluring thing to be able to be out and about with knowledge of things others do not. An attitude of entitlement sets in. Another not so great quality in a relationship.

 

Most people get suspicious about others doing things they would stoop to do themselves. Cops wind up suspicious of everyone for anything because they've seen it too often. They get lied to all day. Thinking everyone is a liar is another not so great quality to have to deal with in a relationship.

 

They have power others do not while still being human and emotional. If their chin is out over a break up, they can "get even" in ways others cannot do without repercussions. So you can dump a civilian and yeah, they might do something crappy to you - you can call the cops over it. If the person you dumped is a cop - then what do you do?

[Sazerac]

I don't think that's a fair assessment at all. I've two close friends who are police officers (one a city officer, the other a state trooper) and they are very gentle, family-oriented guys. One is happily married and the other is looking.

 

What might be a no-deal is that cops lead very dangerous lives, as do firefighters. The spouses of cops have to deal with a great deal of stress as they don't know whether when they kiss their husband or wife off to work, if that's the last time they'll ever see them again. It's definitely a "live for the moment" kind of relationship. OTOH, they tend to value whatever they have with their partner deeply.

 

But I wouldn't write off officers just because of their profession. Evaluate them as dating/marriage partners on a casewise basis, as you would anyone else.

[sally4sara]

I don't think that's a fair assessment at all. I've two close friends who are police officers (one a city officer, the other a state trooper) and they are very gentle, family-oriented guys. One is happily married and the other is looking.

 

What might be a no-deal is that cops lead very dangerous lives, as do firefighters. The spouses of cops have to deal with a great deal of stress as they don't know whether when they kiss their husband or wife off to work, if that's the last time they'll ever see them again. It's definitely a "live for the moment" kind of relationship. OTOH, they tend to value whatever they have with their partner deeply.

 

But I wouldn't write off officers just because of their profession. Evaluate them as dating/marriage partners on a casewise basis, as you would anyone else.

 

I know it is not fair. Not all cops will be this way, but while you have seen it be alright, I have seen it go the way I described. And it is a risk I'd never take. I've had cops put me in their gun sites when I was doing nothing wrong. Mistaken identity, false report. So these risks will be more imperative and real to me.

[Engadget]

I'd say never date the dickhead cops, but there are normal ones. My friend is a part time officer and he's how cops should be, not a tough guy ******* who treats everyone like a murderer.

 

Cops today are almost trained to be psychotic. I've been pulled over for minor things like a tail-light out, and they approach with their hand on their gun ready for you to pull a weapon on them, and contrary to popular belief that doesn't happen often.

[Art_Critic]

One of my brother in laws in a police officer.. on the violent offense task force and he is the most normal wonderful husband and father..

Not a mean bone in his body...

 

My wife's father is a retired firefighter and he is a wonderful man..

 

I will say though there are the aggressive types that have trouble treating women right...

but isn't that anywhere..

What about football players ?

 

there are bad cops too.. just recently a police officer in this county accidentally killed a police officer friend of his in a boating accident and he tried to cover it all up because he was trying to hide an affair that he was cheating on his his and the girl was on the boat..

He was fired and arrested..

 

I think if I was a girl and was thinking about dating a cop I would look at it on a case by case kinda deal and not make a sweeping generalization since there are bad ones and good ones..

[Lizzie60]

I would .. if I want some fun...

 

but for a committed relationship.. no.. never.. no cops or firefighters..

 

A friend of mine worked all her life in a police station.. and she said there was NO exceptions.. they all cheat... with female staff... with female police officers (they sometimes are doing their shifts together)...

 

I've personally known a few cops.. and they are ALL cheaters..

 

I just dumped one (never had sex with though) but he was insistant.. I had to dump him.. I wasn't interested in sex .. he was a RCMP officer (high end job with the gov't... terrorists investigation).. they're all the same.. they think that because they have an authority profession, women will automatically fall for them... a lot of women do.. NOT ME..

[Engadget]

I would .. if I want some fun...

 

but for a committed relationship.. no.. never.. no cops or firefighters..

 

A friend of mine worked all her life in a police station.. and she said there was NO exceptions.. they all cheat... with female staff... with female police officers (they sometimes are doing their shifts together)...

 

I've personally known a few cops.. and they are ALL cheaters..

 

I just dumped one (never had sex with though) but he was insistant.. I had to dump him.. I wasn't interested in sex .. he was a RCMP officer (high end job with the gov't... terrorists investigation).. they're all the same.. they think that because they have an authority profession, women will automatically fall for them... a lot of women do.. NOT ME..

 

I wouldn't say they all do.

[Lizzie60]

I wouldn't say they all do.

 

I say they ALL do..

[SilentVoice]

I wouldn't date a cop for the same reason i won't date someone in the army , navy air force, etc.. i won't be able to deal with a partner doing that type of work.. nearly fell for someone in the force last year but it isn't far to me or him if i am really not comfortable with what he does for a living....but i will date a fire fighter

[Engadget]

I wouldn't date a cop for the same reason i won't date someone in the army , navy air force, etc.. i won't be able to deal with a partner doing that type of work.. nearly fell for someone in the force last year but it isn't far to me or him if i am really not comfortable with what he does for a living....but i will date a fire fighter

 

There's a lot of cheating among women dating military men who get deployed it seems. It must be tough to be alone for however long.

