Fiancee left me for the woman he was cheating with?

[Nicole1992xx]

Ive been with my fiancee for over 5 years

(I started going out with him when I was 13 )

i was madly in love with him , and thought he was madly in love with me

the first year we was together, he cheated on me with a girl he knew

we broke up for a week but then decided to try again

it took quite a while to build the trust back up , but we did it.

 

 

so then today I was looking through his phone

and I find messages from THAT GIRL from years ago who he swore was out of his life, the messages were just going on about how in love they are and how great the sex is :/ etc

I am devastated.

I confronted him, and he just said sorry and left.

 

I dont know how Im ever going to trust again

I was totally in love with this man, i was convinced we were soul mates and all this time i meant nothing to him

i was used :|

 

how do i ever get over this?

Edited May 8, 2010 by Nicole1992xx

[giovanniazael]

The major mistake a lot of people make when dating is forgetting the value of loving themselves first. Someone will only value you as much as you value yourself and when you have found that profound love for yourself, there are things you will no longer accept. For example, going back to a guy that mistreats you shows the guy that you are nothing without him which will lead to major exploitation. He knows no matter what he does, you'll continue to stay. If you are faithful to a guy, why would you accept for him to cheat on you and get away with it. Of course, every rule has an exception, but when you love someone, it is easy not to cheat on them. Once you have come to love yourself fully, not only will you be valued more, but it will be easier for you to move on when someone you're with doesn't project that love you deserve. I wish the best for you and just know that sometimes we go through things in our lives that hurt us, but never allow that hurt to go on in vain. Learn, grow, then move on.

[hoping2heal]

I'm sorry for the pain you are going through. I hope that deep down you want someone who loves you the way you love them. If this man was carrying on two relationships; he certainly didn't do that. Be greatful things ended now and not when you have children and then are left abandoned by him. He lost a woman's love and care for him. You just lost a lying cheater. You got the better end of the deal, I assure you.

[tgif]

The major mistake a lot of people make when dating is forgetting the value of loving themselves first. Someone will only value you as much as you value yourself and when you have found that profound love for yourself, there are things you will no longer accept. For example, going back to a guy that mistreats you shows the guy that you are nothing without him which will lead to major exploitation. He knows no matter what he does, you'll continue to stay. If you are faithful to a guy, why would you accept for him to cheat on you and get away with it. Of course, every rule has an exception, but when you love someone, it is easy not to cheat on them. Once you have come to love yourself fully, not only will you be valued more, but it will be easier for you to move on when someone you're with doesn't project that love you deserve. I wish the best for you and just know that sometimes we go through things in our lives that hurt us, but never allow that hurt to go on in vain. Learn, grow, then move on.

 

Couldn't agree more!!! This is so true. I have forgotten myself since I dated my bf - ex now to be exact. After one year together in distance, I've realized that he lied to me all the time. He's still living with his ex wife like before the divorce. It totally broke my heart and I'm on the 5th day of NC. It is so hard for me and I did almost fail sometimes. Still NC though. He begs me everyday to forgive him and get back to him while he still wants to have another girl.

[giovanniazael]

Couldn't agree more!!! This is so true. I have forgotten myself since I dated my bf - ex now to be exact. After one year together in distance, I've realized that he lied to me all the time. He's still living with his ex wife like before the divorce. It totally broke my heart and I'm on the 5th day of NC. It is so hard for me and I did almost fail sometimes. Still NC though. He begs me everyday to forgive him and get back to him while he still wants to have another girl.

Good for you sweetie! Never depend on anyone to make you feel worthy.

[collegemommy]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It totally sucks!

 

I'm in the same situation. My ex fiance and I split and he is now dating some girl that he may have cheated on me with. They started dating immediately after he moved out. We have a child together and I was raising the two children he had from a previous relationship. We have beend friends our wholes lives and dated/engaged for the last 5 years. It ripped my heart out.

 

I wish I could tell you that the pain will ease soon. I can't because we have been done for a month and I still hurt. It's not as intense as it was in the beginning but it certainly still stings. I still get caught in the head games and like someone on here pointed out, I torture myself because I keep feeding into all the crap.

 

I know you are in this daze and are in so much pain. It makes it hard to take advice from anyone when you love someone so much especially when you planned on having a future with them. I urge you to involve yourself in things to keep you from sitting around thinking, seriously consider no contact because I wish I did, and above all realize you deserve so much better. There is someone out there that will love and appreciate you the way you deserve. This guy isn't that person...