DreamerGirl27 Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 There is this guy that I have been interested in, that has been talking to me non stop for 2 semesters. Well, the last day of school I was kind of emotional and I told my friend who wanted to post something on his wall to go ahead and do it, even though I had asked her not to. Well, she did, and she basically said this... "do you really not see what's right in front of you?" his response was that he does and he's not an idiot...so she told him to do something about it, and he said, "there's nothing to be done". She asked him why is that, and he said "why isn't it?" I mean, if that isn't rejection, I don't know what is. Anyway, I asked her to delete it for me and she did...and he posted about her deleting it. So I messaged him and told him that I had asked her to delete it for me and called him a jerk for making it public with his status update again. He has called me a jerk in joking before, but I wasn't joking this time. Anyway, he hasn't messaged me since then and that is kind of what I wanted. Because being "just friends" with him, is not working for me. I want more. He knows I won't see him again, too. I still feel like I have lost a friend. I feel like what happened online was dramatic, but I didn't know what my girlfriend was gonna say and once I saw it, I asked her to take it down. Did I totally blow everything? Not that I could've blown it anymore, he already said he doesn't like me. It's been since Wednesday he hasn't IMed me and that is a long time for him. Through out the semester he IMed me almost every day or every other day. He has been on a lot and hasn't IMed me once. I never IM him, either. I feel like, even if that little incident had NOT happened online, the outcome would have been the same. That now that he knows he doesn't have to see me, he is going to just fade away. It's like he is happy he doesn't have to see me in person anymore. This is what I want, because I don't want to be friends with him if he has 0 interest in me, but at the same time, I am going to miss him and this has been really super difficult on me. I am trying everything in my power to NOT message him. I feel like I should apologize for letting my friend do what she did, but at the same time, I don't want to be talking to him again. I don't know what to do. I know I need to let it go and move on, but I am so picky and I haven't liked a guy like this since I was 22 and I'm 25 now. I take FOREVER to like guys, and I hardly ever do. I don't want to let him go. Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 In general, people don't like to have something forced on them. You need to understand that your feelings do not always equal his feelings. This is a tough situation but you've got to just let go. Believe me, in due time you will see that 90% of the attraction was all in your head. You'll realize what a castle in the sky you built around him and how out of whack that it was with reality. It doesn't help when a friend starts to do your dirty work for you. That can just further annoy people. Delete him from Facebook or forever face the prospect of living in this hellish limbo world that you are in right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted May 11, 2010 Author Share Posted May 11, 2010 In general, people don't like to have something forced on them. You need to understand that your feelings do not always equal his feelings. This is a tough situation but you've got to just let go. Believe me, in due time you will see that 90% of the attraction was all in your head. You'll realize what a castle in the sky you built around him and how out of whack that it was with reality. It doesn't help when a friend starts to do your dirty work for you. That can just further annoy people. Delete him from Facebook or forever face the prospect of living in this hellish limbo world that you are in right now. No, I will not see that 90% of the attraction was all in my head. At least most definitely not physically...he is the most attractive guy I have ever known. Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 Yes, it is in your head. If you were thinking clearly you wouldn't be puppy dogging around him despite the fact that he has clearly told you and shown you that he isn't interested in you that way. If you were in touch with reality, you'd see this. You'd not be hanging around him hoping that the gravity of your feelings will draw him in. You don't see it now. Trust me, in a year (if you move on and find someone who can actually return your feelings) you'll see it was all this skewed fantasy of yours. While you were chasing this ghost, how may real guys with real interest in you, did you let pass right by you? Besides, physical attractions are all mental. You get the googly eyes and it's over for your mind. Or keep denying everything. Keep living in a world of denial. It's worked so well for you this far. Maybe by your 50th birthday he'll finally realize what a catch you were. Link to post Share on other sites
mishy Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 I can't even fathom what this is about, except it seems totally overblown, and from his perspective i think he sees you have a major thing for him, he is not interested, and it seems he has made that clear as is exasperated by it. I cringed when you actually messaged him about the deletion, i mean.... Thats teh point i think you lost him. I dunno, facebook is really really bad. You need to focus on something else. Three years of wanting him and nothings going to change, believe me Link to post Share on other sites