[Ruby Slippers]

I have always heard that cops are control freaks. And yes, it makes sense that cops and firemen can easily get women, especially firemen. This cute 21-year-old fireman was trying to pick me up a while back, and after I'd clearly rejected him, he started talking about his woman woes. I said, "Honey, you're a FIREMAN. You're not going to have any problem getting women. You know, the whole hero thing?"

 

One of my sisters is dating a cop right now, and the other sister closest to her says she's not even the same person around him. She normally doesn't take any crap from anybody, but she seems to let this cop walk all over her. They must be having some really great sex for her to allow it.

[Art_Critic]

I say they ALL do..

 

 

As if you know all of the 100's of thousands of Canadian Police officers...

 

or the Million of American Police officers..

[Lizzie60]

As if you know all of the 100's of thousands of Canadian Police officers...

 

or the Million of American Police officers..

 

 

As if YOU know them too..

[Art_Critic]

As if YOU know them too..

 

I know my BIL... he isn't a cheater..

 

 

Besides.. I never made the claim that they all don't cheat You made the claim that they all do..

I also said there are good cops and bad cops.. just like anywhere else in society..

 

So there..

[Lizzie60]

I know my BIL... he isn't a cheater..

 

 

Besides.. I never made the claim that they all don't cheat You made the claim that they all do..

I also said there are good cops and bad cops.. just like anywhere else in society..

 

So there..

 

 

Trust me.. he could be the greatest guy in the world.. and have his dirty little secret.. you have noooo clue.. honestly.

 

I met a guy once (we met in a parking lot at night).. He said he was the perfect husband, the perfect father, friend, neighbour, son, SIL, cousin, etc.. NO ONE KNEW his little dirty secret..

 

We never pursued.. he admitted that NO one would EVER EVER doubt that he had cheated ONCE on his wife..(9 years before) he was still looking for some excitement.. .. we never met again.. so I don't know if he met someone.. He was nice looking and to be honest, I completely forgot why we never met again.. (it's been like 8 years now)

 

He was proud to say that he was the great next door guy..

[Art_Critic]

[ReadyforLove]

I have done it....twice.

 

This second time, he turned out to be a liar, cheater, manipulator and a control freak. He had issues with control and would go on a power trip every now and then. I have worked in law enforcement as a teenager and most cops do not have any shame in their game. They will cheat on their spouses without thinking twice. There are of course "good cops" out there but I haven't met any yet. This doesn't mean that they don't exist though.

[janie423]

I have done it....twice.

 

This second time, he turned out to be a liar, cheater, manipulator and a control freak. He had issues with control and would go on a power trip every now and then. I have worked in law enforcement as a teenager and most cops do not have any shame in their game. They will cheat on their spouses without thinking twice. There are of course "good cops" out there but I haven't met any yet. This doesn't mean that they don't exist though.

 

 

I dated one. Last one I will ever date. He was a total liar. You could not express your opinion about anything, he would react agressively. I was warned not to date cops, and now I know not to do it again.

[CLC2008]

I think some of the comments in this thread are a bit skewed.

 

I have a few friends who are married to police officers. They are good to their wife and their kids and are great guys. I am sure there are those who aren't, but with anything there is good and bad on both sides.

 

I would think it has its challenges, like any relationship, but perhaps its a bit more daunting with the on the job risk factor, their stress levels are different from ours and the challenge in separating suit from civilian especially within a relationship.

[brainygirl]

I work with a woman who's married to a police officer, he walks into our building like he belongs there, even though he doesn't and they both are the most judgmental, intolerant people I have ever met.

 

And yeah, cops are going to put a lot of work into appearing to be good family men with the perfect family, but I've never met one that didn't have a superiority complex and want to control the people in his life.

[Engadget]

Another friend of mine was the WORST police officer in history. He actually got drunk, wearing his uniform and waving his gun out the window of his car driving 80 miles an hour on the highway.

 

Needless to say he eventually got canned for supplying alcohol to minors or something. Thank god, because he was dangerous. He was one of those that laughs about how they can speed for no reason, cut through parking lots, run red lights, etc.

 

Too many cops shouldn't be cops, and the scariest are sometimes Iraq war veterans. Some go from taking daily fire from enemies to dealing with civilians and can't handle the change.

[CLC2008]

For all intents and purposes in correlation to this thread, never date people in the following professions:

 

golf professional

(or any type of athlete period)

politician

actor

doctor

lawyer

artist

musician

real estate agent

 

[Feelin Frisky]

Cops eventually are swallowed by their own culture of authoritarianism and judgementalism. There is also in some cases an "above the law" mentality in which some cops try to out cheat each other and brag. My brother was a real sweetheart growing up but being a cop for 20 years--even a detective Sargent in Internal Affairs began to make him authoritarian with his children and snappy with his judgementality toward me. My other friends who were cops all fell into the same thing. They tended to want to brag or retell their stories which made them feel like laws unto themselves.

 

Cops can also draw shift work or get caught up in events that keep them from coming home and getting adequate rest. Some begin to resent their wives as having it easy while they default to deep seated warrior nature behind a uniform facade. I can tell you my brother is retired now but he is not who he was and is almost always unhappy with his wife and sons. My uncle was a lieutenant in the NYC police academy--he's a sadist who saw the opportunity to teach and demonstrate cruelty. I hate him.

[Kaplan]

Obviously you can't make general statements about every cop, but the vast majority of them won't be someone you should date. These are people who threaten people with violence on a daily basis.

 

It's possible that you can meet a good person who's a cop, but based on the cops that I've met, that seems very unlikely. And I've met a number of cops because I break the law a lot.