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted May 11, 2010 Author Share Posted May 11, 2010 I think maybe, 2 guys have been interested in me since I have been talking to him. I am not interested in them, though. They were both boring and ugly. I'm not the kind of girl that sits around and waits for the guys to come to me. I wanna pick him. It's ladies choice for me. I haven't liked him for 3 years, I haven't even known him 1 year. It's been 3 years since I have liked any guy. I never like anyone. They have to be 1,000% attractive to me physically, and they have to have the personality to match. This guy has all that, there is just one small problem...he doesn't like me like that, and I don't know why. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 No, I will not see that 90% of the attraction was all in my head. At least most definitely not physically...he is the most attractive guy I have ever known. I think maybe, 2 guys have been interested in me since I have been talking to him. I am not interested in them, though. They were both boring and ugly. I'm not the kind of girl that sits around and waits for the guys to come to me. I wanna pick him. It's ladies choice for me. I never like anyone. They have to be 1,000% attractive to me physically, and they have to have the personality to match. This guy has all that, there is just one small problem...he doesn't like me like that, and I don't know why. No offense but you seem very shallow. Maybe he saw that in you... Even if you were the hottest thing in the world, a shallow girl is a huge turn-off. Were you looking to him as boy toy or something? Heh, from the posts you made so far, you seem like a man trapped in a woman's body. Being very visual, getting a huge crush on somebody and being put in the friendzone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted May 11, 2010 Author Share Posted May 11, 2010 No offense but you seem very shallow. Maybe he saw that in you... Even if you were the hottest thing in the world, a shallow girl is a huge turn-off. Were you looking to him as boy toy or something? Heh, from the posts you made so far, you seem like a man trapped in a woman's body. Being very visual, getting a huge crush on somebody and being put in the friendzone. I was looking for a meaningful relationship with him. Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 Have you considered that he is out of your league? That you are to him what "ugly and boring" guys are to you. I don't mean to be mean, but I really think you need to wake up and smell the coffee. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 DreamerGirl27, I'm surprised that you didn't respond to my shallow comment at all. Hopefully it at least gave you some insight. SadandConfusedWA's comment may also be valid. If you've got some time read over my thread here. The responses I received may also be helpful to you. Feel free to skip over the parts where I start talking about 'my' girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted May 11, 2010 Author Share Posted May 11, 2010 Have you considered that he is out of your league? That you are to him what "ugly and boring" guys are to you. I don't mean to be mean, but I really think you need to wake up and smell the coffee. ummm no. lol because when I say he is 1000% attractive to me, that means by my standards. He is not some Adonis, hunky, muscly guy, or even some really incredibly pretty boy with a perfect face and blonde hair or something like that. He meets MY standards of looks. To me, he is the most attractive guy I have ever seen. I meet my standards of looks as far as the kind of girl I see him with, too. He isn't a model type, perfect looking guy. He is just perfect to me. There is one girl he has told me about that I know he liked for like, maybe a month and then changed his mind, and she was just average, but still pretty. So, he is not looking for some bombshell, either. Link to post Share on other sites
BiscuitXOXO Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 Wake up DreamerGirl...if he was interested he'd pursue you. I understand how you feel like he's "just perfect to you," except HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU. You can't force attraction on someone. Just let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 You've come here for advice, yet you are fighting everything. Almost everyone posting, including myself, have gone through this situation and we're trying to warn you off before you go deeper down the rabbit hole. You just refuse to listen. Kind of like what you did with this guy. You got it in your mind that you'll love him forever and ever and that your love bubble will be big enough for the both of you. It's over. If there was a chance, it was sank when your friend did that crap on Facebook. Why didn't you just have her hand him a note that says, "Do you like her? Circle YES or NO." Link to post Share on other sites
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted May 12, 2010 Author Share Posted May 12, 2010 She doesn't live here. I asked her not to do it. There was nothing I could do about it. She deleted it when I asked and I'm glad she did. I also apologized for her doing that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted May 12, 2010 Author Share Posted May 12, 2010 I'm not fighting that he doesn't like me. I know that. I AM fighting that I won't get over it. I NEVER like guys. EVER. To be completely honest, I have never been attracted to any guy like this in my entire 25 years. Sure, there have been ppl that were interesting. But never like this one. So, you can tell me to move on all day long. I'm not going to date anyone for a long time. There is nobody else in my life I am interested in right now and there probably won't be for another 25 years. It's my decision. I'd rather be alone than be with someone I don't like and I don't like anyone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts